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|s there a cure

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Mersey

Mersey Report 8 Oct 2012 20:19

I have....I cant lie!!! I was on a very quiet hospital ward :-D :-D

Researching:
#Be Kind

Jane

Jane Report 8 Oct 2012 20:16

I think we have all done that one David :-D

David

David Report 8 Oct 2012 20:13




Have you ever sneezed and farted at the same time?

Researching:
Sometimes nothing is a real cool hand.

Wend

Wend Report 8 Oct 2012 20:09

LOL at all the poems.

What did one burp say to the other?


. . . *Let's be stinkers and go out the back way*

Researching:

David

David Report 8 Oct 2012 20:08



YOU NOTICED YOU CAN NEVER SMELL YOUR OWN :-D

Researching:
Sometimes nothing is a real cool hand.

MarionfromScotland

MarionfromScotland Report 8 Oct 2012 19:42

Burnt toast is meant to help.

A little gush of wind
Straight from the heart;
It tickled down my backbone
And it's also called a fart.

A fart can be useful;
It gives the body ease,
It warms the bed in winter
And suffocates the fleas.

MarionfromScotland

MarionfromScotland Report 8 Oct 2012 19:30



Here I sit brokenhearted,spent 20p and only......

Jane

Jane Report 8 Oct 2012 19:16

I am loving this.
Stephen . :-D :-D :-D

David .Poor E**** .I love Vick
Sometimes you just can't help it :-D.Better out than in.

Wend

Wend Report 8 Oct 2012 18:49

Me too JJ - the one I know is a real duvet lifter.

Romance is not dead :-D

Researching:

David

David Report 8 Oct 2012 18:44



OH puts Vicks up her nose when I get going

Researching:
Sometimes nothing is a real cool hand.

David

David Report 8 Oct 2012 18:41



Pongo did it often

Researching:
Sometimes nothing is a real cool hand.

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 8 Oct 2012 18:38

Slightly shorter 'poem'

Pardon me for being so rude
It wasn't me, it was my food
Somethng in my stomach parted
and, my dear, that's why I farted

Researching:
Henry Floyd (g x 4 grandad) Allegedly the heaviest man in England in 1842

Jane

Jane Report 8 Oct 2012 18:03

Only for a couple of hours Malcolm???? I would have had to leave mine out for days lol

Malcolm

Malcolm Report 8 Oct 2012 17:51

Once made a horrendous mistake and fed some left over Bean Stew to my dog.

Wheeeewwww. I had to put him into the garden for the next couple of hours!

The Viz Profanisaurus, for those who know it, defines a fart most delicately as an "air biscuit"

Researching:
Robb, Purves, Rutherford, Bald - Scotland, Fife and Berwickshire.

Barbra

Barbra Report 8 Oct 2012 17:33

Just cough loudly noo one will hear you .not that i partake .in the practice . :-D

Researching:
Tipperary. Derby .Moray. ST. Helens. Bladen /.My Eldest Son /

Mersey

Mersey Report 8 Oct 2012 17:09

Welcome back Fartgate.....good to see original op returned ...... :-D :-D

When you leave this thread it would be a good idea to waft and give it a spray just in case :-D :-D ;-)

Researching:
#Be Kind

Jane

Jane Report 8 Oct 2012 17:08

Oh Gawd!.Please don't mention French Onion Soup .The effect that had on me ...never again :-S :-S :-S.Similar to Sharron lol

Love the rhyme Mandy :-D :-D

Bottom Burps.

David

David Report 8 Oct 2012 17:07



Ive often been chastised for letting my best ones off while snoring :-S

Researching:
Sometimes nothing is a real cool hand.

David

David Report 8 Oct 2012 17:04


If you ever let off a rasper when in a crowd just give some one near by a stern look

Researching:
Sometimes nothing is a real cool hand.

MillymollyAmanda

MillymollyAmanda Report 8 Oct 2012 16:46

I've been giggling at all the posts :-D
and thought you might like this little rhyme


The fart it is a wondrous thing that's made inside your belly,
It comes out of your bottom and is often very smelly.
Now, everybody does them, from beggars through to queens
And you can do some beauties when you've been eating beans!

So don't worry about those rumblings,
Be proud of all your trumps!
But remember, if you strain too hard
Your farts come out as lumps!

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