General Chat

Sooner hes paid off then you can go have a ball..


.but if it can be proved as I understand it ,any great loss will have an adverse effect on your being it can be ruled in your favour.......get your lawyer to earn his worth.

;-).

live life to the full....... :-D

Like a lot of other things, divorce rules in Scotland are different from those in England/Wales. Much of it is similar, but not everything. This link tells you the basics. Good luck!

http://www.morton-fraser.com/knowledge-hub/brief-guide-scottish-matrimonial-law

Dear Florence

Hello

I can't offer you any legal advice but can say this.

Hope very much that things continue to improve so that
you can live your life in peace and freedom.

There are many good things in life to be found
and you and your children deserve happiness.

Take gentle care of yourself
Love Elizabeth, EOS
xx

Andysmum

Thats a very interesting article especially about the pension .

Hopefully Florence will come on and read it.

Or could you send a copy of it to Florence via message Iin GR.

Sue, if Florence doesn't come back by tomorrow, then I'll do as you suggest. It's a good idea.

Thankyou for all your comments ladies and gents. Yes I read that article with interest.

I have no children under 18 so no financial settlements required there.

Hes agreed to buy me out and we both got our own lawyers who as the article states are working out the figures between them.

It would of been quicker and easier if I had no pension! That is the only thing in this sorry affair that is complicating things and taking awhile to sort.

I have a good friend who has wanted to leave her husband for some years and now she has a pay rise, she can financially support herself...But she has 3 pensions and guess what? her husband has none. So seeing what I'm going through has made her change her mind for the time being until she has taken some advice!

I know that come next summer, I shall be a free, independent woman...hard up but happy!

Thanks again for all you contributions and comments, very much appreciated

Florence
in the hebrides


:-) :-) :-)

Congratulations on making such a brave move, Florence. I hope you can get this pension problem sorted out soon and will continue to enjoy your freedom and peace of mind.

Lizxx

Good for you Florence! It will be well worth it to be completely free. I was in a similar position in the 90s with my first OH. I had a pension, but his attitude was 'I could be dead by then' so didn't think he should bother. Then he took out a very small pension (no discussion about it) that left me with nothing if he died, whereas he would inherit some of mine if I died and also get a lump sum. Then came the rumours about pension splitting on divorce, so I got things moving quickly and divorced him before any changes came in. :-) We were already separated by then, but there were always concerns hanging over me till we were divorced. The clouds all lifted then. I wish you all the best for the future. :-)

Thankyou Liz and Ann for your kind wishes.

I will be so glad to get back into the "real world" eventually once all is settled. Since I moved in Aug, Ive not had one visitor except for my daughter who flits back and forth. Son says ive wrecked his life! Another story for another day!

Small communities will always stick by their own even if they have done wrong and I'm finding that out but it shows where my real friends are!

At least this xmas, there will be no grumbles about xmas tree and decorations etc(he hated it), I get to have a drink instead of being taxi driver for mil and can watch every soap I want on tv..so there are plenty of positives to being on my own this year....

Glad Ann it all worked out for you

Florence
in the hebrides

:-) :-) :-) :-)

Just thought I would share some good news re my pension!
Apparently my ex is not entitled to a penny as it was a non contributory pension I had long before I married and then it was frozen.

Lawyer has now confirmed it cannot be considered as matrimonial property.

Unfortunately though, I am still in limbo as he refused to sell and now it has gone to court.There is a timetable to stick to so heres hoping he will now come to his senses and let the house sell.

At least now I will walk away with some money to help me start fresh elsewhere.
it will still take months though but will be worth it in the end.

Daughter has got her first job and went away today.Its seasonal until end of October but glad she is away from everything.

Florence
in the hebrides :-) :-)

Florence,so good to hear he can't get his little mitts on your pension. :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D



And I hope it won't be long before the house is sold and you get every penny that you need.

Good Luck in your New life and live it to the fullest after everything is sorted.

You certainly deserve your happiness. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3


Massive hugs

That’s good news, Florence.

Shame about the house but if your children are still living at the matrimonial home (or are using it as their home address) the courts may not pressure him to sell at this stage.

Aw thanks sue :-D :-D :-D

The lawyer has ordered him to sell. Both children over 18 so they don't actually come into the equation.
Son is working but chooses to stay there but he could afford to rent somewhere himself, or he could come and share my rented house..

I hate being in limbo but it wont be forever...summer is a good time for people buying up here so fingers crossed.

Florence
in the hebrides :-)

There was absolutely no way that I was going to allow my ex a half share of future income or pension. After the best part of a year living on air and a teacher's pay she was more than happy to take a one off lump sum payment. I made arrangements for the kids via a time limited trust.

Yep she went for it. Now, 25 years later, I can see what a great deal it was though it left me very short of readies at the time and a founder member of the sofa surfers..

What is it they say ? Marry in haste ....

Many a true word spoken in jest..... and repent at suppertime

Update re pension!
After many months since I last posted, Im still no further to being divorced.
Unfortunately my lawyer came to see me a few weeks ago to deliver the bad news that my ex is entitled under a new law to half my 2 pensions!!!
So after doing the sums etc, the offer is that he either gives me 20k and I sign the house over to him or he has to sell the house and give me 20k.

Either way that's all I get for the last 27 years. After taking off my lawyers fees of nearly 8k I shall be left with 12k.
I will never be able to buy another property and so renting for the rest of my life is daunting. my rent is at present is £550 a month plus c tx and bills. I shall be retired in a few years so not sure what would happen then without much income.

His solicitor has been dragging this out for the last 2 1/2 years so no wonder im not well.

He is really just laughing at me as he said to his mother, ill make sure she ends up with nothing!

He wont and cant move on, he still asks daughter when I will be in town so he wont see me!! However as I cant drive im rarely out of the house.

So anyone else in my position or thinking of divorce, just remember if you have pensions and ur hubby doesn't, he will def get half of yours.

The law is a disgrace grrr

Florence in the hebrides

Pardon my ignorance but what happens with a same sex marriage, where it is wife and wife or husband and husband?

Zzzzzzz it will be the same because its the person you are married to whether same sex or other.
Sorry I was stating it from my own relationship, didn't mean to cause offence to anyone in a same sex marriage...

When you are married, everything becomes matrimonial property, that includes property, bank accounts, pensions and any other investments you have.

Thankfully as my parents are still alive, what they have willed me doesn't come into it unless i died before them ,then that could be a problem if I haven't made a will, which I have now.

if I hadn't made a will and I died, then until i'm divorced, technically he is my next of kin but I sorted that one recently before I went into hospital incase anything happened.

Florence in the hebrides

Florence61, I am not offended at all but I have friends and family in same sex marriages and just wondered, thank you for the clarification and I hope you get on good with your divorce. X.

I am so sad at your predicament, pensions and the law regarding ex partners (married or not) is an absolute minefield.

Without divulging too much personal info a late close rellie's ex wife claimed against his private pensions - the provision for a percentage which could be assigned to surviving spouse/dependents. She lost!!! Her personal fortune runs into some £millions so not exactly as if she needed it.

The laws need reviewing because not only are there too many malicious claims, many contributors simply do not know their hard earned investments/pensions can be 'stolen' by parties who should no longer have any financial claim against them.

I really hope you can get your life back on track.

Sue x