General Chat

Hello Ladies

I have had a wonderful afternoon :-) lots of cuddles smiles and chatter with baby E whom has put on three and a half ounces in a week :-D :-D :-D

I had forgotten about the superstition of sleeping with a piece of wedding cake under your pillow............ and I have never heard of ladies returning their attire after they had worn it, Ugh :-S

Teresa I'm sure your right with your guess I was heading 20 miles south :-D

Susan are you well :-)

Lesley

Good evening Dear Ladies.

What a horrid day today. How is Pat-trish-aaaah getting on with that Ark in the back garden Cherry? I hope she puts lots of pitch onto it. I do not want to go down with the Ship. Kate Twinset may look fetching up to her neck in water, but I do not want to try it.

Pleased you are feeling a little better today Teresa. Keep up with the chicken soup, and take gentle exercise................

Now Cherry dear, as I am the Fount of All Knowledge, I have the answers to your questions.

Saffron Walden is egg yolk yellow dear. What else would it be?

Bluewater is Azure blue. It goes with Blue Sky thinking!

Strangely enough, I do not think that Geronimo would be up in an aeroplane, but should he decide to skydive from one, I think he would shout.

Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

A little chilly tonight dears, I shall wrap myself in a pashmina, bedjacket and my snoozy hat.

Good night dears.
Auntie Petunia

~~~ to Teresa
keep up the good recovery, my dear.
CC

Oh dear Lesley, 20 miles away, now let me guess where you may have been ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)

It was not your fault that the bride and groom were a little one over the eight so to speak :-D they really are old enough to know better :-)

I'm feeling more myself ladies and will be back soon once normal service is resumed.

Teresa

good evening Petunia dear and Lesley

Petunia dear I have a question which I hope you might be able to answer, in your role as Agony Aunt to the world and his wife. Actually, there are three questions.

What colour is Saffron Walden? And, what shade is Bluewater??

And ... We all know that marines shout Geronimo!! when they jump out of airplanes, for some strange reason known only to themselves. What do you suppose Geronimo would shout if he jumped out of an airplane?

On the subject of returning things to dept stores. Many many moons ago, when the world was young and my bones and I were even younger, I was acquainted with someone who had worked in the clothing section of a large department store. They had a policy whereby their Account Customers (the well heeled, if not necessarily well bred) could take goods home on approval for a weekend and return said goods on Monday morning if not satisfied.

Many a "lady" whose husband was an Account Customer took an evening dress home 'on approval' on a Saturday morning, for return on the Monday morning, and the store were obliged to credit the account for the value of the dress - even when there were deodorant stains in the armpits and the garment stunk of perfume and cigarette smoke.

I wouldnt have the nerve to play that game. But, I am well bred, albeit not well heeled.

My cleaning lady is in for a shock tomorrow. I've done all the vacuuming through the house, to the end of the dinette, leaving the kitchen. When she turns up tomorrow to do the vacuuming, she is going to be told to redo the last three kitchen cupboards (which Dumb and Dumber cleaned with the cloth used to wash the porch floor), and wash all my baking trays and dishes which Dumb and Dumber dumped all over the kitchen floor (where the cat walks) the day they came in to clean the cupboards. I was too ill to sort this out last week, but I cannot use any of my baking trays until they are washed. Everything is so old its not dishwasher safe. When I pay someone to clean the cupboards that I cant kneel down to any more, surely it is not too much to expect them to use their common sense.

How would you deal with a recalcitrant cleaning firm Petunia dear? Oh you wouldnt. You have Pat rish aaaah ... and I.

CC

Good evening Ladies,

Lesley my dear, at least someone had to good sense to dress for the occasion.

I know of a wedding a few years ago, where the parents of the bridge of groom were the only ones properly attired.

The groom, who is a proper know all, and knows nothing, told all his friends to 'come casual' one turned up in a Hawaiin shirt! The groom himself was tie-less as was his Best Man, and the rest of the rabble also took it upon themselves to turn up as if was a shopping expedition. Comfy rather then smart.

The cake was never cut, and seeing as Mama and Papa paid for the lot, it was a very poor show.

Groom wanted off the wall photos too, so there is a whole albumn of people not looking at the camera, and taken totally off guard. Not impressed at all.

Cherry dear, I too have been to 'dos' in department stores. The last was when a Celebrity Chef was doing his bit in a well known store in the West End. No one was listening to his words of wisdom, they were too busy sighing over his pretty face.

Very disappointed about the cake dear, but would I really sleep with a piece under my pillow to dream of my true love? Unlikely! Would rather eat it!

Have a good evening dears
Auntie Petunia

I partly feel to blame for the consumption of champagne (by a possibly nervous bride) before the wedding :-( as both had been wed before and both already had homes there really wasn't anything they needed so our present was 6 bottles of bubbly delivered to their now family home, I should have known better :-(

CC I wonder how many purchases were returned to the department store after having being bought by people in a jolly mood and with a foggy head :-D

good afternoon Lesley, I trust you and your OH are fully recovered from the trials and imbibations of yesterday :-D Fancy going to a wedding improperly attired. A good job dear Petunia was not there. She'd have sent the lot of them back home, to get changed. And, they'd have gone. At least you set some standards :-)

The bride quaffed two bottles of champers beforehand eh?? Was she nervous?? :-D I remember when a posh department store I used to frequent held Special Events to which special customers were invited by Exclusive invitation only. Naturally, MFH and I always received an exclusive invitation - along with the bloomin world and his wife who'd shopped at that store in the past twelve months.

A free gift was always proferred, just for turning up, usually a nice box of choccies so I never failed to turn up. Wine and nibbles, or tea or coffee with biscuits, was on offer. One could queue for the wine, sip it while perusing around the store, then re-join the queue for more wine. Indeed, more wine was consumed, than tea or coffee.

I remember one particular Event, where we were standing in the bedding department trying to select a divan for the Offspring. Several Bright Young Things were nearby, screeching with tipsy laughter, as the gels bounced on the beds. Clearly, too much wine had been consumed between them.

But that is all in the dim and distant past now. We have "put our home together", so no longer purchase at that store, and the invitations have long since ceased. But, I think the Evening Events stopped anyway because the store started trading on a Sunday which suggests they have a Profit Flow problem.

Never mind about the wedding cake. Or, lack of it. At least the bride didnt do what someone of my acquaintance does with cakes - this person cuts a slice up into one-inch squares, and gives each family a square to take home.

CC

Good afternoon Ladies.

CC and Teresa I do hope you have fully recovered from your ailments and regained your strength :-)

Well what can I say about the wedding I attended yesterday :-S as the ladies that reside in the UK will know the weather was perfect for a wedding :-) when myself and MOG arrived it soon became apparent that I was the only guest wearing a hat again perfect :-) now dears some other guests I think might have come straight from the gym as tee shirts, jogging bottoms and trainers were their attire :-0 can you imagine.............a million miles from perfect :-( I soon turned my attention away from these people and focused on my dear friend whom was looking beautiful her smile her warm glow again perfect :-) or was it I was soon to learn she had consumed two bottles of champagne before arriving at the wedding venue :-0 by 8o'clock people could be heard saying we might as well leave now as the bride and groom are so drunk and wont notice :-( I managed to coax my MOG away at 10.30 and I drove the 20 miles home :-)

I don't want you dear ladies thinking I am against a tipple now and again:-D but I do like to think I haven't got to my age and not learnt where and when and how much is acceptable ;-)

Auntie Petunia the cutting of the wedding cake was performed and photographed but to my nowledge none was offered to the guests so unfortunately I am unable to share any with you :-(

Lesley

good morning Petunia dear, how reassuring that you are up with the larks this morning, as I did not wish to be talking to myself.

Very worrying about Teresa, I hope she is getting better and not forced to return to work far too soon than is good for a body.

I think its Sunday night in New Zealand so Susan will be sitting down to her evening Sunday Roast dinner, as we enjoy our bacon and eggs and fried bread and tomatoes. I always assume that Down Under is about 12 hours ahead of us, give or take about five hours. This means that if the world were to end tomorrow, we would receive plenty of notice.

Now dear, do take off that ridiculous mask. Oh, you have taken the mask off. May I suggest dear that you use a different night firming cream, it does nothing for your complexion.

When you take your turn with the flowers, do mind how you arrange the roses, I heard that the verger does not like the thorns in the vestry. What are your plans for Harvest Festival?

CC

Morning dear Ladies [that has a nice ring to it does it not?]

I hope Lesley regales us with tales of her wedding. I want to know what everyone wore, and I want a piece of cake sent down the cyber hatch too.

No Teresa again, I shall organise a search party if we do not hear by tonight.

Cherry dear, I am pleased you are no long infectious, but will keep the mask on indoors as a precaution. Susan dear, is it still Sunday there, or Monday? I get soooo confused with the time zones. If it is Sunday, what are you having for Sunday Dinner, if Monday, have a good day at work dear.

Now.................off to Church, my turn with the flowers this week, and I spend a good few hours on it. I will go and listen to the wonderful compliments that are bound to come my way.

Preening
Auntie Petunia

good afternoon Petunia dear. I just love your shoes, did you buy those at the Antiques stall at Camden Market? I believe that ancient clothing is highly prized, but do not like to see it highly priced.

Yes you are quite safe from infection, so do take the mask off now. Waste Not, Want Not. Save the mask for Halloween, which is just around the corner, metaphorically speaking. You can wear it to scare the neighbourhood children off when they come begging for pennies for the guy, or trick n treat. Alternatively, let Pat rish aaaah open the front door.

Odd you should mention your missing gardener. Mine is missing as well. Do you suppose they have run orft together? Mine was supposed to phone me for some extra work before next month, as well as confirm next month's day and time. I shall have to borrow your phone to ring him on Monday ..... my phone is being disinfected, you see :-D

Keanu Reeves was in a film where he and a girl kept time warping, I forget the actress's name, and I think the film was called The Lake House. They kept sending letters to each other "across the decades" and finally arranged a Present Time to meet, only (unknown to her) he was killed in a road accident outside her offices. She of course did not know this, and thought she'd been stood up. But, she realised what had really happened, eventually, and sent another message back in time, to tell him not to cross the road.

I have been googling some Caithness on Tinternet, and am amazed at some of the prices. I am not parting with my few humble pieces, not for any price. Unless the price was right, of course!! ;-)

CC

Good afternoon dear Ladies,

I had an early night last night, as I had an early start this morning.

I had to go and purchase a pair of shoes in the West End. As you know, high button boots are increasingly hard to find. However, I did manage to find a rather naice pair of shoes at the department store, where it has a Royal Warrant. The one that has an advert on the television of late, where a boy and gel, in different time warps, get together. That young gel reminds me of myself, with her drop waist dress, cloche hat and lisle stockings. I will leave them in the box, so they do not get scratched. I think I will put some polish on them before wearing too. I do so like new shoes, in fact, any shoes.

I do believe dear Lesley has her nuptials this week-end. The sun is shining, so I wonder if she plumped for the sadals after all.

Is dear Upsidedown Susan from EndZed? When I met her earlier this year, she hardly had an accent at all. She also commented that mine was like cut glass. At least, I think that is what she said!

I am pleased you are feeling better dear Cherry, is it safe to take of the mask yet?

No news of dear Teresa, I do hope she is on the mend.

The window boxes are very sad now, only a few flowers yet, I think it is time to empty out the old flowers, and plant spring bulbs. When I say me..............of course I do not mean me......................I shall get the gardener to do it.

Mine you, he has been conspicuous my his absence, I wonder who has frightened him off? Pat-trish-aaaaah before she came back to her usual lumpy self I suspect. Blonde Bombshell indeed!

Piffle!
Auntie Petunia

Where am I? Is this St Elsewhere? I keep seeing a spectral figure dressed in surgical greens and a face mask ..... oh, its YOU, Petunia dear. Do please be assured, I am no longer infectious if past experience of this illness is anything to go by. You are quite safe, but do please be careful while going out and about doing your Good Works. You dont know who else could be harbouring germs "out there". I suggest you hold your breath when passing by!! :-D

*tut* just look at that bruise from where I fell on the floor just over a week ago. Have you seen so many shades of blue and green?

Do tell me, pray, why did your lady neighbour decide to have the honeysuckle ripped out? Was she annoyed with her Spouse?

As it happens - ahem - my wedding was on a tight budget as well. I wore a full length, full skirted, lacy wedding dress but it was bought in the January sales, saving me a small fortune. Fortnum & Masons was not available to provide the catering, so Mama made me hire a local caterer who turned out not to be just cheap, but cheap-skate, and if that wasnt bad enough the reception was like the church - bride's family on one side, and groom's family t'other side of the hall, and no fraternising in the middle.

*

Hello Susan, alas because of a pre existing medical condition I am unable to eat rice or pasta. I cannot digest apple, and I am not supposed to eat potato or bread either. I've been living on boiled water and toast however, and last night managed to eat a piece of breaded fish with some mash, for "the bulk".

On Sunday, I'd taken a piece of chook out of the freezer, to defrost for my dinner, before I took ill. It never got cooked and remained in the fridge and I had to throw it away yesterday, also a half can of soup I opened on Saturday then couldnt finish off. Am now praying that my OH doesnt catch this illness but at least he wont take it from me as the standard incubation period has passed.

MFH and I have also been in the situation where we were both ill with GE at the same time ..... Youngest Offspring was only a baby at the time and I still remember how hellish it was caring for her, MFH holding me up as I knelt down to change nappies so I didnt collapse over her. And the worry, because the children had to be fed and I was so scared that in doing their meals I'd infect them. We had no one to come in and help care for the children. Still, we survived.

Do put me right please .. I dont think I have asked this before. I was told many moons ago that if a Kiwi is mistaken for an Aus, the Kiwi gets very upset. But, if an Aus is mistaken for a Kiwi, the Aus finds it amusing. Is this true? To the English ear, the accents sound very similar, and I certainly cant hear any difference in the accent between North and South Aus, tho I know there is one only discernible to another Aus. I wouldnt know if someone was from Darwin or Tasmania, and this is in spite of all the antipodean TV shows I've watched down the years.

No sign of Teresa yet, I see. I hope the poor dear continues to recover well, but it will take time. I still feel very weak and woozy, although I've managed to push the vacuum cleaner around the upstairs and put some laundry away in the airing cupboard.

CC

BRAT food for CC and Teresa,

Apparently after a sick tummy, BRAT food is de riguer. Banana's, rice, apples and toast :-D.

Though which combinations you choose is entirely up to you ;-).

Some years ago, my OH and I went down at the same time with a bug, due to chicken :-D. We have never been so ill... In fact my OH looked like a skeleton by the time the bug had finished with him.... Oooh dear, not happy memories.

We have a very nice zoo in Auckland if your sat navs ever bring you to our neck of the woods ladies ;-).

Looks like we are in for a lovely weekend weather wise. At last. I hope to get outdoors after I have finished indoors :-(. The hedge chopper has left alot of root and twigs about. I wish to dispose of them before the chopper returns on Monday for stage 2. I shall send pics in due course.
Our neighbourhood is a hive of activity at the moment. Trees being trimmed, driveways replaced. It is all go.

I am awaiting my OH's return from work.., He has had a very busy week with several very late finishes. There is a beer or three chilling in the fridge and waiting for him.. It is home made fish and chups for dinner. I do mean chips, but according to the aussies, we kiwi's say "chups". I , of course, disagree heartily and very vociferously :-S.
Ah, the trans tasman love/hate relationship will be a 'forever' I think.

Better go and get me 'tattie's in the oven.

Toodle pip,
Susan

Dons paper mask and latex gloves, and green surgical gown and boots.

Can you hear me dear Friends?

Oooooh-eerrrrr! I dont fancy getting the Running Trots one little bit. I will have to have my flu-jab very soon, and dont want to miss it. The Doctor may give my dose to another deserving soul, and then I will be wanting.............

Ah Bridal Shows, I went to one of those. Lots of mirrors, and a little smoke too, I'll be bound. When a young acquaintance of mine was getting married, Mama ordered a lot of stuff of tinternet. They got very nice Favour Boxes which were engraved with the names of Bride and Groom. All the contents for such, loose, and made up the boxes themselves, and saved themselves a packet. The Dress was bought from a shop which specialised in making Samples [luckily the Bride was a teeny gel] and got it at Cost. So savings all around. The Dress and Favours were commented on lavishly, so no-one was any the wiser. You gotta be shrewd sometimes.

Yes dears, tis a year since we were standing in the rain in Highgate Cemetery, but we have made a new friend in Beatrice. She will never replace dear Lavinia, but she seems a reasonable soul, and we will welcome her into our enclave.............until she upsets us that is.

The Hedge Trimmer dear Upsidedown Susan. Soundss like a sketch from the Two Ronnies. The Phantom Hedge Trimmer of Old London Town. A neighbout of mine a few years ago, had a wonderful honeysuckle all along her back wall, beautiful yellow blooms with a heavenly scent. Her gentleman walker husband went orft to work, and by the time he arrived home in the evening, it was gorn. He was a little annoyed we believe. We could hear the shouting and the door slamming through the walls.

Do take care dears, I am putting myself in isolation I think, no nasty germs for me!

Night Night All
Auntie Petunia

Five trips to the loo eh? dear Petunia? I would never have thought of that and it gives me much relief to know that five pennies can be so well spent.

Yes I am still wrapped in cotton wool, self-coddling myself in your absence, and I dont know where Pat rish aaaah is right now, for, like my cat, she comes and goes as she pleases. That gel wears such skimpy smalls now, she will end up with the same problem she'd get if she sat on damp walls or cold radiators.

Of course I had not forgotten poor Lavinia at Highgate Cemetery nor the strange ending of Mister Lavinia. I do hope the horses have recovered now.

*

I hope Susan dear that your errant hedge cutter provides a better service with the fencing job.

Enjoy these bridal forays, perhaps you could just tell your daughter "you can want it as much as you like", if she sets her heart on a gown identical to the one Catherine of Cambridge wore ... for the same price. It used to work for me, when my offspring watched TV adverts then demanded this toy/that toy/the latest gimmick. I would reply : of course dear, you can want it as much as you like.

*

Teresa I am so sorry to learn that you too have suffered the same malady and hope you are well on the road to recovery. My MIL was also afflicted, and the only thing we had in common was Kings Lynn but thats in Norfolk and you are in Essex so I suppose this is the start of the National Norovirus Season, and I cannot blame the Caithness Cafeteria after all.

Last night I managed to eat a slice of bread with a piece of ham and drank a cup of tea, and this morning I had toast and tea. Have now cracked open the organic carrot juice, which is supposed to be binding, and will be nibbling on some more arrowroot biscuits which are also supposed to be binding. I havent been on the scales since the end of last week but have no doubt I've dropped a few lbs. I can see my ankle bones as well as the veins on my feet. Am now fretting about how long it will take me to pile those lbs back on ..... I dont want to be fat again.

Having fallen asleep over the TV shows I wanted to watch, I woke up at nearly midnight and was wide awake, so I finished reading Les Mis, a most fascinating tome, and right at the end of the novel I learned that in the 19thC gastro enteritis was known as petit-cholera .. little cholera. I've had GE several times in my life, and never known that before. Certainly I thought I was dying of dysentery, at one point. I have never known a time in my life when I could not face a bar of chocolate. *tut* and with Christmas so close too.

I started reading another book - a complete contrast to Les Mis. No less than Terry Pratchett's Maskerade :-D I'd read it before, having borrowed it from Offspring, but bought my own copy having decided I should read it again because TP was inspired by Phantom of the Opera, in particular the Masquerade sequence, which was a simply brilliant piece of choreography.

Alas I am old enough to remember when five pence had the buying power of five pence and one could purchase five penny chews. I will follow dear Petunia's advice and save my money for visits to the Ladies at Liverpool Street Station, where no Man has gone before.

We never took the Offspring to Lowestoft, that was a zoo too far for us. Just London Zoo, Whipsnade, and Linton. One expects zoos to be educational of course, but that was one practical biology lesson too many :-D

*

Well - two down - how many to go?

CC

Ha ha, Another zoo is in Lowestoft. FTY went there on a school trip many moons ago. I have not visited it yet :0)

Cherry dear, I too have been struck down with the same bug as you. I was at paid toil on Tuesday was as happy as Larry when suddenly whoosh, there was the bug. I was dispatched home and have slept on and orff ever since. I have had water and dry crumpets today and yesterday. The joy of it is I have lorst 4lbs in weight :0)
I do hope you are feeling better now and congratulations on your win. 5pence will buy a penny chew.

Lesley, when I wasa little younger and a student in the late 1970s I worked as a Saturday girl in W and Gs. It was then owned by the original family. I think a large retailer now owns it. Its not quite the same any more but has lovely clothes in it. When I was a small child I got lost from my Mum in there. Oh dear what a panic. The layout is almost the same. Like a Hampton Cout Maze! Hugs to baby E :0)

Goodness Susan, you have the phantom Hedge trimmer there by the sounds of it. Good luck with venue shopping :0)

Auntie is it really a year since dear Lavania departed. I remember those horses! I wonder what she would make of Pattys transformation :0)

Orff now to get another glass of water. I am also off the sweet stuff and the thought of chocolate..........................................................................................

Yours a littlle green about the gills

Teresa

Good morning ladies,

I have been absent these last few mornings as my fruit has accompanied me home after out morning constitutional and then proceeded to commandeer my laptop and visit 'bridal' pages........
The puppy has watched me eat my breakfast this morn, she has moaned and groaned and growled in the hope I might share my cereal :-S, no chance puppy !!

CC, I hope you are much recovered, Petunia, I hope you are feeling a little brighter.
Lesley, pleased to hear that E is not in need of the Doctor again :-).

~~~~ to Teresa.

The man who 'trimmed' our hedge to within an inch of its life :-| , is returning today to take out the hedge and start building our new fence....... :-(. At least it will tidy up the area permanently.

I am orf with fruit this afternoon to check out a wedding venue in another town. I know it is not cheap so don't think we will end up there, but, never say never I guess.

Better be on my merry way, I am to escape work early today - hooray :-).

Toodle,

Susan