General Chat

oooh tuttttty tut tut and more tuts.

Auntie, it is for the best, its always the best in the long run, and we your loyal pals always know best.

Now go and snaffle a muffin or two and change that dress into somthing more cheerful. The sun was out earlier, the birds are trilling a happy tune and hanging around the patio for some more of Bill Oddies mealworm mix and........................
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I need a loan of the tuk tuk and a Pickfords removal van. FTE is to return next week and although she departed last October with enough baggage to sink a ship so to speak, she apperars to have aquired a lot more :-S
We are to bring the large suitcase, empty of course to fill with stuff. Now FTE is a bit of a magpie and likes bits and bobs. She has mentioned some of the items she has bought around the globe. Ladies is there any spare space at the Towers to store the toot er items?

We also need manpower so the more the merrier. We may even be able to find a naice Gentleman of means for Auntie :-D

Breathing a sigh of relief that Aunty has seen the light


Teresa

The Beatles song "Baby's in Black" comes to mind, for some strange reason .....

well gels, at least dear Petunia has finally seen the light, even if it was blinding. It was blindingly obvious to us .....

Once again, dear Petunia was almost conned by people who were merely after the money she keeps claiming she does not have. But, we know better, dont we, and therefore we must protect our interests. correction - Protect Petunia's interests. Anyway, if there was any trouble, Colin could always have been paid off with a pretty dress and accessories.

I'll give her half an hour to decomp ..errrrrr. compose herself, then I will take her a tray of tea and freshly baked muffins.

Why are you all cackling? Did I say something ????????? ;-) :-D

#thinks# why is it so dark, I am sure my eyes are open, but it is totally black, and I cannot move either, what the heck.....................................?

Golly gosh, the light is blinding, I need to blink a couple of times for my eyes to adjust to the light.....................however, my hands seem to be on a very cold surface, and my feet seems unable to move....................oooooh, now I am beginning to focus a little. Aaaaah!

Now where am I? Sitting in my own dear little Parlour, with.....................ooooooh, what are you doing here? Is this some kind of inquisition dears?

Cherry you are always here [like the proverbial] but Teresa dear, are you inbetween shifts dear? And the pink hair? Ooooh Lesley, you do look..............erm striking dear. And what is that noise, oh now that is a novelty, Susan speaking via a Blooooooberry. Well dears, what can I do for you all?

I am most delighted you are all here dears, but if I could have my hands freed, and maybe untie my feet? No, not yet? Maybe later then? OK we will see then...........

Yes, I understand that you are worried by the haste in which James and I are to be married......................no, I am not being carried along by it all..........yes, I have thought it through carefully.............no I am not clutching at straws..............yes of course I remember the last debacle with dear Patrick and that woman Juana.......no of course I will not give up Motie Towers, does not Camilla keep her own house too............yes of course I will listen to you all...............I may not take any notice but I will listen.

Whats that dear? Am I sure it is a real diamond? Is there any other kind? Does it cut glass? Why do you have reason to think I am about to become a glazier? Of course I will try it..................................urrrrrrgh, I am pressing very hard, maybe I am holding it at the wrong angle...............urrrrrgh, I am straining here..................oh..........................not there is no mark on the glass at all.............how very odd. Let me take the ring off, and try it again...............whats that dear? The hallmark? I never was very good at that sort of thing, all those lion heads and numbers..................oh..................there is no pictures, just a few words.........erm, pass the pince nez dears, now lets see D-I-A-M-O-N-I-C-K. Does that mean that it is a Cyprus ring dear, does it come from Nicosia. Ah, Nicosia, I remember dear Jean sending messages to our dear boys over there..........................whats that dears? Not a real diamond? Really? Are you sure?

#blusters# I think you are being very unfair dears, I think ..............................whats that dears? What is that you are waving in front of me? It seems like a photograph with text underneath it.................is it some kind of Actors resume? No? Then what is it dears? Something more sinister? really, how sinister?

A.................resume for a dating agency..................what is that dears...............oh............do those kind of things exist? They offer a good time? Well of course people like a good time, a nice cup of tea and a gypsy cream, how good is that? Not that kind of good time? Then what? Oooooooh...................how horrid! What is the name of this agency then gels? StudMuffins Are Us.........................what exactly is..........ooooooh I feel quite faint............

#sharp intake of breathe and head pulls back# By golly those smelling salts are strong dear, is that a new bottle? Jolly powerful!!

And now I suppose you are going to say that James' family is not his own too? Oooooh, how disappointing.........I thought I was to have a ready made family with dear little ones running around......................and Colin?

James is his 'uncle'. Why are you saying it in that way dears, why the inflection in the voice when you say uncle? Oh!!!!!!!

Let me free dears, I feel I want to be on my own now.............I am going to bed.................good night all.


#walks away sobbing gently#

Goodness Cherry are you orfff again. I will miss you and your thoughtful insite into Motie Towers. Do keep in touch by the power of the tintenet :-)

How petty about the flowers. When Ma and Pa departed we took pictures of the flowers and also send the photos to relatives who wanted them.

I like crosstich but cannot knit at all. I did fashion a jumper years ago. It took about six months and when I washed it it shrunk!

Now what is all this about a wedding :-S :-S September 31st you say? Yes I think I can fit that in. Now what to wear, mummmmmm sales are on in July so we should be able to pick somthing up. Mind you if the outfit is not needed it may not be able tobe returned. Decisions decisions.

I havnt seen Lesleys avitar Susan, think its time i changed mine!

Talking of funerals and flowers it will be eight years since my Mum died on Saturday. I will pop down to see how the bulbs are doing.

Toodle pip for now


Teresa.


Aunty there is a very naice wedding frock dress here. Prehaps you should bring the "family" down to look. Lesley and I could sort Colin out for the day


:-D ;-)

Well on to our Good News of the Day, dear Petunia and Major James. How strange, you do remind me of a certain Major Tom. I'd give you a peck on the cheek Major James but you have too much designer stubble. And I dont want to smudge my lipstick. Yes its a beautiful shade of Flames Of Heaven isnt it. Did you wish to try it??

Congratulations to you both and when is the Happy Occasion to be?

September 31st?

Well I never did, and nor will you Petunia dear.

What a beautiful ring. Do you know, I saw one in Marks & Spencer just like it only a few weeks ago, in their Bling Ring range. It was a Zirconia, shaped like a 2 ct diamond.

Colin will be appeased dear. Just offer him one of the dresses you no longer wear, and a hat to go with it. And a handbag and matching shoes. You have such an extensive wardrobe that you wont miss one dress and the pre requisite accessories. He might also appreciate a brooch to pin on the collar of the dress. Ooooooh "Vicious", or wot .... lol

Speaking of "Vicious" - isnt Derek Jacobi just delightful in the new series of that name. And Frances de la Tour is a hoot, but then she always is.

And so ..... it is time to crack open a bottle of champagne ............ Oh dear, the neck of the bottle has cracked and its fizzing everywhere and the cork flew clean thru the Victorian leaded lights in the window ........

HHHEEEELLLLLPPPPPPP !!!!

oh oh, oh my paws and whiskers. Where did I leave the bin liners. Where are my pinking shears and the gold thread. And the paper clips and the cardboard toilet roll holders and the double sided sticky tape ....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ to Susan nz and all our readers. Make the most of me, I am only here until early June :-D :-D

*running around like a headless chicken*
so many bin liners to turn into wearable creations, and so little time in which to do it.

I must express my apologies Petunia dear for not being here when you announced your Good News, but I have a handwritten note with me (I hand-wrote it myself) to explain.

MFH and MIL went to a funeral yesterday so when he got home I suggested he might wish to cheer himself up with a meal at a Carvery and a glass of lager, and we collected MIL on the way as she also needed cheering up. They were a bit put out - the widow had declared that no one was allowed to photograph the funeral flowers they'd paid for, to have a lasting record of the dear departed's final gifts from family and friends. I thought that was extremely petty. When my Dad and my aunt D were buried I didnt refuse permission for people to photograph the funeral flowers. Funeral flowers are often impressive displays and there should be a lasting record of them.

The widow dumped her husband in a nursing home a couple of years ago because she decided she didnt want to look after him any longer as he was "ailing" and getting weaker, but there was no reason she couldnt look after him at home as he was entitled to home help. This decision caused some reverberations through the late husband's immediate family, I can tell you.

Lordy lordy lordy, Petunia, your news is...... well , I just don't know what to say..

Congratulations to you both.. thinks.. *** here we go again ***...

Best you get that Colin aside and give him what for, mummys boy indeed :-|., Is he a man or a mouse??.

You certainly live an interesting life dear :-D. Mine is rather ho hum, same s..., different day it would seem :-S. Are we to be invited to the wedding?. I shall need some time to save the fare you know.... My OH will want to join me doncha know.

I must say, nothing quite like a wedding to bring people together....... except a funeral :-(. I have been to another today. A neighbour, the second in a fortnight.. A lovely service <3.

I digress, CC, get those bin liners out, quick smart. I do so love a wedding :-).

Can't wait to read what t'others have to say ;-).

By the by, Lesley, your avatar, saucy minx you :-).

~~~~ to Teresa, hope the stitching is coming along nicely. I have a lovely little piece stitched by Auntie Jean (Monmouth). I could never master a needle and thread, though I can sew on a button - just :-D.

Time to check on the chook and chuck a few tatties in the oven,

toodles,

Susan

Good news dears.

May I introduce my fiance Major James.................................

I am sorry that I could not invite you around for drinks dears, but it happened so suddenly, it took us both by surprise!

My new family have taken to me like ducks to water, except for Colin who looks at me daggers everytime I try to say anything to him.

Brett whispered to me that Colin was a 'mothers boy'. Well aren't all sons?

Look dears, look at my 2ct diamond ring.

#trills# I feel pretty, oh so pretty..........................................


Pip de pip pip
Auntie Petunia

*sees the green eyed monster becoz dear Teresa is clever enough to do cross stitch and I am not*

Oh I do hope the referral was done on the day I was there, as the consulting doctor said he would add me to the list. I want a fully functional and working hip, like wot I used to have.

OH and I went to Anglesey Abbey a couple of years ago. As well as going around in the house we walked around the grounds, did you see the trees with the remarkably twisted and interloping branches? Almost as bad as my family tree on my dear lady Mama's maternal side. Grandmama's second husband was the FIL of Grandmama's (2nd oldest) daughter. This made Mama's new brother in law her stepbrother. Which made her sister her stepsister in law. And my Mama's Mama became her stepmother acos my GrandMama was the wife of Mama's stepfather ..... *bursts into song* I'm my own grandpaw, I'm my own grandpaw ......*

Now, I have also warned dear Petunia that people with money can rent old houses for "appearance's sake". What an excellent point you make that at some point in the past an American lady with money might have married the "lord of the manor". The only downside to that is, this "new money" comes with an appalling mother in law. :-S

Aunty dear, I do hope the alarm bells ringing are only the ones attached to the gemstones round your neck :-0

Beware many old properties are hired out for people to use at their convenience. Are you really really sure that the galloping Major is who he claims to be. We visited a loverly house on Sunday called Anglesea Abbey. Now dont forget the Major,if that who he is, is sure to have a female American in the family tree. They are the ones who bought the new money in to secure the old money. Have a look through the tree and find that gal who will have secured the family fortune from the roads or trade ;-)

Cherry dear, im sure that the referal would be done either on the day or once the secretarys got the letter. Keep the home fires burning for I think Aunty may be home again soon. Whats occurring with Pat rish aaaa these days? Is she behaving at the towers ;-) ;-)

Susan dear I did see about Jean, may her pain and suffering be over poor lady :-(

Lesley have camped at paid toil for the last few weeks. Im thinking of pitching the caravan. I can accomodate four of us and stick the awnong up for a few more now theweather is nice :-D

Orff now to fashion a cross stich card for FTEs return.

Teresa

Susan, I didnt know Jean, we never had occasion to speak on GR, but may she RIP.


Well Petunia dear, what an amazing invention your little Bloooberry has turned out to be, all these messages you can surreptitiously leave on the answerphone for someone to pick up and listen to. What a relief to know that Major Sinjun Mannering is a pukka gentleman and his family are real. I assume they are his family and not hired from an agency .... I remember Gimmeee Moore and Fox Mulder pretending to be a "model married couple" but they worked for an agency and their job was to encourage the neighbours to be jealous of their furniture and white goods to make said neighbours buy said goods.

As for Cedric's attitude - a little bird tells me he admired your frock and wished he had one just like it !!! ;-D jealousy makes people behave in "odd ways".

A lot of old properties are "borrowed" for TV productions. Why, Highclere House was used for Downton Abbey, no less.

So, the family. Are you sure there is only Dolly and Poppy? Is there not a Holly, a Molly, a Solly, and a Polly? I expect the grounds will have a Folly, and when you see it you will immediately exlaim "Golly !" and everyone will be very jolly. They must be rolling in lolly.

No whatever you do never suck the bones from a rack of lamb. You have to throw them over your shoulder for the gun dogs.

Good morning ladies,

I did not know Jean, Susan, but God Bless Her.

AP

Luncheon at 5pm, lordy, what ever time will dinner be??.

I trust you will get the better of that Colin, Petunia...

Tis Monday here again already, a very wet and wild day.. I hate having to go out in awful weather, I think it goes back to having to walk in all weathers as my mama did not drive.. Not that I have to walk to work, just hate being in the weather..

Teresa, have you swotted up enough for FTE's return?. Good luck I say, it is so hard to keep up with things these days. Perhaps my age has a bearing, once upon a time ( ie: in my yoof), I knew all the bands, muso's, trends, etc... I bet you are all excited to have your fruit home again, even if it is to be a brief visit.

CC, glad you are 'in the system'... You won't know yourself once freed from pain. Shall I put you down for the 100m hurdles at the Masters games?. No?, ok then.. It was just an idea. We visited with relatives yesterday, two of the littlies and three of the bigger - ies (?) had a running race on the beach.. My fruit , on crutches,jokingly tried to partake. Was such a funny sight..

~~~~ to Lesley. How are things in your neck of the woods, hope the family are all well?.

Best get on and brace myself for the day ahead.

Ladies, would you please give a little thought to our dear Jean (Monmouth) who passed away on May 4th. Such a lovley lovely lady <3.

Susan

#whispers# Hello dears, I am just letting you know how I am getting on. I am 'powdering my nose' and I thought you may be interested.

We did not need the tuk-tuk in the end, dear James came to fetch me in his Bentley, and we purred our way into Surrey. Do you know dears, the driveway is a long, long way, and not one single twist or turn, it must be at least a mile long!

The house itself is mid 18th century, and I am sure I have seen it in some television programme or other. The hallway is all dark panelling, but the floor is a wonderful tile concoction, all pretty patterns. The stairs are central and go to either side of the house. All in all, pretty snazzy. Make my little house look almost provincial.

We are in the upstairs parlour, and James has introduced me to his family. They are as follows. Lance, the eldest is married to Hortence, and they have Poppy, Dolly, and Jamie [after his grandpapa].

Secondly there is Brett and his wife Jemima and their children, Daisy, Lilly and Charles. Then there is Colin. Also not a patch on Mr Firth with his breeches and wet shirt. This one has a sneer on his face, and he looks down his nose at everyone.......................even me.

He is a spiteful creature, and has made a few snide remarks already. It is so distressing, as I cannot understand why you would be so nasty to someone you have just met....................hmmmmmm.

The others are perfectly charming, the lady wives are a bit horsey but divine, and the children are darling.

I shall dash down again gels, as they will be looking for me soon.

We are having a late luncheon at 5pm, they have staff, so it will be a formal affair.

Now do you cut a rack of lamb, or is it acceptable to suck the bones?

More news as it happens.

Making sure my skirt is not tucked in.........................
Auntie Petunia

Teresa I had to wait four months last year, so that was around 16-17 weeks, given that some months have 5 weeks and I saw the consultant in the January. This time around I dont have shortness of leg (unlike with my left leg, where the degeneration had caused a loss of nearly 4" of bone). Although the degeneration with my right hip joint warrants surgery the hospital can see from the Xrays its not as bad as my left hip was. I hope the consulting doctor on Thursday kept his word and added me to the surgery list the same day I saw him.

Magnet Lesley? yes dear Petunia would order something like that, to keep me pinned down. She dreads me wandering around the house when she is not there, in case I find "something". Its just as well I dont have a passport because I would never get thru Control, I'd be setting the metal detectors off L R & C.

I expect Petunia has left on her journey into Surrey now. I am quite concerned in spite of her assurances. For all we know, this Major Sinjun wossit could be impersonating the man listed in Burkes Peerage and plans to sell dear Petunia off to the Slave Traders, after all she is not exactly short of a groat or three. I do declare, I shall worry until she returns.

Now ........... where did she leave the keys to the strongbox ....... :-D ;-)

Good Evening.

Teresa our eldest fruit went to The Mrs Carter Show on Wednesday she said it was quite spectacular, Mr Carter showed his face too.

Wishing Auntie Petunia luck as I wave her goodbye, till we meet again hopefully not at the Heartbreak Hotel ................... laced edged handkerchief at the ready.

Lets hope your appointment is sooner rather than later CC.......................... was that a giant magnet I saw being delivered to Motie Towers ;-) ...............
............... beware.

Helo Susan x

Thank you dears for your messages and your concern, and good evening to you all.

Don't worry dears, I have been rooting around Burkes Peerage, and he is bona. His ancestors were at the Battle of Waterloo, and Rourkes Drift. They are military through and through.

I dont think we should mention Doctor Rigby or dear Patrick in the same breathe dears. Both were bounders, and cads. And as for the last Major with red hair. Lets just say the sea-air turned my head. I was sad...............I was lonely. And you all set me once again on the straight and narrow. So thank you again!

I have to say he is also a Right Honorable, and has his own seat in the country. We will be decamping to have tea tomorrow afternoon in his country pile. We was to go to one of his children's house, but we will make a day of it, and the grandchildren can have the run of the grounds.............

I shall depart for Surrey just after church tomorrow morning.

I hope everyone is enjoying the Bank Holiday weekend and will not have to work too hard.

Wish me luck gels!

Auntie Petunia

FTE is home in just over a week, I must start watching MTV etc to get back in the groove etc of FTE world ;-)

Cherry dear you should now be on the 18 week pathway if im not mistaken :-D If I am mistaken it may be because Dave n Nick are in meltdown as we speak. ;-)

Lesley I have had many spuds on what I thought was a slow simmer over the years, We get used to the taste of burnt pans of food :-(

Susan I found a lottery ticket from December, sadly I am not yet a millionare.

Aunty did you see Mr Jzeeeee with Beonyce. he is her good gentleman walker snd talking of gentlemen walkers..............tutttty tut tut tut tut. Is he really a Major and a singen and has he got buckets of dosh and wonga. I do not mean to cast nustershums on proceedings but I really do not wish to see another Jezza Kyle situation. Know what I mean init :-S :-S :-S :-S :-S :-S :-S :-S :-S :-S :-S :-S :-S


Remember the last geezer who tried to rip you orff.







"whispers" has she gone yet? Right Gals, lets start looking in to this family history thing and see who this Major really is.




Laters


T x