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Bad childhood jokes

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 4 Dec 2019 00:37

Husband Treats his wife to a week end of beauty treatments at a Posh Spa hotel for her 40th Birthday
When she returned Sunday Evening she asked " Well How do I look ?"
He replies, " From your skin.. 22.. your hair 20.. your figure 24 "
" Oh you do flatter me Darling , thank you "
He remarks " Hang on , I,ve not totted them up yet "

Researching:
me and my darling wife at our wedding in 1960

Allan

Allan Report 4 Dec 2019 09:21

I’ve just opened an Elvis Presley themed restaurant.

It’s for people who love meat tender.

Allan

Allan Report 9 Dec 2019 07:52

My friend has invented an invisible plane, but frankly I can’t see it taking off.

Dermot

Dermot Report 16 Dec 2019 19:14

"Mummy - why are you pushing our car off the cliff?"

"Shut up or you'll wake your dad!"

Allan

Allan Report 19 Dec 2019 20:24

Just got home and found the door and windows open and everything gone. How low can you get at this time of the year?

I hate people opening my Advent Calendar.

Caroline

Caroline Report 20 Dec 2019 02:27

:-D :-D :-D

Barbra

Barbra Report 24 Dec 2019 23:32

A man went to the doctors he said he had a mince pie up his bum .really said the Doc your right. Man says can you help me Don't worry says the Doc I have got some cream for that . :-D :-D

Researching:
Tipperary. Derby .Moray. ST. Helens. Bladen /.My Eldest Son /

Tawny

Tawny Report 25 Dec 2019 08:00

What kind of motorcycle does Santa drive?

A Holly Davidson

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Dermot

Dermot Report 25 Dec 2019 09:09

Men often name their children after themselves; women don't.

Have you ever met a Sally Junior?

Barbra

Barbra Report 25 Dec 2019 11:14

Why do you never see Father Christmas in Hospital because he has National Elf service :-D

Researching:
Tipperary. Derby .Moray. ST. Helens. Bladen /.My Eldest Son /

Allan

Allan Report 10 Jan 2020 20:55

What's an Ig?





An eskimo's house without a Loo

Allan

Allan Report 11 Jan 2020 20:45

The man recently mauled by a bear is expected to recover, but doctors say that he is not out of the woods yet.

Dermot

Dermot Report 12 Jan 2020 13:55

"Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed"?

"Because he has low elf-esteem"..

Tawny

Tawny Report 18 Apr 2020 13:40

What do you call artificial spaghetti?




Mockaroni

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Tawny

Tawny Report 18 Apr 2020 13:42

Which side of an apple is the left side?





The side that hasn’t been eaten.

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Tawny

Tawny Report 18 Apr 2020 13:44

What flies and wobbles?





A jellycopter.

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Caroline

Caroline Report 18 Apr 2020 13:59

:-D

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 18 Apr 2020 14:33

When is a banana not a Banana?


when its a Split!

Researching:
me and my darling wife at our wedding in 1960

Allan

Allan Report 18 Apr 2020 21:12

I was arrested for having an obsession with Englebert Humperdink songs and singing them loudly all night.

Eventually, the police released me and let me go.

Tawny

Tawny Report 17 Mar 2021 10:57

My wife bet me I wouldn’t dare give our daughter a silly name so I called her Bluff

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

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