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barge pole, preferably a ten foot six one as he knew that he'd never touch him with a ten foot one.

Allan knew from experience that a few extra inches could make a big difference.

Unfortunately, being a good distance from any canals, barge poles were few and far between.

Allan would have to improvise

the big tent....."no wonder he's called Rick O'Shea" thought Allan.....but back to the current dilemma what to do what to do......"I know" said Allan to no one, in particular, all I need is a great big......

...aimed it in the direction of Rick O'Shea.

At the time, Rick was just showing Allan's O.H how he was ace at aiming and hitting the targets on a coconut shy.
The flaming dagger hurtled towards Rick, hit a coconut, deflected and then changed direction,
Oh no ! It was heading straight for

Unfortunately, as in the famous song, there was a hole in his bucket.....
Allan thought OH would rush to his aid but when he emerged from the bucket he saw her walking away with Rick giggling like a little school girl.
Allan fumed...."not again Rick" he thought "you're not stealing another woman from me"......you'll have to wait for the prequel to find out those details sorry.....
Allan looked around him and saw the flaming dagger throwing man.....in one bound Allan leaped over grabbed a flaming dagger and............

"Rick O'Shea," the stranger answered, his eyes gleaming at Allan's OH

"Oh! So nice to meet you, but after what Allan tolled me about you I expected your face to be somewhat more rugged."

Rick gave another beaming smile and said, "But the cell was padded, my dear. Nothing could destroy my marvellous visage unless, of course, it would be another of those radiant smiles of yours which would simply melt the skin off my face."

Allan had, meanwhile, found a bucket which he held up to his mouth and was making vomiting noises ( a sound effect taught to hi by his OH at the original start of this saga)

"Twenty years surely Allan isn't old enough to have been working that long" the young lady with the coconuts giggled......just as she did a hand shoved her from the side and she ended up in the candy floss machine. OH put her hand out to greet the stranger "No kind Sir I am Allan wife and you are?".........

"Allan, so good to see you. Why it must be nigh on 20 years since we worked together on that project."
"This must be your wife, who you told me about", said the newcomer, giving coconut girl a charming smile.

"Ah well, " Allan started to explain, but before he could say another word..........

as it would at the circus/funfair.....but it only took Allan attention for a second. He managed to catch the young lady with the coconuts eys....he smiled and waved and she returned the gesture....Allan confidence boosted cleared his throat then heard a voice behind him say.......

a Mexican walking fish ambled along looking as if hadn't a care in the world.

But hang on what's this he sees.....none other than a beard lady....why does he always seem to have reminders of OH no matter where he looks......nope bypassing that one....okay here's the Helter-skelter.....line up a bit long but there's the young lady with the coconuts wonder if we can share a mat...Allan approached her to inquire when all of a sudden...

It was another trapeze.
Allan supposed he should have made a grab for it and gone flying through the air to loud gasps and applause, but it caught him off balance and he plunged downwards and landed non too gracefully on the safety net.
He thought he'd laddered his sparkling tights, but they survived and he limped off through the main entrance to see what other delights were on-site.
He'd leave Theresa to perform her high flying act alone.

Allan realised there were fairground amusements there too.
Decisions, decisions. Should he first have a go at the hoopla or climb the helter-skelter?

His OH....he rubbed his eyes...blinked...rubbed again....nope....but hang on it's Theresa May......what.....Allan couldn't for the life of him figure out why Theresa kept coming into his life what was the meaning of all this madness....then it dawned on him...he was in a circus and politics are like the circus....meanwhile Theresa was yelling something at Allan......"Watch out for the...." but she swung back before he could hear the rest.....then it hit him...literally.......

Suddenly, swinging towards him came a vision of loveliness.

Clad in cerise sequined leotard and hanging upside down from a high trapeze came..."Oh no," thought Allan, "Surely that can't be........?"

tightrope walker.....never one to let his vertigo get in the way of his dreams Allan threw on some sparkly tights and started climbing the ladder.....what could go wrong....

The seaweed in the bucket added a certain 'something' to Allan's good looks as it hung in green locks onto his shoulders. This was not the look for a burger-master or a santa, but as luck would have it, Allan noticed a huge tent nearby, a Big Top and wondered whether this visiting circus had need of a new trainee.

Perhaps he could achieve his long-held wish to perfect his skills as a .......

The girl with the marvellous coconuts ran up and put the flames out with a bucket of seawater.

She also put the cat out, which caused quite a flap, and gave Allan paws for thought

:-D :-D all that and a svelte body too......

Then it dawned on Allan.....flaming grills and his hair that even Fabio would be jealous of ; again you're welcome Allan; didn't mix....well they did in a flare-up sort of way.....Allan ran through the Mall hair ablaze until....

All these flipping thoughts are making me feel hungry Allan thought to himself, as he threw another veggie burger onto the flaming grill!

He was still tormented by the Irish personality and wondered if it was somehow tied up with his good friend of a few years ago who he had met whilst sharing a padded cell. This Irishman had first attracted his attention by bouncing from wall to wall at various angles as though playing a game of human snooker.

What was his name?

Al last Allan dredged up the poor chap’s name from the depths of his bedraggled and demented memory. It was Rick O’Shea

Unfortunately....you knew there had to be one didn't you.....it was a vegan grill place.....flipping carrots must be easy surely....

A vacancy for a grill chef, "well that's more up my street I know my way around a kitchen flipping burgers would be a doddle..