General Chat

Meanwhile unknown to Allan OH was looking through her pictures....she knew it was a good idea bringing her laptop with her...now where are those pictures of Allan when he was.........

the siren song of the porcelain maid called to her and off she rushed to answer the call.

For the moment, Allan was safe, although at the moment he was also blithely unaware that his OH had now discovered how the voyaged had been financed and that his days were possibly numbered

She wondered if she might combine the two activities....violence to Allan and bathroom breaks.....surely not.......but then..

Meanwhile, Allan's OH had just found out that her secret nest egg savings had been snaffled when the credit card was not accepted in the gift shop.

Her mood darkened and her thoughts turned to violence. This actually made a nice change to her usual thoughts of how she could navigate her way back o their cabin via the most direct toilet route.

not more tacky sunglasses...they don't suit me at all.

Allan ran down the gangplank knocking over a few seniors as he did so....."sorry so sorry excuse me"

Suddenly Allan as ever led by his stomach smelled Poh...and saw Jamface...."oh I've always wanted to go there" he thought and off he trots....

Who was no where to be found, then Allan spied a note on the bunk bed telling him his OH had gone to spend some of her savings in the gift shop
Oh no thought Allan breaking out in a cold sweat.......

When he recovered he wondered just why he'd spent sooooooo much money on a cruise when he could have stayed at home and listen to OH cracking lame jokes :-D

Then he remembered he'd used OH secret nest egg he'd found last Spring clean....

Suddenly the ship shuddered to a halt and the tannoy said "shcehhhed all yewoloo now".....lucky enough Allan was used to public announcements and knew it meant Adelaide all off now.....

Allan went looking for OH......

Allan decided to go outside and get some air and to clear his head.

On the deck he encountered the passenger to whom he had previously spoken.

This time the passenger was throwing rocks at the circling seagulls. Dreading the answer, Allan gamely asked him what he was doing.

Back came the reply, “I’m leaving no tern unstoned”

At this point, Allan fainted

Suddenly a little man in a white suit started yelling" ze the plane" non stop and Allen knew it was time to seek help.

After knocking his head...AGAIN....to try and clear it Allan decided onwards to Adelaide.....what could possibly go wrong.....

to reality, and stop eating these mushrooms, he thought.

The only person he knew who had been sitting on a fortune all her life was Maggie May (no relation), but that's another story.

This holiday was turning into a cruise to Fantasy Island, and the ship hadn't even called in at Adelaide yet

and dig up OH prized Roses I'm sure she won't mind....will she??

Now how to tell OH that this dream cruise is coming to an abrupt end and we're going home.....

Then Allan had a light bulb moment.........

His home in Australia, Allan couldn't believe it ,he'd only been sitting on top a treasure trove for years, I need to get back.......

Oh well said Allan at least he won't talk non stop about brexit....

So where's this treasure then me hearty?

Black Beard threw a map at him.

Allan slowly unrolled it and found a map of...

an enriching experience in itself

And hit his head again knocking himself out,after a minute or two Allan started to come round and found himself face to face with Captain Black Beard ...

found a whisky bottle.

Unfortunately for the poor fellow, it was empty. He went into a crazy rage just like
Fr Jack in the popular UK TV comedy

wonder why the word Dyslexia was so difficult to spell and yet so common....now where was I he thought oh yeah fire....as he expected DV cloak wasn't fireproof like all cheap costumes and it went up quickly. While DV was trying to douse the fire Allan went to the wheel house where he...

go to the clinic for dyslexics.

Allan began to realise that he had hit his head harder than he thought, although seven straight days without booze could also bring about a state of mind which bordered on normality.

With this depressing thought, Allan decided that it was better to fight fire with water and quickly began to

laugh at his own jokes...sad.....

Suddenly he thought maybe he should do something and wouldn't you know it, he happened to have a handy dandy mini lightsabre in his bum bag as you would.

Gosh darn it no power it was a solar one where's that sunshine in all this fog he pondered.....I know thought Allan the sure way of beating DV is.....

sliced through the thickening fog.

Surely, this couldn't be the Inchcape Rock?

That name rang a bell with Allan, but alas, it was all in his mind as he remembered that the original bell on the Rock had been stolen hundreds of years before by Sir Ralph the Rover.
Besides, this ship was sailing in Australian waters where the only thing to worry about was colliding with the numerous boats using the Southern routes for their people-smuggling activities.

Now, not only day dawned, but so did the realisation that Allan was face to mask with Darth Vader; that beaming ray of light was from DV's light sabre (he'd left the heavy one back on his space ship

Allan began to