General Chat

What happens if I pee soup? do I call the doctor?

Wont really matter you'll be landing to pee all the time...

Will they help keep the broomstick in the air?

You're fine doing any type of activity Allan as long as you're sensible.....might need support stockings soon though....

Should I be riding on a broomstick in my condition? :-0

Okay we don't want to upset the great RRer so from now on no insensitive jokes about Allan and his OH mode of transport along Harry Potter style...no bare legs no young lady with a lovely bunch of coconuts......Oh heck who are we kidding carry on as normal everyone........

Next to the place where all the men wear their trousers rolled up you mean??

Yes Allan was pleasantly surprised to see they had a promotion going on buy four mini pork pies and get the chance of winning a trip to Melton Mowbray. As luck would have it Allan bought his pies seconds before the contest closed......and lighting does strike twice...no one else had entered seems there was a lack of interest in Pork pies in this area. The tickets were handed over...oh heck....he had to take OH and have some promotional pictures taken over there AND be interviewed by something called This mornings Phil......

They were to leave immediately now where was OH?? Blimey she's getting her hair done how did she know???........what could go wrong.......

From the Pork Pie shop, obviously. You know - the one next to the Travel Agents.

Now what was he up to...oh yes looking for a decent Pork pie....where could he find one at this hour??....

They were on the outskirts of Witchcliffe so they tried the door of the very first house in that small town that they had drunkenly arrived at.

The door slowly opened, as did Allan's eyes. For there, leaning in the entrance hall, was a broomstick which Allan immediately recognised as belonging to his OH.

Oh, what a serendipitous moment.

Pushing the startled householder aside, whilst still trying to recall the words of "Rudolf the red knows rain dear", he grabbed the broomstick and ran back into the street.

At the third attempt he managed to sit astride the broom and muttering the magical incantation of “How the bl**dy hell does this thing start” he was off down the street at a fair rate of knots

After a few more songs Allan thought they were ready for a bit of Carol singing now which door to knock on first........

It was nearing Christmas and perhaps it would seem rude not to accept a friendly invitation.
The Old Timer finished his chores then they settled down and sang a few songs, while they drank together. Allan wasn't always too sure of the words, but his throat was well-lubricated, so he sang heartily............

"You are the moonshine of my life"...................

.. he pondered on the offer. He could end up Waltzing with Matilda when he should be Driving Home for Christmas.

Hands off my unmentionables they're all mine but you can have a swig of moonshine if you want....

Allan knew he shouldn't but......

They were Coolibah trees and a Old Timer was washing his unmentionables in the billabong.

He told Allan..........

It seemed to be coming from the direction of the clump of trees near the river.

It didn't smell very pleasant...or natural.. Had someone started a home-brew enterprise or perhaps they were trying out a new aerosol.?

What was it?

That weird noise and smell were.........

As the crowd funding hadn’t worked Allan refunded himself the $5. Now he could afford a black coffee whilst he worked out what .......

$5.00 plus a few comments such as "Why should we pay for your vivid imagination?" and "Why does Rick always bounce back?"

It was obvious to Allan that of all his daft ideas perhaps this one was the daftest.

He headed, in rather an erratic way, to the next winery to ponder on what to do now.

His head was full of thoughts, but which were his own? He had no way of telling but his were definitely in the minority

and if Allan makes Merry then everyone knows all about it...in fact it was all across the front page the next day no less.
Allan started a Gufundme to raise the money to pay for Rick trip, and generously added $5 to start it all off.
To everyone surprise after only 12 hours they'd raised.......