General Chat

Walking in stamping my feet and shouting I WANT the silver grey lace dress to fit me :-| how far am I prepared to go to lose weight taking aspirin or anything else that doesn't agree with me, no I don't think so (sorry to hear about your experience CC) starvation yes :-D

Oh the dress is so perfect, dusky pink hat and bag could be bought from the same shop as the lace dress I WANT shoes I haven't looked for, Auntie Petunia do you think I could wear my slippers they are very comfortable and wouldn't cause a facial grimace or a fixed smile that will make my cheek muscles ache, the photographs would be perfect if my feet weren't in view ;-)

hello Lesley, I can tell you how to lose weight fast. Take aspirin for six weeks under hospital instruction because the doctors wont listen to you saying it doesnt agree with you, then stop taking it ..... and wait for the side effects to kick in. Its possible to drop a stone in five days, using this method.

Your dress sounds lovely, what colour is it? I am sure you will look as lovely as Catherine of Cambridge always does. I dont know how she manages to keep smiling, surely her cheek muscles must start to ache.

CC

dear Petunia, so attentive to everything and phoning every half hour or so to check all is well here at Motie Towers.

All I know about Ruby and Smarmy is that they sent a telegram saying they would arrive Monday evening. I assumed this was last Monday, and it being Bank Holiday Monday dear Mrs Berry had gone home for the day but left a feast in the kichen. However, there was no sign of either Ruby or her husband, which leaves me wondering ..... which Monday did they mean. Perhaps they meant tomorrow. The food did not go to waste. It kept me going all through the night. :-D

As for Mr Onassis and Mr Onassis, well, words fail me. Petunia is so easily led where gentlemen are concerned, only to slip on a banana skin later. And this time, I am not there in person to pick her up. Georgianna is away with the fairies again, if she thinks one of these gents will change her future life for the better. Dear Petunia's sinking feeling was spot on - a sapphire mine at the bottom of the ocean. How much of Mister Georgianna's fortune will be sunk into that venture. Still it makes a change from receiving an email from Olga from the Volga, promising a half share in a diamond mine plus an offer of marriage, just for opening my bank account.

CC

Ooooooh dear, Georgianna has let me into her secret.........

She is to go into partnership with Nickos, they are excavating a sapphire mine at the bottom of the Indian Ocean.................



There may be trouble ahead......................

Lesley, your outfit sounds lovely. Remember toning shoes and handbag. Heels not too high, there will be a lot of standing around. Bad shoes mean grimacing in photographs. And a hat that shows your pretty face!

Thats my advice for the morning, back to talk Georgianna out of investing all her nest egg. Mr Georgianna will not be pleased.

Trying to muster tact
Auntie Petunia

Good Evening Ladies

CC I'm sure Harry would have his hat on his head ;-) I can remember seeing the two streakers, one with a helmet ;-) and one without, but I can't say that I have seen the greetings cards.

Today I have been hunting for an outfit to wear to my dear friends wedding which is at the end of September, did I find what I liked. Yes I did but it would mean me loosing about 1/2 stone so it looked right :-(

Auntie Petunia I think you might approve of the little dress I have chosen (the dress is little not that I am) it is made in a very delicate lace and fully lined of course, it is very Kate Princess of Cambridge. I kid myself :-)

Lesley

Good evening Ladies,

Dancing again tonight! Georgianna talked me into it last night, and I goaded her into it tonight, what fun we shall have....................

I am sorry dears, I know you will chastise me, but we did have a lovely time last night.

The ballroom has a proper sprung floor, and it made even someone like Georgianna, who I am sorry to say, is a fairy elephant, look good.

Never the wallflower, I whisked dear Georgianna into the ballroom, and we made a delightful entrance coming down the stairs. Chin up dear, I told her, let no one know that you do not have grace and elegance.

Once on the floor, we began to dance with each other. I suddenly thought of that Joyce Grenfell song, As Stately As Two Galleons, but never mind, I thought it makes no difference if we are dancing boooosum to boooosum.

We had barely got to the end of the dance tune by the beat combo, when two rather distinguished looking men came over. Made their excuse me's and led us into a walz. I could see that poor Georgianna was a bit flustered, but neverthless I glided around the room effortlessly.

At the end of the dance I thanked the gentleman, and made to go. But no, both gentlemen held onto us for another dance. Being properly brought up, I could not immediately agree, and as we had been given Dance Cards, I promised to book him another dance later in the evening.

As I said, poor Georgianna has little affection in her life, and was extremely flattered by all the attention. I took her aside, and warned her on the perils of Shipboard Romances.

I have to say all four of us danced the night away. The gentleman formally introduced themselves and gave us their cards. Onassis Enterprises was engraved on the beautiful cream edged cards. Surely not?

At the stroke of mid-night, we made our excuses to leave. We were dutifully escorted back to our suite, and strolled along the deck. Georgianna and Nickos were deep in conversation. Stavos bid me tonight and gallantly kissed my hand. Suddenly, Georgianna realised she had left her gloves behind, and went to get them.

I let myself into the suite, undressed and got into bed, and fell into a deep, deept sleep.

Morning broke, and I looked over to Georgianna, her bed had not been slept in! Where is she? Oh dear, do you think? What shall I say to her dear gentleman husband?

After breakfast she breezed in, and told me she had something to tell me, something that would change her destiny. All would be revealed at the Dance tonight..................oh dear, I have a sinking feeling..............

Cherry dear, any news on Ruby and Smarmie?

Lesley dear, I see you have seen the photograph..............quite erm..............unique is it not?

Feeling trepidation
Auntie Petunia

Susan :-D :-D Nice shoe's ;-) ;-)

how kind of dear Petunia to be concerned about me straining myself, but as I explained to her, the gardener is doing all the donkey work, in his donkey jacket, while I stand there and supervise, and occasionally take him a cup of coffee out of the goodness of my heart. Well, the coffee really comes from Petunia's percolator, but I do have a very good heart.

Ah yes, calling a spade a spade. I once cornered the Village Idiot, and took him into a garden centre with a display of garden rakes and hoes, and garden forks and shovels, and I told him to take his pick.

I must remember to tell Petunia that if she docks at Glasgow, she will need a Scottish passport. I am the proud possessor of two, and also a Scottish £5 note which ironically I was given South Of The Border. And whilst in Edinburgh I was given English £5 notes in with my change.

--o0o--


~~~~~~~~~~~~ to Susan I'm not overkeen on Marmite, although when my Offspring were little I used to feed them with Marmite fingers, and would take a finger for myself. They liked Marmite in those days. I never buy it now. I have a feeling that Vegemite can be bought in the UK.

--o0o--


~~~~~~~~~~~~ to Lesley. Hmmmmm, one wonders where Harry would actually place his hat, in that event. I remember the 1970s streaker and the policeman's helmet :-D That photograph of the streaker, and the photo of Erica Roe baring her soul, both now appear on greetings cards, the blank ones where you write your own message inside.

CC

Auntie Petunia I've never heard of giving babes gin for the din but have heard of whiskey for the grizzly.:-D I am so pleased you appear to have got over your earlier shock, enjoy the dancing :-)

Teresa garlic ice cream and marmite chocolate nooooooooo :-( all three separately yesssssssss :-) Squeezy marmite I'll have to look out for that.

Maybe CC Harry was aloud to keep his hat on. ;-)

Ooer what am I letting myself in for with a naughty email about a certain athlete from another country :-0 I wonder who that could be ;-) Thank you Susan PM sent.

Petunia,

I hope your sensibilities are restored? You did dare me dear :-D.

CC, I can't be doing with Vegemite, we are defo a Marmite house. My fruit has it so thick on her bread, I like a wee smear so my mouth doesn't take offence at the taste.

My fruit used to live in a hostel (while at uni) with international students. The fun she had introducing the unsuspecting to 'chocolate spread'.. Not too many actually liked the taste.
Marmite is as kiwi as tomato sauce on a pie,pineapple lumps, jaffas, mayonnaise on hot chips and going barefoot in summer :-D.

Oooh , I was having a wee trip down memory lane.

I am orf over the hill today to return sons car and visit the parents. Can't be too late back as the puppy will need a walk :-).

Have a lovely weekend,

Susan

Good evening ladies, how are we tonight?

Do you know the sea is as smooth as it possibly can be. If this Ship was of a lower quality, all we would hear would be the chug chug chug of the engine. But as this is a better quality Ship, we can hear nothing.

I must say the seagulls are of monster proportions here. One hopes that there will be no little packages left around and about.

Georgianna has been quiet since the Mal de Mer incident. She has been taking her tablets and seems quite well. No more of the biting tongue palarvar. She has enlisted me to join her on an Olde Tyme Dancing Night tonight. Now, as you know I am an excellent dancer, and do not want to show her up. I shall place a couple of coins in my dancing shoes, so I am not quite as agile on my feet. How compassionate I am! She says that the notice board says there will probably be an absence of men to dance with.................Never mind, I am used to pushing forwards, instead of being led backwards.

I dont mind saying that poor Georgianna is somewhat lacking in affection. Although her gentleman husband is a lovely kind man, he is not what you would call romantic. His idea of a Birthday Present is a new set of pots and pans! I did suggest to him one year that he might like to buy Georgianna a bottle of perfume. He humphed and blowed, and then said that a bar of carbolic was good enough for his Mother, so it would be good enough for Georgianna. I think it took him by surprise when I kicked him in the shins!

Cherry dear, I do hope that you are not straining yourself at the Garden Centre. Are you planting new flowers outside Motie Towers? Remember we have a gardener, and it is his job to call a spade a spade.

Apparently we have another 3 days at sea, imagine, going from one ocean to another, I wonder if we have to show our passports at the demarkation line?

Right ho. Georgianna has changed and is a vision in Eau de Nil, while I on the other hand, am in Mediterrean Blue.

Doing the Light Fantastic
Auntie Petunia

We were out again today Teresa, a small foray into Essex to visit the Harlow Garden Centre, which I only discovered the other day and never knew it was there before. We also visited the Nazing Glass Works, where they sell an assortment of ornaments and other such incidentals such as crystal glasses, plus they used to let visitors into the workshops to see glass being blown. Not sure if they still allow this, but it was fascinating to see the craftsmen at work. On the way home, we took a detour to visit a Toby Carvery where we had a nice meal, and I partook of a free ice cream.

MFH and Ai have a slight problem in that at our time of life .... what can we do for a day out. We've visited all the stately homes and Historical Places Of Interest that can be visited as "a day out". We've had mini breaks and visited other stately homes and Historical Places Of Interest further afield. We are not of an age (nor in good enough health) to go camping, or sleep in caravans at holiday campsites. We dont have grandchildren to drag around with us, so most Family Days Out would be wasted on us. We've visited various zoos, to the point where its "seen one zoo, seen them all". The garden is established, and I have no plans to change anything .... I cant do the work any more ..... so trailing round garden centre after garden centre is out, as well.

So. I thought we could visit museums or pottery shops or glassware shops or antique centres ..... (hence the trip to Battlesbridge) but there is nothing within reasonable driving distance of where we live, and we looked online as well. I may be drawing my old age pension, but I am still too young to go to the local council's Tea Dances for old folk. Oh what to do ... where to go. (It doesnt help that MFH has turned into a G.O.G, who I cannot take anywhere, not even a second time to apologise).

I am not sure if the cyber hatch is a two way street .... would my smelling salts land safely on the deck of the SS Canitti? or would some poor young deckhand be knocked out cold. Then again - if Pat rish aaaah has any more nervous debilities, she might need my smelling salts to restore her. Restore her to what, I cannot say. I do wish Petunia had taken Pat rish aaaah with her. Or even better, taken me along. I would have happily carried her money belt. :-D

The mention of Gin to soothe a fractious baby reminds me ..... my sister in law used to drink a glass of stout, or was it Guinness, shortly before the 10pm feed, and her baby slept through the night.

CC

Oh that wretched Bloooberrie. Why cannot dear Petunia have a holiday, when she goes on holiday. These modern new fangled systems of communication means that no one need be out of sight and out of mind. There is something to be said for living with dinosaurs. Oh well we cannot say we do not know what Petunia and her cronies have been doing. I dread to think of them trailing round the Vatican. I hope the Pope didnt feel too harrassed. I can just envisage Georgianna (the racy wretch that she is) asking the Pope what is worn beneath his papal gown.

Tricki Woo would have had a field day, rounding up all those feral cats.

Yes I know Petunia will return to the Trevi Fountain - to fish out the coins she threw in there along with everyone else's coins. After dark, naturally.

Oh I do hope she was not too distressed about the fate of the dirty pebbles, I told her once again they were used in the New Walled Garden that I had the gardener create. Superglue works wonders, no one will ever prise the pebbles out now, they are stuck down fast. Just like the £1 coin glued to the floor of SainsCo in the middle of the Back Pain Remedies aisle, and it is so funny to see people bend down to try and pick it up. Perhaps I should not have said that, I would not wish to put ideas into anyone's mind ....... ;-)

Perhaps I should expand my sense of fun, by putting some fake £10 and £20 notes into an envelope, with the fake notes suitably revealed, and attaching a piece of cotton to the envelope, and placing the envelope in the street, so when anyone sees the envelope and bends down to pick up all this "money" ..... I pull the cotton and jerk the envelope back to the front door.

CC

hi Susan, ummmm I guess you mean its being circulated as a J-peg, thanks but no thanks, if its come from another source I would be hesitant to have it sent on to me because it could contain a tracker. Virus-scanning images doesnt always show up a tracker. What a shame it's something that cannot be typed into text. Thanks anyway :-D

Perhaps dear Petunia will print it off, and let me see it when she comes home from her voyage. We are bound to run into one another eventually, even though this is such a large house.

I didnt know you had a Marmite shortage. Can you not raid Australia for stocks of Vegemite, as a temporary alternative? I dont blame you for rationing out what is left in your pantry .... but I wouldnt mind betting you are having the biggest spoonfuls !!!!! :-D

My Manuka Honey treatment seems to be working ....... my little problem was a lot better this morning.

CC

Susan, where is this e mail? I am a little concerned and ned to see if it is suitable for Auntie.......... oh no I am too late.

Cherry Cherrrreeeeey, quick send a jar of marmite and the smelling salts to Aunty P. Goodness only knows what has happened!!!!

I would send my squeezy jar of marmite but I love it too much to part with it.

Yours wondering about a slice of toast and marmite.

Teresa

OHH MY!

Erm, I'm sure I dont know what to say! Really? My, my, the things you see when you do not have your gun!

Forgive me dear, but is she not wearing a tad too much make-up?

Sitting in the corner quivering
Auntie Petunia




Well dear Upsidedown Susan, I shall leave it to you...................do you think the others need their horizons broadened quite so far???????

Dear Petunia,

I have done as requested and emailed you :-S,

:-D :-D :-D ;-)

Please advise if you think content is suitable for t'others

Good evening dears, I seem to send my daily reports just before dinner these days. That is because I have had such a packed itinery during the day. We stayed overnight on the Ship, and have taken a train up to Roma.

Ah the Eternal City. How wonderful it is. Even the policemen on point duty look like Franco Nero. I have been here before, as you would imagine, but to my surprise Beatrice had never been, so we decided to try and pack as much into the day as we could.

Firstly we climbed The Wedding Cake, the sun glinted onto the white marble, and we did indeed need to put on our sun glasses. Who would have thought at this time of year.

A short walk away, and we entered the Vatican. Beatrice and Otavia and Georgianna are all of the Catholic persuasion, so it was ideal for them. We wandered around for over and hour, looking at the icons and the statues, then the others went to light a candle for their loved ones. I lit one for Lavinia, it seems so strange that she is not here with us. We all bought a rosary to take away with us, it will remind us of our visit, and of course it reminds me of Lavinia.

A quick turn around and we are in the Forum, and they are surprised how many little darting lizards there are, but not as many as the cats that live there. A lady came to feed them, and it seems hundreds appeared from nowhere.

The Colusseum was a quick visit also, as we wanted to head to Piazza Navona to have our likeness sketched. So many artists, we decided on a characture, rather than a proper likeness. I know exactly what I look like, I do not want a young man to capture every line and crevice..............

Then to the Trevi Fountain, where we threw our pennies. We will be back again dears, I feel it in my water.

A light late luncheon, and we were back on the train. My goodness, thank Heaven we are at sea all tomorrow, I dont think I can keep up with all the gadding about.

Lesley, have you thought about Gin for your little one? Apparently it was the fix it about 100 years ago. No? Just a thought.

Dear Upsidedown Susan, yes please do send the email. As you know I am a woman of the world, I do not shock very easily. Go on dear, I dare you to send it.

Teresa, I look forward to travelling with your dear daughter, I am sure you will be wonderful in her new occupation. Good hard work reaps its own rewards. You dont work too hard either dear. Remember Jack became a dull boy.

Cherry dear, PLEASE dont say the pebbles are stuck in the wall dear....................Get a screwdriver or something and pick them out. I promise I will give you one if you do. There were twenty in total. I dare say I can get a tiara out of 19 emerald cut diamonds. Breaks into a cold sweat.

Dinner time dears. Do you think this pink organza is a little over the top? Maybe a little too Ms Cartland? No? I thought it looked the bees knees too.

Dont wait up dears, the night is young, and so am I in spirit!
Auntie Petunia

Hello Ladies,

My 'email' is a photographic one , so CC, I would need your permission to send it you as it from another source, Lesley, if you would like to see it, send me your email addy and I will forward it on.... I absolve myself from any comebacks though :-D.

OOh Teresa, how exciting for your fruit. Friends of ours have the ships sailing into Auckland , sail righ past their house... I hope NZ will turn on some lovely weather for the ship and her crew and passengers ;-).

Teresa, I saw a bar of Marmite chocolate in a sweet shop in Windermere.. The shop was shut, I intended to purchase the choccy for my marmite loving fruit. Perhaps I was saved from wasting my sterling?

Did you know , though there is absolutely no reason you should, that NZ Marmite has been off the shelves for months. The factory suffered earthquake damage and there have been further rebuilding delays. It is due back into supermarkets in November I think. I shall stand back from the rushing shoppers. The incident was almost a national catastrophe - if you like Marmite. I have a half full jar in my pantry that fruit spotted , I had to wrestle her out of the pantry ;-). We are rationing the remains :-D.

Tis Friday morning here and the sun is shining, just to tease us before the rain arrives I think...

OOOh. one of our para olympian swimmers has won a gold medal - hooray. Go Sophie. Our cyclist Fiona has won a bronze. Hooray again !! Girl power

Toodle pip
Susan :-)

oh yeah - there was a cartoon in today's Express, which I thought hilarious. HRH Papa was reading a newspaper while instructing his son to at least wear a pair of swimming trunks at the paralympics. This incident will not go away in a hurry. The general public are like elephants - we never forget. I still remember a telephone conversation which was made very public by a certain Red Top Rag .......

CC