General Chat

First of all he took out his best hankie and knotted it and put it on his head...then rolled up his trousers..got to look the part....then he found a football and had an urge to draw a face on it...then in the distant forest......

he noticed Lord Longford vigorously waving the Union Flag with delight at being found at last.

Allan had an idea to collect the ransom & glory for finding this notorious bedraggled fellow.

He spied a young woman with a lovely bunch of coconuts walking in his direction .
Allan wondered if she might be friendly enough to share her coconuts.

Wow thought Allan I've only been on the island for 5 mins and I'm seeing double.....wondering why Lord Longford and not Lord Lucan would be hiding here he decided to ask the nice young lady about her bunch of coconuts.....unfortunately before he could ask her if she'd like to share she morphed into........

the true spirit of Christmas giving to make him feel better when a cackle of chirpy chickens meandered along with their chocolate eggs, a true stocking filler especially made for the local llama farmers who were excitedly watching 'Football Focus' on TV.

"Boy" thought Allan "really must watch what I eat before bed crazy dreams".

The local Llama farmers looked at him in disdain as he was disturbing their football highlights. Allan decided it might be wise to ask for help elsewhere, never being particularly fond of Llama anyway. After a few minutes Allan thought it would have been wise to have taken his socks off before walking through all this sand. Sitting down he discovered it wasn't a rock he had sat on but a.......

...huge termite hill.....

Hmm thought Allan I'm sure it'll be fine I'm only going to be a minute.......well as all good travelers know there's nothing worse than ants in your pants.....or is there.....

Now that Allan's feeling antsy, he went for a dip in the sea to get rid of the little blighters,after wading in a few metres he came face to face with

Nemo!.....then he stood on a great big crab which latched itself onto his big toe......Allan yelled......

"Don't forget to order the turkey by 14th December for free delivery by Christmas by which time I will be half-starved to death".

Quite why he'd yelled that is known only to Allan it seems, you'd think he make some comment about feeling crabby or being shell shocked.....

so on that note Allan unlatched the crab throwing it away.....unfortunately it landed on....

a Desert Island to play some dower LP's of yore & bore us all with tales of Allan's do or die.

The lovely lady's coconuts ,Allan offered to remove it but

OH jumped in between them like a woman on a mission. At that point the crab decided to latch onto OH....Allan knew he should rescue her but he just felt more drawn towards....

Towards a cruise ship appearing on the horizon , how do we let it know we're here thought Allan, we need something big to wave, he turned to OH and said " off with the Bridget Jones " ........

OH looked confused....then embarrassed....then annoyed.....when Allan finally awoke he assumed OH must have knocked him for six....he swears the crab was laughing at him...or was it the big frilly knickers OH was waving in the air right now??...."hang on those aren't hers" thought Allan....."they're mine!!"

Eventually a small boat arrived from the ship, it seemed to be full of laughing sailors all pointing at Allan for some reason.......then he realized why......

.... they all looked very hungry. Allan turned to talk to his oh but found he alone.......

Was left to face the returning natives,and brave warrior that he was he met the boat coming ashore and asked is there a MacDonalds nearby ?.........

Allan laughed "It's always the stranger that gets asked directions no matter where you go hey lads?".....having established all were hungry they looked for more crabs to eat. Later as Allan entertained them with his travel woes, OH was to be found......