General Chat

Allan ever a practical man tried to work out how you'd play the Worlds largest fiddle and then stumbled over the question why you'd have the Worlds largest fiddle. He assumed it was just down to crazy thoughts due to cabin fever bought on by the long cold winters. He then started to think about all the water in Canada....lakes so big they're like seas...deciding there were too many possible ways for OH to dispose of him in Sydney he decided to choose somewhere else to go and surprise her....he stuck a pin in his globe...forgetting it was an inflatable one....and decided on.....

..so he checked Sydney out and found it was the home to the world's biggest fiddle.

Uh oh! :-S

You'd see him in the snowbank that's all that mattered......OH started knitting him a scarf whilst muttering something about can't make it too tight.....Allan started to work out an itinerary.....wonder if I can meet anyone famous he thought.....

Allan had still got the coat he wore at last years drama play Joseph and the amazing technicolor coat, that should be okay, shouldn't it?

As everyone knows if you don't have water-proof gloves you just put plastic bags over your regular ones so that was sorted.....now coat which to wear......

....decided to include in her knitting some of that sparkling yarn with metallic thread running through it.
That should give the garment added strength and a certain 'itch factor'

Oh dear, it looks like she has run out of thread to complete both legs, so one leg of the pants will be knee length only, .... just right for Brotherhood meetings should Allan find a lodge during his travels.

Now what to wear on his hands?

Which being Canada is appropriate to some degree. Unfortunately, he didn't hear Bobble hat but bobblehead which made him laugh. OH thought he was laughing at him and.....

Knitting reminded Allan of the French Revolution & its associated reign of terror; guillotines flashing down followed by aristocratic heads rolling past crackling old women knitting away as the psychopathic crows roared in the background.

OH,"yes of course I can knit you some, I've got plenty of bits and bobs of wool that needs using up,if you behave your self I'll even kni you a bobble hat to match"

Allan checked online and found he needed to wear snowpants to keep warm in Nova Scotia even during summer let alone Winter.....how on Earth do you make pants out of snow thought Allan wonder if OH can knit them??

a little while longer so he can iron a few shirts. He hates wearing woolly jumpers delivered free for Christmas showing a childish Santa half-way down a sooty chimney.

Not the best time of year for the King of Kings to be born in a draughty barn. Double glazing & loft insulation had not yet been invented. Many were lucky to have a barn door of any sort.

To match the goose pimples he's going to have if and when he gets there.
Could this really be the final destination thought Allan, but wait......

Luckily, Allan likes nothing better than a Canadian goose sandwich

....except Geography wasn't ever OH strongest subject

She'd only gone and booked Sydney Nova Scotia Canada, a lovely place but not the place to wear your Mankin in November :-D

“Sydney!” his wife replied, “While you’ve been daydreaming over the last few days, I’ve been to the travel agents and booked the trip; and don’t even think about going back to Cleethorpes, not after that unsavoury incident involving your little bit of Cleethorpes rock”

Allan was mortified. He’d hoped that his OH had forgotten about that little peccadillo.

His OH had the memory of an elephant, as well as other similarities.

So, Sydney it was to be then

Irony or not the call of the Mankini on a bracing beach in Cleethorpes won Allan voer but how to convince the OH.......

"Oh sweetie" Allan called his beloved OH......"Guess where we're going..."

But in the end he decided not to.

After all, he had lived in Cleethorpes for five years before immediately prior to him being transported, sorry, emigrating to Australia.

Both of his children had been born at the Croft-Baker Maternity home which meant that their place of birth was shown as Grimsby, not the elite Prestbury in Cheshire as was on his own birth certificate.

This alone was a very good reason not to return to the UK and face the prospect of doing time.

The irony of Allan being the only person ever transported to Australia before he had committed a crime was not lost on him

Cleethorpes in the uk, mmmm I wonder if I should chance it, thought Allan.
Could go in disguise......

A bit of money would be an understatement thought the undercover tax inspector as he dunked his digestive into his mug of tea....we've been watching him for months with these hidden cameras he'll try and spend the money soon and we'll catch him......now what's he doing another internet search.....

Allan typed in exotic holidays that don't cost a fortune but the OH thinks they do....mankinis allowed.....he was surprised there was only one hit and it was......

Hmm, thought Allan, parrots from Norway?

Actually, the only parrots Allan had ever heard about were those from Cornwall, the parrots of Penzance, but a trip to the UK was out of the question as he still owed the UK taxman a bit of money.

So back to the drawing board or even possibly the travel agents to obtain some expert advice