General Chat

Congratulations Cherry dear. Money is money dear. Five pence can give you five trips to the loo. Unless you go in one of the big Railway Stations where it is 20p, so you may get as far as loosening your coat!

I am sorry I have been absent dears, but it is the Anniversary of Poor Lavinia and Mr Lavinia. Those of you who were there, know what happened at Highgate Cemetery, with the runaway horses, and the glass carriage. Shudders.

I have been in silent reflection for the past two days, it brings it home to you, how frail we all are.......................

I am delighted to hear you are feeling a little better Cherry dear. I was beginning to wonder, as we can only see your dear little face, once wrapped in cotton wool.

Lesley, the weather looks to improve before the weekend, so hopefully sandals will be in order. I hope you have broken the shoes in, just in case.............

~~~~~~~ to Teresa and Upsidedown Susan.

Back to a relective mood
Auntie Petunia

Hello Lesley and thank you for the flowers and sympathy - all sympathy is much appreciated :-) Please dont be offended if I return the chocolates - I've gone off the stuff for the time being, and would not wish such lovely confectionery to be wasted! I still cant eat anything, without having difficulties.

Yes some strawberry marks do disappear on their own so dont worry about that for the time being. Am glad E is well in all other regards.

Well Ladies - you are being posted at by a Woman Of Substance, A Lady of Some Private Means ....... oh such wealth !!

Yesterday I received a recorded delivery letter, and thought : who the heck would be sending me RD mail. When I opened the envelope I found a letter from a certain building society who advertise they give X-tra. That's "just a line", as I do business with them so I know what a bunch of shysters they really are. Anyway, the letter said I had won a prize in their monthly draw.

How much??!! I hear you cry.

The top prize was £100,000. Then £1,000. Then several £100 prizes. MFH said if I'd won the top prize, he'd retire. I told MFH, it would only be £100, and I promised him that he would get half my £100. (But, if I had won the top prize, I'd have kept quiet about it, and given him £50, as I dont want him to retire!!! :-D).

So today I dragged my weary bones, and empty tummy, to the building society, with all the documentation they asked for as proof of ID, barring the drivers licence as I'd forgotten to check it was in my handbag. You would not believe the palaver I was subjected to, to prove that I was ME, and over 18. I mean, look at me, would an 18 year old choose to look like this?????

The branch I visited is my local branch and I'm in there every month doing the banking. But its a different division who handle the prize draw, so even the branch's word wasnt enough ... or so they claimed. I was asked for another proof of ID, perhaps a bank card from another bank. I supplied one - then commented about how they were walking off with my bank card and added "with all due respect how do I know what you are doing with my bank card when its out of my sight, you're making all these checks on me but people are always being told not to let their bank cards out of their sight". "Its to make sure you dont walk off with prize money that isnt yours" I was told. I pointed out I'd signed for the recorded delivery letter, and I'd come in with the latest bank statement and a utility bill from British Gas and who else would have a letter from British Gas addressed to me except for me, and it wasnt my fault I dont own a passport. They refused to tell me how much I'd won, until the final clearance checks were made.

So ..... I was finally cleared to receive my prize. Which was, as I'd anticipated, £100, and it was paid into my passbook account!!!!!! Which no one else can access, except me and my signature which matches the UV signature in the passbook - so if I wasnt me I couldnt have fraudulently walked off with the money anyway. Why couldnt they have just paid this money into my bank account in the first place, and avoided all the hoohar.

Now - MFH has had his share of my boodle, leaving me with £50. I owe the credit card £49.95 and I must pay this bill or face having my Credit Rating ruined. How far can we go and how much can we celebrate, with Five Pence, gels?

CC

Sending CC sympathy, flowers and chocolates, please don't be tempted to eat the chocolates until you are well into recovery.

Baby E's check at hospital went well today no concerns and no follow up appointment for a month, the doctor did mention the strawberry mark she has developed near her eye doctor said it should eventually go away by itself but if the mark gets any bigger they can/will treat it so E's vision isn't affected :-) :-(

Lesley

good afternoon folks. I am in dire need of sympathy and coddling. After posting on Sunday I became extremely unwell, and was very unwell for the rest of Sunday, all through the night, and for much of Monday morning. Am now surviving on dry toast and boiled water. I cant decide whether I had food poisoning, or picked up a gastro-virus .... there are many sick people out and about this time of year who havent got the sense to stay at home, and I have a weak immune system.

I hope Petunia that my frequent trips to the Little Girls Room did not disturb your beauty sleep. Or, are you still sleeping with pebbles in your ears?

*

Yes Lesley this is a Caithness Glass factory at Kings Lynn. They make the glass there I presume, because during the week they hold demos in the Glass Blowing Room. Or its possible they just sell the stuff duly imported from Scotland. We visited the factory at Perth once, many years ago. Anyway there is lots of info on the Web about Caithness, Kings Lynn.

*

That's right Teresa the Glass Fair was held at Linton College, and its the same Linton where the zoo is. We took our offspring there, many years ago when they were young and innocent. We also took our young and innocent offspring to Whipsnade, although I have to say that after they saw what the rhinos were doing they were no longer so innocent.

*

Last night I recorded some of the TV shows I wanted to watch, because I was sooo groggy, and just as well I did because I kept flaking out and Cable Catch Up seems to have "gone down". I am fully up to speed with the UCOS team, Petunia dear, and have advance information that Brian Lane and Chief Insp Sandra Pullman will also be leaving. Who should we nominate to replace them, do you suppose?

It is most kind of you to suggest I should make more use of Pat rish aaaah, dear Petunia. Unfortunately, that girl seems to have acquired too much self confidence since she decamped to Essex, changed her hair colour and started wearing Skimpies. I just cannot dp a thing with her. Why, I am even having to boil my own water !!

CC

Thanks for that Teresa I will suggest to my fruits partner that he looks there first, knowing him he wont as he is definitely a W Gs shopper :-S I personally don't think W Gs is same since it was bought out :-(

Aloof Auntie my MOG says I'm like that all the time :-D .....................London zoo I have a photograph of me there when I was a very young gal riding on a camel or was it an elephant:-S ...............oh dear I fear my memory is failing:-(

Lesleyx

Peeps over bedcovers..................

Is it safe to come out yet? It has blown a storm here today. Lashing of rain and high winds. Umbrellas blown inside out, and all in all, not a nice day at all.

How glad I am that I can please myself and if I dont want to rise, I wont.

Teresa dear, do you know where every zoo is in the South of England? I only know London Zoo and Chessingtons. London Zoo has had an update and is now more animal friendly, less cages and more open spaces. Also the penguins have a new enclosure, so they can swim, waddle and produce chocolate biscuits.

We also have a City Farm near us, in fact there are two, in opposite directions. One has geese that chase you. The other has a poor moth-eaten cow, that just stands and mooos all day.

Has anyone visited the Shopping Outlet in Bicester? I visited once, and was more impressed with the chocolate shop, that the clothes shops. Too, blingy for me I am afraid. The exception was the shoe shop outlet, where there were some very sensible shoes on sale.

Do you fancy making me eggs and soliders dear Teresa? I could just fancy a Grenadier Guard right now.

Lesley dear, I do hope the weather changes for the weekend. I shall speak to Mary Poppins, she seems to know which way the wind will be blowing. I am sure whatever, you will have a lovely time. Be aloof dear, people will be queing up to speak to you, as think you are mysterious.

Now Cherry dear, please try and be a little more cautious in future. We cannot have you tripping up again. Take care, dear, get someone else to do your work for you, Pat-trish-aaaah is an ideal candidate. She has nothing else to do, once she has helped Mrs Berry. Make good use of her.

Time for languishing in front of the television now dears. That nice UCOS team are on tonight. Minus Mr Bolam, unfortunately, but with that nice Mr Lawson in his place.

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

Linton you say Cherry dear? if its the Linton near Cambridge there is a Zoo. I have neve been but tis a small pootle down the road from here on the way past MILs to Cambridge.

Lesley the said Mactintosh and outdoor coat place you mentioned which the gentry and country folk wear is indeed in the shopping venue I mentioned. It advertises as 50 % off and indeed has many nice coats and jackets etc :0)

I think we have some of Susans weather here, its raining and cold and I have extracted my winter jacket out of hiding. I was toasty warm with it on :0)

Auntie, I hope you enjoyed the cake. FTE is making a chocolate delight for work mates on Wednesday. I will send you a slice or two for tea.

Orff now to have lunch, yes I know it is 4.20pm but its been a bit pf a day. Orffff now for boiled egg and toast.

Teresa

Hello Ladies

Just arrived home from a family lunch :-) have eaten far to much and I feel most uncomfortable :-( changed into negligee and relaxing on the chaise longue in front of the log fire.........it's freezing :-|

Congratulations Susan and fruit :-D

CC I am pleased to hear you are on the mend and able to get out and about :-) .........well I've learnt something today I had no idea Caithness Glass was made anywhere other than Scotland.

Ooooh Teresa please don't tempt me to buy more dresses :-D

Auntie Petunia I'm not orf to the wedding until next weekend :-S I do believe the weather forecast is much like today's though :-(

Know where did I put my fan.............the heat from the fire is a trifle stifling............there's no pleasing me today :-D

Good afternoon dear Ladies.

Have sent Pat-trish-aaaaah out to build an Ark. Tis tipping it down here. I believe Pat-trish-aaaaah's small are not that small.......................they can be used for sails, when the wind eventually drops.

Cherry dear is looking a little less black and blue, and back to her normal peaches and cream complexion. Thank Heavens. Must be all that building up with the roast dinners.

Oh dear Upsidedown Susan, how lovely for you. I can see you trailing around Bride Fayres. We have them all the time here. You can get everything under one roof. All the stationary, tokens, dresses and outfits and even order the photographer. We will be there in spirit. And we wish to be sent photographs.

Teresa dear, I do so love to cross-stitch myself and have made several samplers for births etc. I think your Fruit will be having a lovely time on her Ship, and taking reminders of you all will make her come home all the sooner.

Lesley looks as if she is ready for the orft. Lets hope it is all under one roof, I think she said it was, and the rain holds off for the happy couple.

We are having an early dinner dears, so will go up and change in a minute or two. I look forward to the cake being sent down the cyber hatch for dessert. Handmade by someone other than Mrs Berry. What a treat! I do so like to experiment.

Have a lovely evening all. I am going to overdose on Downtown now, I missed the first episode and will have to rush to the Parlour in a mo to catch up with it.

Wishing You All You Wish Yourselves
Auntie Petunia


thinks. I shall send a hat to dear Upsidedown Susan regardless. The straw boater with cherries on it will look tickety boo!

*opens a bleary eye, espies Petunia standing there, struggles to stand up, and groans*

Ah Petunia dear. You will see I have left you something. Its in the kitchen .... its waiting to be washed up !! ;-)

*

congratulations Susan to your Fruit and her Fiance. You do realise that MOB - Mother Of The Bride - eventually turns into MIL - Mother In Law. :-D

Why wont you wear a hat? I suppose its because you have nothing to hide ... no double chin, sagging cheeks, crows feet, or brow furrows and other wrinkles. Hmmm, some people are just jammy devils :-D

I'm sure Lesley will lend you her wedding outfit, for a reasonable fee, which will save you some time on clothes shopping.

*

Thanks Teresa for your concern and sympathy, I am recovering nicely. Oh there is a lot of peer pressure everywhere, these days, not just in schools or to do with wedding plans. It's a new variant of Keeping Up With The Joneses, really, isnt it.

The slice of cake went down a treat. Thank you!! Might I have another slice please? *Reaches hand out through the cyber hatch ....... OUCH !!

Ah yes ... Smalls. What I want to know is, why did my Smalls become Bigs.

*

Well we nipped out yesterday to Caithness Glass in Kings Lynn, and spent a little money. And today we went to a Glass Fair at Linton College, and spent a little more money. Two very interesting venues, and it was nice to get out of London and see a bit of the English countryside. In fact we saw a bit too much of the English countryside yesterday, because for some strange reason the blimmin Sat Nav took MFH off the A10 and around loads of country lanes, here there and everywhere - from Norfolk into Cambs, into Suffolk, then back into Norfolk on the A10 again. In fact, we neednt have left the A10 at all. But I have discovered a new Holy Testament, where Babraham begat Shepreth and Meldreth. And just outside the ancient village of Loose Chippings, there is a Holy Mountain called Blind Summit.

A word of advice -if while driving around The Wilderness, in the back of beyond, you find yourself Caught Short - forget the Happy Eater and similar A-road Eateries - look for the nearest Garden Centre or Public House.

CC

oooh Susan a MOB, how lovely :0) Congratulations to your dear Fruit and her intended.

There is a little problem over here at the moment when young and not so young Ladies are planning for their forthcomming nuptuals. The said young Ladies become a little over excited about the day and become





"whispers for fear of your fruit hearing"






Bridezillas



I blame all the celebs and people who sell all things weddingy. Pressure is put upon the poor gals to have the biggest and the best of everything, and the everything has to be better and bigger than everyone elses.
It may be just a thing which occours to some gals on our shores.

Have a google and see :0)


I love a wedding we can be your downunder cyber guests :0)


I do hope you are feeling better now Cherry, there is nothing worse than a bruise anywhere on ones person. I find cake may help :0)
FTE is making a banana cake with vanilla frosted icing and walnuts at the moment. We have BIL and SIL and the Neice and Nephew Fruit round for tea. I shall send you a slice before they come and snaffle it all up :0)


Lesley, your dress is lovely. There is a naice shop which sells some classic type clothing not so far from here (I will pm as not sure if im alowed to put in on here for fear of advertising) but not footwear. have you tried W and Gs in Town. I popped in with the Ladies who lunch the other day and there are still sales on and very nice court and weddingy type shoes. Hope all is well with Baby E. My Babies were small, FTE was only 14lbs at the age of one so was FTY. FTE is now tall and weighs a normal weight. They all catch up in the end :0)

Im glad Auntie that Patty is back with you and you are continuing the good works. Pattty appears to have left some strips of material here......oops its her smalls. I am sending them down the cyber hatch dear, get ready to catch...................................................................................................................................

Orff now to fashion a Christmas card for FTE. I am cross stiching a card for her to take on board in October. It is a little difficult to send things to the ship by post so she is taking her Christmas cards and trinkets with her.


Yours tittering at Pattys smalls



Teresa :0)

Good upside morning one and all,

The sun is high in the sky, the birds are singing away merrily, the puppy has been and eaten the food I threw out for the birds :-S, all is right in my little world..

I can now let out my leeetle secret. I am to be a MOB :-D. Yes ladies, my fruit is engaged, we are very pleased and happy for the young lovebirds.
They are wanting to be married next year, in fact not too many months away. One of the maids is to depart our fair shores, so , there is no time to be lost - apparently..

I, shall not, I repeat, not, be wearing a hat :-P. It is not traditional here for a MOB to wear a hat, even if it was, I wouldn't.. hat hair on a wedding day, not on your life.
I shall have to step up the exercise routine so I am able to find a lovely outfit to wear.. Oooh , the pressure already. :-).

Petunia, I hope you enjoyed your day out. I remember seeing the building you speak of. So many wonderful buildings to see.

I have just finished a lovely bacon and egg breakfast. I need energy for all the outdoor chores that await me today. If I can keep my mind on anything but 'weddings' ;-).


Toodle pip for now,

Susan

Breezes in.

Aaaah, I can smell dinner cooking. I can smell roast pork, erm roast potatoes, ooooh brocolli, and gravy. How lovely. Someone has cooked for us to come home to.

Walks into dining room.

Oh, erm, I dont know why, but there are three empty plates, and the elderflower wine has been opened and drunk. And I can see a pair of legs sticking up behind the chaise longue. I can also hear snoring!

Oh Cherry, really!

Feeling a litttle disgruntled and extremely hungry
Auntie Petunia

well, I am starting to feel like the lonely little Petunia in the onion patch ..... I wonder if its something I did, or something I said. Or perhaps I need a new brand of toothpaste. Off they jolly well went this morning, leaving me Home Alone. Ah well .... there is plenty of food in the kitchen to keep me out of mischief, and off the streets.

*bloated*
CC

#chugging through the streets of London Town#

Tis Open House Day in the good City today. All those posh places that the hoi poily are not normally allowed into, have been opened to the public.

As you know dears, not many doors are barred to me, because of my position in life and the social scene, but there are a few places that I have not been into.

I have been allowed into the placed where strange pale men, who probably never see the light of day, have themselves funny hand shakes. What a wonderful building it is. All marble and sweeping staircases. Obviously we cannot go into all the rooms. But my, my, to be a member of this Club, you must be in the know.

Pat-trish-aaaah is driving the tuk-tuk, and we are visiting as many Open Houses as we can. We have left dear Cherry at home, we do not want her bones rattled along on this thing, she is in the wars enought as it is.

Off now to the headquarters of a famous Petrol Company which is all Art Deco. So much more tasteful than some of the more contemporary building. Then off to tea at the Savoy. I wonder if we can park the bike outside. Never mind, I daresay if I tip the fellow a florin he will shove it in a corner for us.

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

oh how very kind of you Petunia dear. I wondered what it was in my room that took up so much space. I wandered in without switching on the overhead light, to save on the electricity bill, intending to just turn on the bedside lamp, and promptly tripped over a huge soft thing that was in the middle of the floor but wasnt there this morning.

On picking myself up and dusting myself down, I turned on the lamp and found the big roll of cotton wool. Having acquired a few more new bruises in the process, I am delighted with my little .. or not so little .. surprise, and am wrapping myself up in cotton wool, as I speak, in case I sustain further injury while laying in bed.

*looks at width of hips in mirror doors* Fear not Petunia dear, there is no risk of me wasting away.

How strange that you should mention Father Thadius and St Jumbos. Before night fell, I nipped outside to check the driveway for any new potholes, and I could have sworn I saw a man down by the gate, looking at Motie Towers. His trousers pockets were hanging out like elephants ears ........

OH PAT RISH AAAAH .......... do please bring me a mug of warmed milk, with a teaspoon of best brandy in it, and a plate of arrowroot biscuits dear, there's a good girl. What ?? What did you say to me ??? Do I have to speak to your grandmother ?????????

CC

Good evening dear Ladies.

Dont worry about babby Lesley, if she is a bright little thing, then there cannot be much wrong with her. Babbies will eat when they are good and ready, as we all know.

Dear Upsidedown Susan, Charlie and his missus coming to visit you. Will you be out waving your flag? Wills and Kate seem to have made a good impression on their tour, I wonder if parents will do the same? You will let us know your secret when the time is right. So exciting, I do so love secrets.

Cherry dear. I am sorry dear, how are you. Have you seen the big roll of cotton wool in your room. Please do wrap yourself in it. I dont want you hurting yourself. I too bruise like a peach, it is not funny. Please feel free to order Pat-trish-aaaah around as you please. And also give Mrs Berry instructions on what you want to eat. We will have to feed you up if you are poorly. We cannot have you wasting away.

I have been distributing more of the trinklets today. I unfortunately had to go to St Jumbos this morning. Father Thadius was very grateful for the bolts of silk, he will have a new altar cover made. He liked the Regal Purple, and said that the Scarlet will be made into hymn book covers. So all is well.

I did not stay too long, and was walking back along the corridor when I heard someone humming Nellie The Elephant...................................I ran.

Good night dears
Auntie Petunia

hello Lesley, if the health visitor says not to be concerned about the baby's weight gain (or lack of it), then dont worry. easier said than done I know. But its probably just an indication that Baby E will grow into a slender and svelte young lady with an excellent metabolism.

Thanks for your concern about the fall I had; no, I'm not too uncomfortable, and just grateful that my new hip didnt dislocate.

now now, if Susan spills the beans then it wont be a secret.

Time for bed, said Zebedee ................ (and one old lady who never ever watched The Magic Roundabout)

CC

Oh dear CC I am so sorry to hear about your fall :-( I do hope your not to uncomfortable :-)

The dress shown is probably in the smallest size made, mine is probably the largest size :-| I also have all the necessary unmentionables to hold me in.............. in all the right places :-D I am wearing a hat which has a flower on that is very similar to those on the dress :-)

My poor little baby E has to go to hospital next Tuesday :-( she has only been putting on an ounce a week rather than the preferred three ounces, the health visitor says not to be concerned as E is alert, chatty, hydrated and overall lively :-S

Susan can you spill the beans yet on your secret ;-) ;-)

Auntie Petunia dear I would just love to have quick look around one of the apartments at the Shard :-) if my arm was twisted I could even be persuaded to stay a little longer..................a night or two would be acceptable :-D

~~~~~~~~~~To Teresa.

good evening dear Petunia, how nice the table looks this evening, set to perfection, the knives and forks and cruet set all measured out nicely; and those sweet little flowers are the icing on the cake are they not? metaphorically speaking of course.

Am I late? only I thought your three friends were joining us for dinner, or did they go home whilst I was having my siesta? Well I have been sharpening my teeth, as well as my appetite, in readiness for another of Mrs Berry's moveable feasts.

I am a Dame of the Ladies of the Innocent Comment Brigade. I once asked a lady when the baby was due. In my innocence, I did not realise the lady was merely overweight and "out in front" and that the maternity smock she was wearing was not a maternity smock but an ensemble from Rent A Tent.

What a relief you did not hear me practising the trombone last night. Pebbles in your ears, dear? Dont people normally use ear plugs?

*whispers* wots this I hear about fake tenners and thrupenny bits?

*

hello Susan, I have both arnica cream and witchhazel but I think its too late to apply any treatment, as the bruising has appeared in full Technicolour. It will heal ..... eventually.

Are you baking a birthday cake for dear Charles? Do look after him and his wife as well, the dear lady. They look very happy together; and one must accept that the past belongs in the past.

Yes how sad about the young American couple. A very cruel halt to what should have been a happy life. We've had a spate of car accidents in the UK recently, largely due to someone's negligence, like the man driving the wrong way into oncoming traffic.

Ohhhhhhh .. sigh .. a few moments ago I was very hot, so off came my blouse. Now I am cold so on with the blouse.

I went into M&S to purchase one pair of ladies unmentionables in a certain shade of blue. However, there was an offer, three pairs for £10. Then walking to the till to pay the £10, some clothes leapt off the rails and into my shopping trolley, demanding that I pay for them. What could I do. Then I went into Sainsco where I saw a chiffon-y type blouse, and that too fell into my trolley. I wonder if the geni was behind it, or just the devil. Whatever .... that one pair of unmentionables became very expensive !! :-D

CC