General Chat

cooooeeee Cherry, I have just come in from tending the next door chickens. We are officially chicken babysitting for the neighbours while they are on holiday :)

I am sending some cake down the cyber hatch, victoria sponge. Well we are getting a little over run with eggs :) My smiley faces have gone :(

Teresa x

Hello Susan, I am so glad to hear the puppy's eye is healing well and surgery wont be necessary. I know how worried you must have been this last week or so.

The dirty pebbles have been superglued to the stonery in the Walled Garden now, dear, and I made sure they were nailed down as well, so you neednt pop round with hammer and chisel. The cactii have been dug in. The terracotta ornaments have been ordered from A. Titchmarsh Enterprises. All we need now is a statue of a sleeping Mexican, and a totem pole. How !! Perhaps I should check out the website named after a certain River ......

I havent ironed sheets or pillowcases in years, I merely fold them carefully and they take care of themselves. When I first married, I ironed sheets, I even ironed towelling because it helps the stuff keep shape better and longer. I am older and wiser ..... towelling just gets "pulled" into shape.

well - Mrs Berry, Pat rish aaaah, and I, could have managed one little doggie. Tricki Woo must have escaped from the kennels that dear Petunia dumped him in. I dare say Tricki is responsible for the lion sightings in Essex. I hope that dear Teresa is not tiring herself out chasing sightings and searching for lion pawprints and dung.

What a shame dear Petunia is away at the moment, because she would have been in seventh heaven organising the zoo staff, telling them how to fire their anaesthetic dart rifles, and advising the police how to do their job.

Oddly enough the phones have been quiet this morning, so I expect that Petunia and her cronies are organising the ship's crew. I do feel sorry for the ships crew ..... :-D

CC

~~~~~ to Teresa, watch out for the runaway lion :-D.

CC, I shall be around tout suite with my chisel and hammer :-D...

Lesley, I have to confess to ironing sheets :-(, my fruit thinks I am mad but I can't stand crumpled sheets. I , however , do not starch them ;-).

Petunia, it sounds like you are having a wonderful little sojourn upon the high seas. I do hope the Captain scrubbed up ok, though I am sure you would have put him to rights if needed :-D. Are you sick of ship tucker yet ?. My Mama and Papa once went on a cruise where they didn't like the food... Very very basic, not quite what they thought at all.. Turns out it was only a 3 star ship :-P. Now they know...

Our puppy has escaped an operation, her eye is healing well by itself. Phew !!
OH and I are puppy sitting on the weekend. Should be fun :-S.

Life is pretty quiet here at the moment, quiet = boring :-(. As we didn't win the lottery last Saturday, I am back orf to work,

Toodle pip
Susan

*groans* oh my aching head ....... a load of bags fell down on me through that cyber hatch and I was knocked out. When I eventually regained consciousness, I was surrounded by bags full of dirty little pebbles. As I cannot quite remember dear Petunia's instructions, but I think it was something to do with a garden - I have given them to the gardener to create a Stonery in the Walled Garden, along with instructions to plant a few hardy cactii and lay some terracotta ornaments around, we shall be quite Morroccan when it's all finished. :-D

CC

Running in and out, chores and all that and then paid toil at the crack of dawn tomorrow. I will be back in the week :-D

Teresa

Cherry dear, thank you for taking possession of the party bags. Dear Beatrice said something about taking the bags to Hatton Garden when we arrive back in Blighty, to get them cut? What cut? It is a chiffon bag............it hardly needs a scythe to open it! Tutty, tut!

We have spent the afternoon on the yacht again, and will return to the Ship tonight.

Such larks! We are dining at the Captains Table tonight. Just so long as he minds his p's and q's.

I shall have to decide what to wear.................such a chore. One wants to outshine the others, without appearing to do so!

Trickey Woo is at the Highgate Hound Emporium Cherry dear, surely you have noticed that he is not there with you?

Please give sschuggles wuggles to icky wicky Trickey Woo for me!

Climbing the gangway to dress for Dinner.

Dont wait up!
Auntie Petunia

How kind of dear Petunia to telephone again, even if she only wanted me to keep an eye out for her party bag coming down the cyber hatch and nothing for me. Oh well thems the breaks.

She said something about Tricki Woo and Kennels. I know nothing of this.

PAT RISH AAAAH !!

CC

Such an interesting night dears. But here I am tucked up in my bed, and Georgianna is still snoring opposite me.

Well the young man I met last night was called Bratt, I think that was what he said, it was so noisy with the fireworks going off. The red-haired youngster disappeared soon afterwards, so I never did find our HIS name.

The party bags were interesting dears, Georgianna got quite excited as the watch, necklace and earrings bore her initials GA. There were a few dirty pebbles at the bottom of the bag too. Georgianna smiled and winked at me, do you think she had ash in her eye from the fireworks?

I am sending party bag home down the cyber hatch Cherry dear. I do not want excess baggage [that is why I left Pat-trish-aaaaah at home]. I shall be sending various things back, keep an eye out for them. Just store them in my room, and I shall attend to them when I return.

How is my little Trickey Woo dears? I trust you have visited him at the Kennels?

Now for brunch dears, that is a combination of breakfast and luncheon. Bacon and cabbage?

A little perambulations around the town again I think today, who knows who we might meet!

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

oh Lesley I would never dream of having an illicit rave here while Petunia is absent. If anything does happen - I shall blame Pat rish aaaah. After all, the Hells Angels followed her home the last time she went out by herself.

I too would love to be rolling in diamonds, but alas I am a Princess with the Pea and very delicate and unable to lay down on anything hard and lumpy.

Well what an interesting phone call that was from dear Petunia, it sounds as though Beatrice is someone I would care to know especially with her affluent relations lurking in the background. Perhaps some of the affluence might rub off. I wonder what was in dear Petunia's party bag. One can hope it was gobstoppers .....

She mentioned a young man who has a Famous Friend. Why, who can that be? Surely ..... not Big Ears? His friend Noddy is quite famous.

CC

The party is in full swing here. The yacht is rocking from side to side. To be honest I do feel a little mal de mer!

Such a variety of people, such merriment and dancing.

I say, a young fellow with reddish hair has suggested skinny dipping! I am not as sylph-like as I once was, I shall decline and retire to the downstairs lounge.

The fireworks will begin in about an hour, I shall come up on deck for those, and then back to the Ship.

Beatrices' nephew is a charming fellow, he has given us little party bags to take home with us. I shall wait until we are back on board before I open mine, just in case the sweeties fall out. Such fun.

Now who is that young man standing opposite me? I know his face...............but his name escapes me.....................I think he said he had a famous Friend.............still none the wiser, but he seems rather jolie.

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

Oh Susan I don't iron anything unless I have to :-D but don't tell Auntie Petunia that ;-)

Cannes how delightful Auntie you must be feeling very much at home mingling amongst the rich and famous. So Beatrice nephew is something in diamonds :-D if by any chance he offers you some samples I think they would be very suitable holiday gifts for your friends that contribute to Auntie Motie (Part 2) of course this is only a very polite suggestion ;-) ;-)

CC Do you not think the phone is ringing non stop with people trying to get through to accept your kind invitation to tonight's party at Motie Towers
;-) Susan and Teresa are you up for it :-D


Anything you hear about me not ironing Auntie is not true those words were not typed by my fair fingers :-| :-|

Q. who gives children a bad name?

A. David and Angie Bowie ... !!

:-D

*driven to distraction*

I'd like to think that dear Petunia is missing us all but really she cannot help pulling the strings and controlling the puppets. The phones here have been ringing non stop. I pulled the hall phone lead out of the socket but the phone in the dining room still rang which meant I had to run in there to take dear Petunia's next call. So I pulled the dining room phone lead out of the socket but ... oh you would not believe how many ringing telephones there are in this house.

This morning the mailman delivered a telegram, from Ruby and Smarmie. So much snailmail gets lost in the post, but not this telegram ..... sigh

I must remember to explain to Lesley, that Ruby is related to Scarlett who are both distantly connected to dear Petunia. Ruby came to visit about a year ago, full of talk about their maid Mammy, and life on Tara in general. Ruby brought "a friend" with her, a remarkably mannish and whiskery lady, who rurned out to be Ruby's husband Marmaduke. He wore ladies clothing, and used a ladies' name, to avoid offending Petunia's sensibilities (they claimed), following her unfortunate experiences with various gentlemen of the opposite gender.

However, the truth will Always Out, and thus Marmaduke was totally uncovered.

Petunia soon regretted asking them to make themselves at home - because they did. I think it was the Brylcreme all over the linen pillow cases that upset her the most. Ruby referred to Marmaduke as her dearest Marmy. And the rest of us ladies decided he was rather smarmy, hence his nickname.

And the telegram says that Ruby and Smarmy will be arriving on Monday. Oh dear, and nothing is ready yet.

*dashing away with the smoothing iron*
CC

We are in Canne. Oh my dears what an exotic place!

All these film stars and people from popular beat combos walking about. One can scarcely walk four steps without falling over an Oscar Winner. [The brother of Michael]

We have been invited aboard a yacht. It seems that Beatrice has family over here. I am warming to her already. It is quite a big yacht, I do not know the cubic capacity, but it seems pretty big to me. We are having drinks on board.

Her nephew is something in diamonds, and is quite handsome in a certain light. He has a look of Omar Sharriff about him. Dark and swarthy, but refined. Yes, I could quite take to him, especially as money is no object. His motto is..............if you have to ask, you cannot afford it! Quite right too!

We are to spend two days here, before we set off again on the Canitti [have you worked it out yet?] so we will not be going back to the Ship until late tonight. There are to be fireworks later, so will look forward to that. Just us Gels today, George and Francine and dear little Valentine are spending time on their own. It is right that they do their own thing, they dont want to hang around with crocks like us.

Last thing we saw was the proud parents pushing the Silver Cross along the esplanade, and going in for a coffee somewhere. I am sure the chance of a bit of fresh air on their own will suit them better.

We will be entertaining now, a certain celebrity couple, with their brood will be joining us.................one thing is for certain, it will not be a quiet evening. We saw them strolling along earlier, pretending to be unconcerned, but secretly holding their heads erect, so there is no sign of a double chin. Too late in our case.

Thank goodness I went to that Phone shop before I left, that one where you tie your hands in knots. They advised me to get a roaming tarriff as it would be cheaper, and gives me the opportunity to keeping in touch with Motie Towers.

I am anxious that all is going swimmingly, and Pat-trish-aaaah and Cherry are being fed properly. Dear Mrs Berry does not work at the week-ends as you know, but I did ask her to bake extra this week as dear Ruby and Smarmie will be arriving at the end of the week I believe.

Thank goodness we are all dressed to impress, I can see Mr and Mrs Whatstheirnames and all their children coming along the jetty. Well.............here is the beginning of our evening!

Toodle Pip
Auntie Petunia

I knew I should I should have locked away my cellphone and lost the key. Dear Petunia's Bloooooberrie is really getting some use because she phones constantly to check on Mrs Berry and myself. She must have spent a fortune on credits. But I shall look on the bright side - perhaps Beatrice (who I have not met yet) will throw Petunia's Blooooberrie into the water.

I expect that George and Francine are having a second honeymoon, certainly they didnt get much of a first honeymoon. Too much interference ....... ;-D

I wonder what Mrs Berry is preparing for our dinner tonight .......

CC

Walking leisurely along the deck, watching the lights reflected in the water, there is a cooling breeze. Thank goodness I have my pashmina around my shoulders.

I must say our suite is very swish. That dear little maid has done us very well, she has hung up all of our clothes, and turned our beds down.

All of our bedrooms are 'off' the sitting room. I am in with Georgianna because I know of her 'funny turns', Octavia is with her friend Beatrice. She has known her for years. I do not know her yet, time will tell if I decide to be friendly with her. George, Francine and dear little Valentine are in the last bedroom. There is a dear little cot in their room, and a 'listening service' so that we can safely leave him in their capable care.

Dinner tonight was very nice. Four courses, and limitless wine for those who imbibe. I had soft drinks....................as you know.

George and Francine have gone back to their room, claiming to be very tired. Octavia and Beatrice have gone along to play Bridge, and Georgianna and I are standing here looking into the water.

This White Star Line really is unique, who would have thought that SS Canitti would be on her maiden voyage? All is spick and span and tickety boo.

We will have one more turn around the deck, and then I think we will go into the ballroom and listen to the orchestra. We can hear Some Enchanted Evening playing.

Do you know? I think we will have a lovely, lovely time.

Good night dears
Auntie Petunia

*waving Union Jack furiously at Petunia and her cronies as the USS Liner steams slowly into the horizon*
Oh dear me that did create a draught.

*shouting over the choppy waves*
Have a good cruise, dears. Do remember you have as much right as anyone to dine at the Captains Table. Dont let any Lothario's or Bluebeard's back you into a corner, or a bathtub. Did you remember to pack your sea sickness tablets? Bye bye !

*rubbing hands together* Right then. Lets go back to Motie Towers, Pat rish aaah. I have been instructed to take great care of you. Pedal away my dear, pedal away !!

*thinks* I shall stop being a Little Lamb, Pat rish aaah's teeth are starting to look a bit too sharp for me, as if she has been filing them .....
CC

The Royal Marines play gustily.

Here we are ladies......................standing on the deck, waving our hankerchiefs............ticker tape and confetti raining down............how wonderful it all is.

We have been shown our suite..............no cabin for us.................we also have a balcony...................we can decide if we want to breakfast on that................a very nice little maid has come to help us unpack.................soooooo wonderful.

So, I will let you know the whys and whatfors..................as and when they happen.

Have a litle faith Susan..............once bitten twice shy...............no Casanovas for me.

Not unless he looks like Cary Grant........................

I know I can rely on you Cherry dear, you will keep everything in order..............especially now that most of your rub.....erm..............................new acquisitions have been towed away.......................keep Pat-trish-aaaaah on the straight and narrow.

Bye bye dear friends.................

waving hankerchief furiously
Auntie Petunia

you are forgiven for stealing my thunder Susan, and you are quite right, as you are so far ahead of us for seeing the sun rise you get all the worlds news hours before we do.

By the same token, the end of the world on Dec 21st will catch New Zealand first, so please be sure to let us know what it was like! I wonder who should turn the lights off ..... :-D

"more than a match for Ruby?" How kind of you to say so, but you may be right. I am renowned for thinking on my feet. Did I tell you a cheeky door2door pest asked me if I was "the lucky lady of the house" and I swiftly snapped back "no I'm the cleaner".

ah well its getting late, I must go prepare my bed of straw and hope the big bad wolf doesnt put in an appearance.

*wonders where Little Bo Peep has got to*
CC

Ah here you are Petunia dear. Let me explain about the Crown Jewels. A good parallel would be Meat & Two Veg, only the veg has the seal of Royal approval.

As I dont know what Father Jack does in his armchair I cannot comment on his little libations. But I have heard that hairy palms is the first sign of madness, and searching for hairs on the palms is the second sign. Is Father Jack any relation to Grocer Jack who didnt open his shop?

Well, I am sure I dont know what you mean about my home comforts. I hired two Pickfords pantechnicons to take away all my purchases from That River, and I only occupy one room. At a time. Its just that I cannot now remember which room I am supposed to be in, or whether I was in the East Wing or the West Wing. But of course I will stay on, how could I desert you in your hour of need, with that Ruby and Smarmy arriving - especially as you have caved in over your rules and regs where I am concerned. Really, was it necessary to draw up a Legal Document, tacking it to the kitchen door with double sided cellotape and a bit of string on a cardboard toilet roll holder and a Fairy liquid bottle suitably reshaped, to tell me what not to do? I know one does not lick out the cream jug, when people are watching. I also know how to make candelabras with wire coat hangers, tinsel and cheap candles. My Mama dragged me up proper, as I keep telling you. I believe I am related to Hetty Kett, as Mama talked about her so much.

As for the house Ruby has An Interest in - I think you mean Chingford, that is where the expensive houses are and it can be very rural there, so close to Epping Forest. I know, because many moons ago I had a friend who lived in Chingford, in a five bedr house with a swimming pool and room for a pony. It was just like Birds of a Feather, and my friend was just like Dorien. I was Sharon. Come to think of it ..... I'm still just like Sharon - only much larger, cos she lost weight. If one does not know Essex I suppose it would be very easy to confuse Chingford with Chelmsford.

My late uncle lived in Woodford Green at one time, very close to Epping Forest, I remember accompanying my aunt and their dog on a little leafy walk during one visit.

*thinks* Yippee, I can play my Phantom CD full blast all night long !!
CC