General Chat

Alan took the webbing and fashioned a seat sling, attached it to a wire, and decided to abseil down the Blackpool Tower. He reckoned he could crack on that it was for charity, pocket the moolah and GET HOME.

Gingerly, he threw his leg over the parapet, it was surely windy up here.

The breeze blew through Alan hair, making him all the more windswept and interesting....

Ah, the sights, and even the sites, of Italy.

Never mind Venice, what about the Leaning Tower of Pizza?

Back in his original home country his favourite musical genre was Blackpool Rock.

But enough of these childish puns and pathetic jokes, which really should have appeared on a different thread, speaking of which, this one has now become the quintessential tangled web we weave.

:-D

Allan had been in one spot for so long we've forgotten where he is!!

He was grateful he wasn't back home as it seems there's a small heatwave coming in which he was fine with missing we'd guess.

He thought about going to Venice but then had a sinking feeling as he didn't like wading in the water so much these days.....

There really was no need to raise the issue of Allan's regularity, as greens or no greens, he was as regular as clockwork. Every morning, seven o'clock, on the dot!

The problem was that he didn't wake up until nine.

Ever since having to attend speech therapy as a young child, Allan had always been taught to open his vowels correctly.

That had sorted out his problem of being tongue-tied, next they had to work on his dyslexia :-S

Allan wasn’t sure whether he wanted to discuss his lack of greens and his regularity. ;-)

He would need his OH to explain.......

Happy Anniversary Allan trip...may it go on and on and be crazier and sillier as the days go by :-)

It was blindingly obvious what was wrong with Allan lately. He'd had his protein with everything tasting like Chicken except the Chicken...He'd had his questionable mushrooms...but had he had his greens?? NO.....Allan wasn't regular on the threads with his travels....what to do.....would coconuts help he wondered as his mind went back to the happy days of the young lady with the lovely bunch of coconuts......

Greasy frogs' legs, which were an acquired taste, and the way his OH cooked them left Allan hopping mad!

Yes almost a year and yet still no postcard sent to any of us what is wrong with Allan and his OH :-)

Allan cooking skills were amazing he could make anything taste like chicken except ironically chicken!! it always seemed to taste like.........

He much preferred My Kitchen Rules, besides now that the old line up of MasterChef judges has been dissolved the programme would never be the same, whatever that was.

Having consulted his trust cook book come dairy, sorry, diary, he realised that he and his now missing OH had now been drifting aimlessly from one imaginary location to another for almost a year now.

The lands the had visited, the sights they had seen, the foods they had eaten; If they ever got back to reality Allan would certainly have to mention this to his good friend Thomas Cook.

Boy, those mushrooms really were delicious.

Allan was thinking that if his soup was a success he would apply to be on Masterchef Australia. But.........

Allan sorted through the debris of the crackers, as well as adjusting his crushed nuts, and decided that the crackers must have been of the cream variety; at least that was what Jacob told him when he (Jacob) demanded their return.

Now if Allan could just locate some water, with a little ingenuity and a lot of imagination, he could prepare a delicious cream of mushroom and cheese soup.

John the Divine just shook his head sadly. Even he had never had visions quite like that.

Poor Allan has been traveling for so long almost a year that he quite forgot about some itmes stuffed in his pockets for later/just in case. One of which was a small package of cheese and one of crackers. Now as you can imagine both were rather crushed and old to say the least....not unlike our hero in this story and yet still so very comforting. Mushrooms and cheese and crackers would be a intersting meal to say the least.

Unfortunately these mushrooms were giving him strange dreams.

Allans dreams were of him eating cheese - but there were no cows, goats or sheep on his island.....

Since his wife had run off taking her copious bag of goodies with her, Allan had to think hard, mind you, thinking had always been hard for him.

He remembered that somewhere in the vicinity there was a long abandoned nuclear power station.

If he could find it and reach the core he could always remove one of the rods and try his hand at nuclear fission. He might only catch an electric eel but that would provide AMPle food for his needs as well as acting as a very gentle night-light as the remains glowed gently on.

However, it was back to reality as he helped himself to another of these rather tasty mushrooms and continued his conversation with John the Divine.

.....for something to help him either fish or catch an animal.

A man needs some protein and all these berries were giving him the pip.

Now that his OH had run off with her golden goose Allan had been left on his own.
He was getting even hungrier and so starting looking..........

OH overtook the goose in her hope to escape Allan.

She'd seen him looking longingly at one of her legs whilst he was sharpening the axe.

Providing a meal was one thing, but being the said meal was a totally different kettle of fish, or in this case legs.

If there were to be an argument she preferred to have both legs to stand on

Which wasn't fast at all...in fact at the speed it was travelling the only thing slower was Brexit...and now Wexit is going to overtake it too.....Allan decided enough was enough.....he needed a proper meal once and for all and loudly declared that his OH was going to provide said meal........

Bush tucker was fine. Now all they had to do was find a busy highway, hide in the bush, (hence the name) and wait for some luckless animal to venture onto the road to meet an untimely demise.

Those years spent in Leonora had not been wasted.


The goose gave them a quizzical look and legged it away from the road as fast as its gold-producing body could carry it.

Journeys to jungles what could possible go wrong??......by now Allan was rather peckish...so when he heard of something called bush tucker....well he thought show me the way to the food......