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Bad childhood jokes

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:44

What do you get when you cross a sheep dog with a rose?

Collie flower

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:46

What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?

Cockadoodaldoo

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:47

Where do Whales get weighed?

A whale weigh station

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Caroline

Caroline Report 23 Mar 2019 18:08

Pace yourself there Tawny :-D :-D

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 18:20

Apologies :-D Just in from the pub :-D :-D

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Caroline

Caroline Report 23 Mar 2019 20:22

Oh no not worried at the number of jokes glad everyone is contributing drunk or otherwise :-D :-D

Allan

Allan Report 23 Mar 2019 20:50

A man walked into a zoo and asked the keeper if he could have to ape knees for a penny

(I must invest in Lotto; that's twice in one day ;-) :-D :-D)

Allan

Allan Report 23 Mar 2019 21:20

Perhaps not in the best of taste, but I did find this one funny. That says a lot about my sense of humour and also my mentality :-D :-D

I recently met a very attractive homeless woman and asked if I could take her home.

You should have seen her face light up as she said yes.

You should have seen how her expression changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 24 Mar 2019 01:46

Was accosted by a foreign gentleman that was a pound short of his airfare home......
gave him a tenner and suggested he take 9 others with him!....

Researching:
me and my darling wife at our wedding in 1960

Dermot

Dermot Report 24 Mar 2019 06:47

"Mummy, mummy! What's a werewolf?"

"Be quiet & go comb your face".

Allan

Allan Report 24 Mar 2019 09:47

Mummy, mummy, can I lick the bowl out?

No! You can flush, it just like everyone else.

Dermot

Dermot Report 31 Mar 2019 16:40

"I was raised by just my mum. See, my dad died when I was eight years old.

At least, that's what he told us in the letter".

Allan

Allan Report 31 Mar 2019 23:05

My new next door neighbour is a Russian Uber taxi driver, Pikup Andropov

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 1 Apr 2019 11:57

A lorry containing "Vick" has overturned on the M25 spilling its load all over...

police estimate that the road will be congestion free for several hours yet!!

Researching:
me and my darling wife at our wedding in 1960

Dermot

Dermot Report 8 Apr 2019 14:14

So near - yet sofa.

David

David Report 10 Apr 2019 13:26


Adultery is a sin, You can't have your Kate and Edith too.

Researching:
.

Dermot

Dermot Report 10 Apr 2019 16:34

Q - "Why is the new baby just like Daddy?"

A - "It is bald, sleepy & uneducated".

Allan

Allan Report 10 Apr 2019 21:40

Two lorries carrying cheese have crashed on the motorway which has been close until further notice because de brie is everywhere

Dermot

Dermot Report 11 Apr 2019 11:44

Insanity is hereditary. You can get it from your children.

Caroline

Caroline Report 11 Apr 2019 18:51

:-D :-D

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