General Chat

#splutters# Page 4, page 4! What are we doing on page 4?

Good evening ladies, how are we all? Enjoying the sun?

#splutters again# Footsteps in the dust? What dust? I must say I did not notice that Lady Gunne-Downe was missing because I had a very important mission!

I have spent the weekend at the Chelsea Flower Show dears. As you probably will have guessed, they named a garden after me. Preens. They are calling it Petunia's Garden, and of course the main flowers in the hanging baskets are......................petunias. Well that would never be a question of Mastermind!

I spent the night in the Chelsea Hospital, if it was good enough for others, it will be good enought for me. I must say the dear Pensioners were a tonic. They chatted merrily away at breakfast, and I got to hear their life stories.

I do so admire our boys and gels in the Armed Forces. These old boys all have a tale of derring do to tell. They still have a twinkle in their eye, and a spring in their step. It made me feel very humble.

I hope you are having a lovely time with your loved one ladies.

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

page 4 Petunia dear? I think one should be grateful one is not on Page 3 ... !

I caught a few minutes of the Chelsea Flower show while channel surfing the other day, and thought I recognised you in the background, Petunia, your hat was something of a give-away, a la Mrs Shilling the lady with the most extravagant head wear.

well, a very good day to you all, and enjoy your bank holiday weekend :-)

oooohhhh, why can't a lazy Susan be called a lazy 'Teresa' or 'Lesley'?????.

Who named the darned thing in the first place ?. Answers on the back of a postcard please.

How do you do Lady Gunne-Downe, forgive me if I don't stand on ceremony with you.... We don't do that down here :-). Tall poppies and all that jazz..
Err, why is there dust on the staircase, are the gels not keeping up with their chores?. Maybe Lady whotsits, when you find her, could repay your hospitality a little?. Shove a mop in her hand and set her too. 'Lazy Lady G-D' ?, no, too fussy..

Ladies, yesterday we awoke to a heavy mist, as it lightened I took the pup for a walk through the park. The moon was still high and the sun on the up. I wish I had my camera to hand. I saw such pretty sights, a pine tree with its needles sporting droplets of mist, glistening in the rising sun. I saw a myriad of spider webs adorning the fences, just like an array of lace doilies. So pretty (when the spiders were nowhere near me). At one point on my walk, I reached out my arms, the sun at my right finger tips to the east and the moon at my left finger tips to the west. For a split second, there was perfect peace... and then I came home to face the day :-P.

I am a little bit excited, I think I have found another link in my missing family. A living link even. :-) :-). I am waiting to hear from a person I contacted for confirmation... I can barely contain my excitement. My papa may have another link in his chain. I feel a visit to the UK may be on the agenda. Must just pop off and rob a bank :-D

Toodle ,

~~~~~~~ to the troops and peeps

I would say "good morning ladies, and all our readers", but I see its actually nearly 1 pm BST, so I will say good afternoon. I havent had lunch yet which is why I am still operating on AM instead of PM.

We woke to rain this morning, but I wont complain as its good for the garden - and saves me having to trek around with the hosepipe.

actually Susan I own a Lazy Susan but would never have mentioned it for fear of offending you. I know for a fact that you are far from lazy. I expect your next visit to the UK will occur when I am no longer a member of this site but you have my email address. I hope your new link is a Definite. The thrill of the chase ..... I do miss it, but there is no one left to chase, no new leads, no loose ends to tie up ..... what is a gal to do.

Ah spiders webs ..... they are very pretty when covered in frost rime, as well as raindrops, also morning dew. Did you know, a cobweb is a spiders web that has been abandoned. I heard of someone who named their home COBWEBS - her acronym for "Currently Owned By Woolwich Equitable Building Society.

Lady Gunne-Downe is proving to be a most elusive house guest, she is something of a Scarlet Pimper-Nell, always missing during the day, but she turns up for meals without fail. You will have noticed that dear Petunia has stopped complaining about my eating habits, and healthy appetite. Lady GD has an even healthier appetite than do I. You should have seen her lick out the custard jug last night ..... waste not, want not.

And dear Petunia is spending more and more time at the Old Sailors And Soldiers Home (OSASH) she founded in Lavinia's memory. I am starting to think she has an "involvement" there of a romantic nature. Last night she came home singing "If you were the only boy in the world, and I was the only girl".

Had to drop all yesterday and go search for new drapes. I'd laundered our machine-washable trusty warm red dralon drapes, one pair hangs at the landing window, one pair hangs at the front door.

These curtains are - were - in excess of 20 years old, because we had them at our old home and brought them with us in 1992; and until yesterday they always washed well. Alas, no longer. They didnt wash well and were only fit for the council tip. So we dashed orf to Dunelm Mills who do a curtain made2measure service. I looked at some ready mades but although they had a lovely pair of curtains just right for the landing window they didnt have a matching pair suitable for the front door.

So, made2measure it was. It cost too much money, even after the sale discount was applied, but I am still living in the 1960s where pricing is concerned, and I dare say their prices are competitive. I chose a lovely warm "wine red" fabric, as I wanted to keep to the existing colour scheme. The curtains will be made up fully lined with matching tiebacks and should be ready in two weeks.

I suppose I did well to keep the old drapes going for over 20 years ...... nothing lasts for ever does it.

Well a womans work is never done, so I had better go and do some :-(

Lady Bung Ho, do I know her and can she stop it raining here :-(


Just watching The One Show. There is a bloke making clouds indoors. I think we have enough out here. Grrrrrrr.

I will return later Gals and crew

Teresa
:-)

Tish, tut and balderdash!!

An involvement indeed!!!!! Twas not me singing at all. Twas Beatrice, who came home with me. She had a sniff of the barmaid's apron, and was weaving all over the place. Did you not notice that she has a contralto voice, and me, as you well know, I am a soprano. No, not the mobsters dears, the lady what does sing with a high voice!

Yes, Teresa, I saw the indoor clouds. One question dears. Why?

Susan, a thousand apologies if I have offended. With your outdoor lifestyle, as opposed to us city dwellers, you could never be lazy. Perish the thought.

Now...............................I may be mistaken, but we seem to have a pair of curtains missing from the Drawing Room. Mention no names dears, just follow the direction of my eyes.............................

I am not best pleased with the nasturtiums that there is dust around Motie Towers, I cannot abide dust, it smacks of slackness of someones part. Follow my eyes again. I wondered if it might be talcum powder...............some people like to dust themselves with the stuff, and if sufficient is used, One can leave a trail.

So where exactly is Lady Gunne-Down dear? Not hiding out with Pat-trish-aaaaah in her flatlet I hope. I also hope she is not putting ideas into her head. Goodness knows she needs little encouragement to do something silly......................oh dear!

Hello to the new watcher. #waves furiously#

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

No I dont think that Lady Gunne-Downe is hiding out with Pat rish aaaah in her flatlet

Its worse than that

I think that Lady Gunne-Downe is nesting up in the attic rooms, hence your missing curtains, the cutlery that is AWOL from my kitchen, and the disappearing cushions .... oh you didnt notice those. Hence the trail in the dust on the staircase leading to the attic rooms.

It's not dust? In that case, Lady Gunne-Downe has been liberally availing herself of the talcum powder generously provided in all the ensuites in the Towers. Still, ladies, why should we worry, for we have a member of the aristocracy residing in the Towers. Nothing like raising the standards !!

The time to worry is when the primus stove disappears up into the attic rooms as well, but for the time being the dear Lady GD turns up for breakfast, elevenses, brunch, lunch, afternoon tea and high tea, and dinner, without fail, each day. What worries me is ..... if she gains weight, will she fall through the rotting (dry rot and woodworm) floorboards?

#slams door with a resounding thud. Spies from peephole as the white van starts up.............drives to the end of the driveway, and turns right.................#

Whew! Well that was a parlavar and no mistake, hopefully we can get back to normal.

Well dears, what can I say? Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin..............

Last night, just after dear Cherry informed me of the position viz a viz the curtains, I received a phonecall. A very fine sounding gentleman, with rounded vowels introduced himself as Dr Frank Instyne. He began by passing the time of day, or night, whichever the case may be, he then began probing me about the visitors I had had recently.

I always respect the caring profession dears, and saw no reason not to answer. He asked if I had any female visitors within the last week or so. I mentioned Beatrice, and called her down. She took the phone off me, and answered a few questions herself. She then pass the phone back to me.

Gently the good Doctor prised out of me that we had aristocracy staying with us. I swear I heard a stifled laugh at the end of the phone. However, he then proceeded to give a description of Lady Gunne-Down!!!!! The clothing may have been different, but the small scar above her eyebrow was a dead giveaway...............

He then told me not to be alarmed, which sent me into a blind panic, and told me that we had Minnie the Mauler in our attic! She had quite calmly walked out of her Rest Home, raided a charity shop of its finery, and latched onto the nearest guillible, erm, sorry dear, sympathetic person that she could find.

AND SHE IS IN MY ATTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just before midnight, two fine upstanding men, and a dear little lady with a kindly face arrived on the doorstep. They came into the Parlour. We waited until we could no longer head footsteps above our heads.

Dear Lady Gunne-Down had a surplus of food last night, along with a bottle of Madeira, and was definitely sleepy when she retired.

I shall not concern you with the details dear, but I suspect Minnie was pleased to see her 'friends' and left with them without a whisper...................apparently Pat-trish-aaaaaah had been pestering her, showing her how to clack casternets. One can have too much of a good thing, doncha know!

So peace has been regained dears, and we can rest safely in our beds.

Slipping the bolt securely across the front door...............

Auntie Petunia

good afternoon, my word isnt it quiet here today, has anyone seen Lady Gunne-Downe?

She left? but she didnt say goodbye.

She was really whooo???? Minnie the Mauler? That is terrible. Are you inferrerrating that I am gullible? No I am kind hearted, and I felt quite sorry for the lady because she seemed to be dispossessed - so many aristocrats are having to sell their homes due to the constraints of inheritance tax and lack of servants who will work for a pittance. She was in need of a roof over her head, and with the four wings of Motie Towers there are plenty of roofs to go over heads here. She certainly seemed well connected. Not many people can claim to be related to the Belfrey Battes.

Pat rish aaaah tried pestering me, showing me how to click castanets. I soon cured that ........... I cut the string that holds each castanet together.

Well I shall just have to go out again and look for another lost soul in need of a friend. I dont mind speaking to strange people. A stranger is a friend we havent met yet. And there is always room for one more strange person at Motie Towers. :-S

I've been down the River again and purchased two books on Greek and Roman mythology because I didnt have any mythology in one's home library and this is an oversight I have been meaning to rectify for some time.

I remember when a small child of my acquaintance dreamed up a money making wheeze, she started lending her books to her classmates for 10 pence a time. When I found out - because a little boy turned up to borrow a book - I gave him his money back and told him to visit the library where he could borrow books for free, and I sent the money-making child to her room, penniless.

Speaking of curtains - Dunelm Mills called today to say the fabric I chose is out of stock, but hopefully in next week. This means instead of a two week delivery time, it will be three weeks ... grrrrrrrrrr .

No, no of course you must go out dear. Bring a bloom to your cheeks.

Just let me know when you are off out tomorrow and I will give you a ball of twine, and a bag to breadcrumbs so that you know how to find your way home!

Good night ladies, and all of the silent majority.

Auntie Petunia

Good Evening Ladies.

I hope you all enjoyed the sunny bank holiday weekend :-)

Foot prints in the dust and Teresa doing the ironing tut tut ......................... one just cannot get the reliable staff these day's :-( hence my recent absence ....... .......................... my housekeeper, cook, gardener and chief bottle washer all abandoned me, leaving me to all the nasty menial task ...................... lest I forget the nanny also deserted me leaving moi holding the baby :-| .................. ... at my time of life I should be taking a leaf out of Lazy Susan's book ;-) ;-) ;-)

Ladies do you like the new man in my ..........................................................
dreams :-D :-D :-D

*glares at Lesley* ................. he's already mine !!!! :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D lol

well good morning ladies, here I am, and I have found a new house guest. Please meet Bertha Day, the midwife. She is in dire need of accommodation near the nurses home, which is fully occupied by nurses so there isnt a free room for dear Bertha. We bumped into each other - well it is very easy to bump into me because I do take up quite a lot of space with my hip measurements - and when I'd helped Bertha to her feet and gathered her shopping bags I bought her a coffee and we got chatting which is how I know her life story.

Bertha Day might not be an aristocrat, but she is a worthy lady and a useful member of society. You never know Petunia, but you might need a midwife very soon. No dear not for yourself personally but ....... *eyes swivel to Pat rish aaaah* ..... one should always be prepared for the unexpected. Especially after Romany boys with dark flashing eyes have been parking their caravans in the back garden.

Now, which room do you think Bertha would like? The blue room in the South Wing? all right dear I will show her the way there and when I come back we can all have a nice pot of tea. To save Mrs Berry the bother I will prepare a tea tray myself and use one of the little tray doilies I have been crocheted in the dead of night when I cannot sleep.

Walk this way Bertha .......... yes if I walked any other way I wouldnt need the talcum powder. Pat rish aaaah will bring all your bags, when she stops stuffing her face - anyone would think she was eating for two ..... :-D :-D ;-) ;-)

Right!!!!! Lets get this out of the way, and over and done with! Dear David is not Lesley's nor is he Cherry's. He is MINE. Thank you!!!

Oh Cherry dear, do you have to keep bringing home waifs and strays. I KNOW this woman looks like a nurse, and indeed wears a uniform, but that bag she was carrying sounded more like a plumbers mate's kitbag, than a bag containing medical equipment.

I am a little concerned the way you are referring to Pat-trish-aaaah as being in a delicate condition dear. I am sure that she has 'changed' if you know what I mean; I am not so sure that she CAN become in the family way. I do believe the whiskers on her chin would put off suitable suitors....................

Ah, now what is on the television? That Crimewatch programme looks interesting from the trailer....................................what? That safebreaker looks more like a woman than a man. No! Surely not! Could it be?

Cheeeeeeeerrrrrrrryyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!

I can assure you Petunia dear that Bertha Day is a midwife on call, waiting for a room to become available in the nurses home. She has the most impressive Sister's belt around her waist, and a fobwatch attached to her ample bosom. And the equipment you saw in her bag is a sphygom .... a sphygigothingummy .... a spiv ... a blood pressure testing kit.

I have had the most brilliant idea, I want to ensure that you will never be alone when I am gone.

You have four wings here, and so many empty rooms (excluding That Wardrobe). The South Wing can be turned into a private maternity hospital with birthing baths in every room, which will ensure that mamas-to-be can have their offspring in a quiet environment.

The fees to be charged will supplement the meagre amount of interest you receive from all your investments. Bertha Day will organise it all, and provide you with Statements of Accounts every month You will be a Godmother to goodness knows how many infants, all of whom will grow up grateful to you for providing them with the best start in life, and who will remember you every birthday and christmas.

And Bertha is very grateful for this fine opportunity to practice her profession in congenial surroundings.

I dont know who it was who had the lead role in Crimewatch on this occasion, but it wasnt Bertha Day. Or her twin brother.

Oh I doooo feel pleased with myself !! :-D :-D

Age before beauty Ladies ....................................... he's all mine!!!!!

in my dreams ;-) ;-) ;-)

#Delicately wipes the drool from the corner of my mouth#

Sorry Lesley, you are making the fatal mistake of going against my wishes..............Dear David is MINE, and that is the end to the matter! Tutty tut!

I am not so sure about this Bertha Day, dear Cherry, and certainly I will NOT be giving my home open to a load of fat women, about to drop their sprogs!

I shall give Bertha to Monday, and if she has not found a suitable place to lay her head, out she goes!

#walks of muttering about 'taking liberties'#

well ladies, you may curtsey to me. And dont clap just throw fivers. Today I have been to visit King Richard III, in Leicester, ergo I have been touched by royalty.

Who was that who whispered I have scrofula ....... !!!

The exhibition was a matter of "mixed emotions" however - interesting because I already knew the most of the details from watching the TV documentaries on the subject. Yet, disappointing because there was only a model of the Kings head, instead of the full length mannequin, fully garbed, I had expected to see. I was told this is because the exhibition was put together in a hurry.

You would have loved where we went next - to the Leicester Guildhall, a Tudor building, and it was just wonderful in there, so rich in the atmosphere of history. The cells are with the Guildhall and there are models of prisoners in each cell, who all looked "right charmers" and the sort of people I wouldnt care to meet in Hookey Street in the dead of night.

Then we went into Leicester Cathedral which is right by the Guildhall, and I signed a Remembrance book for Lee Rigby, and bought a Richard III mug and tea towel. I wonder what Jesus would have said about such trading on religious premises.

The weather held fair, and we went for a meal at a Toby somewhere in Leicester, the food was OK and the service was good, but ..... the dining chairs were thickly covered with dust. We complained, on the grounds of hygiene, and the excuse given was "refurbishment". I said that refurbishment shouldnt stop the cleaners from wiping over the chairs properly.

what was that you said Petunia dear? someone taking liberties. Dear me. Who could that be. Give me the name and I will deal with them.

Now, the maternity beds have been ordered, also curtains and frames to go around each bed, and bedside cabinets, and birthing baths. The delivery men (no pun intended) will be here tomorrow to deliver the beds etc, and from Sunday the expectant mothers will be here to deliver their babies. Bertha is really looking forward to this venture.

Just imagine ..... all those little babies who are likely to be christened Petunia after your good self, growing up to adults always remembering your birthday and Christmas and Easter - all those cards and gifts you will receive. And one day when you are really old and decrepit and alone, one of these children will offer you a room in their home and take care of you.

Well - it worked for Jane Wyman, she who wore The Blue Veil.

Did you know that a scene from The Blue Veil was (many years later) used in Falcon Crest? :-)