General Chat

Morning ladies - well, it is here,

Lo, there is a bright ball in the sky, gawd it is the long lost sun :-). hurrah !!

What a cutie Emilie is, glad to hear she is more settled. No doubt she is sprouting like a little mushroom.

Hello Teresa, glad you had a nice holiday. Your lungs must be bursting with all that lovely fresh sea air ? Did you sleep like a log?

CC, I hope your puddy didn't get too frazzled at the vets? Fruits puppy loves it, know just which cupboard the doggy treats are kept in :-D. Greedy mut she is.

Oh dear, I hear on the radio, Prince H has been a little naughty on his wee visit to Las Vegas... I wonder if his grandma will want to 'speak' to him on his return, remind him of his duty to uphold the family name and all that :-D, what a silly boy he was. Imagine photos, of his crown jewels, splashed who knows where... Somehow I don't think his granny will be too amused, do you?

I trust you have your house to rights now Petunia? A friend of mine once left young teenage boys at home, on her return - to a perfectly tidy house, she knew the minute she stepped inside, there had been shenanigans during her absence.
When will orfspring learn that mothers know everything ;-).. as do maiden aunts of course..

I am off to a three hour presentation by our bank this morning, technically called a 'workshop' :-(.How to manage your cashflow.... What cashflow eh :-S. I might get a nice cup of tea and wee cake maybe?

I am off out this evening with fruit to the local drama clubs production, lets hope it is worth the grand entry fee of $5.00 :-D.

I am not here,
Toodle pip

Susan, orf to learn how to count dollars and cents ;-)

Lesley I was put in a difficult situation because he'd worked past the two hours I'd agreed to pay him for. As I said, I have other irons in the fire and will make it very clear that their two hours must include enough time to pick up the clippings ..... as you suggest, while I look for the money.

Both mine had dummies. I heard all about the evils of dummies, but had two SCREAMERS !! - I'm sure they were heard in Glasgow - and I often say : if there is no dummy then a baby will find something else to suck, and its not possible to remove a thumb. But, you can remove a dummy.

Its said that there is no such thing as a bad dog, the problem is bad owners. But some dogs do have mean natures. However if the owner only encourages that bad nature they have no business keeping a dog in the first place, and should face the consequences. I'd opt for putting the yobbos in a confined space and send in a pack of dobermans. Oh ... someone is crying "human rights"!!! I wonder why the victims of crime have no human rights.

Many moons ago ..... I had friends who kept two dogs, one alsation and one doberman. Both were supposed to be guard dogs. I assumed the "alpha female" position from the start, and had no trouble with either dog ever. But, another visitor to these friends house used to squeal in terror every time one of the dogs walked past her. Guess who got her ankles nipped. Nope, wasnt me. Oddly enough I was terrified of dogs when I was a child, it wasnt until I was 14 that I discovered the secret of dog management.

CC

*rushes up and grabs Teresa in a bearhug*

how lovely to see you are back. I have been at my wits end, placating Petunia and pacifying Pat rish aaaah.

Lucky you being Cool. This last weekend was a scorcher and my poor garden has positively wilted and some things look so scorched I'm sure they will never recover.

Re the quicksand - OH in spite of his SatNav took a wrong turning, a little road before the road that leads to the zoo. I had the impression it was some kind of quarry, or sand & gravel, company but I could be wrong, I dont know the area. I just remember seeing a sign warning of quicksand, down this wrong turning.

Alas I did not see your FTE, and her gang from Oop North. I was too busy trying to keep my feet firmly on the ground and the rest of me upright, while all the toddlers were running amok and screaming trying to trip me up. Your Fruit and her Friends must have been feeding the lions while I was admiring the penguins. For some reason, I didnt get to see the lions or hyenas, I didnt see the sign post for them.

CC

Petunia dear, the shopping list that Mrs Berry and I gave to poor Pat rish aaaah did not require her to venture anywhere near the North Circular. She was only supposed to visit Kossofs Bakers in Muswell Hill to buy two Cholar loaves and some egg rolls, strictly kosher of course, and then visit the Egg Stores in Stoke Newington High Street to purchase some rollmop herrings. May I suggest you question her again? There is more to this than meets the eye. Because she was singing Born To Be Wild all the next day, until you returned home.

Yes I know your valises have been polished. Look at the state of my hands!!

So - you are off on Friday eh? Well dont worry about a thing. Mrs Berry and I will manage admirably, we have Plans and lots of polish and air freshener. You wont recognise your house when you return :-D

We will be at Southampton Docks, to see you off :-D

CC

*glares at Susan*
I was going to mention the Crown Jewels and you have stolen my thunder! Yes indeed our young prince has been a naughty boy. I know lads have to let off some steam occasionally, but ........... And to think he is second in line to the throne at the moment!! The Queen cant tick him off really - we all know what Philip got up to in his heyday. :-D The stories are still circulating, all these years later.

O-ho financial workshops ...... I wonder how much der wunderkind got paid for that. If your banks are owt like ours, there will be some kind of Performance Chart, based on percentages of customers suckered in to investing into high risk gilts and stocks n shares. My bank keeps inviting me to have a Financial Review. What with. I am not risking my Funeral Fund which currently sits in an ISA which is a very safe place (well - at the moment). And I am certainly not going to lose my state pension in these high risk investments.

Thank you the cat is fine now :-D

What was the performance at the Drama Club tonight?

CC

Good Afternoon Ladies

Auntie Petunia I make my own starch ;-) it is very easy all you need is corn starch water and 2 drops of your favourite essence or lemon juice :-)

Passing CC a tub of lanolin and some cotton gloves <3 for her poor hands that have been damaged while polishing others luggage :-|

Hello Teresa I'm glad to hear you had a good holiday in beautiful Wales :-)

Cashflow workshop :-S :-S :-S I do hope your bank provided you with tea and cake :-) Susan was the drama production a success :-D

*snatches the lanolin and rubs into beleaguered paws most gratefully*

thank you Lesley :-). At least someone around here appreciates me :-D

Saw the ortho specialist this morning for the three month check up, he wants to see me again in six months time to discuss the other hip. He said judging from the xray I had done in January that its degenerated enough to warrant surgery, how did I feel about that? I said the post op paperwork I was given in April said to allow one year for recovery re the other hip, and although my right hip hurts its not as excruciatingly painful as the left hip was. the doctor said he thinks my right hip has fused - ankylosed ? Teresa will know the right medical term .... and sometimes fusing can reduce the level of pain felt. So, we are leaving it for six months which suits me for the time being.

oh dear ..... the lanolin is making my hands go all woolly ....... ;-)

baa'ing softly
CC

Hallo Auntie, FTE will not be pip pipping yet, her ship comes in in October I think. Oh dear my litle faces have gone again :( I look foward to hearing all your adventures. You could tweet or keep a blog of your high sea adventures. Of couse they have the internet on board so you can catch up that way :)

Sheep Cherry, there are plenty about, many many of them on holiday all fluffy and white like little cotton wool balls on the hills and in the valleys.

A workshop Susan, what fun, we get tea and tea at ours! I hope you did not fall aslep, these workshops can get very warm and makes one nod orfff at times. :) :)

Lesley did I read that baby E was not to be bathed for a week? My friend had two grandchildren born this year at the same hospital that Baby E was born in. She said the same, no bathing for a week??? why is this, when FTY was born 14 years and 9 days ago we were given a demonstation on how to bath and wash their hair. How strange. I will have to enquire next week when I go back to work.

Trends change in baby care. I must confess that FTE slept in the bed with us at times, the potty training which was almost impossible went out of the window with the potty, and I never really fitted in to the mother and baby set as I went back to work when FTE was 12 weeks old. That was the length of maternity leave in those days. Ma and Pa looked after her. With FTY I went back after 6 months, a bit longer on the mat leave and he got chicken pox in the first week of going to nursery!
I did try the dummy with both but they were having none of it. Luckily having summer babies made the night colic run a little easier :)

Orff now to watch the hairy bikers loose weight in a while :)

Teresa

Good evening dear Friends, what a flurry of excitement today with packing, unpacking and general confusion and indecision.

I opened the newspapers today and saw a naked young man! lots of puns about Crown Jewels, but surely they belong to his Grandmama. I cannot think what they mean............am I missing something? Anyway, he is no match for Airmiles. Tutty tut.

How kind of you to give me the recipe for starch Lesley, I shall treasure it forever, and pass it on to Pat-trish-aaaaah she will find more use for it than I. As you know I cannot let any kind of powder, abrasive liquid or dirt sully my delicate skin. Hence I am like dear Lillibet and always wear cotton gloves. But thank you dear, your heart is in the right place. Generally to the left and hidden behind your ribs.

Oh dear Cherry dear, YOUR hands are a little...........erm, hairy! Have you been doing what Father Jack does in his armchair? He has a little libation, and then gets the Hairy Hands. What stage are they dear, two or three?

I presume you are staying on at Motie Towers while I am away dear? You seems to have taken up permanent residence here, and while it is nice to have visitors, a little too long and the novelty wears off. Saying that............I do need someone to look after dear Pat-trish-aaaaah. I fear she would send poor Mrs Berry around the bend, offering to help her all the time. Plus as I am still paying her, I feel Mrs Berry should be cooking for someone. So stay put dear. Only your home comforts are now spilling out into several rooms, and think we agreed you could only inhabit one!

Now, a bit of disturbing news, especially as I am to depart on Friday...............Cousin Ruby and that slimeball husband of hers are to descend on you at the end of next week. Apparently she is on an errand of mercy. A cousin of hers [on her fathers side, whoever HE was!] has passed away, and she is, as far as she has been led to believe, is the only living relative.

I can fairly hear the pound signs chinging up in her eyes. Apparently this cousin of hers was a widow, and owns a house in Cheltenham. Which I hear is quite rural, and the property there is quite expensive.

She believes she is doing us a favour by descending on us, expecting us to put her up! She is also bringing her new maid with her, the old one quit in disgust over an incident with a bunch of carrots. Dont ask!

Cherry...............come back dear...............I know it is a lot to ask..............no, I promise they will not overstay their welcome..............yes, I will ask Mrs Berry to cater to your every whim..................yes, you can eat in bed..............no I promise not to moan if you drip butter on the sheets.............yes you can play your CD reasonably loudly................yes you may get Pat-trish-aaaaah to ferry you around in the tuk-tuk................OK you may use the fine china instead of the plastic beaker. OK? Are we agreed? Good!

Flustered
Auntie Petunia

Sorry CC , didn't mean to steal your thunder, it is probably because we are first to see the sun and therefore hear the news before you :-S, or something like that...
Silly, silly boy eh.

Well the drama production was actually various acts, from primary children right up to secondary, a bit of improv and some belly dancing :-D.... Do you know hard it is to stifle laughter in a small theatre???? All in all it was quite an enjoyable evening, the little children were very cute. I would say this was a variety show :-D.

Lesley, you are a bit posh starching your laundry ;-), I don't recall ever using starch, I shall blame my upbringing... What do you starch? I do use fabric sofetner, does that count ;-).

Petunia, I am sure CC will take her responsibilities very seriously ( crosses fingers behind back)... She is more than a match for that Ruby.. Have you heard the old saying, "out of sight, out of mind" ? Works both ways you know. You will be far too busy upon the high seas to worry about the goings on at the Towers... I wonder shall you get to sit at the Captains table?
I see there is talk of a Titanic 2..... Have a lovely trip, I look forward to your journey blog :-).

Oh dear, what a waste of time my workshop was yesterday, the morning tea break was the best part of the morning. That is probably a little unfair. We had to do practical exercises, at one point, the chappy taking the course came to me to explain a calculation, I very nearly elbowed him in the ribs, he was far too close to me for my liking. I had heard him say earlier he has had the bot for weeks, I was thinking keep your bl&*%y germs to yourself man and stop breathing over ME...
Phew :-S.

The sun is out today :-) again tomorrow and then back to the wet stuff... I am so tempted to plant a few plants but frosts are still lurking.. patience me thinks.

We finally got our male fruits car back from the panelbeaters, only to have female fruits car go for repairs. A woman backed into fruits car and did a wee bit of damage. I shudder to think 'what' will be number three !! Good old Dad, he put it right... Male fruit has had my little runabout for some time now, gawd knows how many kilometres he has put on the clock. Oh well, how sad, too bad, never mind.

Have a lovely weekend, Petunia, stay safe and do keep your eyes peeled for blokes on the pull. Remember, if he seems to good to be true, odds on , he probably is ;-).

Toodle pip
Susan

*gambolling around Motie Towers*

hello Teresa, if you drive along the Nags Head Road in Enfield, where the reservoirs are, you will see a flock of sheep on the grass embankment. Its cheaper than lawnmowers. But the council still charges a fortune for the rates.

You are right, in "our day" we were expected to bathe the baby at least on the second day, and New Mothers were given a demo. Experienced mothers were left to "get on with it". I wonder why things have changed, and I am sure it cannot be good for the infant to go unbathed given what fills the nappies ....... yeuch !! And I used to nap with the baby sometimes during the day, but for the most part they were good sleepers so I didnt have to take mine into bed with me during the night when they were babies. When they got a bit older - toddler to c.4 - I'd let them sleep with me if they were upset about something for example one night we had a storm which woke and scared the youngest so I let her settle down next to me. She got off to sleep again, but I didnt, cos she gave off one heck of a lot of body heat. When each child got to five years of age, that was it, they were then "too old" to snuggle up with Mum and Dad.

CC

Ah here you are Petunia dear. Let me explain about the Crown Jewels. A good parallel would be Meat & Two Veg, only the veg has the seal of Royal approval.

As I dont know what Father Jack does in his armchair I cannot comment on his little libations. But I have heard that hairy palms is the first sign of madness, and searching for hairs on the palms is the second sign. Is Father Jack any relation to Grocer Jack who didnt open his shop?

Well, I am sure I dont know what you mean about my home comforts. I hired two Pickfords pantechnicons to take away all my purchases from That River, and I only occupy one room. At a time. Its just that I cannot now remember which room I am supposed to be in, or whether I was in the East Wing or the West Wing. But of course I will stay on, how could I desert you in your hour of need, with that Ruby and Smarmy arriving - especially as you have caved in over your rules and regs where I am concerned. Really, was it necessary to draw up a Legal Document, tacking it to the kitchen door with double sided cellotape and a bit of string on a cardboard toilet roll holder and a Fairy liquid bottle suitably reshaped, to tell me what not to do? I know one does not lick out the cream jug, when people are watching. I also know how to make candelabras with wire coat hangers, tinsel and cheap candles. My Mama dragged me up proper, as I keep telling you. I believe I am related to Hetty Kett, as Mama talked about her so much.

As for the house Ruby has An Interest in - I think you mean Chingford, that is where the expensive houses are and it can be very rural there, so close to Epping Forest. I know, because many moons ago I had a friend who lived in Chingford, in a five bedr house with a swimming pool and room for a pony. It was just like Birds of a Feather, and my friend was just like Dorien. I was Sharon. Come to think of it ..... I'm still just like Sharon - only much larger, cos she lost weight. If one does not know Essex I suppose it would be very easy to confuse Chingford with Chelmsford.

My late uncle lived in Woodford Green at one time, very close to Epping Forest, I remember accompanying my aunt and their dog on a little leafy walk during one visit.

*thinks* Yippee, I can play my Phantom CD full blast all night long !!
CC

you are forgiven for stealing my thunder Susan, and you are quite right, as you are so far ahead of us for seeing the sun rise you get all the worlds news hours before we do.

By the same token, the end of the world on Dec 21st will catch New Zealand first, so please be sure to let us know what it was like! I wonder who should turn the lights off ..... :-D

"more than a match for Ruby?" How kind of you to say so, but you may be right. I am renowned for thinking on my feet. Did I tell you a cheeky door2door pest asked me if I was "the lucky lady of the house" and I swiftly snapped back "no I'm the cleaner".

ah well its getting late, I must go prepare my bed of straw and hope the big bad wolf doesnt put in an appearance.

*wonders where Little Bo Peep has got to*
CC

The Royal Marines play gustily.

Here we are ladies......................standing on the deck, waving our hankerchiefs............ticker tape and confetti raining down............how wonderful it all is.

We have been shown our suite..............no cabin for us.................we also have a balcony...................we can decide if we want to breakfast on that................a very nice little maid has come to help us unpack.................soooooo wonderful.

So, I will let you know the whys and whatfors..................as and when they happen.

Have a litle faith Susan..............once bitten twice shy...............no Casanovas for me.

Not unless he looks like Cary Grant........................

I know I can rely on you Cherry dear, you will keep everything in order..............especially now that most of your rub.....erm..............................new acquisitions have been towed away.......................keep Pat-trish-aaaaah on the straight and narrow.

Bye bye dear friends.................

waving hankerchief furiously
Auntie Petunia

*waving Union Jack furiously at Petunia and her cronies as the USS Liner steams slowly into the horizon*
Oh dear me that did create a draught.

*shouting over the choppy waves*
Have a good cruise, dears. Do remember you have as much right as anyone to dine at the Captains Table. Dont let any Lothario's or Bluebeard's back you into a corner, or a bathtub. Did you remember to pack your sea sickness tablets? Bye bye !

*rubbing hands together* Right then. Lets go back to Motie Towers, Pat rish aaah. I have been instructed to take great care of you. Pedal away my dear, pedal away !!

*thinks* I shall stop being a Little Lamb, Pat rish aaah's teeth are starting to look a bit too sharp for me, as if she has been filing them .....
CC

Walking leisurely along the deck, watching the lights reflected in the water, there is a cooling breeze. Thank goodness I have my pashmina around my shoulders.

I must say our suite is very swish. That dear little maid has done us very well, she has hung up all of our clothes, and turned our beds down.

All of our bedrooms are 'off' the sitting room. I am in with Georgianna because I know of her 'funny turns', Octavia is with her friend Beatrice. She has known her for years. I do not know her yet, time will tell if I decide to be friendly with her. George, Francine and dear little Valentine are in the last bedroom. There is a dear little cot in their room, and a 'listening service' so that we can safely leave him in their capable care.

Dinner tonight was very nice. Four courses, and limitless wine for those who imbibe. I had soft drinks....................as you know.

George and Francine have gone back to their room, claiming to be very tired. Octavia and Beatrice have gone along to play Bridge, and Georgianna and I are standing here looking into the water.

This White Star Line really is unique, who would have thought that SS Canitti would be on her maiden voyage? All is spick and span and tickety boo.

We will have one more turn around the deck, and then I think we will go into the ballroom and listen to the orchestra. We can hear Some Enchanted Evening playing.

Do you know? I think we will have a lovely, lovely time.

Good night dears
Auntie Petunia

I knew I should I should have locked away my cellphone and lost the key. Dear Petunia's Bloooooberrie is really getting some use because she phones constantly to check on Mrs Berry and myself. She must have spent a fortune on credits. But I shall look on the bright side - perhaps Beatrice (who I have not met yet) will throw Petunia's Blooooberrie into the water.

I expect that George and Francine are having a second honeymoon, certainly they didnt get much of a first honeymoon. Too much interference ....... ;-D

I wonder what Mrs Berry is preparing for our dinner tonight .......

CC

We are in Canne. Oh my dears what an exotic place!

All these film stars and people from popular beat combos walking about. One can scarcely walk four steps without falling over an Oscar Winner. [The brother of Michael]

We have been invited aboard a yacht. It seems that Beatrice has family over here. I am warming to her already. It is quite a big yacht, I do not know the cubic capacity, but it seems pretty big to me. We are having drinks on board.

Her nephew is something in diamonds, and is quite handsome in a certain light. He has a look of Omar Sharriff about him. Dark and swarthy, but refined. Yes, I could quite take to him, especially as money is no object. His motto is..............if you have to ask, you cannot afford it! Quite right too!

We are to spend two days here, before we set off again on the Canitti [have you worked it out yet?] so we will not be going back to the Ship until late tonight. There are to be fireworks later, so will look forward to that. Just us Gels today, George and Francine and dear little Valentine are spending time on their own. It is right that they do their own thing, they dont want to hang around with crocks like us.

Last thing we saw was the proud parents pushing the Silver Cross along the esplanade, and going in for a coffee somewhere. I am sure the chance of a bit of fresh air on their own will suit them better.

We will be entertaining now, a certain celebrity couple, with their brood will be joining us.................one thing is for certain, it will not be a quiet evening. We saw them strolling along earlier, pretending to be unconcerned, but secretly holding their heads erect, so there is no sign of a double chin. Too late in our case.

Thank goodness I went to that Phone shop before I left, that one where you tie your hands in knots. They advised me to get a roaming tarriff as it would be cheaper, and gives me the opportunity to keeping in touch with Motie Towers.

I am anxious that all is going swimmingly, and Pat-trish-aaaah and Cherry are being fed properly. Dear Mrs Berry does not work at the week-ends as you know, but I did ask her to bake extra this week as dear Ruby and Smarmie will be arriving at the end of the week I believe.

Thank goodness we are all dressed to impress, I can see Mr and Mrs Whatstheirnames and all their children coming along the jetty. Well.............here is the beginning of our evening!

Toodle Pip
Auntie Petunia

*driven to distraction*

I'd like to think that dear Petunia is missing us all but really she cannot help pulling the strings and controlling the puppets. The phones here have been ringing non stop. I pulled the hall phone lead out of the socket but the phone in the dining room still rang which meant I had to run in there to take dear Petunia's next call. So I pulled the dining room phone lead out of the socket but ... oh you would not believe how many ringing telephones there are in this house.

This morning the mailman delivered a telegram, from Ruby and Smarmie. So much snailmail gets lost in the post, but not this telegram ..... sigh

I must remember to explain to Lesley, that Ruby is related to Scarlett who are both distantly connected to dear Petunia. Ruby came to visit about a year ago, full of talk about their maid Mammy, and life on Tara in general. Ruby brought "a friend" with her, a remarkably mannish and whiskery lady, who rurned out to be Ruby's husband Marmaduke. He wore ladies clothing, and used a ladies' name, to avoid offending Petunia's sensibilities (they claimed), following her unfortunate experiences with various gentlemen of the opposite gender.

However, the truth will Always Out, and thus Marmaduke was totally uncovered.

Petunia soon regretted asking them to make themselves at home - because they did. I think it was the Brylcreme all over the linen pillow cases that upset her the most. Ruby referred to Marmaduke as her dearest Marmy. And the rest of us ladies decided he was rather smarmy, hence his nickname.

And the telegram says that Ruby and Smarmy will be arriving on Monday. Oh dear, and nothing is ready yet.

*dashing away with the smoothing iron*
CC

Q. who gives children a bad name?

A. David and Angie Bowie ... !!

:-D