General Chat

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me

for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets

and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that

I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

___________________________

Prince Charles makes a royal visit to Los Angeles. The mayor and other bigwigs are at the airport to greet him. The royal jet touches down and Charles gets out wearing the wierdest looking hat they've ever seen - it's made from a dead furry animal, with little legs hanging down at each corner and a tail in the back.

Everyone is too polite to mention the hat, so they welcome him to Los Angeles and give him a tour. That night there's a big reception at the mayor's house. Charlie is still wearing the hat. The wine flows freely, and eventually the mayor plucks up his courage and says: "By the way, your royal majesty, that's a very unusual hat."

Charlie replies: "Yes, it is rather fetching, isn't it. Last night one said to Mama, 'I say, Mummykins, one shall be visiting Los Angeles tomorrow, what should one wear?' She replied: 'Los Angeles? Wear the fox hat.'"

Two Irishmen, Paddy and Mick, decide to open a pub.

Bizarrely, it is a complete disaster. For reasons they cannot fathom, they have no customers. The pub is a failure - they are staring financial ruin in the face.

"Mick," says Paddy, with an air of desperation, "I think we should close the pub and open a brothel."

"Don't be ridiculous, Paddy," says Mick. "If we can't sell beer, we'll never sell soup."

:-D :-D :-D

:-D :-D

Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him " Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!

The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Rick has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.