General Chat

:-D :-D

Allan started to wonder if maybe he was in another dimension or some such....Theresa Brexit terns oh my......at least no one has been called Bruce ...yet....

It suddenly dawned on Allan....this wasn't a holiday it was a test...if he passes what will he win he wondered......just as a broad beam of light....

As Allan stumbled down the never ending corridors in search of a dinning room he kept meeting women of all shapes and sizes.

On introducing himself he was amazed to find that they were all called Lucy.

Remembering the bang on his head when he had slithered in the sludge on shore he now believed that these women were part of a Lucy nation (think about it, gentle reader) as was his continued visions of Mrs May and the references to Brexit.

Thus assured, he continued his gentle stumble.

Passing through a door he was certain would lead to a food area, Allan was surprised to find himself on an open deck.

Here he watched in amazement as another passenger approached him with what appeared to be a seagull on a lead.

"I say," said Allen, ever the gentleman, "What on earth are you doing?"

"Just taking a tern round the deck" was the response.

Allan decided that the food could wait, he needed to find something more liquid and potent so that he at least had some sort of excuse for all these weird encounters

war paints are discouraged because of their caustic ingredients but lipstick is still worn by Her Majesty on all social occasions, whether or not Allan got an invite to a fish supper in Buckingham Palace.

Queen Elizabeth was delighted to receive her 'cold weather' payment the other day, credited to her bank account at the branch just a short walk down from the Palace. It's the only branch still open in that area.

Fat Featherless Turkeys are much sought after at this time of year to be gobbled up by rich & poor alike. Good quality soup can be made from Turkey left-overs to warm the cockles of the poor & hungry homeless sleeping under flimsy sleeping bags in shop doorways & underneath flyovers.

Brexit will change nothing.

Breakfast " lim starving says Allan , wonder what dish of the day is might take some for OH now her stomach is empty she must be famished ,put some colour on her cheeks then again"....

but enough of what on earth is this thought Allan??....

I don't remember her eating carrots anyway......after checking she was as well as can be...eg alive....Allan went off in search of...

enough to make a long story even longer.

As usual put his foot in it, OH had thrown up and missed the bucket leaving the floor awash with ....

All are welcome Barbra we need the new input :-D


If that was dinner hate to think what breakfast will be like thought Allan, hang on a mo why does OH look so green....bless no sea legs....what's that she's mumbling something about barnacles where...nope sure I don't have any for her to plunder...

Next morning as the sun rose over the sewage farm onshore in the distance Allan......

Dinner was sheeps tail soup followed by leg of sheep & Rhubarb & sheep dip crumble omg he say to oh why have we paid all this money for this .no wonder the captain looked sheepish ;-) Couldn't resist joining in ;-) Barbara xx

while the pendulum of life on board oscillates in sympathy with unutterable eagerness & expectation of a quiet evening in the lumpy bunk bed,

Blimey old Theresa keeps popping into my life should I be worried thought Allan.

Ah there's our ship....looks like they're almost ready to go....come on old girl let's be smart.

Allan and OH managed to board the good ship Calamity just in time.

At dinner that night.....

there was Theresa May looking for solutions to her many Brexit worries. She realised the moment an underdog becomes an overlord, Boris starts acting very differently as all fickle politicians do.

He cannot resist looking at the lives of mere mortals who are not as pious & perfect as himself & with such a mop of hair, Donald Trump would like to add to his array of wigs.

Tomorrow is always another day. Strange, isn't it!

Sheepishly Allan wondered whether to tell OH as she lay on the plump bed, or should he quickly slip away and try and find the correct ship.
He decided to scan the horizon and lo and behold...

was the wrong ship!

This actually was a livestock carrier which just been recently banned from continuing the live sheep trade to the Middle East and had obviously had a very cheap make-over.

The work had been done very baaadly

When the tugboat seemed to start bringing crew that had obviously been "encouraged" to join....(press-ganged)...he got a tad worried....until he saw his quarters.....wow it was amazing it was super it.......

The tugboat took them out to the ship, which, due to its size, couldn't dock in the actual Port.

If this is the way to transfer passengers, thought Allan, doing a quick calculation, we'll still be here six weeks after the end of our holidays.

Still, steadily, inexorably, the transfers continued

Tug Boat :-D such a.Shame as the only seat for Mr & Mrs.A to share had a chain on the side. Don't flush it oh you silly B### My feet are wet better go """

What a strange name for a place thought Allan ....why didn't he call it Chuck after his first name Charles ....meanwhile OH had counted all the bags and wondered when they bought one that looked like a sheep?
Oh well she thought he always wanted a sheepskin coat.
Then they saw the ship....when I say ship I really mean more like a ............

Bah! said the Station Master, which somewhat startled Allan as he thought that all the sheep had departed on the truck.

Then he realised that after trying to count how many sheep were on the truck, by the simple expedient of counting the number of legs and dividing that number by four, he had fallen into a deep sleep.

It could, of course, been worse;. he could have fallen into a deep drainage ditch.

However it had been achieved, they had arrived at Fremantle where they were to board the ship for the next part of their exciting saga.

Sorry, that last word should have been adventure.

Which might have something to do with the sheep nuts he'd been snacking on earlier