General Chat

Boom Boom Teresa ........................................................... no I didn't hear a thing :-D

Oh Susan my MOG cousins son his partner and two under 3 fruits are in your beautiful country for 6 weeks they are traveling around in a motor home, reading your weather report I bet they wish they weren't :-S

It's been very humid out in the sticks too Petunia, I've been glowing all day :-(

I must admit I am not as talented as some ........................................................................
..................................I can't whistle :-D

Oh dear Lesley,
I hope your family are enjoying their trip :-D. Are they currently in the North or South Island?. I spoke to my mama today, they had a fine day, we had the wet stuff again :-(.. I hope they are enjoying their travels, not too sure I would want to be in a campervan with little ones...

Fruit rang me today in tears, seems the 'dogs' in question are only to be recorded as menacing not dangerous..... The owner doesn't see why they should buy a new lead for fruit, her perfectly good one was damaged in the melee... The owners are to face fines of some hundreds of dollars and we have to buy a new lead. I want answers from our council. Fruit spoke to two officers today and felt the aggressors were getting the best of it. It was said they were very sorry for the attack. Really ??? Why has the fence situation not been addressed yet and why is there a 'beware of the dog' sign on the fence. Fruit and I will pen a letter of disgust to the council, of the system. My fruit is still very nervous about walking her pup after the attack. I am seething..

Lesley, just heard it is snowing in the South Island :-D.

~~~~ to all

Susan I am tutting like Junana doing a spanish fling. I was on a Late yesterday followed by an early today and came home to find FTY with a swollen hand and fingers like a pound of butchers best. He had fell at school on to his left hand playing the devils football yesterday lunchtime. You may remember he fractured his distal radius on right hand a couple of years ago playing rugby. I hithered down to the Doctors and hithered out with an x ray form for a possible fracture of the distal radius on the left hand :-|

Mind you he still managed to play the devils x box and write ok at school so hopefully its just a sprain or somthing similar.

My goodness your poor Son Fruit. Im not supprised you are spitting feathers. I would be.

Your poor Daughter as well. There seems to be one rule for the dangerous dog owners and another for the law abiding public. any how whats the difference between menacing and dangerous. It seems to be the same thing really.

I did not see the photos of Nigella but OH did and said she looked really scared. If I were her I would take him to the cleaners and run to the hills.

Lesley, its been very very very hot at toil today. Thankfully we have fans and a water cooler so there is a little relief. I have put out the washng now in the hope it may dry.

Any way talking of the heat Auntie dear, How does one keep cool in this weather when one is sweating hot ;-)

Yours, orff to boil some eggs


Teresa :-D

Evening Ladies,

What a sorry lot we are.

Children are a joy dears, but they are also a full time job. I thinks they will orft ones hands by the age of 18, but no, they are like your right arm. Always there. Look at me and my grand-daughter Pat-trish-aaaaaaah.

She must be 40ish if she is a day. The whiskers on her chin bear testament to that.

I fully understand the sweltering heat dears. But remember a lady never, ever, sweats. She glows.............................try running your wrists under the cold tap dears, it does cool one down.

A little eau de cologne on a lace edged hankerchief patted on the brow may bring relief. Remember to also carry smelling salts at all times, especially if one cannot loosen ones stays. I think it is now safe to remove ones liberty bodice now.

Did you boil the eggs in a pan dear. Or just place them under your hat?

#runs for cover, as quickly as a 93 year old woman can#

Pip Pip Gels
Auntie Petunia

Hallo Auntie, you have been 93 for several years now dear. Are you like Miss Joan and Jackie Collins who seem to get younger every year? Miss Joan is a gal. I feel she orften has a little bit too much make up on, unlike your goodself who is looking a little pale around the gills. Do pay a visit to Miss C and she will point you in the right direction :-D

Egg boiling?????? Well FTY paid the said visit to A&E and the X ray today. Thankfully tis only a soft tissue injury which is now spoting a removable splint. I do not think I could put up will all the palava of plastic bags over plaster for showering!!!!! I di pop up to my place of paid toil. FTY was moaning about the heat. AhHa at least he knows why I glow in the dark now ;-)

FTE was in communication. Tis the Fruits Birthday tomorrow. She shares it with dear William, father to be, an old school friend of mine, a cousin and FTYs friend. She has her Birthday gifts on the seven seas and has been given the day orff to celebrate.

Along with the Fruits Birthday comes the longest day. The nights will start pulling in and winter will cast its gloom around again :-(

This is why we must have a bit of a do. Are you up for a Gals night out Auntie P? I think there are some nice spots here in Essex, we could go to the Sugar hut and take Pat rish aaaa with us. The TOWIE gals all work/own beauty salons and are a dab hand with the wax. They would have Pat rish aaa sorted before you could wink and blink. Im sure that Lesley would love a knees up and Susan could pop down the cyber hatch as well. I will leave you to arrange things. Your organisational skills are noted in this part of the world. I am at paid toil but will pop in to see how things are going.


Seeyalater

Teresa :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Tut tut, tutty tut, page 2 again.

I am sorry Teresa dear, I know this thread has been going a couple of years now, but I was 92 when it started, I have had one birthday..............93..............and I will be having another, God willing, in a few months time.

And as for asking the Misses Collins for advice, I think not dear. I do not want my skin tied in a knot on the top of my head. How would I arrange my hair over it. This is one person who does not wear a wig. Not like some..............

Happy Birthday to Teresa's fruit. I hope she had a lovely, lovely day, somewhere warm.

of course I shall arrange a party for when she returns. Ice cream and jelly may be a little passé for the dear gel. But I hear you can get vodka jelly now, and Baileys ice cream. Would that suit? We could play Twister, well, they could play, my bones would snap at the mere thought of it.

I know you said it in jest dear, but as you and Lesley live within a spit and a jump of each other, I think I might descend on you one day. I could come up on the train, and you could show me the rural delights of your county. I have visited dear Cherry in her town, and met dear Upsidedown Susan when she came to our shores.....

Why are you running away dears? Is it something I said?

Puzzled
Auntie Petunia

oooh Auntie,

A visit would be fun :-) It would be lovely to meet up at some stage with the Ladies who lunch :-) Im not running, I have no energy left today. I am using it up trying to see in the dark

FTE has just sent a message via the power of the blueberry. She has also sent one by the power of the facebook. We do not have the facebook but FTY does. He extracted himself orff the devils x box long enough to show us the photos. FTE is watching the dolphins and the Sunset. We are watching Lee Mac in the gloom and dark :-|

Tootling orff to get a nice mug of hot chocky

Teresa

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ to Lesley and Susan

Happy Birthday FTY I hope you have enjoyed your day. x

Ooh a mini meet what a hoot that would be :-D

Susan I spoke to MOG's uncle today he didn't know what town his grandson and family were in all he new was they had been affected by the bad weather so were moving away from the snow. Bless uncle he is very good for his age (not quite as old as Auntie) but he is sometimes forgetful :-( I pray he doesn't forget anything when he is driving his car. :-0

I know Mrs Brown's Boys is not every ones cup of tea ................................................ ..........................................but it is mine and I am going to see the show at the 02 Thursday :-D I can't wait :-D :-D :-D

~~~~~~ , Hello Ladies,

OOh, a mini meet without CC and moi :-(. You must take photographs and hemail them to us, please, pretty please :-\. Sounds a great idea to me, I hope you can make it happen.

Lesley, the weather has been awful in places.. We had sunshine today but cold temps. I hope your family enjoys their visit, weather aside.
I too enjoy Mrs Brown and her lot..... My Mama at 86 likes it too, my Papa does not... I see they are going to be in Australia next year. I would love to go and see the show live...

Teresa, dolphins are so sweet, lucky FTE. I have FB but there is not a lot to see. I fear my fruits keep me well at arms length :-(.

Petunia, are you fit and well again now?. A lady of your years must be very careful you know. Even an old Duke must be careful at his age :-D. Have you got used to dear CC's absence yet?. I must say the place is a tad quiet now.... Sometimes quiet is not good :-(.

OH is watching the oval ball game, AB's - France. Next up is your Lions - Wallabies..... I may retire for the evening with my book....

Have a lovely day ladies, hope the sun shines on you all. We have a lovely moon tonight and no doubt a frost in the morning...

Toodle pip

Good evening dear Gels,

Well what a strange noise last night. Lots of whooping and howling, baying and crying. There was a full, full moon last night, and it kept disappearing behind clouds, and then peeping out again.

As I may have mentioned before, there are more than a few foxes here, considering we are in the middle of town, and they merrily trot along the road at night. Tis a little disconcerting when I take Trickey Woo out for her late night pee pee. Can I say that? Too late, I have!

Last night, the foxes were on the prowl, and it seems we have a new she cat in town, as the toms were crying for her too. Crikey was a racket. I threw a few shoes out of the window, but to no avail. They kept of yeowing til the dawn. I was NOT amused at all.

I am most touched by your enquiries after my health dears. As you know I am as tough as old boots, tis being brought up in India dears, the heat has no effect on me at all. Neither has the rain. Monsoon weather is what I was raised on. Sometimes it was so heavy one could not see from one side of the road t'other!!!

I believe with the time lapse dear Susan, we have now had the Rugby match. I do not know the score dear, as I am not of an enquiring mind regarding the oval ball. But hearty congratulations to the winners. How tactful was that? Not like me at all!!!!

Teresa dear, how wonderful to see real life Flippers! Are they as nature intended in the sea, or in a theme park? Your fruit must be having the time of her life. I congratulate her spirit. Well done dear!

Lesley dear, NO ONE is as old as me. Sometimes when I get out of bed in the morning my bones crack like jumping crackers. I have never been Down Under in the Antipodes, but I may do one day, just to surprise dear Susan.

Yes dear, it would be a hoot to meet up. We must make a few preliminary dates for when the weather improves. As we all have our good works to do, maybe a Saturday would be suitable. I think you will be pleasantly surprised when I DO decide to grace you with my presence ! #preens#

Have a lovely weekend dears, I have a full day tomorrow............................I think I may need to investigate Evangeline a little further, and make a note not to eat the cakes.

Night All
AP

Goooooood evening Ladies, and all those people who peep in on us, and never speak! We may have some gentlemen callers too. Do come and visit do. We don't bite. Not hard anyway. #titters#

I digress, I do hope you have all had a tickety boo weekend. We had a full moon again, and the clouds passed over it like a Hammer Horror. Trickey Woo went a bit doolalley, but we managed to calm her by throwing a cover over her bed, and she was a bit more docile when the moonlight was not bathing her in its glow.

Great news dears, George, Francine and dear little Valentine have returned home. My, my how dear Valentine has grown. He is toddling now dears, and he is into everything. I have had to 'move everything up', so that his little prying fingers cannot touch the Royal Doulton. He really is a lovely little boy. He has dark hair, and the bluest of eyes. A real Bobby Dazzler.

I know he is not really family, [remember, George is the son of Georgianna?] but he is like a son to me. Kind and thoughtful, and he calls me Auntie Pet. so how cannot not think of him in that way. Francine is more beautiful than ever too. She has caught the sun, from their time in France, and has a smattering of freckles over her nose. She has a bloom about her. Oh...................you don't think perhaps that she could be.........................................?

They visited yesterday, straight after church, and stayed for luncheon. Even Pat-trish-aaaaah was pleased to see them. And we all know how finnecky she can be. She was bouncing Valentine up and down on her podgy knees, and singing to him [badly!] They bought me back some elderflower wine and some virgin olive oil from the Region. Wine and Virgin, shows what they think of me!!!!!

Alas it seems that they will not be here too long. They have simply returned to sell up and move to France to be near Francine's parents, and perhaps take over the Boulangerie. Her parents are both in ill-health, and there is no brother to take over the business, so they will go and become full time owners of the family concern. The air is fresh there, the sun shines, and the schooling seems to suit little Valentine, who is growing up bi-lingual. Georgianna is a little miffed, but loves them dearly, and does not want to stand in their way. Besides we can all visit later on in the year.

Church was uneventful, and I steered clear of the tea and cakes this week. Beatrice partook of refreshements, and was bilious later. I smell a rat somewhere.

Pat-trish-aaaaah has advised me to search the Tinternet for poisoners in the last 10 years, to see if there is a likeness there. Surely not!

I hope you all had a pleasant time with your families dear. Do tell!

A little cooler tonight I think. I shall have to search out a shawl for my shoulders. One must never sit in a draught.

Toodle Pip
Auntie Petunia

Good Evening Ladies

Stomping in stamps feet twice and screams like a spoiled brat :-|

I have two gift cards one for a much needed facial and one for a manicure both I was saving to use before I go to London with my friends.

Last week I tried to book an appointment for the manicure ............................ no sorry we cant fit you in until Saturday 29th, thank you but no thank you I need it done before the 27th .................................... phone to book my facial ......................... .........yes madam we can fit you in at 1pm on the 26th .......................... perfect...... ....................today I get a call to say L....a has gone off work sick, sorry we will have to cancel your appointment :-( :-( :-(

Susan my cousin that lives in France has her family over from New Zealand she said they are from a place called Nelson somewhere in the outback if that is what it is called in NZ :-D

Stomping off stamping and screaming.
Lesley x

Oh Lesley, what a shame. I know the feeling. We had a weekend booked away in April to use vouchers fruit and her Oh had given us for Christmas.... We had a bereavement in the family and poof, weekend gone. Am still trying to reschedule :-(
I hope your feet are not too sore from all that stomping?

Petunia, ~~~~~. You shall have to take yourself off to France to visit dear little Valentine, his mama and papa... Is there to be another little bundle of joy ??. Do tell. We are all suckers for a new baby - especially when we can hand them back to their mama or papa ;-).

Have you tried your extra virgin olive oil yet Petunia?. Delicious stuff !!. How was the wine?... I remember once in a restaurant, dipping my bread in what I thought was a jug of olive oil.... No, it was a mini jug of wine :-S. Now a mini jug of wine is of absolutely no use to me ;-)..

Lesley, Nelson is in the South Island and a lovely place. If they are in the 'outback', perhaps they live rurally on a farm?

Friday is the 55th wedding anniversary of my Mama and Papa. Today I organised for some flowers to be delivered to them on Friday. Then I went to look for a bank to rob :-D.... Mama mia, they aint cheap... Still, a milestone indeed, my Mama deserves a medal ;-)..

Time to get the chook into the oven , veg is peeled at the ready. Yum !!

~~~~~ to Teresa

Toodle pip
Susan

Good evening Ladies,

Lesley, fret not dear, when in London, do drop in and have a facial and manicure here. I can assure you that Pat-trish-aaaaah is a whizz.

She may well have fingers like half a pound of sausages, but she knows her stuff, and will pummel your cheeks til they bloom and blossom. For a woman of her size he is remarkably find with the nail polish too. She will give a reverse French if you like. I must say, her bedroom is like a Beauty Parlour, with all her pots and potions. Pity none of them work on her.

Now do calm down dear, you will burst a bloodvessel in your eye, and that will not look particularly attractive dear. You will have to wear an eyepatch!!!! Tutty tut.

Hello Susan dear, of course you are right. We will all troop over to France to visit dear George and his dear little family. Our last outing to the Gallic side was a bit of an adventure, so I see no reason why this one should not be all sweetness and light.

I have admission ladies, I use the virgin olive oil on my face at night. This tip I picked up many years ago in Spain, when I had my unfortunate incident. A little massaged into the skin does wonders! If it is good enough for Jerry who is Very Tall, then it is good enough for me.

A very Happy Anniversary to Susan's Mama and Papa. A milestone indeed. Very well done. I shall send them a bunch of virtual flowers down the cyber hatch. They will be picked from my garden and be very fragrant. Stocks, peonies and freesia. A mixture of white and pink blooms. I hope they will be acceptable.

I have to admire you Susan for doing your own cooking. It is very admirable. As you know I cannot do a thing for myself. One wasn't brought up to be domesticated dear. One went to school, got educated and then got married.

Unfortunately my own True Love turned out to be a bounder, but there lies another tale, that does not improve with the telling...........................

I do hope dear Teresa is not burning the candle at both ends. #frets#

Good night all
Auntie Petunia

Coooeeee,

I have been on a bit of paid toil but now I am back. A little mini meet would be a treat. I'm a little booked/toiling over the summer but a naice little early Autumn gathering would be nice.

Lesley I had the same problem booking for a little varnish on my toes. I feel that a bit of retraining once I retire would be in order. I could get my dear niece to teach me the basics and make a nice little earner ;-)

Now what joy that your French family are here Auntie, did you mention a bloom or two. a patter of tiny feet????

I know you are busy Auntie but did I see you crowd surfing last night at Glastonbury? Mr Dizzi Rascal was there in the crowd and I am sure I saw you there.
What do you mean you are too old??? Sir Brucie is there and the combined ages of Keef, Mick, Charlie and Ronnie.

I have winged at OH and said we must try and get tickets next time. failing that we could pitch up at a nearby camp site and enjoy a free festival ;-)

FTE is somewhere in the med and getting a nice bit of sun. FTY is playing the devils football. The fresh air will do him good :-)

I do not have FB Susan dear. Sometimes I think it is a good thing. I don't always think I would like to know all that is going on! I have to nag FTY to show the photos instead ;-)

Ladies, I suddenly have the power of the spellcheck on here. I do not know why. It was never here before :-S My spelling will be tip top now :-D

Tootling orff to add some jam to my Victoria sponge and sending it down the cyber hatch to you all to sample

Teresa

Ugh, the mud is incredible, I cannot begin to tell you how sticky it is. Thank goodness one has Hunters!!!

Now Teresa, that is very clever of you, how did you know that I would be at Glasto? I am a personal friend of the Organiser, he of the hippy shirt and beard.

I am set up in a tent offering good advice. As you know I like to spread my good tiding here and there, hither and thither, and all over. I dispense it whether people want it or not.

So far I have advised on keeping ones feet dry, how to find your tent, and how to stop yourself going deaf from standing too near the speakers on the Pyramid stage.

I did not see Mr Dizzi dear, nor did one surf the crowd.....................tutty tut!!!!!

I hear old Brucie is to be singing with his grand-daughter, one cannot stop the man from singing and dancing. Nice to see someone older than me though.

I must say, the ride down here on the tuk-tuk took it out of dear Pat-trish-aaaaah she was puffing her way past Stonehenge, when she realised she could have put on the engine, and we free pedalled the rest of the way. She has gawn for a lay down to recover.

What is that commotion over yonder? I believe someone is challenging other to mud wrestle. My, but she is a big gel. Muscles like hams.....................oh no please! Please don't tell me......................I recognise that frizzy hair even though it is covered in mud.......................Heavens to Betsy.........................I cannot believe it.......................Pat-trish-aaaaaah!!!!!

Indeed this mini-meet sounds very nice. You and Lesley arrange something between you, and let me know, then I shall descend upon you. Preferably the week end would suit me best.

The sponge was lovely by the way, very light.

Slip sliding away......................................


AP

Good Afternoon Ladies.

I have returned from my couple of days in London safe, well, exhausted and very happy :-D we stayed in a nice hotel in Greenwich or as I heard a tourist say "so this is Green Wich" .............................. Auntie that did cause me to titter behind my lace edged handkerchief :-D

Mrs Brown's Boys well what can I say :-S having watched every program on the TV I was a little disappointed with the show :-( I realise the show was written first and adapted for TV but really thought they would have written some new material, sadly not. :-( :-( :-(

Friday we cruised along the Thames into the city ........................................................ ....................okay we jumped on the Thames Clipper, a girls gotta dream :-D we visited The Tate Modern and just about every tourist spot from Bankside to Borough Market, I haven't enough fingers to count how times I have walked that walk and it wasn't until Friday that I noticed the remains of Winchester Palace and it's beautiful rose window. :-S

Belated 55 years of bliss to your Mama and Papa Susan, yes my cousin said her relation from Nelson are sheep farmers amongst other things.

Thank you for the delicious sponge Teresa ............................... I can be free most Saturdays.

Dear Auntie Petunia we all know............................... Mud mud glorious mud there's nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.........................just what I need today.

Lesley x

Huffing and Puffing with disgust!!!!!

Well I am most displeased, I was told emphatically that I could sing Islands in The Stream with Kenny Rogers, and at the last moment, as I walked on the stage, someone threw a butterfly net over me!!!!

The mud has dried up I am pleased to report, and has become crusty. I hasten to add so has Pat-trish-aaaaaah. titters....................what a shame she was so covered in mud, what a shame there are no showers, what a shame she is standing in the corner of the tent, as stiff as a board, with only her mouth being able to move. I am gently shoving chips between her lips.

I shall hose her down later on tonight, I need her to pedal home first thing in the morning. It will probably take all day, both pedalling and us now being motorised, so do not expect me back until tomorrow evening at the earliest.

Did you visit Motie Towers, Lesley dear? If you did, I do hope that Mrs Berry asked you in for tea and cakes. I do like to have her there when I am away. She is a dear lady, and her daughter, Holly, a real treasure. Did you see any of the Pride carnival dear? I hear it went well, but I have not see any news coverage.

Yes Saturdays are best for me too dears. Sort it out, and if I can travel from Liverpool Street, I will get to you.

The sun is just going down dears, see you soon

AP

Auntie Petunia I suggested to my friends that we pop to Motie Towers for a refreshing cup of Rosie ....................................... I can tell you they were not amused when Mrs Berry sent us off with a flea in our ear.

No we didn't see The Pride Carnival :-( I would like to see it so maybe next year we can, I <3 London but there is always so much going on it's hard to fit everything in.

Oooooh, #staggers into thread#. My poor behind, I am stiff and sore. Sitting since 7am this morning, joggling about in the back of a tuk-tuk is not my idea of fun. However, we are now HOME, and jolly good too. I have mud in my little crevices that will take the power-shower to remove!!

Now, I have had a word with Mrs Berry, and she said that had she known that you, dear Lesley, was coming she would have baked a cake...........................some biscuits and a cottage loaf.

We have had more than a few religious people knocking at the door recently, asking us to purchase their publications, and I am afraid the Mrs Berry thought you might have been one of these people. However, should you have had Mr Tennant with you, she would definitely have let you in.

There has not been many piccies in the paper of the Pride Carnival, only one in the Evening Standard. I was once in Oxford Street, perusing the drapery shops when the Pride went past. Singing, dancing, blowing whistles, whooping and making merry. What can I say? It was very colourful.

I shall sort out the rubber ring for watching the tv later, I am saddle sore!!!!!

Creaking up the stairs

Auntie Petunia