General Chat

Good evening dear Ladies,

You see, I told you that we have people watching us. Dear Cherry and I noticed that before when it was just plain 'Auntie Motie'. They like to see what we are up to, but do not contribute.

We did have one brought up young gel, who told us it was the funniest thing she had ever read, but then contributed no more.................

Lesley dear, I am a little alarmed at the Football coat of arms. Especially West Ham dear. I seem to remember dear little Bobby Moore playing for them, and of course the 1966 World Cup Team. My only foray into watching footie.

One knows of a gentleman and his son, who shout and cuss at the football when it is on the television. The noise is quite unbearable. They are experts too, they could tell them where they are going wrong...............

Ah visitors dear Upsidedown Susan. Like fish, they stink after three days. Titters. I always make sure my visitors know when to go home. I get Pat-trish-aaaaah to start sweeping up vigorously. The dust goes up, makes them sneeze and cough, and they take their leave.

Cherry dear, I liked your jokes about the paint dear. Technicolour indeed. You will be telling me I have put it on upsidedown soon. Tutty tut.

Lightheadedness, needs one head thrust between their knees dear. And dont inhale. Was that not the motto of one American politician?

One last thing before I toodle off to dinner gels, yes dear Upsidedown Susan, we ARE well brought up young gels, who are polite and gracious, and have terrific social skills and intelligent conversations.

And if you beg to differ again................I shall biff you on the boko!!!!!!!

Smiling sweetly
Auntie Petunia

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ to Susan :-D
yes indeed the wandering cat has been the subject of much fuss and feeding and Mama is able to sleep again.

Lesley there is a cure for your feeling of lightheadedness. Never sniff, and dont inhale :-D !!

CC

Good afternoon.

CC I had not noticed how many viewers of this thread there had been :-S since you have mentioned the fact there have been three more that are peeping in and not commenting :-| their loss ;-)

Perhaps some netting over your grass seed will help stop the birds eating your seeds Susan :-) on the other hand I have images of the puppy having great fun getting tangled in the netting :-D maybe not such a good idea :-(

I feel I must away for a lie down :-) the talk of psychedelia, weed and hallucinations has left me feeling quite lightheaded :-S

Deary me, Motie Towers will be positively psychodelic before we know it... Look out for any one called Austin ringing your door bell Petunia....
Mind , it could be the weed causing one to hallucinate?

Mercy be CC, your mama is saved anymore undue worry over her puddy tat..

Petunia, do you really think we adhere to Rule 1 :-D. I mean , I am sure we do, but perhaps our peeps disagree?
Come one come all, leave your calling card, you can be sure Petunia will suss you out toute suite ;-).

Lesley, I have a lovely new fence that I will need to paint, I have some lovely new grass seed that the ruddy birds assume is for their delight..... I must say, me fencer was a bit light on the seed he threw about my bare patches. No doubt I shall have to procure more seed and try and beat the dratted birdies at their own game... No , I wont be eating the seed. Unless of course I get muddled with the weed :-D.

I am off to the big smoke at an ungodly hour in the morn.. I shall drop in again on my return.

PS: Lesley, I am sure your posterior is not that over sized ;-). Happy gardening.

Susan - off to the land of nod

Good evening ladies I trust you are all keeping well.

I am so pleased to read your Mama's cat has returned home safe and well CC :-) I assume by know it is sufficiently fed, watered and warmed,

Orf to play bridge Petunia.........that is one came I have never played........ I haven't got enough friends :-( so will just carry on playing solitaire ;-)

Like many others I have been trying to get my garden tidy in readiness for winter :-) I love nothing better than to lose myself or get lost in what seems like a wilderness :-0 the cutting of the hedge is one job I will NOT attempt our eldest partner has promised to cut it for the second time this year :-) I really should take a leave out of your book Susan having a fence to replace the hedge is very appealing to me :-)

Teresa when you are passing through MY village (does that qualify me for top of the list Dear Auntie) if you see an over sized posterior protruding from a garden you will know it's mine :-D :-D :-D

My word Petunia dear, you are a quick change artist, from blue shot silk, to emerald green. I must say though, the spangles and sequins reflect the glow from the gaslight quite beautifully. The soft lighting is even very flattering on your wrinkles, they hardly show tonight.

I think you are going to have to drag some people in here, with the crook of your parasol, to get them to socialise. But, do be very selective dear. We dont want self opiniated riff raff taking up space on the chaise longue, all Monologues so no one else can get a word in backwards or sideways, let alone edgeways.

What about the Pink Room and the Orange Room, in the West Wing? And the Brown Room, in the South Wing. Are the colour schemes to be changed there as well? You might like to consider Tartan paint, or striped paint, or rainbow paint, to liven things up. Do be sure the decorator tests the plumb line carefully, before he uses it.

Ahem I didnt mean weeds that grow in the garden. I meant weed that ... oh never mind. Weed better not say any more about that. A rose could be considered a weed, if it is growing in the wrong place. Of course, a rose cannot be smoked.

*sigh* In my day, a rubber meant something else entirely. Pardon?? Why, we erased with it, what did you think I meant? oh, shame on you. Beatrice looks a little bit shifty at times, doesnt she. And the way she shuffles the cards. Perhaps that is how she made her money? Are you sure there is no room for me at the table? I play a mean hand of Gin Rummy or Whist, or Chase The Ace. All right dear, I will create a cocktail of lemonade and cherryade, and get some peanuts and crisps, to go with the club sandwiches. Your green eyeshade needs polishing dear, its started to get rather steamy.

Have you seen my Eric Morecambe impression with a plastic beaker ? Look ............ :-D

CC
Did you know that there are basically only three types of people in the world - those who can count, and those who can't.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, aaaaah dear Aretha singing her dear little heart out.

That lovely Lisa Riley did an impressive cha-cha to it. As you know I do love to dance, and have worn the emerald green ballgown tonight.

Ah Cherry dear, I believe you are thinking of dear Carol Channing where she turned her curtains into a dress. She even had the curtain pole across her shoulders. One did titter at that.

I am so pleased the animals on here are fine. Cherrys' Mamma puddy tat has returned, and that dear Susans pup is thriving.

I too have noticed that we have viewers to our little tete-a-tetes. May I extend an invitation to join us if you so wish.

We have little rules to our social circle, but here they are.

1. You must be polite people well versed in intelligent conversation.

2. Where you live does not concern us. But mansions are put to the top of the list.

3. You must have a sense of humour.

There now, that is not too much to ask, is it?

I have been looking at trade cards today, I fancy a change of colour in the bedrooms.

As you well know we have the Lilac Room, the Primrose Room, the Blue Room and the Green Room.

I think we may change this to Coffee au Lait, Morning Skylight, Tropical Azure and Daybreak Cerise. They have a nice exotic ring to them I do declare.

I hope Teresa and Lesley are well. I do fret when my chums do not appear.

Cherry dear, I do not allow weed in my garden. Do you mean to say the gardener is not doing his job properly. Although I am reliably informed a week is a plant that is growing somewhere it shouldnt. Then again, what do I know?

Susan dear, your puppy licking you is fine. It is when you take it into your head to lick it back, that is when you are in trouble. Think of the furballs dear.

The gels are coming around tonight for a rubber dears. No doubt Beatrice will make up the four. There is something about her I am still not sure of. Even with all her money.....................time will tell, gels, time will tell.

Aha, the bell. Pat-trish-aaaaaah be a dear, dear, and open the door. And bring up the club sandwiches too dear. We must be fed while we play bridge.

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ waves to one and all, and the invisible readers who never leave a calling card ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am delighted to announce that the cat came home last night. Mama phoned very late, in fact I was already in the Land Of Slumbers, so I didnt receive the message until this morning. Mama opened the garden door after 10.30 pm to find the cat sitting on the doorstep, and not a word of explanation for her absence. She seems in fair health, apart from being very hungry suggesting she had got locked in somewhere, possibly a shed or greenhouse. All is well, that ends well.

Ah Petunia dear - speaking of Patrick. I have placed an order for a CD of the music from Downton Abbey, and one of the tracks is called ... Patrick !! when I play it loud enough to rock the rafters, I hope it does not give you sad reminisces.

One is rather surprised that, While you were paying for a tin of volcanic vapour, you didnt look for a can of London Fog as well, or a can of rainbow coloured paint. Or, striped paint. I heard your morning chestiness the other day, and thought it was the gardener trying out his latest weed beneath the window.

I do like your midnight blue shot-silk gown dear. it is a very pretty garment. It rather puts me in mind of a pair of your curtains which I havent seen for a while ...... the midnight blue shot-silk drapes that used to hang in the morning room in the North Wing of Motie Towers. Now, if it were your cousin Scarlett, she'd have turned the drapes into an outfit in no time.

An introduction to batchelors, dear? Why would anyone wish to be introduced to a packet of soup?

*

Ah the wanderer returns Susan-nz, lovely to see you. I'm pleased to hear that the puppy is doing so well and eating you out of House and Home. That is how it should be. My own cat woke me at 6 am the other morning, by banging on the base of the divan, to tell me to open the bedroom window before she used her litter tray.

Where are Teresa and Lesley today?

CC

Good morning ladies,

I am returned... I have had a few family members to stay for a few days. :-D. Visitors are lovely, when they leave it is pure bliss... I don't really mean that - or I think I don't :-S.

Fruit and I are away for a couple of days next week. Fruit is orf to collect 'the' ring. I suggested she should wait until home with her beau to put it on her finger. Cats chance in you know where of that happening....

Circus, I don't care for a circus, though we have seen Cirque du Something a couple of times and they were very impressive. Animal's in a circus seems to be a thing of the past... Petunia dear, I did have a vision of you flying on the high wire :-D.

CC, I hope your Mama's puddy tat has returned home?. Naughty puddy..
I was given a wakeup 'kiss' by the puppy this morning.. Luckily for her I am too change the sheets today, muddy paw prints, bah humbug..
While here, puppy did comsume one whole apple, unpeeled, stalk and all and one peeled banana ;-). There are not many, if any, foodstuffs that puppy won't eat. She has very clean teeth. Do you know , well of course you don't so I shall tell you. She nows weighs 22kg, she was a paltry 14kg when fruit got her. She still looks lean but not through hunger I can assure you.

OOh, I can hear my fencer outside, he has come to finish off the job. I had better go and supervise.

Back later,
Toodle pip
Susan

Good evening dears,

Cherry dear, I do so hope that Puss Puss has come home. All domestic animals are part of the family, and I do know I would be lost without Trickey. I know that cats are a little more independent than dogs, but any missing pets are a loss to their owners. I shall keep my fingers crossed that you say poor Puss has returned home.

The circus was a little disappointing. I remember when I was in Russian I saw a spiffing circus, but that was when it was full of trapeze artist, animals and clowns that knocked seven bells out of each other. That was before the advent of health and safety. The Liberty horses were my favourite. Those white horses dancing were a treat.

I took your advice dear and did indeed go to the Health Food Shop. What a variety of jars and containers. I managed to get a carton of coconut water, a bottle of snake oil, and a tin of volcanic vapour. The oil to ease my joints, and the vapour to ease my chestiness in the mornings.

I am orft to the Parlour now, to get ready for the Dancing Programme. Never one to not dress for the occasion, I have got Pat-trish-aaaah to lay our my Ballgown. The midnight blue shot-silk. My diamonte slippers, and I will have feathers in my hair.

In my sweet little Alice Blue gown. Waltzes around the bedroom.

Ah, I remember when I was a debutante, and I came out..........................it meant something different in those days. It meant that one was introduced to eligible batchelors. Ones with high standards and high morals.

Unfortunately, I drew a dud card..........................................poor Patrick.

Off to dress!!!!!

Auntie Petunia

hello Teresa, you are looking and sounding much better. Are you back at work already? Alas modern life does not give us the opportunity to recuperate properly from these little and not so little ailments. For example, I think being sent back to work six weeks after a hysterectomy or appendectomy is far too soon. When aye was a gel, it was six months r&r.

Yes I too hope the cat comes home very soon. No phone call yet so I have to assume she is still missing. Mum wont sleep tonight, I know that. Cats arent just "a cat", they are one of the family.

*

Well Petunia I wondered where all you gels slipped orf to after dinner. Leaving me alone, to contend with Pat rish aaaah and her mood swings, not having any inkling what was in the wind, except for the rain out there. Then again I have often said I do not like circuses so perhaps you did me a backhanded kindness. Instead of a backhander .....

Monday night I slipped out to visit Oldest Offspring, to get my toenails cut, and we drove past a rather large Big Top by the Lea Valley Centre.

Word of warning - if a manic clown rushes up to you shouting "Hello Dave" ... do not under any circumstances go with him. He collects women and marries them.

My palms have not yet produced coconuts which is just as well as I would not wish one to fall on my head. It just produces baby palms, for which I am desperate to find homes .. with a very comprehensive Care Guide supplied by me free gratis and without strings attached - it reads something like "look after this palm or you will have me to deal with". This is the first year that the seed pods have dropped fertile seeds that developed.

May I suggest that if you want coconut water, you try a health food shop.

I have today discovered what Bilbo Baggins' favorite song is. Sung by Frank Sinatra, it is called "You're Getting To Be A Hobbit With Me".

Please make sure that your cronies see you safely home. And dont let the sawdust get between your toes ...... it has the same effect as sand - gets everywhere !

CC

ps - who did throw that lolly stick? It wasnt me - I wasnt there.

Whispers# Good evening dears, I am speaking via the Blooooooberry.

Guess where I am? Go on! Try! Go on, have a go! No? Very well, then, I will tell you.

I am in a CIRCUS!!!!!! Yes honestly, a big striped tent in the middle of the Heath! Honest and true, and cross my stays!

I was missing yesterday, as of course, I have notice of the arrival, and had to supervise the encampment, the pitching, the erecting and inspect the acts.

This Circus is called..............erm, what is it called? Something to do with a cigarette lighter...........erm, crumbs, I had it on the tip of my tongue.............erm, let me think....................Slippos.

It is one of the few traditional Circuses left in the country, and does not include animals. So no elephants to frighten the horses.

We are sitting ringside and I am flanked by Octavia and Georgianna. Beatrice may join us later, if she can get a babysitter for her husband. He is reverting to childhood, and needs a nightnurse to care for him.

I must say she must be very good, as his little eyes light us whenever her name is mentioned. Nurse Dixon she is called. She has had books written about her, so her reputation goes before her.

Now Cherry dear, please do not take umbridge dear. As you know I have VERY many things that I have to juggle at the same time. I shall repeat the words of the sainted Ms Booth and repeat I am not Superwoman. If I seems a little curt then it is because I have already answered that question in my mind,and moved on to another.

Yes please dear, I would love a palm. Does it produce coconuts? I have heard that coconut water is very beneficial to health.

Teresa dear, I never, every Doodle. If I do not know the answer to something, then it is probably not worth knowing! I hope the batch cooking will be sent this way dear. I dont think I can survive all night on warm cola and a box of popcorn.

Lesley dear, babies are meant to be kissed delicately like butterfly wings. Not have great chunks taken out of their limbs. Ah Chelmsford...........................no sorry have not been there. There are only a few towns that have not had the pleasure of my presence. I am sure they would have remembered if I had visited there.

No Susan tonight? Probably because she is now at toil on Friday. Her weekend comes faster than ours.



Oooooh, here comes the clowns. I shall give them my rendition from a Little Night Music................................ahem.

Send in the Clowns............................Send in the clowns.


Who threw that lolly stick?

Disgruntled
Auntie Petunia

I do hope the little cat is found Cherry dear :-( as you know my dear Husband does not have animals in the house but we have next door but ones cats who wander our garden. Even my OH wondered where the scruffy ginger Tom had got to when he had not seen him for a few weeks. The dear ginger had been AWOL in other gardens and seemed to have got fed up with ours but he is back on his old stomping ground now :-D

I have indeed finished the card Lesley and a couple of handmade decorations for FTE to hang up in her cabin :-D

Do not be fuddled Auntie, just google and all life's answers will be there :-D

Susan, do slow down dear or you will see yourself coming back from where you have been. I do that all the time. It makes one a little dizzy to say the least :-S

Tootle pip for now, just off to tend the batch cooking of many yummy dishes ;-)

Teresa

my dear lady Mama telephoned, she is most distraught. This morning her cat did a runner from the back garden (which is surrounded by other back gardens). Not sure why - the cat does not normally wander off - but there are roadworks in the front of their house and the noise could have fightened the cat, who is a very timid animal at the best of times. Mama has notified the RSPCA and the Pet Chip people, in case someone finds the cat and "hands her in", and also put a notice in the newsagent window. I suggested a flyer tied to a lamp post, and perhaps printing off a few dozen "Cat Missing" notes to post through letterboxes and I dont know what else to suggest. But I know how she feels, as my cat has wandered off, often enough.

CC

well good afternoon all and I trust this finds you well ..... :-D

I have had a spiffing day, pottering around outside clipping here and there. The gardener checked for weeds and filled a trug. I'd asked him to extract four palm tree saplings before he started weeding, so I got the four and was potting them up when he told me he'd found another two hidden away beneath other plants. These are also now potted up. Six in all ....... I've never before known my palm tree to be so fecund, in all the years I've had that tree. I potted up quite a few last year as well. The problem is ... I'm running out of people to give the palms to.

This is the first time this year that I have stopped panicking about the garden. I really felt I'd lost control over it but thanks to the man who comes round now I am "back on track" for the seasonal work.

Petunia dear, would you like me to save a palm for you? They grow well in pots and tubs which bonsai's the root system. However if put in the ground they can grow to a great height, so best kept for the end of the garden but not too near a fence in case of high winds.

Well really - you promote yourself as the Fount of All Knowledge, and tell us to come to you with our questions and queries. Then, when I do, what do I get? Your response was so tart, you should be a cooking apple. ;-)

*eyes Lesley very warily* Put your teeth away dear :-D

CC

Auntie Dear would it be a good idea to give Pat-trish-aaaah a little incentive to get the Ark finished before Saturday :-) if the weather forecast is to be believed I think you may be in need of it ;-)

20 miles south is the Green Green Grass of my old home town:-D Chelmsford.

CC I'm loving your name "CherryCrumbles":-) licks lips;-) Yes E gets an extra gentle squeeze every time I see her and I always tell her who it's from :-)

Teresa have you had a chance to finish the Christmas card you were making for FTE?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~to the dashing Susan.

Lesley

Good evening dear Ladies,

Well.......................our dear Upsidedown Susan really is like that lovely John Walker.......a Flying Kiwi.

She was here, then she was gorn! Come back soon dear.

Lesley, do tell where your 20 miles south is dear, I am still very much in the dark.

Oh dear Cherry, we started building the Ark at the beginning of Summer [laughs] when the Summer refused to co-operate. I think Pat-trish-aaaah is doing a sterling job, on her hands and knees with her btm in the air, and the nails in her mouth. Who would have thought that a rubber hammer could work so well.

Now back to you questions dear. I dont know it is like having a child, always asking 'Why?' Thank goodness I was not encumbered, I would have had little patience with the constant barrage.

Now as you know there is no tomorrow. We look forward to tomorrow, then when it comes, it is today, and when it is gone, it is yesterday. So we are living history, only we shall not see it, only those who come after..........................Phew!!!!!

Mr Titchmarsh may not need decking, but he will certainly need laying out should his delightful chat show be returning...............

And where does the dark go? We are in constant darkness dear, it is only when we kid ourselves that there be light, and we pay out bills, then the darkness hides in corners. Have you never heard of dark corners dear? That is where the dark is hiding.

Crikey I feel quaite exhausted now. I shall hang up my gown and mortice board, and go and watch the things I have recorded, and have not watched. Unless of course I forgot which tapes I used, and have recorded over the recorded programmes. In which case, I will watch them instead.

Befuddled
Auntie Petunia

Morning Ladies,

Just a quick visit to say I am still in the land of the living, back another time.

Good news about E, Lesley :-).

Nice to see you on deck Teresa.

~~~~~ to Petunia and CC.

Toodle pip

good evening all !

what Ark in the back garden, Petunia dear? Have I missed something? Or have you been Time Warping again? I wondered what Pat rish aaaah was doing outside, with all that pitch, I assumed she was making torches to light the way for someone. Or to set fire to something ...... Speaking of which - can I set fire to those dreadful Wonga puppets?? That will warm us all up!!

Thank you so much for answering my little queries. It helps me to put my world back into perspective ;-)

Another little question or three, if I may, please.

At what point in our lives do we become living history?

Does Alan Titchmarsh need decking?

Where does the dark go, when we turn the lights on?

*
~~~ to Lesley, I hope you gave the darling infant a hug from me, while you were at it :-D

*
~~~ to Teresa, thank you for the cake ... now see what you have done? all the weight I lost last week has piled back on my midriff and hips.

We took our Offspring to Audley End a few times as well, its a good place for an afternoon out in the fresh air.

I had an extended lunch break today, and sat down to watch a movie .... while I was still awake. It was a Chilean drama, with subtitles, broadcast on BBC4. An interesting storyline. Not exciting, but interesting. I should have been cleaning of course, but my chores got done eventually.

CC

:-D :-D :-D Lesley

I have some nice pashminas Auntie dear from a lady who lunches once a year when she returns from warmer shores than ours :-D tis time OH cranked up the heating.

Saffron Walden Auntie? We have often dragged the protesting fruits to the wonderful house which is there, the rooms I am sure must compare to your own and the gardens are a delight.

Cherry I'm slinging a bit of article roll your way, yes it's still on sale and tastes just as it did when I was at school :-D

Waving to Susan, I seem to have lost the waves now!

Toodle pip for now


Teresa :-)