General Chat

Good Morning dears.

It is still very dark outside and also very cold.

I can hear Cherry sleeping, well snoring, along the corridor and Trickey Woo is keeping guard outside her door.

I cannot understand it at all. George set off with Cherry late on Sunday night, after she had had breakfast, luncheon, and dinner. The hamper was duly packed with delightful goodies to take with her, and orft they jolly well went.

Less then two hours later they were back. George remarked that he had 'washed his hands of the whole business' and bundled Cherry back through the door. Well, I dont know if it was too much sugar, but she was glassy eyed and singing merrily. Something about an Old Mill By The Stream........................

Pat-rish-aaaaaah managed to strap her onto the stair-lift and got her back into the Lilac Room, and there she has been ever since. Snoring merrily.

We saw off dear Teresa's fruit, and waved her bon voyage. What a lovely gel, a real credit to her Mama. Good luck dear, you have beauty and brains, you will do well. Such merriment, streamers and a brass band. The ladies and I were very impressed.

Lesley dear, the chill east wind, you need maybe a layer of brown paper under your liberty bodice dear. Keep out the cold. Protect your kidneys dear. A pub lunch? Are you old enough to be in such establishments dear?

Dear Upsidedown Susan, how is the MOB outfit going? I would of course offer to lend you one of mine. But I know you are more up to date then I. Although the Downton effect is sweeping the world.

I am now to have a cup of tea dears, then back to bed for an hour or so. Tis only the birds and I up at this hour.

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

Hello Petunia,

I hope you enjoyed your rosy lea and managed a bit of a lie in?

I have been to toil and back and now must cook our dinner..... It is all a bit confusing isn't it. Do enjoy your breakfast.

My MOB outfit is at a standstill. I have seen a 'frock' I like in Wellington which is only about five and one half hours away from me... Amazing what one can find on the internet. My fruit and I may take a wee road trip to suss out the frock, in person :-D. I did see another I liked but my fruit said NO :-D. I still have five months and a few days to purchase my garb..

CC, oh deary me, your first husband will not be too pleased with you - will he? :-S.
You know you don't drink so what happened?. I hope you didn't have to return the hamper?. Perhaps your first husband could decamp to Motie Towers also, of course he will have to bring your cat and your yantra mat ;-).

Lesley, what does MOG stand for? I did have a guess but wasn't sure if I was correct....

The sun shone today but the days are still far too cold, there is distinct chill to the air. I was going to paint some of the new fencing this afternoon - but I didn't.. It will still be there for me tomorrow, and the day after and the day after that :-(.

My OH is not home yet. I shall have to make a monumental decision.. Will I wait for him to get home and then cook our meal, or will I cook it and put his in the fridge??? Some days I wish we lived 'normal' work hours...

Oh well, I shall away and ponder my quandary...

have a pleasant day ladies and peeps

Susan

hello Lesley, I dont mind the rain as a rule ..... as long as I am not out in it getting soaking wet. A few years ago we had one heck of a downpour and muggins here had banking to do, so I set out duly covered up against the deluge, wondering where Noah and his ark had gone. Well I got to the High Street and turned back, because there was a localised flash flood and the water was over the kerbstones, and I wasnt taking my shoes through that. When I got home, I was drenched to the skin, and a lovely pair of grey trousers was ruined by the rain. They were machine washable, but not drench-proof.

But speaking as a gardener, I welcome the rain because it means I dont have to go out watering my garden

CC.

*slithers off the bed, stands up, stretches, and yawns*

Petunia !! oh Petunia dear !! Ah there you are dear. Why am I in the Lilac Room, I thought I was in the Green Room and with no idea how I got there. George must have slipped something into the hip flask he gave me. I am sure there is a conspiracy afoot, to prevent me returning home. You want me to stay here, dont you, that is why I cannot leave. I suppose I must have made myself tooooo useful. Oh well I shall finish stitching your little linen herb and spice pouches, and resume the polishing and dusting and helping Mrs Berry in the kitchen.

shall I set the table with nibbles and drinks for your card party? I assume your quartet of friends will be round tonight. Would you like me to polish up your green eye shade for you?

What happened to the hamper from Sunday night? I'm hungry again .....

CC

hello Susan, I think MOG is "My Old Guy" or "My Old Geezer". When MFH isnt being MFH, he's a GOG .... guess what that stands for LOL ;-)

A five and a half hour drive? Goodness, couldnt you order the frock to be sent to you for Approval, on a 'Return if not satisfied' basis. Then again waiting for it to come by parcel post could take a couple of days, but a five/half hour drive? that's a lot of petrol. So - what is this wonderful frock like? Spill the beans :-D

It is the 25th anniversary since the Great Storm of 1987, and although today was dry (where I am), and the sky was blue with a few fluffy white clouds, and the sun shone brightly, it has been a very blustery day. I know this for a fact, because I was outside helping the gardener, literally being whipped by the wind. That is why my hair now looks the way it does, so I hope you will excuse my appearance.

CC

#sings# there's an old mill by the stream .... NELLIE DEEEEAAAAAAANNNNN

Tiptoes down the corridor, past the Lilac Room, and the Green Room. I am being taken over dears, the Green Room is filled to the rafter with stuff ordered from Hamazon, cd's, dvd's, books, items in brown wrappings that buzz, and various relaxation therapies. I can hear the treadle machine going, so I think dear Cherry is up and about.

I think Cherry has managed to sober up, as we have had her full repartoire of Songs from the Shows, but early this morning, we had rather dubious songs of Docker style................I was shocked. I did not know Cherry dear could sing with such gusto, especially when using such common terms!!!! Tutty tut. Nellie Dean was such a genteel song, but the version Cherry sang! That and something about a Good Ship? I shoved cotton wool in Pat-trish-aaaaah's ears, and rushed down the scullery to save poor Mrs Berry from the onslaught, and popped a couple of Chantenay Carrots into her shell-likes! I was really surprised!!!!

I think she has now consumed a great deal of water to flush out her system, and made several trips to see Mrs Berry to 'line her stomach' so all is well.

Cherry dear, let us talk man to man, dear, or woman to woman, please tell me face to face if you wish to leave and we will make the necessary arrangements, but please do not blame dear George on your misfortune. The poor man was embarrassed beyong all recognition. And he is a man of the world. Really, doing moonies out of the window of the small removal van whilst travelling around the M25. It really is too, too much!!

You are right though dear, we will be having a rubber tonight, I think that Beatrice is a bit of a card sharp. She shuffles a little too well. And amazingly she always get a good hand. Funny how she likes to use her own cards.....................

Ah dear Upsidedown Susan, we are all agog at the prospect of your MOB outfit. A pretty young thing like yourself will look lovely in anything. But dont take Cherry up on her offer of a black binliner will you. I agree, maybe you should order things on approval, wear them, and send them back. It seems to be all the rage with some people. However, I know you are a well brought up young gel, and would not dream of doing such a thing...............will it be your Summer when your dear daughter gets married? We are all sooooo excited.

Lesley dear, yes what is a MOG? Do tell.

I hope you are all keeping warm dears, tis a little cold and wet here. Ask Cherry she will tell you. Work on the Ark is still progressing nicely, and we have a half ton of pitch arriving in the morning. We also have a young man arriving who will apply it. Pat-trish-aaaaah is salivating at the prospect of him stripping to the waist, but I think it is a little cold.

I wonder what size liberty bodice will fit him?

Donning my green visor, and supervising club sandwiches.

Auntie Petunia

Oh my dears what lovely cosy cuddly day I have had :-D :-D E was entrusted to me for the whole day :-D :-D she was so good and only grizzled when hungry :-D

Know how do I put this? :-S MOG isn't a very polite term but a very true description of him indoors :-( okay he's a miserable old g-t :-0

I'm with you when it comes to gardening CC I would much rather be outside pottering and pruning as long as it's dry overhead :-) moonies on the M25 sorry you are on your own sunshine or rain :-0 :-0

GOG could that be very similar to MOG?

Please excuse my very unladylike language.
Lesley

hello Lesley, well I am totally envious, having a little bundle of joy to yourself all day long. I hope that the baby's mama appreciated the break. Of course, the advantage of grandchildren is that you can return them to their parents.

GOG is Grumpy Old G*t, LOL.

CC

Petunia dear, why on earth are you tip toeing around in your own home? I do assure you that I was not drunk. George offered me a little nip of something, from his hip flask, and I took one mouthful and then everything went black. I categorically deny I ever did Moonies. Whatever George told you I did, allegedly, is a pack of lies, allegedly. If you must blame somebody, blame George and his hip flask.

Do I wish to leave? Well Petunia dear, you made the necessary arrangements on Sunday for me to leave, and here I am back at the Towers. Not that I am complaining. Your bedrooms are amazingly comfortable and laid out with every possible essential for every possible convenience. I suspect that I am doomed .. errrr ... destined, to remain here for some time to come.

Why have you suddenly gone white dear? Have you seen a ghost? No? oh you've had a nasty shock. Who shocked you dear. Let me cheer you up with some songs .......

#On the good ship Hollyhocks, with the cabin door that never locks ........ :-D

CC

Hi Ladies,

hope you are well

I will be back in the next few days

Teresa x

Hello and goodbye dear Teresa, we shall see you soon. ~~~~~~~~~~

Lesley dear, how lovely to have a babby to cuddle. We are all jealous, unless of course she possets back her feed, then you can have her back!!!!!

Of course you were not drunk Cherry, not as drink as I funk I was! Let us just say that when we tried to get you into bed, you wanted to go 10 rounds with Sonny Liston. Tutty tut.

I got fleeced last night over the bridge game, I am sure there is something dodgy with those cards. I dont like the way Beatrice wears those funny glasses..............she does not normally wear specs, and they have a strange tint to them. Do you think we are being had?

Work is progressing well on the Ark. Our young man turned up with the pitch and a tarbrush. He duly changed into a regulation checked shirt, and began sloshing the blackstuff over the hulk of said Ark.

Do you know, I have never seen Pat-trish-aaaaah so eager to go out into the garden in the Autumn...............she was weeding, raking leaves, chopping logs.............anything just to get out and talk to the Tar Man. I must be honest he did look like a young Mr Newman, so I suppose I can see why she wanted to flirt so openly. But really, did she have to wear her slacks quite so tight, and her blouse with buttons undone? Honestly, that liberty bodice could have done with a light rinse through!

Trying to comb the brambles out of her hair
Auntie Petunia

Will one of the 125 make themselves known please?

~~~~~~~~~~~~ to Teresa, and to Lesley when she is able to put the baby down and join us :-)

I phoned my doctors surgery, to ask about my tetanus booster which was due last month. I was told its now only offered as a Triple - tetanus, diptheria, and whooping cough, all in one. I only want the tetanus booster and said so - and I was told to go private. I am lost for words.

Ah Petunia dear, there you are. I wondered where you had gotten to. What good works have you been up to today? I took a telephone message for you from the Good Father of St Jumbos. It was a trunk call.

I must say, I was quite embarrassed for Pat rish aaaaaaah. Fancy displaying so much cleavage in an autumnal garden. I must say, her biceps are coming along nicely with all that chopping and logging. She is beginning to look like an All In Wrestler. We have quite a woodpile now, did you notice? Perhaps I should go and check, in case there are any confederate soldiers hiding in the woodpile ! Or rakes in the shrubbery !

I presume the young man with the tar brush, painting the ark, is called Noah .....

Next time Beatrice is visiting you to play cards, seat her with her back to the large brass-framed mirror, and watch her hand in the reflection. Not that I like to cast aspersions, but she is double dealing when she chases those Aces. And, she always has something up her sleevies, and it isnt her armies.

Well what a day I have had, in Motie Towers. The kitchen cupboards needed cleaning, so I got up on the stepladder and wiped all the tops of the cupboards and then wiped all the cupboard shelves and replaced the crockery and glassware and tupperware boxes. I also cleaned out the medicine cabinet and disposed of all the out-of-date bottles of pills. I am mystified, however, Petunia dear, at the number of boxes of Norithisterone therein. Why you have such tablets in your medicine cabinet, I cannot conceive.

Next week, I shall tackle the food larder. Mrs Berry tells me she is stocking up with groceries over the weekend.

I have really worked up an appetite. What's for dinner?

CC

one is truly amazed. One's first husband has forwarded to one an email, from the Cooperative Bank, telling us that there is a problem with our bank account and we have 24 hours to click on a link and confirm our details and if we dont do this our account will be suspended.

He leaves all the banking up to me, the lazy ***, which is why he sent me the email to deal with the matter.

I am most reassured that the Cooperative Bank are so diligent in these matters and will look after our banking affairs and protect us from fraud. Particularly as ..... we have never ever had an account with them. :-D :-D :-D

CC

Good morning dears, no so nice again. Quite dark and miserable.

I have no idea why or whose those tablets are dear Cherry. I do not keep tablets in the medicine cabinet. As you know I am a fan of herbal remedies, and keep and arrangement of small bottles with droppers on the beside cabinet. Poiret would have a field-day!!!

They are probably Pat-trish-aaaah's. I leave it to her to sort out her own medical needs. Just as long as we have a basic first aid box and a fire extinguisher in the kitchen, I am content.

As you know I am a whizz with the Blooooooberry. I too keep getting text offering to collect PPI on my behalf. Wonderful. Even more so if I can had a loan, and paid it!!! They must be getting me mixed up with someone else.

Ah dear Cherry, what exactly did Father Thadius at St Jumbos want? I cannot be traipsing all the way over there on a fools errand? You have written it down? Fine tickety boo! I will look for it.

Ah there it is.......................................We have found a vagrant asking for you, answers to the name of Juana!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sits down with a thump, and reaches for smelling salts.
Auntie Petunia

Good afternoon one and all. Ah the wretched PPI. I get those texts, too, Petunia dear. One's first husband also gets them, and I was most discomposed to learn he has been offered in excess of £2,000. My alleged PPI refunds were not worth anywhere near that. What larks eh? because we were never mis sold loans with this "protection" in the first place.

So Juana has wandered into St Jumbos? I wonder if she met the inmate wot does elephant impressions ....... I suppose the gel is missing her Mama and GrandMama. Is blood thicker than water yet? Petunia dear?

BTW, does anyone know what the difference is between a Philharmonic orchestra and a Symphonic orchestra? They all sound the same to me, whether or not I am wearing my hearing aids, and irrespective of how high the volume is.

CC
*rockin' the rafters, yeah man

Ah Cherry!!!!!! Can you please turn down the 1812 just a tad dear? Thank you, I can hardly hear myself think!

As much as I like your recordings dear, I think I favour Nimrod played by the Berlin Philharmonic, it has a bit more ooooomph dear. I can hear the triangle even!

Yes, I received another phone call today, again from Father Thadius about That Woman! No time has not healed anything dears. She is a pariah as far as I am concerned. It will take a long time, and hell will freeze over before she steps over this threshold I am afraid.

Father T said that she has confessed all, and is taking on menial tasks around the place, and regularly scrubs out the Refectory. Once a week there is a high Mass and the Nuns come over from the Nunnery along the road. There is talk of Juana joining their order. Is it the Order of The Scarlet Trollops I wonder to myself!

I know I sound bitter dears, but for that flibberdigibit I could have been married and living the life of a refine woman of taste with an 18ct ring on her fingers. Instead I am a woman of refined taste without the 18ct ring on my finger. Tutty tut.

I shall mull the situation over dears, but I think it is unlikely to change in the near future. Blood or no blood!

I am going to watch a programme tonight where people have themselves 'Inked'. Some gentleman has the picture and song lyrics of a young gel called Smiley Wireless all over his body. It could be interesting.

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

Good evening gels.

I relented! I went to St Jumbos. I made an appointment to see Father Thadius at 10am, and duly went down in the tuk-tuk, with Pat-trish-aaaah at the helm. I did not dare to tell her why we were going there, and whilst I was inside, she went to have a nose around the shops, but that is another tale..............

Father Thadius was sitting in his office when I arrived, and explained how Juana had turned up one night, wet, cold and very dirty.

You will recall that she ran away with Patrick [my own true love] and they ended up at Gretna Green. I think you know that Patrick passed away, and Juana did a runner.

Apparently she had WALKED all the way back from Gretna Green. Walking by day, skivvying to make ends meet by day, and sleeping under bridges and in ditches by night. Father T. explained that she was in a very bad way when she turned up at their front-door and was suffering from all sorts of nasty ailments.

So...................what could I do? I indicated that I would be willing to meet her. And so I did. She did not look like the plump, vivacious trollop I last saw in Scotland. Indeed she was scrawny and the light had gone out of her eyes.....

But I am sorry, I cannot forgive her. I will pay for her keep by way of a donation to Father Thadius, but I will not have her in my house again.

I must say she does seem keen to join the Order, so we will see what we will see when she is well again.

I am sitting here in a real quandry. Dear ladies, what should I do? Your comments would be appreciated.

By the by, Cherry has been very quiet today, I wonder if she is in?

Sitting in a brown study
Auntie Petunia

Dear Ladies

Apologies for my absence :-( I have no excuse apart from I do tend to over do things at times leaving myself very tiered :-( then the old grey matter doesn't work :-S hopefully my weekend will be restful :-) so I can catch up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~To all
Lesley