General Chat

Petunia dear, what a lot of shopping you have done. All those bags and boxes. Perhaps I had better stop all my mail order shopping, as The Towers is now totally full of paranerphalia. There isnt enough room to swing Tricki Woo never mind the proverbial cat.

You ask what can go wrong, sailing into the wide blue yonder? I shall tell you in one word dear - Icebergs. Oh dear, I have a sinking feeling about these plans .....

Who will be caring for Tricki Woo while you are away?

Oh I remember Pass The Duchie from the left hand side ..... I also remember a news reporter asking the boys what their inspiration was, and every one of them looked blank and bemused. They clearly didnt know what inspiration was, because the journalist had to explain.

Do leave some room on your bed for you to get into, while sorting out your various purchases. How lucky you are to be so slender. Mind you whatever size I have been, that is the size that sold out first. Sleep well dear and dont let the bedbugs bite!

CC

Susan between the blooooberry and the apple, I suspect we will end up with a lot of rhubarb !!!!!

I've seen a few black "creations" wandering around where I live, but none of them are as tastefully attired as me in my binbag rags. Yes my designs include a few air vents. Its amazing what one can do with a sharp knife, I believe the rips are called "designer".

I think Teresa herself is unwell - last I heard she was nursing a sore throat having caught it through the generosity of her eldest fruit.

We had a lot of rain yesterday, and one heck of a thunderstorm last night. The cat even came home to spend the night with us - a miracle or what. Today has been dry and fairly warm but last nights storm did clear the air a little.

I hope your daughter and her man find renovating their new home to be plain sailing. There is always so much to do when moving into a new place.

One Was not a happy bunny this afternoon. It was agreed one's first husband would take one shopping after he got home from work - which means : One must be ready on time. Im Indoors does not like shopping. After a morning spent doing housework and laundry, I had a quick luncheon break, and by 2 pm was upstairs getting ready to shower. As you can imagine, I'm still very slow at doing things and getting around, which means I have to plan meticulously. So, the phone rang. It was a gardener I am trying to interest in doing the work here because the gardener I've been using is quitting and has lost interest as well, and I introduced him to Mum and he's let her garden go to weed, I was horrified when I saw it. Anyway ..... the phone rang and the man I am hoping will take the work on asked if he could come to my house "now" .... I said, well I'm going out at 3 o'clock and I thought you'd give me some notice, like phone to arrange to come the next day or day after. So he said he was in the area so I said OK, if you can get here within the next 10 minutes? and I'll show you around quickly. He said yes. I went back downstairs and unlocked the garage and side door and waited ... and waited ..... and 20 minutes later locked up again and went back in the house to go get my shower. The phone rang again. It was this man, to say he'd driven to another district miles away. I told him I couldnt wait around for him to drive back here, because of going out and now I was very tight for time for getting ready, and perhaps he could please phone again to tell me in advance when he was going to be in this district again. When I spoke to him a week ago, I gave him the full address, so there is no excuse for him ending up several miles away. I wondered if this was deliberate, ie he wasnt really there but was just messing me around because I'd said I'd thought he'd give me more notice.

So instead of the leisurely hose down I had planned, I had to rush and hurry and my stress levels went thru the roof. But, I was ready for when OH got in and we went to the supermarket and bought all the provisions we could get into the trolley but some stuff I said to leave for another shopping session cos the trolley was starting to resemble a quart in a pint pot. I was a naughty girl ..... I bought a box of Mr Kiplings cakes .... now watch my cholesterol levels soar ..... sigh !!! :-D :-D :-D

CC

any news yet Lesley? Perhaps I should start boiling water, get some white fluffy towels, and buy cigars and champers.

I dont follow the Mayan calendar either and the anniversary of my Dads birthday is 21st December, so I have to be around for that.

I'm thinking that dear Petunia will be high-tailing it to Monaco to chase after ... errrr ... chat up ..... errrr - meet Prince Albert and Princess Caroline, in the sugar pink palace up in the hills.

CC

Staggers in under the weight of bags and boxes, where is that Pat-trish-aaaah? Tutty tut!

Well dears, now that the Olympics are here, the roads are empty, as everyone living here has done a runner. The sales are an absolute boon, all the summer clothes are less than half price, so terrific for me, going on a cruise!

Do not fret about me gels, what can possibly go wrong, sailing into the wide blue yonder?

Do you know dear Upsidedown Susan, I still have to look twice when your mention your grand-dog. I half expect you to be saying something else. Moving eh? The second most stressful thing after marriage and death, and that is saying something. Give your fruit and her beau my best wishes, and good luck.

Now Lesley dear, I have heard that curry makes babies hurry. Try it dear, but have the car engine running.

Now dear Cherry, please refrain from passing the Duchy from the lefthand side, there are no biscuits left in the box!

I shall be in repose soon dears, once I have managed to sort these boxes and bags out.

I know.............................Pat-trish-aaaaaaah!

Good night dears
Auntie Petunia

Petunia,

A cruise, how lovely. :-). You should be perfectly safe surely :-D?
I trust you are taking your blueberry to keep us all informed of your journeys progress? ***thinks to self "what woes will befall Miss Mortimer this time"...

Lesley, that baby is is no hurry to arrive is he/she?. Hope your daughter isn't too fed up with it all. I look forward to hearing of baby's arrival.
A glam granny sounds just the ticket.

Hello CC, how go your creations? It would seem there are a few who wander around in black creations :-D, I wonder how hot it gets under a black creation or do you have air vents in your designs?

Where is Teresa? ministering to the unwell ? ~~~~~~~~

Wonders, the ruddy rain has stopped.... I know it is winter but, enough already. My fruit and her man haved moved into their house, they have a very muddy garden thanks to the removal of some large trees. Luckily Rome wasn't built in a day, they have a fair bit of work ahead of them.

My funny grandog, when told at the old house (minus kennel) to get in her kennel, went and sat on the bare patch of grass where her kennel used to be ;-).

Great excitement with our Equestrian Mark Todd in the hunt for a medal, hooray.( 1984 & 88 games medal winner) Apparently his horses reins came unbuckled during the cross country but they managed, unlike our unlucky rower whose oar snapped :-(, poor lass.

Must away and on with my day,

Toodle pip
Susan

Good evening Auntie Petunia, ladies and gentlemen.

Another day with no news of baby Robin or Maid Marion's arrival, for me it's been 2 day's of feeling very anxious nothing though compared to how my beautiful eldest is feeling.

CC I did mean the christening will be 12/12/2012 not 12/21/2012 I do not follow the Mayan calender but I do believe my pedantic sister does when she winters in Mexico.

Petunia Cannes how delightful maybe you'll have time to fit in a trip to Monaco, tea in the Monte Carlo Square or a flutter in the casino, glamour, glamour and more glamour, you will feel so at home there.

Lesley

*clasps hand to brow*
OMG - not the White Star Line? Petunia please - stay on terra firma, in dear old Blighty. There are many beauty spots to visit, without crossing the waters.

Yes indeed I am creating again. But if there is any juice on the floor, I was not the one to spill it. Perhaps Pat rish aaaaah forgot to fit the lid onto the vegetable blender when she was juicing the carrots? Oh surely you do not begrudge me a roll of binbags? I do some amazing work when I am on a roll.

Yes I was telling Lesley a little bit about Father Thadius and St Jumbo's - and she will be back to hear the rest of the story but I will leave it to you to elucidate and enlighten her. It was your experience, after all, and I would not like to rob you of your thunder.

I like certain Duchy biscuits - except for the price one has to pay for them. But if it helps to keep people in gainful employment ...... !! needs must.

One does hope that dear Mrs Berry returns soon. I do miss sinking my false teeth into one of her meringues. I wish I could get my false teeth to stay firmly affixed to my gums. But she does love cooking for those who appreciate it, and she does love her children. Perhaps that is why little Bessiebunter needs to go on a diet.

*wanders off whistling .... Cannes the Cannes*

CC

Good evening dear Friends,

Oh Lesley dear, do keep us informed of your lovely, lovely news. We do so love a little baby in our midst. And as for coming to the Christening, I think I speak for us all when I say, we would love to.

What an exciting day I have had...............so chocablock full of interesting things.

As you know I am a patron of many churches in the area, and it was the turn of St Hilda's in the Quagmire to be blessed with my presence this morning. Such a lovely big church, light and airy. I must say that the flowers on show are nowhere near as good a display as my usual haunt, but the tea and coffee afterwards was delicious. The biscuits could have been a bit fresher, and of better quality too. It does amuse me those adverts on the tv for a certain supermarket, but the bik-biks left a lot to be desired. I always buy Charlie-boys confectionary, I just like the crest imprinted in them. It always set the tone................

Dear Octavia and Georgianna picked me up outside the church, they are of a different denomination, but we do not let that marr our friendship. Each to their own. We then went on to a dear little hotel in Surrey, where we combined luncheon and watching the Road Race.

Those gels, whizzing by. I hear there was a bit of a pile-up later on in the day, but our Brave Gel got a Silver. So hurrah for her.

Now.................our big news........................we are to go on a Cruise. We are to take in France, Spain, Italy, Turkey and Greece, then turnaround and come back. Such fun.

I know we have been to France before, but this is Cannes.............playground to the beautiful people, we shall have such an exciting time, all those boats. Of course we shall be taking George, Francine and dear little Valentine with us. Pat-trish-aaaah can look after the house, she does not like meeting people very much, and it will be cheaper than locking up the place, or getting a house-sitter.

Cherry dear, whilst passing I thought I heard you mention Elephants Ears, sure not what I thought, was it dear? THAT episode at St Jumbos with Father Thadius and that dreadful, dreadful man.............shudders. Surely you were talking about the programme tonight about London Zoo. I hope so, sincerely, I do.

Are you creating dear? We seems to have an absence of bin-bags again, that is a sure sign that your creative juices are flowing. Be a dear and mop them up dear, Pat-trish-aaaaah slipped on the last lot, and I cannot afford to have her not cooking dinner, especially now that dear Mrs Berry is on her holidays with her brood.

Can anyone explain how she and six children can fit into one little caravan? Mind you, they seem very happy children, and the thought of cooking for her tribe does not seem to phase her one little bit.

So...............................we will be off the end of August, we have managed to secure some late-booking tickets, from a company called the Star White Line, so something to look forward to.

Good night then all.
Auntie Petunia

I'm sure you will make an excellent Glamorous Grandma Lesley!! Is there any news of the little one yet? Do y'all know - boy or girl?

Did you really mean on the 12/1/2/12 - or was that a typo for 21/12/12?? I hope you arent following the Mayan calendar.

Do ask dear Petunia about my talents for making exotic outfits and matching hats from black bin liners. Of course the hats have wide brims, I cut up the cardboard of cornflakes packets for the brims. As my complexion is "Morticia Addams" I think black suits me best. Also, black is supposed to be very slimming. Petunia would say : Pale And Interesting.

Ahem it wasnt so much the elephants ears that discombobulated poor Petunia, it was the elephants trunk !!! This was an experience from which she has never recovered and does not wish to recall, so you will have to ask her to explain as I wouldnt wish to steal her thunder. LOLOL.

CC

Good afternoon CC

Yes I am waiting to become a Glam-ma for the first time and I am very excited.

We are considering having the christening 12/12/12 if you and your friends are free you are more than welcome to attend, black bin bags I am intrigued, fascinators what is this fashion? Only wide brimmed hats for me dear to protect my fair complexion from the harsh sun rays, would you consider wearing a wide brimmed hat in black or in another colour that complements your complexion?

Poor Petunia it sounds as though she may have had a couple of lucky escapes, as for elephants ears I really don't know what to think, I am hoping auntie will enlighten me when she rises.

Lesley

where is everyone? have they all gone to church, or to a Sunday flea market? I wonder how much the fleas cost ...........

I’ve taken to wrapping banana skins around my feet.
They make excellent slippers !!!

its the sweets, the chocolates and drink
wot makes all of your clothing shrink.
I'm not overweight, I'm merely under-tall,
and I bounce back lovely when over I fall !!

Lesley do I take it that you are about to become a grandmama? We will have to have a virtual christening. I am a dab hand at making outfits from black binbags, as Petunia will tell you, so I will arrive at the christening all dolled up in a most unique way. But I draw the line at fascinators on hats.

You are most welcome to the background of life at Chez Petunia. I felt it incumbent upon me to warn you. Did anyone tell you that she has nearly been fleeced by several gentlemen down the years, and had a run in with a parishioner at St Jumbos. Ask dear Petunia about "elephants ears" and see what colour she turns. If it was not for good friends such as myself, dear Petunia would be in dire straits without a paddle.

Anyway do come back and tell us all about the infant. Little Valentine will need a playmate soon.

CC

*ambles through the dining room with a railway mug of warm milk*
has anyone seen the best brandy? I want to lace my bedtime drink .....

not that I wish to brag about it, but I was waiting in the royal enclosure when HM The Queen dropped out of the helicopter. But I never name drop, as I was saying to the Princess Royal only last week.

I've noticed that dear Petunia has become a trifle paranoid about her bone china collections. Everything is now behind glass doors, and she's put little padlocks around the handles and not given me the key. *tut*

Petunia dear do you really think you need another holiday so soon? You have barely recovered from the last one. On the other hand, perhaps the hot dry air of Egypt will suit you. I will ask my dear friend Monsieur Poirot if he can recommend a pyramid. Perhaps this time you can take Pat rish aaaah with you - and leave your friends at home with their husbands. Make sure though it is Pat rish aaaah, and not Trish.

And this time, do refrain from speaking to strange gentlemen who have smooth tongues and glib repartee. But if one should happen to follow you home, I will take care of him for you D:)

CC

Dear Auntie Petunia.

Thank you for my laced edge handkerchief, I have it on my person as I type.

I to am a very gentle lady that likes to lunch and only drinks tea out of bone china cups although I have been known to have the odd tipple out of a crystal cut glass.

Today I haven't ventured very far from home as I was hoping for a telephone call from my daughter asking for mummies support alas I haven't received the call as of yet, so tonight I am going to abstain from my second favourite tipple in case I do get a call and need to drive to the delivery suite.

CC I would also like to thank you for your explanation about Petunia's family.

May I wish you all a goodnight or good morning.
Lesley

Good evening dear Friends,

Do you know, my ears have been burning all day. Do you think someone has been talking about me? Cannot have been any of my dear friends, they are all souls of discretion!

I have been in the Aquadrome most of the day, being a timekeeper for the Swimmers. Those swimmers from China have been breaking records, and celebrating. I am sorry that our little gel did not win a medal, but it is who is best on the day. Maybe she will do better in another race.

Now.............talking of china.................I cannot imagine what has happened to my best Dresden. I used to have a full set of 12 cups and saucers, side plates, dinner plates, serving dishes, gravy boats with a sugar bowl, milk jug and tea and coffee pot to match. But unless I have put them somewhere so safe, I cannot remember where..................some appear to be missing.

I have since removed the Coleport and the Royal Doulton to the parlour in the cabinet. I dont think that Pat-trish-aaah has become THAT clumsy of late, but she has been a bit peculiar over the last few months.

Thankfully her hair has started to grow back, and she now has a 'gamine' look, and we are all relieved to see that the tattoos were temporary and they are beginning to fade. She is almost back to her old, albeit plain, self.

I do hope that with the little snippets of information I gave dear Lesley, I have not frightened her off. As you know, I am a very private person, but it is only fair to tell her brief outlines of things, if she is to become part of our family.

Georgianna and Octavia have deigned to come and see me tomorrow, since they left me in Paris, while they disappeared with their husbands. They think I need a holiday to give me a change of air, and we all need to recuperate from our accident.

I am nearly healed, although moving around is still a little stiff. The nose now has the plaster taken off it, and the hand, once a tetanus as administered, is a little less red. So the three of us, are on the mend. I do hope they do not suggest France again, although we had some rollicking adventures last year in the Loire Valley. And of course we know what happened to George...............aaaaaah!

May I wish you a goodnight dears, it has been a long day, and I still have the smell of chlorine in my nose.

Splashing lavender water liberally on a lace-edged hankerchief!
Auntie Petunia

now Petunia dear, you really should not be getting so excited over the olympics, so soon after your return from France. Do what I did dear - read about it on the TV news, whilst sipping a cup of tea in a dainty cup. You are needed at Motie Towers, we simply cannot manage without you.

Oooops there goes another Dresden bone china cup. It just slipped out of my hands.

CC

Allan I did not mean for you to study the Cats Eyes quite so literally. I trust that the bus was not injured.

There are cats eyes, and Cats Eyes. incidentally the man who developed the Cats Eyes which help to light up our motorways, did not patent this and he died impoverished.

You really should not torment your daughter ........ I used to tell my youngest we'd get a key and undo her bellybutton and her legs would drop off.

CC

good morning to all and greetings to Lesley in particular, what you may not know my dear is that dear Petunia has never been married.

As a young gel, she was sent to Spain to recover from the presumed death of her one true love who went off to WW1, and she had a very close friendship with Juan of the Spaniards, as a result of which there was a daughter that dear Petunia never got to know. This daughter grew up in Spain with a foster family, and had a grand romance, and Pat rish aaaah is the result.

Pat rish aaaah turned up at Petunia's door one day begging for work, without revealing her true identity, and Petunia felt so sorry for this waif she took her into her household and Pat rish aaah spent many years being the household skivvy until I turned up and worked out what had really happened - the family resemblances were too marked to be ignored. I am good at ferreting out scandals thanks to my experience in family tree research. Well it doesnt end there.

Pat rish aaaah also had a Grand Romance, and a young girl called Juana was the result. Needless to say, Juana turned up at Motie Towers as well, and as her moustache was so much like Pat rish aaahs and they both spoke Spanish when alone, it didnt take much for me to figure this out at well.

Finally, dear Petunia finally had to acknowledge that I was right all along, and anyway these days no one gives too hoots about such things. And so, we are all one big happy family.

As for the one true love - it turned out he didnt die in the war after all, and he turned up at Motie Towers dressed like a tramp. However Petunia recognised her Patrick, and arrangements were made for them to marry. Unfortunately, he developed a tenderness for Juana and they eloped, to Gretna Green, where he died during a passionate embrace because the church bells ringing were eclipsed by the jangling bells of an ice cream van. But not before I had discovered that a lot of ladies had been linked with Patrick, and he made off with their money, so Petunia has had a narrow escape.

Oh well I dont suppose we shall see Lesley again .........

CC

Yawns, and stretches as far as the stiches will allow................

Good Morning dear Friends,

I do hope you liked our little show. I think dear Danny did very well indeed. Dear Kenneth and his engineers with their erected chimneys pushing skywards, the NHS being honoured, the rocking house, dear Lillibet dropping in with dear Craig, and poor old Paul not quite getting to the high notes................

I think the March of the Athletes was rousing, and the lighting of the Flame was spectacular. And the best athlete got to carry the final torch. Well done all concerned.

I shall have a quiet couple of hours, then it is back to work here in London. I shall be heading back to the Village, just to inspect the sleeping arrangements for the competitors, and making sure they are where they should be..........................

Turning over for a further 40 winks

Auntie Petunia

Dear Auntie Petunia,

Having taken CC's advice I did study the Cat's Eyes and nearly got run over by a bus!

As you ladies were talking about fruits, my female fruit also first appeared to the world in an August sometime ago.

I remember a discussion I had with her regarding Cat's Eyes and I regaled her with as graphic a description of how cat's eyes were obtained as I could. This upset her so much that she is now very protective of all cats.

The weather down under continues cold and dry: at least in the West. I believe that Adelaide is somewhat wet.

I do hope that your appearance at the opening ceremony was not too tiring for you. It gives new meaning to the phrase 'just Poppin in.'

Take care all

Kind regards

Allan