General Chat

I so Agree Sharron :-D :-D

Do you think we should have a seperate board, like a bit of a shrine board, that memorial threads could go on.

I still like to visit the thread I posted when Fred died and quite like to find it in a sort of virtual grave site.

It took them 3 days - plus the weekend - to remove the page of spam/adverts on the 'Success Stories' board, so I shouldn't hold your breath. :-|

I'm left wondering how many people work at GR and what exactly they do all day - they have had plenty of time to do what was asked

Well I hope that GR returns their toys and puts the posts back

Glitter, Having read this thread, I expect it was someone throwing their toys out of the pram :-(

Ridiculous what this thread has turned into - a bit of a brawl really.

There was nothing wrong with the opening post so not got a clue why someone should have reported it. Surely there is nothing in the T&C's to get it removed. Seen a lot worse posted on this board.

Once again anonymous reporting is causing upset.

and I didn't report it either

I wanted Shirley to remove it herself :-( :-(

Oh well, Shirley will now not be able to delete her thread even if she wants to. I hope I see Shirley out and about soon, just to let her know we all don't think of her as a vulture :-(

Well she can't remove it now.

it would still be nice if she did remove it Lynda

As for T&C it has caused upset to others :-D :-D

I do empathise with her over her husband been sick and I do wish him well

Joy, Shirley IS a VERY nice lady, her husband has memory problems, perhaps Shirley is dealing with her everyday life, and not visited GR today, I'm sure GR isn't on the top of her priority list, and maybe she thinks why should she remove the thread, she hasn't breached any guidelines.

I think someone on here needs bereavement counselling. It is depressing for newbies and old members alike to come on to chat board and continually see the deaths of previous members.

If Shirley is a nice person
Surely she would of removed this thread
When she realised it had upset some people

If anybody wants to have BCs thread removed
go quietly to GR and ask them

just don't rub it into peoples faces then complain when they get upset :-( :-(

Hayley, now it's you who is being disrepectful, I am no vulture, and resent being called one.

Joy if Jean thought a sticky about her was up for longer than a fortnight, she would be mortified, I know that for a fact

Shirley's post isn't direspectful in any way, nor are any of the replies, Shirley merely asked what others thought, she didn't go to GR behind anyone's back, she asked for opinions. I've read her post more than once, and cannot see any malice in it at all.

Looks I made a wrong choice by joining yesterday, but won't llet that spoil my visit.

Lynda if they put the same thread up about Jean or Daff
I would of been equally upset - it was insensitive
when people are hurting still
over the loss of a person who was loved by others

If People had quietly asked GR to unpin it then that would of been fine
the problem isn't the unpinning
But the doing of a thread about it
I find that hurtful and In fact nasty :-( :-(

I am absolutely stunned.

The first few members to post on this thread went to great lengths to stress that they had no intention of being disrespectful.

What then ensued was, in my opinion, completely and utterly disrespectful.

This is a public board/site and as such we should all be mindful that although deceased members may be greatly admired or respected, some things should, after time, be continued in private as there will be a percentage of members who have no idea who these former members are and as such could not really care less.

If a thread is unpinned and yet members wish to continue adding to it, then it will, quite obviously, remain at the top of the board. If, on the other hand, nobody adds to it then it will slowly move down the board. If you want a thread to remain at the top, then add to it. If you merely want to read it as part of the grieving process or as some sort of cathartic purging then all you have to do is bookmark it.

New members who do not know deceased former members couldn't possibly have an interest in reading condolences etc etc about somebody they do not know and never will. Also, I have spoken to some who feel rather uncomfortable at the number of obituary/condolence/bereavement threads for people they do not know and so we should respect their feelings too.

Sylvia's memoriam board is not a bad idea and would provide a place for people to visit who wish to remember or pay respects - their choice.

Post Scriptum: before anybody jumps on me, please read what I have said above very carefully.

Having just rejoined, after a few months away, I looked through a few threads, this being one of them, and can't work out why on earth anyone could think that Shirley's request was in anyway disrespectful to anyone, Shirley asked for opinions about her thoughts, and looking through many of the replies, she was thinking what others thought.
I agree with Shirley, I'm not disrespectful, just think a thread that is stickied for months, has served it's purpose. If I thought by sticking a thread for months on end meant you respected someone more, then I'd of personally asked for the thread announcing the death of lovely Jean Durant, to be stuck on the top of the board for ever.
We all lose loved ones, and we grieve in all sorts of ways. We move on, or we don't, but we mustn't expect everyone to mourn forever, even if we do.

The chat board needs more topics, not more stickied threads.

Shirley is a lovely person, I've met her on lot's of occasions, I hope she isn't mortified when she reads this thread, her request was said in the most respectful way, she doesn't deserved to be shouted down for her thoughts.

Memoriam board

Good suggestion Cynthia

Wonder if GR would consider it

Personally, I agree with Shirley and the others who feel that the time has come to unpin some of the bereavement threads. It would be helpful if GR stated a time limit where these threads would remain or, perhaps, have an In Memoriam board for former members.


It is now twelve months since I posted a notice to say that our beloved Jonesey had died, but I don't think it would have been appropriate or fitting to have maintained my thread for longer than 2-3 weeks.


In church we remember the departed for one, maybe two weeks in the public prayers and then they are removed. If we didn't remove the names, we would have a list which would take up the whole service and there would be no time for worship. Names can be added to the Book of Remembrance which can be viewed separately any time. There is also an annual service held each All Saints Day where the names of those who have died during the past twelve months are read out.


I have held many people's hands and seen the despair in many people's faces as they have grieved for a loved one but, the time comes when one must move gently on. Removing a name from a board does not mean that the person is in anyway forgotten to those who loved them.


Cx :-)