General Chat

I realise there's a very slim chance anyone at GR would see this thread, but we can only hope!

Thankyou for your support :-D

Aw, I didn't know it had gone

Bring it back................................or start another Scozz

Still not back ? :-S

MOST Definitely it should be re instated..........

fortunately I stashed many of the earlier joke posts onto another thread, but not the later ones.

Bob

while you are waiting....................

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/09/10/paper-plane-fly-forever_n_3898345.html?ncid=wsc-ukhf-tech-headline

I received this email from GR

Thanks for your email We received a number of complaints into support regarding the adult only thread and so today, we decided to remove it. Most jokes on the thread breached clause 2 of our message boards terms and conditions 'Please do not communicate anything that is, or could be considered to be, vulgar, profane or offensive' I hope this explains why the thread has now been removed.

:-(

A number of complaints? There was a warning on the opening post that the stories may be risque! Whoever complained completely ignored this, and read the stories anyway.

Perhaps those of you who enjoyed the Adult thread could send messages to GR?

I guess we all have different opinions on what is considered "vulgar, profane or offensive".

Am I stirring up trouble? NO!!

I don't like it when the few who complain get their way.

There are threads on the boards I find offensive...... I just don't read them!

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range

.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended

hahaha Bob.

I liked the plane, but I'm not trying it! Mine would probably crash & burn, then set fire to the house.

:-(

Sex Is Better Than Poetry

Sometimes I wander down memory lane;
Some things spring to mind straight away;
Sex in the previous century
Is more vivid than poetry today.

I remember Helen; and Julie was fun,
And evenings with Evelyn were ace;
But Shakespeare and Milton and Wordsworth and Donne?
Disappeared for ever; no trace.

Who here has been rendered ecstatic
By Betjeman, Byron or Scott?
Is poetry better than sex?
No, it's bloody well not.

Words it was not; it was women
Who took those sweet years of my time;
I never went down to the pub
To see if two sentences rhymed.

Nights down dark lanes in the back seats of cars;
Was it poetry that gave our hearts wings?
Was it poetry that steamed up the windows?
Was it poetry that tested the springs?

Did the thrill of iambic pentameter
Keep the fires of our passion red hot?
Is Poetry better than sex?
No, it's bloody well not.

Remember the success of the musical "Hair"?
Did the words of its songs make it so?
Was it Glibby glop gloopy nibby nabby nooby
La la la lo lo?

Sabba sibby sabba nooby abba nabba;
Were we gripped by these words of the sage?
I think it had rather more to do
With naked bodies on stage.

Tooby ooby wabba nooby abba naba.
Am I impressed? Not a lot;
Is poetry better than sex?
No, it's bloody well not.

Does my soul sing out for, say, Shelley?
No; his verses are just so much froth;
Should we have more sex on the telly?
Yes; though I sometimes fall off.

If you were alone in some far away place
And the evening was starting to drag;
If you had to choose, which one would you refuse;
The Lady of Shallot or a shag?

By the latter, in clarification,
I did not mean a guillemot;
Is poetry better than sex?
No, it's bloody well not.

If poetry was better than sex,
There'd be a torrent of spam sent upon it;
'Brazilian housewives read Shakespeare for you';
'Add an extra four lines to your sonnet'.

There's no: "You are not Long, fellow;
The opposite sex will not like you;
They want a man with a big soliliquy
All you've got is a haiku."

Does it matter how long a man's poem?
No indeed; not a jot;
Is poetry better than sex?
No, it's bloody well not.

Have I passed long years of pure pleasure
In pursuit of the most perfect rhyme?
Oh no; that to me is no treasure;
Procreation's been the thief of my time.

And when I have something to say,
A passion I need to express,
Do I care overmuch about scansion and rhyme?
No.

Do I preach that we reach for some peach of a word?
No, I lob in some odd apricot;
Is poetry better than sex?
No, it's bloody well not.

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure dome decree
And would that dome have poets in?
Not if it was up to me;

I get quite confused when I see a hand used
To write verse, whether rhyming or blank;
Some other employment would bring more enjoyment;
That's what I think, to be frank.

The day that I'm cursed with a preference for verse
You can order my hearse on the spot;
Is poetry better than sex?
No, it's bloody well not.

The odyssey, Illiad; in days far behind,
Did I seek out girls who could quote 'em?
Is the way to my heart through the doors of my mind?
No, like most men, I'm led by the scrotum.

And when the debate has come to a close
And we've filled you with smiles and with laughter
Don't come to us with your poems, my dears;
It isn't your poems we're after.

What are words when two souls might be dancing
That sweet horizontal gavotte?
Is poetry better than sex?
No, it's bloody well not.

To keep me amused, I know which I'd choose;
But remind me, in case I've forgot;
Is poetry better than sex?
No, it's bloody well not.

Les Barker 2003

Bobtanian & Alan :-D :-D :-D

E-Mail sent Lady Scozz
I hope they relent and let us adults have a giggle ;-)

geez Allan :-0

By the time I got half way through your poem I was too tired to even thing about a bit of the other.

:-D

On another subject......... I started a thread "WET PAINT"...... just wondering who would touch it :-D

LOL "does it do, what it implies, on the container"?

(had to be aware of a copyright RR, there)

~Bob

When I was about 10, a man painted his fence, then painted "Wet Paint" on the footpath :-D

I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen.

He got very angry at me for laughing.

I often wonder if it's still on the footpath.

:-D

have emailed support

sally w <3

Did someone recognise themselves?

At just before 11:00am today I posted on this thread. My post contained what I perceived as the likely characteristics of the person or persons who complained to GR about the "Adult" thread until GR eventually removed the thread. My post did not name any individual nor did it contain any vulgar comments, profanities or expletives. I concede however that as the truth often hurts the complainant may well have thought it offensive towards them.

When I returned to my computer a short while ago I found an email timed at 2:46pm received from the GR support team advising me that my post had been requested for review and that after reviewing my post the GR support team had concluded that the nature of my posting had breached the Message Board guidelines and terms and conditions of the Genes Reunited website and, as a result, they had now been removed it.

I have no quarrel with the GR Support team, they have a job to do which I am sure is not always easy. To the individual who requested the review I simply request that they remember what I wrote that touched the nerve and try to improve yourself if you possibly can.

You should have known better that post comments, are you not aware we are all members now of either the:-

The GR Silent Order of Monks :-D :-D :-D

or

The GR Silent Order of Nuns :-D :-D :-D

Well, I'm posting this again. If the BBC can broadcast it..............


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0TxfwB3BWQ

And.............


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXqHuTosJVE

Oh Dear.

Jonesey, I read your post and don't recall anything horrible!

:-(

btw ~ I had to contact GR about the ADULT thread being whooshed, they did not contact me first. A bit rude, really!