General Chat

So, being the gent he was he knew he had to keep his OH away from the old sweeties.
For we all know the state she gets into when she eats....

No hang on, it was a circles of drones, with a net strung between them.

Skilfully they scooped Allan up, and deposited him at the feet of OH and the monkey, outside a shack. It had obviously been a shop at one point, as the counter inside held decrepit packs of Spangles, Beech Nuts and Liquorice Whirls.

Allan was so hungry he eyed them up, and wondered if 30 year old sweeties would do him any harm.....

As with all things, and Allan's typical luck, this was no rescue aircraft that was coming into land, but a kettle of vultures

Something woke Allan up.....it was water....no...it was coconut milk....and looming over him was the nice young lady with the famous bunch of coconuts.......but he couldn't make out what she was saying......."runaway with me please???"........but no....he worked it out..."runway.......plane"....just as a large shadow encroached on him....

Allan was beginning to feel like a character out of the film 'Dune' and started humming the desert theme, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDAreivSjIY

He realised that, despite it being overcast for the last few days, he was beginning to suffer from the effects of too much sun.

At one point he even thought that he could see the sea and when combing see, or sea, with the word dune, the meaning is altered to dunce.

This was too much for Allan's fevered imagination and he passed out through sheer mental exhaustion.

Allan raced up a sand dune and had fun rolling down the other side. Only to find that his OH and her companion had gone around the same dune........

Not wishing to press his luck, Allan scarpered off in what he hoped was the opposite direction to his OH and her simian companion.

Walking around in the bottom of the capacious bag, Allan found some coppers, some silver and a few buttons.

'That will get the monkey off me back,' though Allan.

Surfacing from the bag, Allan saw the monkey had gone, and also OH. But where?

Allan needs to pay off the orangutan to save the last two steps to the ignominy of page 2.

and found some cash.

Well, at least he found two ape knees

(I've waited years to crack that one ;-))

The monkey was not amused, as it turned out to be the librarian beloved of all readers of the late Sir Terry Pratchett's books, who was in fact an orangutan and had a distinct aversion to being referred to as a monkey. This usually resulted in violence towards the utterer of such a vile comment.

Of course being this story it had to be a prank....it was a monkey of the no flying kind monking around with a stick. Allan did not take kindly to Monkeys these days and tried to catch it, but no luck. It jumped onto OH head and then into her bag. Allan looked inside the bag and couldn't see the monkey...then Allan had a thought...what if he jumped into the bag maybe it could magic him somewhere else...what harm could it do...so in he jumped.....

The shade from the circling birds gave some respite. Allan threw away his thinking cap and put his topi back on. OH's parasol was beginning to look a little singed with the heat.

Indeed, they had been walking in circles, but a new set of prints emerged from behind a rock, one full footprint with one small circle.

Now it could be someone pulling a prank, walking on their hands with a stick and a shoe, or it could be Long John Silver.....

After having been stuck in the desert for days Allan deciding to follow the birds in the sky as they must be heading somewhere useful.

"Ah, footprints" called out Allan " we are not alone".

His OH pointed out that the rather large birds were circling and that the footprints were their own...…..

Allan put on his thinking cap.

It was amazing what could be found in the bottom of that Tardis-like bag. It was just a pity that it didn't come complete with a set of world maps or a compass.

Still, being an old boy scout, Allan knew how to find the major directions from the position of the sun.

It was, maybe, a little unfortunate that it had been very overcast for the last few days and the sun definitely did not have its hat on.

Allan's wife was becoming fed up with all these changes whether it was clothing, moods or geographical locations.

She accused him of being temperamental.

'What do you mean!' shouted Allan

'Well,' replied his wife with a smug expression, 'You're half temper and half mental. Now what are you doing constructively to get us away from here, where ever here happens to be at the moment'

He changed into a striped cotton shirt, and started singing Surfin Safari.....

... as he is in the desert it would have to be Palm Wine.

After a couple of those........

:-D

Hang on it's not skiers.....they're sandboarding now that has to be easier wider platform...so sure no worries having a drink or two....but what to drink...

to get piste.

:-D :-D

Strangely enough camels trained or otherwise were hard enough to find but those with bricks even harder.....but then off on a distant sand dune Allan saw skiers!!...surely that can't be right thought Allan......hang on if there are skiers then there's Apres ski somewhere nearby......before you could say shaken not stirred Allan was off.......