General Chat

'Blimey, Errol Flynn never had all this trouble!' thought Allan.

Going In, coming out, going in again, it could have been the Okey Cokey!!

Sadly it wasn't! Allan snuck under the bridge at Traitors Gate, and crept slowly and silently along the walls.

Now, where was OH? Not the Bloody Tower that was for sure.

Very possibly the Jewel Tower looking for inspiration for birthdays. The Star of India would look very fetching on a gold chain around ones neck.

Over the green again, past the chopping block, and inside the tower. Allan went along the passage, carefully avoiding the security cameras and opened the door in front of him. Standing in the middle of the room, was a Beefeater with his hands full of.............

..when he remembered where he had last seen his OH.

She was locked in the Tower of London and she did so love men in uniform......

fearing a mud bath would make him so youthful looking OH wouldn't know him, he quickly got out of that but not before he found a small object covered in mud...putting it into his pocket he thought I'll check that out later...he somehow managed to get to a little row boat moored nearby, and started his quest for Windsor....

Allan needed to get back to Windsor,.

I know, I,ll borrow a boat and sail down the Thames. Easy, he thought, as he hopped over the embankment wall only to find the tide was out....

It's only me is as it turns out NOT the correct answer....Oh heck thought Allan...just then there was a shower of coconuts...I always thought she only carried 2...but it was enough for Allan to make his escape through the gates...now what....

Allan crept along the battlements, down the stone steps and out through Traitors Gate.

'There's irony' thought Allan 'oh well, may as well be hanged for a sheep than a lamb'

'Hey up, better behave like a Beefeater, march along here, bags of swank!'


The ravens looked on with glassy eyes, and began cawing again, thank goodness their wings had been clipped, or else it may have been a scene from that Alfred Hitchcock film.


Allan, began his flight to freedom, when the Ceremony of the Keys began.


The light was fading, and Allan managed to tag onto the procession of Beefeaters heading towards the main gate.


'Halt who goes there?' cried the soldier on the gate...……….

an old moth-eaten Beefeaters uniform....that'll do nicely thought Allan I always look good in red and OH loves a man in uniform.
There was no fooling those birds though........

Up the stone steps clattered Allan. There at the top was a tiny cell, just enough space for two at the most. Crikey thought Allan, these ceilings are low, I know people were shorter in those days, but they could be no taller than children.

Hello...……….one more flight of stairs and we could be on the battlements.

The wind blew through Allans hair, and Allan grabbed at it.

The breeze from Old Father Thames was chilly, and gave Allan a shiver. Surely there was something in one of the rooms downstairs to keep hime warm. He cursed himself for not wearing his Fair Isle tank top.


Down the stone steps again, and along the corridor with the guns arranged around the walls, eerily gleaming in the flickering candlelight.


At once Allan saw a large wood chest in front of him, unlocked, Allan peeped inside and dragged out......

Just like the siren on the police car, Allan had no idea how to silence the alarms, so decided that the best course of action was to make a quick retreat.

He thought it would be wise to leave any jewels in that room, because being in possession might ruin his 'not guilty' plea if he was later caught.

He'd just have to think of another anniversary gift nearer the time.

Lots of large black birds were awoken by the commotion and seemed to mock Allan's running style, screeching "Caw, caw, caw" as he dashed past wondering which door would offer the best chance of escape.

It's a miracle Allan thought that OH managed to find the church in time for our wedding....anyway must be our anniversary son so she'd look great in that pretend crown....oh why all the alarms suddenly

Allan was lost; so were the Beefeaters who must have gone to the same map-reading school as his wife.

Still, the journey was made easier because the distance between London and Windsor was only one-eighth of an inch on the map so they will be setting off shortly

I merely mentioned something/someone who had been mentioned numerous times and could only be offensive if ones mind were of the gutter type :-D :-D

anyway....


Hang on Beefeaters this isn't Windsor castle it must be the Tower....oh Gawd what have we done now OH map reading skills need honing somewhat...maybe if I give her some of these cheap sparkling jewels from what must be the most security conscious gift shop I've ever seen thought Allan she might improve.......

After that little speed hump- back to the fable, and please remember your manners and don't put your elbows on the fable

in the deepest dungeons of that dark and dank edifice. At least the helicopter with its thermal imaging device would not be able to spot them and all the recent events there may have left enough residual infra-red to cause some uncertainty and confusion.

Mind you those Beefeaters, once they had finished their Yorkshire puddings, could prove a bit problematical.

Still it was worth trying. Allan and his wife could always disguise themselves as corgis.

Allan always did like model cars.

Oh dear!

Whatever did you post that could raise the ire of the RR'r, Caroline.

I hope that it wasn't anything to do with my possible 'Delicate' condition which I mentioned to you confidentially on a different thread :-| :-D :-D

Well, it proves that their is at least one reader of this thread, although not quite the active source of participation that you were seeking in your opening post :-D :-D

It's that angel again he thought...no hang on it's the police helicopter.....where's an escape route when you want it.....oh look Windsor castle might be able to hide in there.....

Allan was by now struggling to understand why his OH had bashed him with th map book.

But those lights were getting brighter....

(that’s about right - she was standing by the roadside.

What a spoilsport)

LOL can't even remember exactly what I wrote to be RR'd I think the young lady with the lovely bunch of coconuts not being shy........

Ouch thought Allan as he was struck with the map book.

My OH must have hit me harder than usual as I am seeing more coloured lights than expected.

What to do what to do......then as luck would have it he saw a slip road and quickly turned around......as he reentered the motorway who should be illegally hitchhiking but the young lady with the lovely bunch of coconuts....she gets around thought Allan not shy at all.......