General Chat

the local farrier?

Allan mishead and thought he said furrier. 'Strange ,' thought Allan 'why would this old geezer need a place that made fur coats?'

However, full of bluster, Allan said that he did and could guide him there, if they could have a lift in the trap.

How foolish of them, because a trap can have more than one meaning.............

Do you know the way to..................

No, the coconuts had long been discarded.

It was a pony and trap coming along the road, with a little old man sitting atop, cracking his whip. He was going at a fair old gallop, when he saw Allan and his Lady Wife, pulled up, and said.........................

. Was that because it also sounded like coconuts

Allan wondered why he could hear Gene Krupa.

Was it OH's tummy rumbling, or his heart beating in his chest?

OH did not look pleased.................

No, that portion of what passed for his mind was securely under lock and key.

Perhaps her old stomach troubles had returned.....

Allan wondered what could be troubling her.

Surely she hadn't developed the ability to read his thoughts about..........

When the sun came up it dawned on him.

What an idiot!

He was looking through the wrong end of the telescope.

His OH was much closer than she appeared, but even at the supposedly safe distance she appeared to be, she still had a wild manic look about her that did not bode well.

Allan decided to give painting another go. Having got his easel and paints he started to work on perspective.
Funny how small my O H seems when doIng this, thought Allan, She seems so far away...............

Ah, what memories!

Allan once recalled that in his younger days he painted his wife in the nude.

However he had nowhere to keep his brushes so he kept his socks on.

Allan really did fancy becoming an artist, so dove down into OH capacious bag, and fished out a smock, put on a beret at a jaunty angle, and sorted through the bottom of the bag for a palette and some brushes.

Looking at his reflection Allan was very pleased with himself, all he needed was some paints and he could take a new turn in his adventures. Now what would suit him best............matt or gloss?

Ah well, another of Allan's brilliant ideas bit the dust so it was back to the drawing board and possibly back to drawing the dole.

Perhaps with all that drawing he could have followed in his grandfather's footsteps (sans shoes) and become an artist

No thanks, thought Allan’s OH. I’m not going anywhere near those.

Well, thought Allan, I could always take the soles off and sell them as a nice fish, as for the heels i could use those as a medical curative.

But Allan, ever resourceful, wondered if he could refashion what was left of the shoes and make them into something else that was useful.

Allan could relax. There is no way that the original owner of the shoes would ever want them back.

To help him reach a decision he dragged out his trusty two-headed coin.

Either way he was bound to find the correct answer, although he had been known, in moments of extreme intoxication, to call out "Tails"

However, given the current world conditions, there was little to distinguish the current pandemic from American politics.

Both have caused major disruptions and the majority of the world's population just wish that they would both disappear as soon as possible.

Meanwhile there was a journey to continue.

Allan had walked many miles in another man's shoes.

Allan just hoped that he had walked far enough before the other man realised that his shoes were missing.

Allan once again stuck his nose over the parapet to see if it was safe to come out. He quickly sat down again to ponder which was worse, the COVID pandemic or American politics.

The voices were exhausted with blowing and blowing, and still the house hadn’t fallen down.







(Sorry, hope the insurance and remedial work is all on course)

It must be a very cunning and devious plan ;-) :-D :-D