General Chat

Agree Ann the story has gone on to long .sort her out !!

how ridiculous is the Jimmy/Nicola/Bernice saga!!!

Think its all a bit daft at the moment .just saw some of Fridays episode (.Childish ) :-(

Well, I can't say that I have been moved to 'tears' by any soap but tonight's episode was so emotional

Seeing things through Ashley' eyes was very moving, sad and frightening

Is it the end for Ashley am in tears after tonight episode so well played but so fighting if you've never been close to the illness at how fast it can creep up and take a hold and how the whole family suffers. My dad cousin has just died and she was suffering from it. I congratulate Emmadale for telling this story in such a sensitive way

It was emotional and so hard to watch, it was almost like a close friend or a family member. So well acted and so cleverly crafted. And so frightening.

very emotional tonight .poor Ashley .well acted & so like real life made me cry .Barbra

My 95 year old FIL died this year and had both vascular dementia and Alzheimers. We felt lucky that he still recognised us till the end. The pattern of decline was similar to Ashley and he had many falls and trips to hospital that we later realised were small strokes and he worsened after each one. While we were waiting for him to be diagnosed, it was heartbreaking for him to have to go into residential care when MIL went into hospital and he was furious like we'd never seen as he thought he was fine and should be at home caring for his wife. Visiting him and seeing other poor souls was upsetting too as one would come and take your arm and ask if you'd come to take him home.

The worst thing was some of the 'expert' advice we were given like taking him to see his wife in hospital with terminal cancer. We didn't think he would be able to cope with it and were right as it happened. It made him terribly distraught and cry for days, till he was put on antidepressants. We were also 'advised' to take family photos for him to have in his room. I was already planning to do that at some future date when I felt he was settled, but we took the advice and that upset him so much he turned the photos face down on his drawers and that's how they stayed till he died. When it came to his wife's death and funeral, we followed our own instincts and didn't even tell him. He very rarely mentioned his wife by that point so we thought where was the kindness in upsetting him all over again? You know your family better than the experts.

On a positive note, once he settled in the home after a few weeks he loved it there. He was a naturally cheerful and friendly person and the staff and other residents loved him and he was cared for very well right to the end. He would chat to us for ages, living more and more in the past when he lived at his mother's house and his times in his RAF days during the war and we would just go along with it all and ask questions. There is nothing to be gained by trying to correct someone with a faulty brain!

Ashley's acting is very good, showing the mind swinging from one thing to another and with startling lucidity at times and the faulty recall and frustration with things. It will be interesting to see how the progress of his illness is portrayed and the sensitive way it is being done will give people insight into the disease.

My FinL died a month ago now - he was 94 & he had dementia. Husband was going to watch Emmerdale but couldn't at the end.

We were trying to work out when it really started to affect FinL. It wasn't until we saw some photos we noticed him changing very slightly over the last 5 years. The last time i saw him I really would not have thought it was the same man, His appearance changed so much.

We narrowed it down to the day they told him his best friend was dying & he went for a long walk on his own & got lost in a town he knew.. From that day on he was slowly shutting down.

He had a very good day last November & was discussing all his holiday's & cars & after we left he asked his wife if he was losing his mind.

This time last year he could just about remember who we were & our names, by January he only knew us because mum told him we were visiting, as we left we heard him say "who were they"

MinL was setting her alarm every 2 hours during the nigh to check on him & she was making herself so ill.

From January he had no end of infections & was in & out of hospital, by September they said he needed 24 hour nursing & 92 year old MinL could not manage. After his last brain scan the hospital told us his brain had shrunk so much in the last 3 months he would be luck to still be here at Christmas & he needed full time care. So we had to move him to a Nursing home.

The doctor said she gave him a 10 days at the most. For the first time in years the whole family were in the same place at the same time & we all came to see him that weekend (at different times) .

He was only there 5 days.

MinL is now feeling guilty she had to put him in a home & she broke her promise he could die at home.

Very Sad Story as on here family members have seen love ones die .My late Dad he passed away 2005 .we could see a change in him & on holiday with us he seemed fine then after we got home summer of 2005 he went out in his car & got lost & couldn't find his way home ..its an awful illness & takes the person we love into their own world I.am interested to see how this story unfolds as it affects the family ..think The Writers are doing research & Putting a sad story in a positive way Barbra

I can understand how your MIL feels Tabitha. We had to get FIL into a home quickly when MIL was rushed into hospital. My hubby slept in a chair at their house and soon realised his father wasn't safe to be left. Their house had all adaptations for the disabled so he wouldn't have been safe at our place, even if we could have stayed with him all the time. His dementia had partly been masked by the fact MIL had always done everything for him throughout his life, even pour his tea and had dealt with the finances and they went everywhere together. He had recently got lost in the small town where they had always lived, but we didn't realise how bad things really were.

Your MIL must still be getting over the strain of it all, I know we are, and she has the loss of her husband on top so she must be kind to herself and try not to fret, as what she did was the right thing to do. MIL and FIL always said they never wanted to go in a home, but all my hubby and I have promised is that we will do what is best for each other in the future. Caring for someone with dementia is not for cissies and can become an impossible task.

Thank you Ann - we have both been through it.

MinL is trying to enjoy Christmas & get on with things - she always did everything for him. I think she is rather lost now just looking after herself.

Your conversation sounds like a mirror image of the life they had.

She now has a large cushion with FinL's photo on it & cuddles him to her when she needs to . It gives her comfort but just seeing a head only on a cushion freaks us out. Would be different if it was head & shoulders & a bit of background.

Look forward to hearing how the story on Emmerdale goes as i dont get to see it.

well Lachlan is a little rat - let's hope his next plan - presumably to cut himself with the razor blade, is a success!! with a mother like Chrissie though it's no wonder he's a screwball, and his grandfather isn't much better either - a very dysfunctional family

Lachlan is such a poor actor .& his Mother .They don't follow stories up .what.s happened to Emma about James death .the village is dysfunctional Ann not just White family :-)

Barbra I have a feeling that the follow up to James death will come eventually.

Tried to put post up last night but my comp wouldn't behave .The story line about Debbie.s return it was like a Benny Hill farce .& Charity what can you say such a lady :-)

But I was pleased to see they one the serial drama award last night at the N TV awards. The drug, dementia and child abuse lines have been very good.

Yes Agree some of the stories are well thought out & especially Ashley & family .its so sad how it affects all family & friends .the person with dementia doesn't really understand there in a world of their own ..

Who do you think donated the £20 grand to Sarah's fund

My guess is Andy or Aaron :-D

I couldn't think who it could be. Has Andy been told yet? I thought Aaron had spent his money on a house.