General Chat

Medeira


She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice,
She was fair, she was sweet seventeen.
He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice,
He was base, he was bad, he was mean.

He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat,
To view his collection of stamps.
And he said as he hastened to put out the cat,
The wine, his cigar and the lamps:

"Have some Madeira, m'dear,
You really have nothing to fear.
I'm not trying to tempt you, that wouldn't be right,
You shouldn't drink spirits at this time of night."

"Have some Madeira, m'dear,
It's a-very much nicer than beer.
I don't care for sherry, one cannot drink stout,
And port is a wine I can well do without,
It's simply a case of 'chacun à son goût',
Have some Madeira, m'dear!"

Unaware of the wiles of the snake in the grass,
Of the fate of the maiden who topes.
She lowered her standards by raising her glass,
Her courage, her eyes, and his hopes.

She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it, she did,
He quietly refilled it again.
And he said as he secretly carved one more notch,
On the butt of his gold-handled cane:

"Have some Madeira, m'dear,
I've got a small cask of it here.
And once it's been opened, you know it won't keep,
Do finish it up, it will help you to sleep."

"Have some Madeira, m'dear,
It's a-really an excellent year.
Now, if it were gin, you'd be wrong to say 'yes',
The evil gin does would be hard to assess,
(Besides, it's inclined to affect me prowess),
Have some Madeira, m'dear!"

Then there flashed through her mind what her mother had said,
With her antepenultimate breath:
"Oh my child, should you look on the wine that is red,
Be prepared for a fate worse than death!"

She let go her glass with a shrill little cry,
(Ow)
Crash! Tinkle! It fell to the floor.
When he asked, "What in heaven?", she made no reply,
Up her mind, and a dash for the door.

"Have some Madeira, m'dear...",
Rang out down the street, loud and clear.
A tremulous cry that was filled with despair,
As she paused to take breath in the cool midnight air.

"Have some Madeira, m'dear...",
The words seemed to ring in her ear.

Until the next morning, she woke up in bed,
With a smile on her lips, and an ache in her head...

And a beard in her earhole that tickled and said:
"Have some Madeira, m'dear! Ha ha ha..."

·

Begorrah - I suffer from bland foreign accent syndrome. Check me out on Weibo.

BLAND IS BACK ;-) :-D :-D

My Kent Family History Holiday was much too blandless to post here! :-D

So I am now blandfully ensconced in my bland humble abode, and so now free to bore the pants off you all! ;-) ;-) :-D :-D :-D

Sad innit?
No Orchids, for Miss Blandish........

When you pull out your gun, do you blandish your weapon? :-0

Only clean, bland new answers, please. :-D

Would that weapon be a blanderbust and where was it hidden !!

worried now about where this is going ;-)

I've decided to change my Bland of Soap Powder.


GP

The Hag is astride,
This night for to ride,
The devil and she together;
Through thick and through thin,
Now out, and then in,
Though ne'er so foul be the weather.

A thorn or a bur
She takes for a spur;
With a lash of a bramble she rides now,
Through brakes and through briars,
O'er ditches and mires,
She follows the spirit that guides now.

No beast, for his food,
Dares now range the wood,
But hush'd in his lair he lies lurking;
While mischiefs, by these,
On land and on seas,
At noon of night are a-working.

The storm will arise,
And trouble the skies
This night; and, more for (the wonder),
The ghost from the tomb
Affrighted shall come,
Call'd out by the clap of the thunder.


Robert Herrick

is Bland,

the new Blonde?

You're thinking of the Monkey Tea, Blook Bland, Bob

Hmmm! was thinking of blend a broad,

roadside entertainment??

I like Blandston pickles!!

talking of which.........anyone heard of Russel Bland lately?

He succumbed to a surfeit of blandy.

"We few, we happy few, we bland of brothers;"

Ann I like a beef sandwich .guess what I love with it blandston pickle yummy ~~~ Allan :-D ;-)

Bet you would like it if it was served by Marlon Blando.

Not really, he'd be a bit on the nose, now :-0

I knew an atomic scientist who had 'ahem' a social disease, as they used to be coyly referred to in the past.

But, with the appropriate treatment he came out with a nuclear weapon