General Chat

The following week the Blisters met once again to continue their voyage across the Sea of Mayhem to the Land of Moral Conformity.

The usual proceedings having been observed, the Big Blister was updated on the various reports

"Post removed"

"Thread Gone"

"The jury's still out"

He reached the Little Blister, who reported that the post had been re-instated.

The Big Blister clutched his chest, and his face, usually a sallowy grey colour took on the appearance of an over ripe plum

"Whaa...." croaked the Big Blister, when he was finally able to breathe, "How can this be so?"

The Little Blister just shrugged, a movement which under any other circumstances, would have incurred the full wrath of the Big Blister.

"What is the poster's name?"

"Someone calling herself woodentop"

"Just the name, laddie, I'm not interested in sex"

The Blistren maintained a respectful, but interested silence.

"Blister Keeper of the Records, do we know of this poster? Have we before had a problem?"

The Keeper of the Records, who had just finished sharing a rather racy limerick with the Keeper of the Accounts, didn't so much pour through the record as dribble. "No Big Blister, it would appear not so"

Mutilation of the English language is a very infectious condition.

The Big Blister once more turned his attention to the Little Blister.

"Report it again! This post mightily offends me"

"But Big Blister, it appears to be from a doting Granny to one of her...."

"Enough!" shouted the Big Blister, "All that matters is that I am offended. Do I not sit in the Big Chair? Am not I for the ensuing year the arbiter of all that is profane, offensive or even mildly mucky? Report it"

As on the previous occasion, the Little Blister did as instructed, although this time mentally promising himself that this would be his last appearance at the hall, and as soon as he got back home the pinny was going straight back into his Mum's kitchen

Society Sistren whole-heartedly agree, and are awaiting the next installment Big Blister ;-)

:-D :-D :-D :-D

By command of the Almighty Overlord and his true followers I hereby return the Sword of Retribution into the safe hands of Big Blister to be used only in cases of severe conflict with none believers of our society of secrets. ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) :-D :-D

GP

Imagine, an obese figure huddled over a laptop, face illuminated by the glow of the screen.. eyes glistening and lips hissing like a Cobra ready to strike, surrounded by mountains of discarded takeaway wrappers and pizza dishes, half-empty semi-crushed cans of C.......er fizzy over sugared drinks, wearing astronauts' underwear , painstakingly awaiting a miscreants unguarded posting........suddenly crying with glee ""AHA Gotcha""..........and joyfully pressing on the Report button...........

and resting in a post orgasmic aura of satisfaction......

the RR'r strikes........as fast as a snake in the grass(er not the smoking variety)

Absolutely, Scozz:-)

You have a genuine blister

The rest are mere imitations :-D :-D

One prick and they're gone.

Oh! I've got an idea for a new title for the Big Blister ;-) :-D :-D

I should have treated the blister on my belly with more respect

:-(

Suddenly, the silence was not so much broken, as shattered into a thousand shards (it's a good job that I didn't try typing that last night!)

"Big Blister! Big Blister!"

It could only be, it had to be, the Little Blister.

Smashing his gavel onto his laptop (it was his third new laptop in as many weeks) he strode purposefully to the Little Blister, who was fervently praying that his bowels would not follow the path of his wayward bladder .

"WELL!"

The Little Blister, who was feeling anything but well, said. "I've just seen a post that talks about an old, fat, wrinkled, grey thing"

Tears came into the Big Blisters eyes.

This sounded like the Big One

Mentally, the heinous crimes were ticked off: ageism, sexism, negative body image.

"Report it!"

"But, but......"

"Report it!'

The Little Blister had no option but to obey.

To the mutual satisfaction of all, the Hall was eventually closed in accordance with ancient custom.

This involved ensuring that the lights were turned off, likewise the immersion heater, before all could scuttle off to their various non-hall activities.

Ooh, I'm utterly enthralled.

This seems to confirm my long held belief that the RR-ers wet themselves with excitement when they do that dirty deed.

All hail to you Allan for exposing their innermost whatever it is.

The Big Blister glared around the room.

The other Blisters knuckled down to their allotted tasks.

A deep silence descended, as it rightly should on such a solemn occasion; the Rite of Passage from Little Blister to the exalted angle of Blister.

As the ceremony continued, some of the Blisters became too absorbed in their work and every now and again the silence was punctuated by whispered mutterings such as "Got'ya!" and "No, no no, you can't use that word!"

oooh ... you are sailing, you are sailing,......... not sure your tacking maneuver, will ensure you a safe passage.

Only if they let me take in the curry and chips from the local Chink..., sorry, Chinese Chippie

So you don't reckon GP will be needing Damocles Sword then Big Blister..

Will we be doing the pub quiz down at the Dog's Bollox.

'Be yee, prepared?" asked the Big Blister

"Err, I think so," the Little Blister responded, "Will I still have to wear the scarf of no-peeking?"

The Big Blister sighed.

The quality, and intelligence, of the new candidates was simply appalling. No fire in their bellies (although the Little Blister's belly was still feeling warm from the electro-stimulation) no dedication; All they want to do is wear a pinny and play with their laptops,

This was rather a harsh summation given that the Little Blister was, in fact, one of his own children.

"If yee wear the scarf of no-peeking, how the bl**dy h*ll are you going to see the monitor!"

This what at some variance with the actual words in the Ritual, but it had been a long day, and the Big Blister was hungry wanting only to fill the allotted quota of RR's and then go down to Pub for a pie and a pint.

Only just seen this.
:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D Allan.

The Big Blister's head slowly turned, and a grin spread across his face.

"YOU," boomed the Big Blister, pointing towards the Little Blister, "Shall Monitor the General thread,"

All eyes were turned towards the Little Blister, who was gripped by fear and tension, although his bladder was beginning to feel very relaxed.

The Big Blister walked over to the Little Blister and intoned, "If thee travel safely through the Chasms of Darkness and return safely from the Abyss, then shall thee be elevated to a full Blister"

Little Blister's face bore a rapturous expression.

This was nothing to do with the forthcoming ordeal, but everything to do with a few volts dc passing from the laptop, through sodden trousers.

If the Laptop had been plugged into the mains, the rapture would have been more intense, although of much shorter duration and possibly terminal

It's alright it's okay it doesn't really matter if your old and grey

It's alright it's okay and hopefully the RRer disappears and goes away

It's alright we're doing fine it doesn't really matter if the sun don't shine

It's alright I say it's okay, the rest of us are friends at the end of the day.

and a few concrete blocks

And I'm now going to watch New Tricks.

I'll see you all tomorrow

Big Blister ;-)

OK, I'll bring my cable tow

Allan - I have spoken to the High Commander of Philosophy and he suggests that we meet the RRr on neutral ground preferably near where the tide regularly ebbs and flows in a day. :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D ;-) ;-) ;-)

GP