General Chat

Good evening dear Ladies,

I have been on an errand of mercy - AGAIN.

Poor Octavia has had this Norvo and Knox virus that is doing the rounds. As you know it lays one very low. She has spent most of the last two days in the smallest room, not a pretty sight at all. Especially when she had the bucket between her knees!!

I have been a real Angel to her. I have been starving her to get the bugs out of her system, but making sure she has plenty of fluids so that she does not get dehydrated. I am sure Teresa will approve.

I have decided to stay here until she is up and running again, so will not be able to help you ladies out if the need arises. I am sure you will understand.

Why are you laughing dears? Did I say something funny?

I will indeed look on my Hee-mails, it must be important for you to remind me to look. I am very curious now. And we all know what happened to the Cat.

I hope you are all now wearing you Liberty Bodices with the rubber buttons dears, we all need to keep our chesticles warm in this chilly weather. Make sure it is long enough to cover your kidneys too dears. We do not want any waterwork problems do we?

By the by Cherry dear, why are you not parading in your finest in your Avatar dear. I particularly like the Alice Blue Gown you used to wear....................

Must dash dears, I can hear Octavia tinkling her bell again, do you know? I am sure I was cut out to be a proper Florence, I can see myself looking comely and considerate, and I think the lamplight would be advantageous to my complexion.

Dont know about taking to my bed for 10 years though.....................

Night night all
Auntie Petunia

full training will be given !!! :-D

This "vacancy" was put on a government website, by person or persons unknown (who are now being hunted). It was mentioned on the news, in detail, and went viral ....... In my view, the person or persons unknown, if apprehended, should be knighted !! ;-)

No problem CC :-D

I'm more worried about handling a beautiful Russian lady double agent :-0

I forgot about the crocodiles, Lesley - can you tiptoe over the backs of a clutch of crocs basking in the water, without waking them up ??? :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D CC

Have sent my application off :-D

Just need to get up to speed putting my wet suit on ;-)

do please check your email accounts ......... !!!!!
:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

'ello and good evening h'all. Brrrrrr, hasn't it been cold and damp today. I wont have to water my garden for goodness knows how long. It's as soggy as the moggy when she comes in from the rain.

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Teresa, thank you for the cyber sponge. do you think if I share my sponge with Lesley, she will share her green tea with me? There is a slight problem however, I dropped my sponge in the bathtub this morning and now its very soapy.
Please, dear, keep Inspector Corner of the Yard under control, he tried to frisk me today. And his hands were very cold.

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Well done Susan, getting your OH an anniversary card but not getting one from him in return. Now you have the upper hand ... make sure you use it wisely :-D

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Ah there you are Petunia dear, I have been searching all over the Towers for you. I was starting to think I was in a scene from The Lady Vanishes. You look much better today. Pale and Interesting suits you, but do you think you should dress all in white? Your outfit today reminds me of a lady I once knew, called Miss Haversham. And in some Oriental lands, white is worn at bereavements, so Sergeant Klinger told me, he serves MASH doncha know.

Well, dear Petunia, you can no longer complain about my Hambush River purchases, for I fear the internet fever has caught you too. It is amazing what bargains one can find, that one didnt know one needed. You really should not mention Alfie Boe in my hearing ...... the excitement is bad for me. What a voice. I still have not recovered from that concert outside Buckingham Palace, where Alfie switched from O Sole Mio, in fine operatic mode, to It's Now Or Never, a la Elvis. *fans self furiously*

Did I tell you, I also grew up in a Victorian barn. Our legs turned bright blotchy red if we sat in front of the coal fire, but if we moved away from the fire we turned into icicles. Linoleum on the floor. Sash cord windows. Grates that needed raking out every morning. Tin baths on a Friday night. Ceilings so high that clouds formed when the coal fire died down. Young people today don't know they're born.

Yes indeed, there has been much mention on Sky News of old people dying of the cold. To the government, they are just statistics, but to a real person they were a much loved relative. Of course, the government then gets to keep all the pension payments that the elderly would have received, had they not died of the cold weather.

We must make sure you keep very warm this winter. When we run out of coal, I will fetch the logs in. When we run out of logs, I will start chopping up the furniture, what would you miss the least? That bloomin' wardrobe in the attic will be the first to go, if I have anything to do with it.
*throws another piece of coal on the blazing fire*
Why is the room filling with black smoke, Petunia dear? Did you remember to phone Mr DoAsYouWouldBeDoneBy to get the chimneys swept?

CC

Good evening dear Ladies,

How kind of you all to send me your good wishes dears. I am back to normal now and tickety boo!!!!

I too have been Christmas Shopping today, by that, I mean that I have been surfing the net [see I know all the jargon] and now that I have been on the South American River, the Adam fruit, and the Article Following, I have managed to purchase all manner of things. I did also peruse a Jo person, for perfumes and air fresheners. They all look very lovely, but a little out of my price range I am afraid.

I reverted to the Net, after venturing to the West End on Saturday. Dear Boris decided to make Oxford and Regents Streets pedestrianised . So no buses got anywhere near the dratted place. There was a young beat combo playing, McFly, and in BHS there was Alfie Boe. So lots of singists, but the place was heaving. I took flight and came back home.

We have been informed that this Winter will be the coldest for 100 years, so that gives us something to look forward to, I dont think.

Now that means that some poor people will not be able to keep themselves warm, and will make themselves ill. So sad. I know what it is like to try and keep this barn of a place warm.

I must agree, I too have a disfunctional family. But I think I am in good company. There are more than a few celebs who have love children, and all that that entails.

I have also gone to order my turkey dears, I am to have a Bronze one this year. I do hope that does not mean it is made of metal.

I shall return 'proper' tomorrow, after I have rested a little more. I dare say there is someone who will need nudging onto the straight and narrow.

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

Morning ladies,

Well I have seemed to have missed another drama. I am pleased to hear Petunia is home again, safe and well, if a little thinner...
That dratted family of hers are a right royal pain in the harse, but don't tell her I said so :-D.

We had a very pleasant weekend and I am sorry to brag, but our weather was picture perfect and so hot. Maybe we will get a Summer after all. I am a little pink on my shoulders... naughty me. Thank you all for your good wishes to OH and I. CC , I did buy a card and no, he didn't..

We got up early yesterday and watched a huge cruise ship come into port, an amazing sight. Shame my rellies weren't looking out for us as we waved to 'them' on the boat.... Still, we had a lovely day together.


Petunia, yesterday I visited a rather nice shop what sells produce and all manner of lovely things , foodie wise. What did I see but the very same Clementine puddings you spoke of. The same W brand and with a price tag of $50 for the larger pudding.... Needless to say, we won't be having a Clementime pudding this year. I thought the price a little steep :-|.

I am off to the supermarket this morning to check out the frozen Turkey selection. I need a large Turkey , I fear the larger birds may not be so readily available.... :-S
Oh the trials of the festive season are about to come to pass..

Have a lovely evening,
Susan

Pah tis the Devils football today. I have my thermals on ready and hope that the Spirit of the Docker does not make an entrance!!!!!!!

Teresa

Morning all, im on the main computor with out the smiley faces. The ipad produces them however. Tis very strange.

Im very glad Aunty is back in tow. I will send her some broth down the cyber hatch laced with a medicinal tot. That should retore her to her normal cheer. I shall send you some cyber sponge Cherry dear and some real green tea from China for Lesley for I fear she still needs some.

I was a member many years ago of the Young Farmers, many a tale I could tell, but Lesley dear they had a great constitution for drink unlike your good self :0)

I did watch the booze bus Lesley and I too was wondering if FTE would be on it. Thankfully she was not but she knew someone who was! The Fruits facebook and phone were crackling with information after that :0)

FTE is in Vigo again today. I checked the weather, 11 degrees and sunny.

Im glad you are feeling a little better today Cherry. You must keep your strength to help Mrs Berry with Auntie.

I will send Insector Corner of the Yard out to look for the escapeeee and if she come hithering down the A12 i shall send her back very quickly to you


Teresa

not that I am unsympathetic, Lesley, you understand, but really dear you should have taken more water with it, then you would not be experiencing "no mean feat" but would have been able to stand on your own two feet. The scraped skin and bruises can be camouflaged by a flesh-coloured bandage, and with a pair of thick "Norah Batty" tights on (to disguise the bandage) I see no reason why you shouldnt be up and about on the dance floor doing the March of the Mods and the Hokey Cokey, and possibly Knees Up Muvver Brown. Just dont wear a mini skirt dear. Always remember, Less Is More.

which makes me wonder if "More is Less" :-D !!

Yes thank you my finger is a little improved, compared to yesterday. I can type two handed again. Some days my fingers can be really painful when trying to hold something like gripping the handle of the telescopic duster. Its just neural pain caused by arthritic nodes on the finger joints, but its so darned inconvenient.

CC

Good Evening

Oh Auntie Petunia my knees my poor knees :-| climbing those cold stone stairs on my hands and knees because I was to inebriated to stand was no mean feat :-( I must have been numb at the time as I felt no pain, now my knees are sooooooo sore and black and blue, no dancing for me this week, and Auntie Dear you ask why it took me two nights......................................I can't remember :-S

I hope your finger is much better CC

Yes I did receive the teddy, thank you :-D :-D :-D

*thinks* perhaps I should try the Vase Water and Petals diet. Dear Petunia certainly looks well on it, and she must have dropped at least a stone in weight.

*pats Petunia gently on the back*

We are so pleased, dear, that you are back with us dear. Thank you for your consideration over my poor finger, I think I must have temporarily trapped a nerve where the top of the digit has twisted across, but its not so bad now, at least I can use it again. See? I can even pick my nose, in a most refained manner of course. I expect that my finger accidentally making contact with the soup benefitted from the warmth.

The latest news update, is that a hairy woman in Edwardian clothing has been observed in Regents Park Zoo, in the monkey enclosure. Either that, or Amy the chimp is Dressing Up again.

I've been to Monkey World, a wonderful place, and Hananyans group were out and about, and they had some old towelling. One of the chimps picked up a towel and draped it over his shoulders, just like a human donning a shawl. The primates there are all very well cared for. But, it is sad that such places are needed in the first instance.

CC

Good evening dears.

What a horrid day it has been weatherwise. Dark, grey, cold and raining.

But still...............................I am home!!!!!

Pat-trish-aaaah came to collect me, and yes, the tuk tuk is very colourful. All pinks and orange hues. She is looking very well, so the sunshine must have done her good.

Teresa dear, thank you for looking me, but I fear you were looking in the wrong places. Dear, dear, you could have looked in the Young Farmers Association. I hear they have a Farmer Giles there. I know his very well.....................

Lesley dear, plenty of water dear, rather then coffee. It makes you even more dehydrated. Fizzy water if you have it. Have you got your Teddy yet dear?

Oh dear, me being missing, has meant that I did not wish dear Upsidedown Susan a Happy Anniversary. I am sorry to have missed it dear. But, belated good wishes. How lovely to be married to a lovely man.

If only..........................................if only......................if only that swine had not run off with Juana!!!!!

If you hear of an imminent arrest concerning Juana, please let me know. I shall positively identify her.

Poor Cherry, thank you soooo much for my soup and crusty bread. Does your poorly finger have to droop into the soupbowl dear? I do appreciate that you do wash your hands, but nevertheless, it is not quite to Debrette standard is it dear? At least wipe you hand on a napkin dear, rather then suck the soup from your poorly pinkie. Thank you dear. Most kind.

Can you see me dears? I am skin and bone. Four days without proper food and water. Do you know what vase water tastes like? No? Dont ask! And although edible flowers look pretty, they are not what you would call tasty.

Aaaaah, I must say this soup, bread and apple crumble with custard are going down a treat. I shall soon be back to normal.

Now where is my diary? I am sure I am due somewhere tomorrow, there must be someone who needs my guiding hand...............

Feeling warmer
Auntie Petunia

soil association Teresa? why on earth did you think Petunia might be hiding there?

CC

(soil ... earth .... I will leave you to work that one out)

Teresa I am now waiting for an email from them, wanting me to complete a questionnaire about my experience. sigh.

CC

sorry Lesley I almost did not see you there, I dont know about James Bond but I would not mind being rescued by Clive Owen :-D

CC

dont stand too close to me, I have a sore froat, I mean, throat. And my twisted index finger really hurts today, I am typing one handed, I cant even put my finger on the keyboard at all. There are many things I would not wish to put my finger on, but the keyboard is not one of them.

CC

Petunia I am so pleased to hear that Teresa has rallied and released you from the Nuns cell, and that Father Thadeus is looking after you. Dearie me, you do get yourself into some scrapes and situations.

Lesley does not seem to have sobered up yet in spite of all the black coffee I poured down her froat, I mean, throat. Or else, she's been at the gripe water.

Thank goodness Teresa is no longer in the club. She could have gone missing for nine months.

As instructed, I have sent Pat rish aaaah around with the tuktuk, she is on her way now, and should be with you by Divali. She has decorated the tuktuk beautifully, with red and white candles, all lit up and glowing, so everyone will be able to see you coming in the dark.

Mrs Berry is making you a warming potato and onion soup, to be served with fresh crusty bread, and will bring you a pot of fortified tea as soon as you reach home.

Now ... I have checked the news broadcasts and a hairy young woman wearing genteel Edwardian clothing and kidskin button bootees has been spotted, loitering with a begging bowl, outside Turnham Green station. How green, remains to be seen. The Flying Squad are just popping along to apprehend her. It might even be a fair cop, guv.

CC