General Chat

*glares daggers at Pat rish aaaaah for opening the attic door and letting Ruby go free*

Hello? Hello? Cherry dear, do talk to me. I must be honest and say I have never known you to be lost for words before..................speak to me dear.


There must be a bad connection dear, I shall try again later.

Now Teresa dear, what exactly DID I say? I tell you so many tit bits of interesting information. I cannot confine myself to just one? Was it to do with the Wedding dear?

Lesley, you shall go to the ball! Those personal shoppers are really very good. Just give them as much info as you can, likes, dislikes, and of course your budget. They are trained very well at Spedan Lewis Ah Mr Thomas the Jones. I remember when he had his original nose! I do think he looks more distinguished now that he has let his hair go au naturelle. Pity a few more singers do not do the same. My, my, my Deliliah!

Well the Bingo certainly opened my eyes! I have never seen such fervour! Sensible ladies were sitting sweating over a few numbers. I am pleased that it will be first and last time. Doctors orders indeed! Psht!

The Brothers O. departed today, I cannot say I was sorry to say goodbye to them. Poor Georgianna is bereft. She really thought that Nickos took a shine to her. Alas the only thing he took a shine to was her money.

We will be here in Turkey for a couple of days, I shall give you the guided tour tomorrow dears. Bit tired tonight.

We are to go to the onboard cinema soon, we shall be seeing Casablanca. I must say in a certain light, I do look like the lovely Ingrid.................


Preening in the mirror
Auntie Petunia

CC I didn't know when or why women started throwing their unmentionables at Tom Jones :-S

A google search came up with this answer.

During a 1968 engagement at the Copacabana Club in New York, the air conditioning was not working well and Jones, as always giving every song everything he had, was drenched in his own perspiration. Between numbers, several women in the audience offered him their cocktail napkins to wipe his face. But one woman lifted her dress, removed her underwear, and handed that to Jones on stage. He says he was flabbergasted, but he wiped his face with it, and handed the woman her underwear back. A gossip columnist was present, and after the incident was mentioned in the next day's newspaper, throwing panties onto the stage became the thing to do at Jones's concerts.

Lesley

Halllooooooo, Halllooooooo, Halllllllo! Someone come an open this daw!

Ah will not be locked into this cupboard. Mamie kick the daw in, I will not be cooped up like this.........ah am not a chicken!

Thats better.....................Patricia deah, come up heah!

Patrician honey pie, who is that woman dawnstairs? Speak to your Auntie Ruby, ma little chickadee. Ah ha. Miss Cherry is it? Ah shall take her ta task!

Walks down stairs.

Ah Miss Cherry deah. Ah would like a word with you. Now, come deah I would like to know what you have done to ma cousin Petunia. There is no reason why you should be living heah while she is away. Ah I see. You all looking ahfter the place for her. Ah see.

Now please be a deah, and get the staff to get us something to eat. Ah could do with something hot inside me, a little chittlins and corn bread if she can rustle it up.

Now, let me tell you deah. I have not had an exciting time since we docked here at South-hamptawn. Ah had looked up Cheltenham on the world wide web and seen the pictures, but it was not at all what I was expecting.

Cheltenham ah took to be a little town lost in the mists of time. Ah had seen the Cheltenham Gold Cup, and was very miffed not to see it in the Tithe Baaaarn. Ah expected to see plenty of activity too, as ah I heard of the Cheltenham Races. Ah expected to see the Cheltenham Ladies to be racing around the town. But no, it was a metropolis with cars and all kinds of thangs. No horses there at all.

But, and this is the big butt! Nah pun intended Patricia honey chile, the house ah I have been left, is a dooozy. Ah have put it up on the market at once. Ah may even come and live near ma dear cousin.

Now tell me deah, what exactly is your role in all of this?

Tell Ruby all abaht it.

hello Lesley, I have no idea where the reservoir is, I just noted the address details on the card they gave me. We dont know that area at all, as its quite a long drive from north east London.

The gardener I hired has only been the once. The people who came last weekend are a different firm, and a lot more expensive, but I am getting frantic seeing the weeks slip by and I dont want my shrubs being clipped in November or the frost wont do the clipped twigs and branches any good. So I hired the second firm and they are very good but I cant afford to hire them every month. The idea was the work they did would give the first gardener I hired "a head start", because this man charges less so I can ask him to come in more often. And today I was out doing some clipping ... woof woof, yes I feel like the man who bought a dog and did his own barking. But as I said, I'm going frantic because I want the pruning done asap, before the frosts come back.

I'd send you a pair of unmentionables to throw at Sir Tom but my modesty forbids me from removing them. How on earth did this custom start ..... LOL

Hmmm I see there is no Bloooberrie call from dear Petunia today. Ruby and Smarmie went up to the attic, as instructed, to hang their capes in That Wardrobe, and I nipped upstairs behind them and locked the attic door, and they can stay there until Petunia comes home. *shivers* ghastly couple.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ to Teresa

CC

Auntie, did you say what I thought you said !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


~~~~~~ to Lesley and Susan and Cherry.


I am a little flabbergasted and will be back later.


Teresa

Dear Auntie Petunia I promise I wont be rushing around the West End on 28th September looking for something to wear to my dear friends wedding on 29th, I am going to have liposuction or colonic irrigation ;-) because I WANT that dress :-|

Putting on my sensible head if I can find it :-D Sunday I am off to Hyde Park rumour has it Sir Tom Jones is to be seen there (at least I wont be the eldest in attendance) that reminds me I must remember to take a pair of unmentionables to throw at Sir :-D I will be staying in the smoke and returning home on Monday so a brief stop at Westfields I think is in order J. Lewis have pulled out all the stops and allocated me a personal shopper I do hope I'm not disappointed ;-)

You are good Teresa spring cleaning at anytime of the year :-D I detest housework :-\

CC I don't know the Windmill in East Hanningfield is it anywhere near the reservoir
I hope your gardener has changed his bad habits or is he the same as my fruits thinking someone else will pick up after them :-(

Puppies I think are like children everything goes into their mouth, they always find the best flowers/plants to pick or dig up and if they can find an escape route they will,
Our eldest has all this to come with the most beautiful, adorable baby ever born :-D

Ooh Susan I have just seen the most perfect pair of unmentionables to throw at Sir Tom ;-) :-D ;-)

Petunia spies with her beady little eyes something beginning with S .....

Salt Water ocean, and lots of Seamen on the luxury liner.

One simply has no idea what this Bingo lark is all about, one does not play Bingo or Housey Housey or any other Tinternet games.

Gordon is of course General Gordon, I believe he was known to enjoy a spot of tiffin. Whether or not the tiffin was liberally laced I could not say.

Emilia Fox is the daughter of Edward Fox and Joanna David, from whom she has inherited her excellent acting talents. Edward Fox is the brother of James Fox, who is the father of Laurence Fox aka Det Sgt Hathaway. Emilia was a WDYTYA subject not too long ago, and introduced us all to her Aunty Mary, a delightful elderly lady. Every family should have an Aunty Mary ;-)

Hark who is that banging at the door? *peers through spyhole* Oh no. It's Ruby and her husband. Should I let them in, or should I ignore the doorbell, after all, it is after dark and they can always come back after Petunia has returned home .......... no I was instructed to make them welcome. Sigh.

*sounds of bolts being unbolted, and door hinges creaking ...
and a mad organ starts to play somewhere in the depths of the basement*

"Why Ruby and Marmaduke. How lovely to see you. Where have you been all this time? we expected you last week or yesterday. Yes, Monday, but you didnt say which Monday. Do come in, and wipe your feet. I'm afraid Pat rish aaaaah has gone to bed, and Petunia is enjoying a luxury cruise on an ocean liner, but your room is ready for you. The Blue Room, dears, to match Marmie's jokes ....... But first, do please make yourselves at home. Just nip up to the attic and hang up your capes in THE WARDROBE ...."

*thinks* well that wardrobe should keep them busy for the next week ..... !!

cc

I spy with my little eye - a puppy in disgrace :-|,

Yesterday she got out of a gate and was found by a neighbour who rang my OH to come home and secure said puppy. Then she proceeded to dig up a herb garden that was planted in a planter box on Saturday.....
She is easily bored it would seem. Luckily for her we all love her ;-).
She is over her malaise it would seem.

I do not know of the gentleman you speak of , not by name anyway.

Petunia, have fun at Bingo :-D, two fat ladies 88, hope the purse is worth your efforts?

Teresa, I doodled FTE's boat, cor, it looks loverly it does... I would be pumping her for a family concession :-D. When is she to set sail on her first trip?

Our weather is the pits at the moment, I went for walk yesterday and got caught in a cold downpour... One was not amused and one could hardly see through ones spectacles..

Busy day of toil ahead today so must fly. I have friend having major surgery today so she is in my thoughts <3.

Toodle pip
Susan

Good evening All.

Yes, Sea, Sea and more rotten Sea!

We are docking tonight, and people will be disembarking on the morrow, I feel sure that I can chaperone Georgianna well enought tonight with the help of Octavia and Beatrice.

We are slumming it tonight, even though this a VERY upmarket cruise, we are going to play Housey Housey. I believe it is also called Bingo.

There are numerous advertisements on the television for Bingo, one with a Wolf, one with a load of silly women giggling, and even one that you do on the tinternet. What every next?

Ooooh yes Cherry, Mr Glenister, I do remember him as Sharpe the younger. What a whippersnapper he was. I also know of the adverts you speak, who is this Gordon? Young Miss Emelia is his partner in crime. She has such big eyes! Such a pretty girl.....................I like her in Silent Witnit.

I am afraid I do not 'clear out' Teresa, not when I can Pat-trish-aaaaah to do it for me. I get her to put the rubbish on the chaise longue, and then I give my approval, or no, as to whether she is to give them to the masses.

Still nothing of Ruby? Perhaps she has changed her mind....................................please!

Pretending I am enjoying myself
Auntie Petunia

Petunia spies, with her beady little eye, something beginning with S ....

let me see .....

would it be ...... SEA? there is certainly plenty of that and it is easily spotted.

or perhaps ..... SAILOR? there are quite a few of those around as well

CC

Hi Teresa, yes indeed, the "character" of the man in the gin advert is very much like Mr Gene Hunt. I think Philip Glenister has typecast himself, although I remember one of his very early outings in a Sharp story, where he was cast as Sharp's half-brother. Wot got shot.

He has an older brother Robert, who is not so typecast.

I was amused to see that Nicola Walker, actress ex Spooks, had two outings last night, at 9 pm, on both BBC and ITV.

Why wait until Spring for a spring clean, indeed. When I was younger and fitter, I used to have a clean out every three months, then it became every four months. Not only was the house clean to Kim and Aggie's standards, but I used to find things I'd forgotten I had. Now ... I can longer do this work, and have no idea what I may or may not own. Oh for a versatile 10 year old scullery maid who can wield a duster.

CC

Yawns................................is it morning again already?

Keeping Georgianna confined to barracks is a little tedious.

One can only play I Spy a certain amount of times.

Now............I spy with my little eye..........something beginning with.................S.



Ho hum!
Auntie Petunia

Oooooooh Cherry where is is the Gentleman walker Mr Glenister. The televsion has not ben the same since Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes has gorn. Is he like Mr Gene Hunt in the advert :0)

We have been spring cleaning today, yes Ladies I know its not yet spring but I started to muck outr FTYs room and then FTE is having a massive sort out and charity bag is on the go. I have snaffled a couple of nice bags that were in the pile :0)

Orff now like a lady wot does


Teresa

Hello Susan what happened to the puppy? Its not anything to do with the eye? I hope all is well now.

Are you going to help your friend drink the bottle of gin? There is a funny series of adverts being shown on UK TV at the moment, with Emilia Fox and Philip Glenister, where they are at a posh gathering listening to some chinless wonder talk pretentious burble, and Glenister comes out with a very inappropriate remark which causes silence to fall very loudly. The adverts are for a brand of gin, I hasten to add.

CC

Oh what a relief to hear that Georgianna's finances are safe, and that the Bros Onassiss are departing the ship. Playboys cause nothing but trouble, and I dont mean the magazine. Hmmphh.

I have often thought of assisting Paris Hylton with her finances. She has all the money in the world. I have all the financial budgetary sense. And I wouldnt charge as much as professionally trained accountants either :-D

Many moons ago when I was a young and trusting penpaller, I once received a friendship book on which was written the name and address of a Turkish gentleman, who said he collected and swapped stamps. I wrote to him about the stamps, and received a doozy of a reply on which I dined out for months, my dears. All I will say is, this Bey got the silent reply. I do hope that Petunia and her pals stay clear of the Beys, they can be treacherous!! ;-)

Bridge and rubbers ....... when I was a gel, a rubber was something I used to erase wrong answers written in pencil.

*praying that Ruby and Smarmie are driving around Spaghetti Junction*

CC

Morning all,

Shoes Lesley ? I hadn't noticed the shoes :-D....

Ooh dear, aint it pain being a gal at times. Trying to get the look right sometimes means comfort plays second fiddle... I saw a photo of myself recently, was wearing my new frock, oh dear... I shall blame the photographer and next time I see him, I will kill him :-\.
I hope you find what you are looking for Lesley.. and no, slippers are not an option dear.

Tis Monday morning again, it is raining - again.... Had fun with the puppy until yesterday when she was obviously very unwell. Oh dear, I was all for ringing the 24hr vet.. Poopr pup had both ends going and wasn't the slightest bit interested in any food. That is a sure sign she was unwell - she rallied in the afternoon before her master and mistress returned...

Petunia, what a to do.. So much for a restful little holiday for you. Perhaps a slap around the chops for Georgianna ? No ?. I do wonder at your choice of 'friends' dear. Do you ?

I am orf to buy a bottle of Gin :-), not for me, for a friend's birthday gift. I can't think of anything else :-(. There are no babies at his house;-)

Toodle
Susan

Do you know I feel like Alice in Wonderland when she grew, shed tears, then got tiny again. I am awash in tears!

Good evening ladies. I am mopping up tears as I speak. Poor Georgianna has been 'had', hook, line and stinker! What a cad!

As you know dear Georgianna is starved of affection, and anyone who smiles at her get the 'come on'. Deary, deary me. What am I to do with her?

We will be docking at Turkey in a couple of days, and the Brothers Grimm will depart there. Thank goodness. I am sorely tempted to lock her in the suite until then. Thank Heaven all her cheques need double signatures, so the family fortune is safe for a while longer.

I must say since this debarcle, we have hardly seen Beatrice and Octavia. But they are keen Bridge fans, and have been having a rubber or two in the afternoons, and a few more in the evenings. I believe they are playing for matchsticks, so no chance their their finances going down the Swannee.

George, Francine and dear little Valentine are also keeping their own company. They push the little darling around the decks, and everyone is so enamoured of him, the stroll around the deck takes forever.

Lesley dear, let me tell you a cautionary tale. I know of a young gel who was getting married, and had the misfortune to have her sister and her sister in law to be, as bridesmaids. Both maids were particularly awkward in the first place, and insisted that the dresses be bought in a size smaller than was wearable, as they both were going to slim to fit into them. Needless to say, said bride was running around the West End on the Thursday night, trying to find bridesmaids dresses in the original sizes, as the two dratted gels had not lost any weight at all!

How is your dear little one by the way? And no..........slippers are not an option!

Cherry dear, I am at a loss as to the whereabouts of Ruby and Marmie. Perhaps they are bypassing Motie Towers altogether, and heading straight to Cheltenham. I do hope so, she is a pain at the best of times!

Ah dinner time again, I shall indeed help with my stays at this rate, I am eating enought to sink a battleship!

Toodle Pip
Auntie Petunia

Aaaaaaah Lesley you can want the dress to fit you, as much as you like. Dont the shop sell "the next size up"????? or couldnt they order it? Or alter the dress thats in stock ??? But the dress sounds an absolute dream, and would look lovely teamed with dusky pink accessories.

Alternatively you could ask dear Petunia to lend you one of her corsets and get Pat rish aaaah to tighten up the laces until you have a wasp waist and can barely breathe ..... no thats not a good idea either. Smelling salts smell awful.

As for shoes, as Catherine of Cambridge is very much an Icon now, you could ask her to lend you a pair of her Nude shoes, she has several pairs I believe. Such footwear can be teamed with absolutely anything. And she has been buying jewellery from a little UK firm called Heavenly Necklaces, with the result that the company ran out of stock because the world and his wife placed orders as soon as Catherine was spotted wearing a pair of ear rings from Heavenly Necklaces. They are still restocking - its a family firm and apparently they are working round the clock to make new things.

Those ear rings were lovely ... ! and looked a lot more expensive than they really were.

How is little Emilie doing now?

CC

hello Lesley it wasnt the Old Windmill in South Hanningfield, it was the Windmill Tavern in East Hanningfield, I just checked the business card I was given.

I've just been on the EssexRestaurants site, to see a mixed bag of Reviews about the Tavern. Most of the diners said the food was lovely, but one person said they had to wait so long for the food when they asked "how much longer" they got a rude response and told not to return - they said. Hmmmm .....

I have to admit, we waited nearly half an hour for our sandwiches, but the pub was busy and I allowed for that. There was only one person at the bar, and probably only one chef on duty, it being mid afternoon and not peak dining time.

I didnt leave a review ..... they wanted my email address and other details.

CC