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Bad childhood jokes

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Caroline

Caroline Report 4 Mar 2019 01:03

:-D

Dermot

Dermot Report 4 Mar 2019 07:20

Santa Claus has the sensible idea of visiting people only once a year.

Allan

Allan Report 4 Mar 2019 20:37

I was in court today for stealing a bag, I was acquitted in three minutes.


It was a brief case

Allan

Allan Report 4 Mar 2019 20:56

Jokes about sugar are rare, but jokes about brown sugar demerera




Tawny

Tawny Report 4 Mar 2019 21:30

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A doyouthinkhesawus rex

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Tawny

Tawny Report 4 Mar 2019 21:36

What did the grape say when it was stepped on.

Nothing it just gave a little w(h)ine

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 5 Mar 2019 00:48

If heights frighten you, then Base jumping is not a good idea!

Researching:
me and my darling wife at our wedding in 1960

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 5 Mar 2019 00:52

The Seminar for Psychic Enthusiasts has been cancelled,



due to unforeseen circumstances......

no one remembered to book the room.....

Researching:
me and my darling wife at our wedding in 1960

Dermot

Dermot Report 5 Mar 2019 07:04

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'Shutttup'.

Allan

Allan Report 5 Mar 2019 21:25

My wife is leaving me due to what she’s says is my obsession with graffiti.

To be fair, the writing has been on the wall for sometime

Dermot

Dermot Report 6 Mar 2019 08:58

Insanity is hereditary. You can easily get it from your children.

Allan

Allan Report 6 Mar 2019 20:58

I once had to work as a waiter at a local restaurant

The wages weren't great but at least I was able to put food on the table

Tawny

Tawny Report 6 Mar 2019 21:56

What do you call a man under a car?

Jack


What do you call a woman playing snooker whilst balancing a pint on her head?

Beertrix Potter

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Allan

Allan Report 6 Mar 2019 21:59

Research has shown that cows produce more milk when the farmers talk to them.

It's a case of straight in one ear and out of the udder

Allan

Allan Report 7 Mar 2019 00:53

To the person who stole my antidepressants, I hope you're happy now

Dermot

Dermot Report 7 Mar 2019 09:39

Men often name their children after themselves. Women don't.

Have you ever met a Sally junior?

Dermot

Dermot Report 7 Mar 2019 17:48

Teacher to young pupil: "How old is your father?"

Pupil: "He is 6 years old".

Teacher: "What? That's impossible".

Pupil: "He only became a father when I was born 6 years ago".

Allan

Allan Report 7 Mar 2019 21:15

To the person who took my diary, my thoughts are with you

Allan

Allan Report 10 Mar 2019 23:20

The postman delivered a very large, and very delicate piece of equipment for a project that I'm working on.

The equipment was wrapped in yards and yards of bubble wrap.

The postman kindly offered to help me unwrap it and when we finished he asked me what to do with the bubble wrap.

I tod him to pop it in the garage.

He was still there three days later.

Caroline

Caroline Report 11 Mar 2019 00:05

How does Batman Mum call him in for dinner?


Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman....

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