General Chat

I wasn't aware that Mr Trump had also joined the debate on that other thread ;-)

I believe your timing is amazing Allan as always.....

"Go Compare!"

:-D :-D :-D

This thread is c**p anyway :-P :-D :-D

All I can say is poo to you! :-D

A wee bit ;-)

:-D :-D :-D

Betty (elderly cat) has decided her litter tray is for wee only.
The floor next to it is 'best' for No. 2's.
She has access to the garden, but prefers to pretend she's an 'indoor' cat. :-| :-|

.....or is that too contentious?

I see that it is once again time to bring this thread to the fore, for all those who are weary and reported :-D

Sic Transit Gloria Mundi



Roughly translated; Our Gloria threw up in the bus on Monday

Honi Soit Qui Mal y Pense

For any given value of 'mucky' ;-) :-D :-D :-D

Ah but that other often quoted Northern expression is "where there's muck there's brass" so this is a rich place if everything RR is mucky :-)

Obviously time to resurrect this Thread.

Some, well one, of the current threads is a constant source of amusement with occasional outbursts of laughter.

As an old Northern expression goes 'there's nowt so queer as folk'

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

:-D :-D

:-D :-D

I was in a café the other day and I said to the waitress “ Can you tell me about the menu please “ .

She haughtily replied “ It's none of your business about the men I please “

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken wall at 10 Downing Street ; one from London , another from Bristol and the third, Liverpool ..

They go with a government official to examine the wall.

The London contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about £900: £400 for materials, £400 for my crew and £100 profit for me.'

The Bristol contractor also does some measuring and figuring, and then says, 'I can do this job for £700: £300 for materials, £300 for my crew and £100 profit for me.'

The Liverpool contractor doesn't measure or figure but leans over to the Government official and whispers, "£2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'

The Liverpool contractor whispers back, '£1000 for me, £1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Bristol to fix the wall.'

'Done!' replies the government official.

And that friends, ...... is how it all works.



and on the other hand....


Borrowed...

And woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet,but she didn't want to spend a fortune.
Well,' said the clerk, 'I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to give blow jobs!'
“Blow jobs!' the woman replied.
“It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month,' the clerk;said.
The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...No more blow jobs for her! She bought the frog. When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely sceptical and laughed it off! ....
The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again. In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds.
She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cook books.
“What are you two doing at this hour?' she asked........
The husband replied, 'If I can teach this frog to cook.......you're gone.

Little Johnny returns again.
The teacher returned to work, following time off with stress after her most recent Little Johnny word description, she spent time thinking of a word that could only work one way and now, spirit up, says to the class “OK, can someone tell me a sentence that uses the word exceptional”
Little Johnny’s hand stays down, “He’s thinking, he’s thinking, I’ve beaten him,” she thinks to herself and calls to Susan who already had her hand up to give her sentence.
“Well miss, the weatherman said this spring will be exceptionally cold”
“Good try Susan but that’s the word exceptionally, not exceptional. Stuart you…” with a growing sense of dread she notices Johnny put his hand up “.. tell us how you have heard the word EXCEPTIONAL used” emphasising the word loudly
the teacher thinks with fading anticipation of what could soon be said ‘ what has he got, how, can’t be possible’ she thinks to herself, suddenly feeling better that she was worrying for no reason.
“Miss, you said that no one can have time off except if they are sick”
“ Sorry Stuart, that is completely wrong, think it through” she says starting to panic -now the realisation hits that the only hand up is Johnny’s – and he’s jumping up and down to be asked, ‘ OK, you spend 3 weeks stress leave and worked out that this word can’t be misused, you’ve got to hear him as he must get this right at last’ the teacher thinks to herself,
“Ok Johnny, how do you see the word E X C E P T I O N A L” she barks the letters out one by one, “ used”
“I overheard my sister talking to her friend the day before Valentine's day" says Little Johnny continuing " they were discussing my sister’s new boyfriend and how he had promised to get her a big bottle of smelly tomorrow, she said "if it was anything except Channel, he wasn’t getting in her knickers”
The teacher was led away crying

I often Ramble, Dermot, or so I've been told :-(