General Chat

Meanwhile his wife was having the same reaction to a dodgy prawn that she had had to the dodgy oyster in Sydney.

Allan knew that for the next couple of days any journey undertaken would be dictated by the distance between public toilets.

He consulted his GPS (Global Puking System)

Allan gave him a Steely look and asked,"Is it called Tommy?"


"You know him?" came the reply.

"No, I haven't seen him", said Allan to the puzzled chap.

Calling out “have you seen the little white bull. It,s a brave little bull”

Slowly it began to dawn on Allan and OH, as they walked along the prom, and gazed at the crystal clear water. Allan was pleased he was wearing his ruby trainers, as many people looked at his feet......admiringly.

They decided to walk along to the town, to get their bearings, and also a plate of paella. Allan decided it would be novel to see a prawn in a blanket of rice, instead of throwing it on the barbie.

Suddenly a main with straw in his hair came running up to them......

Allan still hadn’t,t realised he had caught the ferry to Spain (Santander) and not the one to France.

And he was wearing ruby red trainers ..........olé

I deleted cos we were heading for Middle Earth :-D

'Suits you, that stripey jumper' said OH, shaking her head 'you could be a member of Bananarama'

'Na, na, hey, hey' said Allan, and pulled up the bike.


Allan gallantly offered OH a 'saddle' on his bike, but the look of disgust said it all.


'There is no place like home' thought Allan, as he clicked his ruby trainers.....

He braked abruptly as he realised that onion sellers did not sell onions in France but for some reason only plied their wares in England.

Removing his beret and wiping of his pencilled moustache he sheepishly rejoined his wife.

Her only comment was 'Baa!"

At this point he realized that the grape juice he'd had bottles of on the ferry wasn't grape juice.....he somehow climbed out of the hole mainly by standing on OH head. He came face to face with a man on a bike with onions around his neck....Onion Johnny...so it was true they do exist though Allan...I can do that....he grabbed a bike and string of onions and was off.......

It couldn't be the Dogger Bank as they were too far South.

But still the worker persisted in calling out 'Hola'

Allan wondered why until he fell into the hole that he had been warned about.

Perhaps this was the commencement of Allan's adventure in Wonderland

Well the wonder part was correct as he wondered what would happen next.

His mind also began to wander

It almost felt that they were being invited into a bank....

A beautiful girl in a frilly dress clicking together what liked baby sized coconut shells.

Allan realised that he hadn't brushed up on his schoolboy French for a few years, but in the back of his mind he didn't think Hola was a typical French greeting.

Nevertheless OH was searching in her copious handbag for a French/English dictionary, and a few Euros she always kept for such an occasion.

As they walked back down the gangplank, they noticed.....

Allan and his OH spent the journey brushing up on their French and deciding what cheeses they would buy.

They also discussed how they could get home from France or whether it would be best to return to Pompey.

"Hola" said the port worker on arrival.....

Allan noticed the ferries merrily going back and forth. The dear little foot passenger ferry, and the larger car ferry back to the Isle of Wight.

Allan was alerted to the fact that there was a ferry going to France. Why not? At least we would be heading in the right direction, and we could pick up some cheese, bread and cheap plonk on the way.

Never say die, Allan and OH boarded the ferry.....

and pulled out the note that the submarine captain had given to her containing his telephone number.

If they WERE to do anything with the 'Endeavour' a submarine would be an essential first step.

However, thought Allan, there is already a perfectly serviceable replica of the ship in Sydney at the National Maritime Museum. He had had ample time to examine it from the outside while his OH was on one of here exploratory tours of the local public toilets .

It was either the sub to Rhode Island or the sub to Sydney

Whichever way they went it looked like it had to be a Subway .

The only thing at the back of Allan's mind (apart from a lot of empty space) was why?

Just like some people like jumping from perfectly good plans and the using a parachute to land, why would you go into a boat that is actually designed to sink.

At the bottom is always a good place to start thought Allan but how to get there......OH peered into her copious bag and found.....

'Right' said Fred 'lets get this show on the road. We don't want to look Strange, do we? We want to look like a couple of Bright sparks. We don't want to be all of a Frazil (sorry) or we will have to Jake it all in.'

Allan decided, that indeed this ship knew its way home, so onwards and upwards, they would get this old bucket seaworthy. But where to start.....

.. is Allan waiting for Thursday to sort out Endeavour?

Allan was horrified, especially as OH had her feet either side of the crack!

Allan gallantly dragged her into his arms. 'Oh tisk' said OH, or something like that!

Gingerly they crept around the outside of the platform, and back down in the lift.

Safely back on firm ground, Allan was more determined than ever to get back home.

Allan looked around, and spotted a sign that read HMS Endeavour.

'I wonder if they still use Morse code on that vessel' Allan mused.

HMS Endeavour sounded right, and Allan seemed to remember something about a cook, but the full explanation somehow escaped him.

Without a backward glance, Allan and OH set off in search of the ship......

As he stood there the crack got bigger and bigger....