General Chat

down & up, sideways too but got no reply except strange sounding Welsh words

..on the sheeps nuts.....the food...filthy minds....

After what felt like hours they finally arrived at the train station.

The station master looked Allan up and down and....

To discover OH had hitched another ride with a truck full of sheep, and guess where Allan will be sitting

Wow must have hit that water too hard, first Theresa hits me in the kitchen now she's here talking about Brexit.
Then in the distance he hears OH sweetly saying "Allen sweety where are you honey"....oh yeah I have the tickets she needs me!
Allen went back to the road.......

the words of eternal damnation that Brexit was finally put to bed with Theresa May in a single room with a backdrop breakfast included

Yes it was....well for a second anyway.

Allan stumbled into the bush and happened upon a little bubbling brook. The sunshine glittered off the water, the birds sang sweetly in the trees.
Allan jumped in to wash himself. As he hit the water he heard.....

look on the bright side, which is nigh on impossible when you're covered in sludge and have an odour exuding off you in palpable green waves.

Still, he thought to himself, what else could possibly go wrong; all the back luck was behind them now.

Wasn't it?

...dripping God knows what all along the road he tried to leg it to the bush.
Who knew his neeps would affect his running so much and who knew his OH would laugh so loudly AND film it.

Here we go again he thought I'll be a YouTube hit for the millionth time....Allen tries to Limbo dance...Allan tries to bungee jump....Allan tries to........

he slipped in the sludge and mangled his neeps on the side of the truck. It was the first time he had seen his wife laugh in weeks.

Muttering to himself, in a high-pitched style of mutter, he slithered off the truck and with his case......

jump off the truck and leg it!

As he tried to climb over the edge ........

Allan, meanwhile, had more pressing things to worry about, -like staying upright in the fast flooding deluge at the rear of the truck.

The suitcase was fast changing colour as it soaked up much of the stream flowing towards Allan. He didn't know whether to be pleased that it stemmed the flow or worried that there would be very limited dry clothes to share between them.

However, he knew he must keep OH happy, so decided the only course of action was..........

The truck pulled over and asked OH what the matter was she replied I've left my survival kit at home, how will I manage without my lippy."

Hiking boots she said well I told her you can't beat good old whellies in times like this....


then there was a loud scream from the cab......

Allan, being the gallant chap that he is, gave his wife a gentle nudge up into the cab of the vehicle and hurled himself in the back and tried to use the suitcase as a barrier between himself and the other occupants.

Oh how he wished he had chosen the non canvas brand of case, as flowing towards him as they climbed the next rise in the road, there poured a steady flow of steaming liquid.

How lucky that Allan was wearing the most amazing footwear.........................

Random thoughts had a habit of creeping into his mind...now will I need to get OH running off to the nearest store for said stomach churn...nah no point.....

Oh look this truck looks nice...well he's stopping...what's...what's that smell......oh no pigs.......

room for one little one inside other one in t'back fight it out amongst yourselves but be quick about it....I can feel my inside grumbling I'm either hungry or in need of the bathroom.....

Needless to say.......

You can never gainsay the weather when we usually expect wet & dismal Christmas school holidays.

This was the point when he remembered that he might not have packed the stomach churn and what would be the point of the holiday without it?

Oh might need that pie for a snack on the train, better put it under my hat so I don't lose it.
Come on lass let's get going, have you got the placard ready "train station or bust" no point wasting money on a taxi.....have you practiced flashing your knee I know I have".....

Later at the side of the dusty highway....Allan sitting on the cases watching OH flashing her knees to all the passing truckers.....when suddenly....

Pumpkin Pie which was looking dry & dispirited in the season of mists & mellow fruitfulness

Which reminds me I need my Beats by Dre never listen to Neil without them.

Allen tried to close the zippers on his cases....gosh darn it too much stuff well the wife won't need all those dresses I've a feeling she'll be cabin bound for a while. Having thrown out most of her things he finally succeeded in closing the zippers....only to suddenly glance across the room his one and only......