General Chat

hello Teresa, you are looking and sounding much better. Are you back at work already? Alas modern life does not give us the opportunity to recuperate properly from these little and not so little ailments. For example, I think being sent back to work six weeks after a hysterectomy or appendectomy is far too soon. When aye was a gel, it was six months r&r.

Yes I too hope the cat comes home very soon. No phone call yet so I have to assume she is still missing. Mum wont sleep tonight, I know that. Cats arent just "a cat", they are one of the family.

*

Well Petunia I wondered where all you gels slipped orf to after dinner. Leaving me alone, to contend with Pat rish aaaah and her mood swings, not having any inkling what was in the wind, except for the rain out there. Then again I have often said I do not like circuses so perhaps you did me a backhanded kindness. Instead of a backhander .....

Monday night I slipped out to visit Oldest Offspring, to get my toenails cut, and we drove past a rather large Big Top by the Lea Valley Centre.

Word of warning - if a manic clown rushes up to you shouting "Hello Dave" ... do not under any circumstances go with him. He collects women and marries them.

My palms have not yet produced coconuts which is just as well as I would not wish one to fall on my head. It just produces baby palms, for which I am desperate to find homes .. with a very comprehensive Care Guide supplied by me free gratis and without strings attached - it reads something like "look after this palm or you will have me to deal with". This is the first year that the seed pods have dropped fertile seeds that developed.

May I suggest that if you want coconut water, you try a health food shop.

I have today discovered what Bilbo Baggins' favorite song is. Sung by Frank Sinatra, it is called "You're Getting To Be A Hobbit With Me".

Please make sure that your cronies see you safely home. And dont let the sawdust get between your toes ...... it has the same effect as sand - gets everywhere !

CC

ps - who did throw that lolly stick? It wasnt me - I wasnt there.

Good evening dears,

Cherry dear, I do so hope that Puss Puss has come home. All domestic animals are part of the family, and I do know I would be lost without Trickey. I know that cats are a little more independent than dogs, but any missing pets are a loss to their owners. I shall keep my fingers crossed that you say poor Puss has returned home.

The circus was a little disappointing. I remember when I was in Russian I saw a spiffing circus, but that was when it was full of trapeze artist, animals and clowns that knocked seven bells out of each other. That was before the advent of health and safety. The Liberty horses were my favourite. Those white horses dancing were a treat.

I took your advice dear and did indeed go to the Health Food Shop. What a variety of jars and containers. I managed to get a carton of coconut water, a bottle of snake oil, and a tin of volcanic vapour. The oil to ease my joints, and the vapour to ease my chestiness in the mornings.

I am orft to the Parlour now, to get ready for the Dancing Programme. Never one to not dress for the occasion, I have got Pat-trish-aaaah to lay our my Ballgown. The midnight blue shot-silk. My diamonte slippers, and I will have feathers in my hair.

In my sweet little Alice Blue gown. Waltzes around the bedroom.

Ah, I remember when I was a debutante, and I came out..........................it meant something different in those days. It meant that one was introduced to eligible batchelors. Ones with high standards and high morals.

Unfortunately, I drew a dud card..........................................poor Patrick.

Off to dress!!!!!

Auntie Petunia

Good morning ladies,

I am returned... I have had a few family members to stay for a few days. :-D. Visitors are lovely, when they leave it is pure bliss... I don't really mean that - or I think I don't :-S.

Fruit and I are away for a couple of days next week. Fruit is orf to collect 'the' ring. I suggested she should wait until home with her beau to put it on her finger. Cats chance in you know where of that happening....

Circus, I don't care for a circus, though we have seen Cirque du Something a couple of times and they were very impressive. Animal's in a circus seems to be a thing of the past... Petunia dear, I did have a vision of you flying on the high wire :-D.

CC, I hope your Mama's puddy tat has returned home?. Naughty puddy..
I was given a wakeup 'kiss' by the puppy this morning.. Luckily for her I am too change the sheets today, muddy paw prints, bah humbug..
While here, puppy did comsume one whole apple, unpeeled, stalk and all and one peeled banana ;-). There are not many, if any, foodstuffs that puppy won't eat. She has very clean teeth. Do you know , well of course you don't so I shall tell you. She nows weighs 22kg, she was a paltry 14kg when fruit got her. She still looks lean but not through hunger I can assure you.

OOh, I can hear my fencer outside, he has come to finish off the job. I had better go and supervise.

Back later,
Toodle pip
Susan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ waves to one and all, and the invisible readers who never leave a calling card ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am delighted to announce that the cat came home last night. Mama phoned very late, in fact I was already in the Land Of Slumbers, so I didnt receive the message until this morning. Mama opened the garden door after 10.30 pm to find the cat sitting on the doorstep, and not a word of explanation for her absence. She seems in fair health, apart from being very hungry suggesting she had got locked in somewhere, possibly a shed or greenhouse. All is well, that ends well.

Ah Petunia dear - speaking of Patrick. I have placed an order for a CD of the music from Downton Abbey, and one of the tracks is called ... Patrick !! when I play it loud enough to rock the rafters, I hope it does not give you sad reminisces.

One is rather surprised that, While you were paying for a tin of volcanic vapour, you didnt look for a can of London Fog as well, or a can of rainbow coloured paint. Or, striped paint. I heard your morning chestiness the other day, and thought it was the gardener trying out his latest weed beneath the window.

I do like your midnight blue shot-silk gown dear. it is a very pretty garment. It rather puts me in mind of a pair of your curtains which I havent seen for a while ...... the midnight blue shot-silk drapes that used to hang in the morning room in the North Wing of Motie Towers. Now, if it were your cousin Scarlett, she'd have turned the drapes into an outfit in no time.

An introduction to batchelors, dear? Why would anyone wish to be introduced to a packet of soup?

*

Ah the wanderer returns Susan-nz, lovely to see you. I'm pleased to hear that the puppy is doing so well and eating you out of House and Home. That is how it should be. My own cat woke me at 6 am the other morning, by banging on the base of the divan, to tell me to open the bedroom window before she used her litter tray.

Where are Teresa and Lesley today?

CC

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, aaaaah dear Aretha singing her dear little heart out.

That lovely Lisa Riley did an impressive cha-cha to it. As you know I do love to dance, and have worn the emerald green ballgown tonight.

Ah Cherry dear, I believe you are thinking of dear Carol Channing where she turned her curtains into a dress. She even had the curtain pole across her shoulders. One did titter at that.

I am so pleased the animals on here are fine. Cherrys' Mamma puddy tat has returned, and that dear Susans pup is thriving.

I too have noticed that we have viewers to our little tete-a-tetes. May I extend an invitation to join us if you so wish.

We have little rules to our social circle, but here they are.

1. You must be polite people well versed in intelligent conversation.

2. Where you live does not concern us. But mansions are put to the top of the list.

3. You must have a sense of humour.

There now, that is not too much to ask, is it?

I have been looking at trade cards today, I fancy a change of colour in the bedrooms.

As you well know we have the Lilac Room, the Primrose Room, the Blue Room and the Green Room.

I think we may change this to Coffee au Lait, Morning Skylight, Tropical Azure and Daybreak Cerise. They have a nice exotic ring to them I do declare.

I hope Teresa and Lesley are well. I do fret when my chums do not appear.

Cherry dear, I do not allow weed in my garden. Do you mean to say the gardener is not doing his job properly. Although I am reliably informed a week is a plant that is growing somewhere it shouldnt. Then again, what do I know?

Susan dear, your puppy licking you is fine. It is when you take it into your head to lick it back, that is when you are in trouble. Think of the furballs dear.

The gels are coming around tonight for a rubber dears. No doubt Beatrice will make up the four. There is something about her I am still not sure of. Even with all her money.....................time will tell, gels, time will tell.

Aha, the bell. Pat-trish-aaaaaah be a dear, dear, and open the door. And bring up the club sandwiches too dear. We must be fed while we play bridge.

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

My word Petunia dear, you are a quick change artist, from blue shot silk, to emerald green. I must say though, the spangles and sequins reflect the glow from the gaslight quite beautifully. The soft lighting is even very flattering on your wrinkles, they hardly show tonight.

I think you are going to have to drag some people in here, with the crook of your parasol, to get them to socialise. But, do be very selective dear. We dont want self opiniated riff raff taking up space on the chaise longue, all Monologues so no one else can get a word in backwards or sideways, let alone edgeways.

What about the Pink Room and the Orange Room, in the West Wing? And the Brown Room, in the South Wing. Are the colour schemes to be changed there as well? You might like to consider Tartan paint, or striped paint, or rainbow paint, to liven things up. Do be sure the decorator tests the plumb line carefully, before he uses it.

Ahem I didnt mean weeds that grow in the garden. I meant weed that ... oh never mind. Weed better not say any more about that. A rose could be considered a weed, if it is growing in the wrong place. Of course, a rose cannot be smoked.

*sigh* In my day, a rubber meant something else entirely. Pardon?? Why, we erased with it, what did you think I meant? oh, shame on you. Beatrice looks a little bit shifty at times, doesnt she. And the way she shuffles the cards. Perhaps that is how she made her money? Are you sure there is no room for me at the table? I play a mean hand of Gin Rummy or Whist, or Chase The Ace. All right dear, I will create a cocktail of lemonade and cherryade, and get some peanuts and crisps, to go with the club sandwiches. Your green eyeshade needs polishing dear, its started to get rather steamy.

Have you seen my Eric Morecambe impression with a plastic beaker ? Look ............ :-D

CC
Did you know that there are basically only three types of people in the world - those who can count, and those who can't.

Good evening ladies I trust you are all keeping well.

I am so pleased to read your Mama's cat has returned home safe and well CC :-) I assume by know it is sufficiently fed, watered and warmed,

Orf to play bridge Petunia.........that is one came I have never played........ I haven't got enough friends :-( so will just carry on playing solitaire ;-)

Like many others I have been trying to get my garden tidy in readiness for winter :-) I love nothing better than to lose myself or get lost in what seems like a wilderness :-0 the cutting of the hedge is one job I will NOT attempt our eldest partner has promised to cut it for the second time this year :-) I really should take a leave out of your book Susan having a fence to replace the hedge is very appealing to me :-)

Teresa when you are passing through MY village (does that qualify me for top of the list Dear Auntie) if you see an over sized posterior protruding from a garden you will know it's mine :-D :-D :-D

Deary me, Motie Towers will be positively psychodelic before we know it... Look out for any one called Austin ringing your door bell Petunia....
Mind , it could be the weed causing one to hallucinate?

Mercy be CC, your mama is saved anymore undue worry over her puddy tat..

Petunia, do you really think we adhere to Rule 1 :-D. I mean , I am sure we do, but perhaps our peeps disagree?
Come one come all, leave your calling card, you can be sure Petunia will suss you out toute suite ;-).

Lesley, I have a lovely new fence that I will need to paint, I have some lovely new grass seed that the ruddy birds assume is for their delight..... I must say, me fencer was a bit light on the seed he threw about my bare patches. No doubt I shall have to procure more seed and try and beat the dratted birdies at their own game... No , I wont be eating the seed. Unless of course I get muddled with the weed :-D.

I am off to the big smoke at an ungodly hour in the morn.. I shall drop in again on my return.

PS: Lesley, I am sure your posterior is not that over sized ;-). Happy gardening.

Susan - off to the land of nod

Good afternoon.

CC I had not noticed how many viewers of this thread there had been :-S since you have mentioned the fact there have been three more that are peeping in and not commenting :-| their loss ;-)

Perhaps some netting over your grass seed will help stop the birds eating your seeds Susan :-) on the other hand I have images of the puppy having great fun getting tangled in the netting :-D maybe not such a good idea :-(

I feel I must away for a lie down :-) the talk of psychedelia, weed and hallucinations has left me feeling quite lightheaded :-S

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ to Susan :-D
yes indeed the wandering cat has been the subject of much fuss and feeding and Mama is able to sleep again.

Lesley there is a cure for your feeling of lightheadedness. Never sniff, and dont inhale :-D !!

CC

Good evening dear Ladies,

You see, I told you that we have people watching us. Dear Cherry and I noticed that before when it was just plain 'Auntie Motie'. They like to see what we are up to, but do not contribute.

We did have one brought up young gel, who told us it was the funniest thing she had ever read, but then contributed no more.................

Lesley dear, I am a little alarmed at the Football coat of arms. Especially West Ham dear. I seem to remember dear little Bobby Moore playing for them, and of course the 1966 World Cup Team. My only foray into watching footie.

One knows of a gentleman and his son, who shout and cuss at the football when it is on the television. The noise is quite unbearable. They are experts too, they could tell them where they are going wrong...............

Ah visitors dear Upsidedown Susan. Like fish, they stink after three days. Titters. I always make sure my visitors know when to go home. I get Pat-trish-aaaaah to start sweeping up vigorously. The dust goes up, makes them sneeze and cough, and they take their leave.

Cherry dear, I liked your jokes about the paint dear. Technicolour indeed. You will be telling me I have put it on upsidedown soon. Tutty tut.

Lightheadedness, needs one head thrust between their knees dear. And dont inhale. Was that not the motto of one American politician?

One last thing before I toodle off to dinner gels, yes dear Upsidedown Susan, we ARE well brought up young gels, who are polite and gracious, and have terrific social skills and intelligent conversations.

And if you beg to differ again................I shall biff you on the boko!!!!!!!

Smiling sweetly
Auntie Petunia

I heard what you said, Petunia dear, about how to make visitors go home, and am quite alarmed. Were all those dust bunny disturbances meant for me? Is this your way of telling me I have overstayed my welcome? I surely cannot understand why that might be so. My can of Sparkle, and my duster, have whizzed through Motie Towers on several occasions so everything shines like a new pin, which eases the burden on Pat rish aaaaah, not that the gel is ever grateful. I help Mrs Berry in the kitchen, most assiduously. I replace the toilet rolls, when necessary. I turn the lights out, when a room is empty. I stay behind when you and your cronies go off on your cruises and various jaunts in which I am not included. I run to and fro with refreshments when you entertain your cronies for afternoon tea or card games although I am never invited to participate. I thought I had made myself indispensible, and most useful to the point of being a piece of furniture.

Ah well, I suppose it is time for me to start packing my meagre possessions and return home. *smiles brightly* I know, I shall make a detour to visit with dear Teresa en route, she will be glad to see me for a few months ....... in fact, she will wonder how she ever managed without me

*sniffing sadly*
CC

Sits Cherry down, without straps, and gives her a cup of herbal tea.

Now dear, did I say anything about you? No, I didnt think I did. Please dear, do stop crying, it is upsetting Trickey Woo. She is a sensitive soul, and will start peeing all over the carpet if she is upset. No, of course I did not mean you, I meant the others. As you know I have the Womens Guild around once a month, and some of them are really nosey. Have you not noticed how Mrs Warburton manages to always ask to excuse herself, and disappears for about 15 minutes. I have had to have locks put on all the doors. I am not saying that she has sticky fingers, but the last time she went on a 'comfort mission' the Spode teapot out of the display cabinet went walkies.

No, really dear, I could not possibly let you go and decamp to Teresa, I would not inflict that on the poor dear. She has work to go to, and your nocturnal wanderings and the playing of music at all hours of the day and night would not be conducive to her work patterns.

Yes dear, of course I am more than happy for you to stay a little longer. No, the odd breakage is acceptable, it is all insured. Yes, Mrs Berry is always happy for a little help with the cooking..............and the eating. And of course you have taken Pat-trish-aaaah under your wing.

Now..............come on dear..............dry your pretty eyes, and blow your nose.

Thats it, all better. Tea and bikkies dear?

Potters off to get Pat-trish-aaaaah to make tea
Auntie Petunia

Dear Auntie Petunia I changed my avatar to my beloved football teams coat of arms last evening whilst having a jest with a North London football club supporter :-| new avatar is a modern sculpture of Boudica/Boadicea :-)

CC dear to much information :-D :-D

Hallo one and all, I thought I recognised old Boudicca Lesley :-D
Now where is it located? I cannot remember if I drive by it or not :-S :-S :-S :-S

I am sorry I have been away for a while. FTE departs next Monday to the seven seas and it has been frantic of late to say the least. She has hithered
to a beat combo this evening called The Midnight Beasts. Don't doodl Auntie for you may be a little shocked but also amused :-D

I'm glad the cat has returned Cherry dear, tis a worry when they disappear off hunting and courting etc :-D

Hallo Susan, hope all is well in your patch :-D

Will pop in once normality returns, talking of circus Auntie and Lady's, if you get the chance there is a wonderful book called The Night Circus by the Author who wrote the time trailers wife.

Oh by the way, did I spy Auntie in the Paradise the other evening buying all manner of hats and smalls :-D


Teresa

*sniff, sob, gulp*
Oh Petunia dear, how very kind of you not to strap me in the chair. Oh yes indeed, I would not wish to agitate poor little Tricki Woo. The cup of herbal tea has done the trick, I dont know what herb it is ... but my head sure is buzzing now, man. And the wallpaper is looking really bright, all of a sudden, man. Thank you, man.

*blows nose and decimates a box of paper handkerchiefs*

Well - I had noticed the activities of the Womens Guild. That is why I have to keep replacing the toilet roll. So many Comfort visits. I didnt like to cast aspersions but I was sure your visitors take the toilet paper home with them in their handbags. Unused, of course. They must like the little puppies imprinted all over each little sheet.

I shall take myself off to the kitchen, and assist Mrs Berry with tonights dinner. I've worked up quite an appetite all of a sudden.

Errr - you arent trying to manipulate me, I trust?
*unpacks portmanteaux, trunks, cases, and hat boxes*.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ waves to Teresa, and to Lesley, sans information ;-)
CC
*silently praying that Petunia never finds out it was me who dropped the Spode teapot, and not the lightfingered Mrs Warburton.

Teresa, I read The Time Travellers Wife, and was totally disgusted with the novel, which I passed on to my daughter as she enjoys such salacious writings. However, the movie version of TTW was really nice (nicer than the book) and I have that on DVD.

CC

Gooood evening dears,

How are we today. Pat-trish-aaaaah has been working like billy-o on the Ark. It has been pouring today. My normally straight hair has a definite kink to it tonight!

Those nails in her mouth must be good for her, all that iron, because she is starting to get muscles to rival Popeye.

Boudica dear Lesley. In North London, there is what used to be Battlebridge, which is now Kings Cross. Tis said that Boudica was killed and buried there. With all the excavations on the new line out of St Pancras and King Cross nothing has been found. But there are wonderous lights now flashing around the place. There is one that looks like a birdcage fit for Tweety Pie, and it flashes different colours on different days! I believe it is called Art, Sweetie.

The Paradise dear Teresa, I am not sure if I like it on not, on the television. It is a little stilted I think. And I cannot see that nice Miss Lancashire, without thinking of her as Racquel in Corrie. She still has her dimple in her chin I see. Did they have dimples in Victorian Times? Would that not have been considered an inperfection? I find it quite charming, but then again, what do I know?

Cherry dear, I am soooo pleased you have calmed down dear. I was considering slapping you around the face with a wet fish, but I desisted. Please do join us on our next WI Meeting. They will show you things to do with a Jam Jar (new of course, not recycled as in accordance with EU Rulings] that you never thought possible.

You can keep an eye on Mrs Warburton and her itchy fingers. She is not short of a bit of dough, so I think pinching stuff that is not hers, is an illness.

Can anyone explain the workings of Eastenders to me dears? I think the plot is now so convaluted, it defies all reason. I shall not watch it soon dears, it is so depressing. All this palarvar with Kat and her mobile. Who is she phoning? Is she slipping from the straight and narrow? Who cares?

I saw in my local freebie newspaper that there is to be a Ghost Walk on Halloween on Hampstead Heath. There was great interest last year, the initial one, and some people were so frightened they had to return to the local Hostelry to fortify themselves for the rest of the journey!!!!

Are you feeling a little chilly in Motie Towers dears? Mrs Berry please stoke the Aga before you go. Pat-trish-aaaaah put the wood in the hole dear and close all the doors. Cherry dear..................do you think someone else could manage to get somewhere near the fire? Thank you dear, toasted shins are not attractive dear!

Tutting and Flapping
Auntie Petunia

Teresa dear.

Please give my very best wishes to your little girl when she sails the Seven Seas.

Now, I am a woman of the world, and there is not much I have not seen...................lets Doodle said popular beat combo.

Oooooh, I say!! Well I never!! Is that really?


Faints.

Good Evening Ladies.

Oh dear I hate to admit that I am in dire need of a manicure :-0 all this gardening has played havoc with my soft as silk hands :-( so I am going to treat myself tomorrow :-)

This afternoon whilst bringing in the geraniums for the winter I thought of you Susan :-) getting your garden ready for the summer, I know what I would prefer to be doing :-)

The Midnight Beasts :-0 quick Teresa pass Auntie the smelling salts :-D The only statute of Boudica in Colchester that I know of is at North Station by those lovely roundabouts :-S

CC how is you mama's cat today?