General Chat

The Urine Sample

One time I got sick and landed in hospital.

There was this one nurse that just drove me crazy.

Every time she came in, she would talk

to me like I was a little child.

She would say in a patronizing tone of voice,

“And how are we doing this morning?”



Or

“Are we ready for a bath?” or

“Are we hungry?”

I had had enough of this particular nurse.

One day at breakfast, I took the apple juice

off the tray and put it in my bedside stand.

Later I was given a urine sample bottle to fill for testing.

So you know where the juice went!



The nurse came in a while later, picked up the

urine sample bottle, looked at it and said,

“My, my, it seems we are a little cloudy today.”

At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand,

popped off the top, and gulped it down, saying,

“Well, I'll run it through again.

Maybe I can filter it better this time!”

The nurse fainted... I just smiled.







DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE!

Bobtanian :-D :-D :-D

I came across this the other day :-D

If you are an aurgumenative husband be careful and remember the story about the married man who was drving home with his wife when he was stopped by a police car.

The police officer got out of his car and said to the to man, do you know what speed you were doing when I stopped you sir?

The man began to argue with the police officer, after about 10 minutes the man's wife got fed up with all the arguing and said to police officer...........

You are wasting your time officer, there is no reasoning with him when he has had a drink.

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife,

'You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:

BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets,

BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole,

BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.




'From now on when I say BELL 1

I want you to strip naked.

When I say BELL 2

I want you to jump in bed.

And when I say BELL 3

We are going to make love all night.
' The next night he came home from work and yelled

'BELL 1!' The wife promptly took all her clothes off.




When he yelled 'BELL 2!', the wife jumped into bed.

When he yelled 'BELL 3!', they began making love.

After a few minutes the wife yelled 'BELL 4!'

'What the hell is BELL 4?' asked the husband?



'ROLL OUT MORE HOSE,' she replied '
YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.'

:-D :-D :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D

sally w <3