General Chat

Hang on....when did Allan become a Matinee hero?? :-D
I always thought of him more as a Fabio rather than Indiana Jones but hey ho.....where were we....

How to get out of the Temple of Gloom....why find the exit of course.....looking in OH copious bag Allan found what he thought might be a map of the Temple....unfortunately it was a map of......

and her nose, on the sleeve of his jacket.

This was becoming something of a habit recently and had earned Allan the nickname of greensleeves

All they had to do now was find their way out of the Temple of Gloom, find a backer and turn their recent adventures into a film.

Their future would be secure

Nothing at all!

Indie Allan pulled up the collar of his jacket and strode manfully over to OH and swept her up in his arms.

'Home' he cried.

OH wiped his tears.................

what could possibly go wrong.....

Allan fished out a leather jacket, and pair of khaki trousers, beige shirt, a brown fedora and a bullwhip.

OH swooned. She had a secret fancy for Indie.

Now if they could only swipe the golden idol, sell it, they could get home....

As luck would have it....well Allan luck anyway..there was a temple nearby....the temple of doom......now how did that land up here thought Allan...and I'm not dressed correctly...he searched frantically in OH copious bag......

And threw up. Too much sun? Too much alcohol?

Whatever the cause Allan knew that his imagination was running amok.

Allan wondered if there was a Temple nearby, hopefully not as close as the apparition before him, where there was a man of the cloth, even if it was only a loin cloth, who could exorcise this sprite, although to be honest she looked as if she was in the process of exercising herself.

True Opium is a heady perfume, enough to distract anyone.

However, Allan's thoughts were taken on another course when a little girl started tap dancing along the edge of the dinghy, curls bouncing merrily.

Allan reached for a paper bag.....

Allan wasn't too sure about the name of the dinghy, 'The good ship lollipop'

He was hoping more for, 'The Good Ship Venus 'and he wasn't at all enamoured with that crewman with an albatross around his neck. He looked like a really ancient mariner.

Allan wished that his wife had not decided to wear her Opium perfume

Well Allan and OH were certainly Dancing In The Streets, or to be more accurate Dancing With The Captain.

'We cant move this hulk' Captain said 'but we can give you one of the lifeboats, and maybe you can find some other mug, erm, some other passing boat to give you a lift.'

Thus saying, Allan and OH settled themselves into the dinghy and were lowered over the side......

The glass turned out to be a crystal ball.

Allan wondered whether Merlin was now walking with a limp.

However, there was no future in having such thoughts unless he wanted to invoke the wrath of the mystical RR'r.

So, dressed like some rejects of the late 1960's early 1970's, Allan and his wife set out to search the ship for some signs of life

'Yep,' thought Allan. 'Goes very nicely with the kipper tie, and correspondence shoes. Now, what goes with it, a paisley shirt.'


OH, shuddered, but gamely clambered into a mini dress with op-art patterns along the hem. Who knows, Johnny Walker may be around.


Thinking OH meant whiskey, Allan held out a glass that he found at the bottom of the bag.

....and there they were, right in the bottom of the bag.... brown Crimpelene.

Allan tried them on.

'And now No 1, The Love Affair with Everlasting Love'......so what do you think Arnold?

'Woof, woof'

Allan had a funny feeling in his water, not only were they lost on the ocean, but also lost in time...................

Time to go into the bag and sort out a pair of flares........

Allan wondered why the reception from his cat's whisker detector, which, like MacGiver, he had managed to rig up from bits found in the bottom of the pedalo ad is wife's bag.

Then it struck him, or more correctly he struck it with an almighty clang.

The incredible hulk was in fact Radio Caroline

OH thought Allan said Picalilly and handed him a cheese sandwich.


Doggedly they trudged toward a pedalo, got in and began to pedal. Luckily the tide was going out, and it helped them along.


On the horizon was a great hulk sitting in the water. 'Must be the 3 mile limit' thought Allan.

Nearer and nearer came the pedalo to the ship, and Allan could see a flag flying from the mast, sadly it was not until they were along side they could see the Jolly Roger......

Oh, goody, thought Allan who had always wanted a little peccadillo.

His wife had to explain the difference. Allan was disappointed for two reasons, the first being that he was forever reading about peoples' peccadillos, the second reason was that as he now knew what the actual word was, it sounded like hard work.

He wondered how his OH's sea legs would cope, as they would be doing most of the pedalling.

Well the stick would not come back if he threw it, unlike a boomerang!

With this thought in mind, along with all the other jumbled thoughts, Allan decided that he and OH had faffed around for too long, and wanted, nay, needed to get home, as he was not too sure if he had left the iron on, or not.

Allan and OH went to the waters edge, and gazed out to the horizon, yes, just over there, give or take a few thousand miles, was home.

They turned, and to their surprise saw a sign that said

Pedaloes for Hire....

Just when Allan thought that he'd been handed a boomerang, it turned out to be a stick.

But that would be too easy. And we know life isn't like that...…. :-D