General Chat

Allan looked round in amazement.

He must have upset someone as even the voices in his head had stopped speaking to him and the multiple personalities had left for more desirable residences.

Allan argued with his wife that new brooms sweep clean.

She responded by throwing a coconut at his head (Allan had always been a little shy).

While these deep and forceful domestic discussions were taking place, the three witches, two besoms, Bear Grylls, Frank Spencer and the naked chef were all having an animated conversation amongst themselves as to the best was to cook the dead camel they had found, and how to use its hide so that the naked chef was no longer naked.

Worried about their place in this adventure the young besoms got free of the two witches and hid behind the third.

You can get rid of those, yelled Allan’s O H. Because being northern she knew that they weren’t, brooms ;-)

Before Allan had a chance to reply, witch number one sniggered and said suggestively, 'He could use my Coven to keep warm at anytime'

The other two immediately started belabouring her with their besoms.

Bare grills. Said Allan’s O H. Is he that Naked Chef.?

'Right then ladies!' said Bear Grylls, as he strode manfully across the sands.

The witches fell into a heap of blubbering girlish tittering.

He wasn't Chief Scout for nothing!

Snakes and lizards and rodent's gizzards are adequate substitutes.

Obviously the Satanic Sisterhood had never watched Survivor.

The soups were not up to the usual standard as there were no toads or newts on the island.

Trouble was to be found everywhere.

Allan had reasoned that if three witches were on a blasted heath were sufficient for Macbeth, then the same rule should apply to this blasted island.

Besides, they had a nice line in soups on the go

Only three witches?

Allan counted them......Hubble, Bubble, Toil but where was Trouble?

Where Allan went, Trouble was sure to follow...………….

When, suddenly, the sand erupted like a boil which had reached its head.

From the coruscating sand a wizened hag appeared, dressed from head to toe in black and wearing a black pointy hat.

Still seething, the sand ejected two more creatures of a similar ilk appeared.

Allan heaved a sigh of relief; at last the sand witches he ordered earlier had arrived.

Frank pulled his mac on, tightly belted it, and began singing Early One Morning....

So did Frank, who had come looking for his Betty.

Being Frank, he had got himself tangled up in the coconuts....
. Ooooooo Betty....
.

The lovely young lady with the coconuts....but she didn't want to dance she wanted to juggle coconuts...Allan always one to try something new decided to give it a go....unfortunately as the first coconut went up.....

hopping from foot to foot on the hot sand.

All they needed was another person to make up Wilson, Keppel and Betty.

Then, along came...…………...

:-D

I think the strange look on OH face might have been to do with the way Allan had started dancing along to his humming....if you can call it dancing...as he was....

As Allan had always misheard the lyrics and thought that they were 'If you like peeing in the larder'

As a retired Environmental Health Officer, he had an aversion to this song.

Hence the strange look on his wife's face.

.....then a song suddenly came into Allan mind...as they do at times...."If you like Pina coladas..." OH NO....now his day was doomed...he couldn't help himself before he knew it he was humming the song...and OH was looking towards him with a strange look on her face......

'Isn't that Maggie May?' she hissed

Allan retorted that he thought that Maggie May had been taken away.

'I'm sure it's Maggie May

'No,' said Allan, 'Maggie did and that's why she was taken away, so she could walk down Lime Street no more'

'That's a pity' his wife replied

'Don't even get me started on THAT song' snarled Allan.

Despite the romantic view, not all tropical Islands are idyllic, particularly when Allan and his wife were visiting.