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The Bland Thread

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 23 Sep 2016 00:15

Hmmm! was thinking of blend a broad,

roadside entertainment??


Allan

Allan Report 22 Sep 2016 23:24

You're thinking of the Monkey Tea, Blook Bland, Bob

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 22 Sep 2016 23:10

is Bland,

the new Blonde?

Allan

Allan Report 22 Sep 2016 23:08


The Hag is astride,
This night for to ride,
The devil and she together;
Through thick and through thin,
Now out, and then in,
Though ne'er so foul be the weather.

A thorn or a bur
She takes for a spur;
With a lash of a bramble she rides now,
Through brakes and through briars,
O'er ditches and mires,
She follows the spirit that guides now.

No beast, for his food,
Dares now range the wood,
But hush'd in his lair he lies lurking;
While mischiefs, by these,
On land and on seas,
At noon of night are a-working.

The storm will arise,
And trouble the skies
This night; and, more for (the wonder),
The ghost from the tomb
Affrighted shall come,
Call'd out by the clap of the thunder.


Robert Herrick

GeordiePride

GeordiePride Report 22 Sep 2016 21:52

I've decided to change my Bland of Soap Powder.


GP

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 22 Sep 2016 19:58

worried now about where this is going ;-)

Caroline

Caroline Report 22 Sep 2016 18:32

Would that weapon be a blanderbust and where was it hidden !!

JoyLouise

JoyLouise Report 22 Sep 2016 16:01

When you pull out your gun, do you blandish your weapon? :-0

Only clean, bland new answers, please. :-D

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 22 Sep 2016 14:01

Sad innit?
No Orchids, for Miss Blandish........

JemimaFawr

JemimaFawr Report 21 Sep 2016 21:24

BLAND IS BACK ;-) :-D :-D

My Kent Family History Holiday was much too blandless to post here! :-D

So I am now blandfully ensconced in my bland humble abode, and so now free to bore the pants off you all! ;-) ;-) :-D :-D :-D

Dermot

Dermot Report 21 Sep 2016 10:34

Begorrah - I suffer from bland foreign accent syndrome. Check me out on Weibo.

Allan

Allan Report 21 Sep 2016 10:29

Medeira


She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice,
She was fair, she was sweet seventeen.
He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice,
He was base, he was bad, he was mean.

He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat,
To view his collection of stamps.
And he said as he hastened to put out the cat,
The wine, his cigar and the lamps:

"Have some Madeira, m'dear,
You really have nothing to fear.
I'm not trying to tempt you, that wouldn't be right,
You shouldn't drink spirits at this time of night."

"Have some Madeira, m'dear,
It's a-very much nicer than beer.
I don't care for sherry, one cannot drink stout,
And port is a wine I can well do without,
It's simply a case of 'chacun à son goût',
Have some Madeira, m'dear!"

Unaware of the wiles of the snake in the grass,
Of the fate of the maiden who topes.
She lowered her standards by raising her glass,
Her courage, her eyes, and his hopes.

She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it, she did,
He quietly refilled it again.
And he said as he secretly carved one more notch,
On the butt of his gold-handled cane:

"Have some Madeira, m'dear,
I've got a small cask of it here.
And once it's been opened, you know it won't keep,
Do finish it up, it will help you to sleep."

"Have some Madeira, m'dear,
It's a-really an excellent year.
Now, if it were gin, you'd be wrong to say 'yes',
The evil gin does would be hard to assess,
(Besides, it's inclined to affect me prowess),
Have some Madeira, m'dear!"

Then there flashed through her mind what her mother had said,
With her antepenultimate breath:
"Oh my child, should you look on the wine that is red,
Be prepared for a fate worse than death!"

She let go her glass with a shrill little cry,
(Ow)
Crash! Tinkle! It fell to the floor.
When he asked, "What in heaven?", she made no reply,
Up her mind, and a dash for the door.

"Have some Madeira, m'dear...",
Rang out down the street, loud and clear.
A tremulous cry that was filled with despair,
As she paused to take breath in the cool midnight air.

"Have some Madeira, m'dear...",
The words seemed to ring in her ear.

Until the next morning, she woke up in bed,
With a smile on her lips, and an ache in her head...

And a beard in her earhole that tickled and said:
"Have some Madeira, m'dear! Ha ha ha..."

·

Barbra

Barbra Report 21 Sep 2016 09:35

Blandy`s Madeira Duke of Clarence .75cl .pk of six £116.99.anyone ordering ?? :-D :-D

Allan

Allan Report 20 Sep 2016 23:04

Yep.....good old Dot ;-) :-D :-D

JoyLouise

JoyLouise Report 20 Sep 2016 22:23

Dorothy McKellar if I remember rightly. :-)

I have it in a book somewhere from years ago.

What am I saying? Everything I have is from years ago. :-D

Allan

Allan Report 20 Sep 2016 21:58

I love a sunburnt country,
A bland of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror
The wide brown bland for me!

Allan

Allan Report 20 Sep 2016 21:53

Probably the Australian Version of Blandety Bland, hosted by Graham Kennedy

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0244899/

JoyLouise

JoyLouise Report 20 Sep 2016 14:17

Quiz game ... Blandety Bland. Graeme/Graham someone used to chair it.

OMG this is the quiz cos I can neither recall his surname nor the country it was televised in.

I am certain that some of you will remember it.

Completely bland leading the bland now. :-0

Barbra

Barbra Report 20 Sep 2016 13:21

Way down this thread ,well My hair isn't coloured just helped with a few strands of bland .Honest . :-D :-D :-P

Allan

Allan Report 18 Sep 2016 23:21

I could get them to sing "The Bland Played Waltzing Matilda"