General Chat

Good evening ladies, how are we tonight?

Do you know the sea is as smooth as it possibly can be. If this Ship was of a lower quality, all we would hear would be the chug chug chug of the engine. But as this is a better quality Ship, we can hear nothing.

I must say the seagulls are of monster proportions here. One hopes that there will be no little packages left around and about.

Georgianna has been quiet since the Mal de Mer incident. She has been taking her tablets and seems quite well. No more of the biting tongue palarvar. She has enlisted me to join her on an Olde Tyme Dancing Night tonight. Now, as you know I am an excellent dancer, and do not want to show her up. I shall place a couple of coins in my dancing shoes, so I am not quite as agile on my feet. How compassionate I am! She says that the notice board says there will probably be an absence of men to dance with.................Never mind, I am used to pushing forwards, instead of being led backwards.

I dont mind saying that poor Georgianna is somewhat lacking in affection. Although her gentleman husband is a lovely kind man, he is not what you would call romantic. His idea of a Birthday Present is a new set of pots and pans! I did suggest to him one year that he might like to buy Georgianna a bottle of perfume. He humphed and blowed, and then said that a bar of carbolic was good enough for his Mother, so it would be good enough for Georgianna. I think it took him by surprise when I kicked him in the shins!

Cherry dear, I do hope that you are not straining yourself at the Garden Centre. Are you planting new flowers outside Motie Towers? Remember we have a gardener, and it is his job to call a spade a spade.

Apparently we have another 3 days at sea, imagine, going from one ocean to another, I wonder if we have to show our passports at the demarkation line?

Right ho. Georgianna has changed and is a vision in Eau de Nil, while I on the other hand, am in Mediterrean Blue.

Doing the Light Fantastic
Auntie Petunia

Petunia,

I hope your sensibilities are restored? You did dare me dear :-D.

CC, I can't be doing with Vegemite, we are defo a Marmite house. My fruit has it so thick on her bread, I like a wee smear so my mouth doesn't take offence at the taste.

My fruit used to live in a hostel (while at uni) with international students. The fun she had introducing the unsuspecting to 'chocolate spread'.. Not too many actually liked the taste.
Marmite is as kiwi as tomato sauce on a pie,pineapple lumps, jaffas, mayonnaise on hot chips and going barefoot in summer :-D.

Oooh , I was having a wee trip down memory lane.

I am orf over the hill today to return sons car and visit the parents. Can't be too late back as the puppy will need a walk :-).

Have a lovely weekend,

Susan

Auntie Petunia I've never heard of giving babes gin for the din but have heard of whiskey for the grizzly.:-D I am so pleased you appear to have got over your earlier shock, enjoy the dancing :-)

Teresa garlic ice cream and marmite chocolate nooooooooo :-( all three separately yesssssssss :-) Squeezy marmite I'll have to look out for that.

Maybe CC Harry was aloud to keep his hat on. ;-)

Ooer what am I letting myself in for with a naughty email about a certain athlete from another country :-0 I wonder who that could be ;-) Thank you Susan PM sent.

how kind of dear Petunia to be concerned about me straining myself, but as I explained to her, the gardener is doing all the donkey work, in his donkey jacket, while I stand there and supervise, and occasionally take him a cup of coffee out of the goodness of my heart. Well, the coffee really comes from Petunia's percolator, but I do have a very good heart.

Ah yes, calling a spade a spade. I once cornered the Village Idiot, and took him into a garden centre with a display of garden rakes and hoes, and garden forks and shovels, and I told him to take his pick.

I must remember to tell Petunia that if she docks at Glasgow, she will need a Scottish passport. I am the proud possessor of two, and also a Scottish £5 note which ironically I was given South Of The Border. And whilst in Edinburgh I was given English £5 notes in with my change.

--o0o--


~~~~~~~~~~~~ to Susan I'm not overkeen on Marmite, although when my Offspring were little I used to feed them with Marmite fingers, and would take a finger for myself. They liked Marmite in those days. I never buy it now. I have a feeling that Vegemite can be bought in the UK.

--o0o--


~~~~~~~~~~~~ to Lesley. Hmmmmm, one wonders where Harry would actually place his hat, in that event. I remember the 1970s streaker and the policeman's helmet :-D That photograph of the streaker, and the photo of Erica Roe baring her soul, both now appear on greetings cards, the blank ones where you write your own message inside.

CC

Susan :-D :-D Nice shoe's ;-) ;-)

Good evening Ladies,

Dancing again tonight! Georgianna talked me into it last night, and I goaded her into it tonight, what fun we shall have....................

I am sorry dears, I know you will chastise me, but we did have a lovely time last night.

The ballroom has a proper sprung floor, and it made even someone like Georgianna, who I am sorry to say, is a fairy elephant, look good.

Never the wallflower, I whisked dear Georgianna into the ballroom, and we made a delightful entrance coming down the stairs. Chin up dear, I told her, let no one know that you do not have grace and elegance.

Once on the floor, we began to dance with each other. I suddenly thought of that Joyce Grenfell song, As Stately As Two Galleons, but never mind, I thought it makes no difference if we are dancing boooosum to boooosum.

We had barely got to the end of the dance tune by the beat combo, when two rather distinguished looking men came over. Made their excuse me's and led us into a walz. I could see that poor Georgianna was a bit flustered, but neverthless I glided around the room effortlessly.

At the end of the dance I thanked the gentleman, and made to go. But no, both gentlemen held onto us for another dance. Being properly brought up, I could not immediately agree, and as we had been given Dance Cards, I promised to book him another dance later in the evening.

As I said, poor Georgianna has little affection in her life, and was extremely flattered by all the attention. I took her aside, and warned her on the perils of Shipboard Romances.

I have to say all four of us danced the night away. The gentleman formally introduced themselves and gave us their cards. Onassis Enterprises was engraved on the beautiful cream edged cards. Surely not?

At the stroke of mid-night, we made our excuses to leave. We were dutifully escorted back to our suite, and strolled along the deck. Georgianna and Nickos were deep in conversation. Stavos bid me tonight and gallantly kissed my hand. Suddenly, Georgianna realised she had left her gloves behind, and went to get them.

I let myself into the suite, undressed and got into bed, and fell into a deep, deept sleep.

Morning broke, and I looked over to Georgianna, her bed had not been slept in! Where is she? Oh dear, do you think? What shall I say to her dear gentleman husband?

After breakfast she breezed in, and told me she had something to tell me, something that would change her destiny. All would be revealed at the Dance tonight..................oh dear, I have a sinking feeling..............

Cherry dear, any news on Ruby and Smarmie?

Lesley dear, I see you have seen the photograph..............quite erm..............unique is it not?

Feeling trepidation
Auntie Petunia

Good Evening Ladies

CC I'm sure Harry would have his hat on his head ;-) I can remember seeing the two streakers, one with a helmet ;-) and one without, but I can't say that I have seen the greetings cards.

Today I have been hunting for an outfit to wear to my dear friends wedding which is at the end of September, did I find what I liked. Yes I did but it would mean me loosing about 1/2 stone so it looked right :-(

Auntie Petunia I think you might approve of the little dress I have chosen (the dress is little not that I am) it is made in a very delicate lace and fully lined of course, it is very Kate Princess of Cambridge. I kid myself :-)

Lesley

Ooooooh dear, Georgianna has let me into her secret.........

She is to go into partnership with Nickos, they are excavating a sapphire mine at the bottom of the Indian Ocean.................



There may be trouble ahead......................

Lesley, your outfit sounds lovely. Remember toning shoes and handbag. Heels not too high, there will be a lot of standing around. Bad shoes mean grimacing in photographs. And a hat that shows your pretty face!

Thats my advice for the morning, back to talk Georgianna out of investing all her nest egg. Mr Georgianna will not be pleased.

Trying to muster tact
Auntie Petunia

dear Petunia, so attentive to everything and phoning every half hour or so to check all is well here at Motie Towers.

All I know about Ruby and Smarmy is that they sent a telegram saying they would arrive Monday evening. I assumed this was last Monday, and it being Bank Holiday Monday dear Mrs Berry had gone home for the day but left a feast in the kichen. However, there was no sign of either Ruby or her husband, which leaves me wondering ..... which Monday did they mean. Perhaps they meant tomorrow. The food did not go to waste. It kept me going all through the night. :-D

As for Mr Onassis and Mr Onassis, well, words fail me. Petunia is so easily led where gentlemen are concerned, only to slip on a banana skin later. And this time, I am not there in person to pick her up. Georgianna is away with the fairies again, if she thinks one of these gents will change her future life for the better. Dear Petunia's sinking feeling was spot on - a sapphire mine at the bottom of the ocean. How much of Mister Georgianna's fortune will be sunk into that venture. Still it makes a change from receiving an email from Olga from the Volga, promising a half share in a diamond mine plus an offer of marriage, just for opening my bank account.

CC

hello Lesley, I can tell you how to lose weight fast. Take aspirin for six weeks under hospital instruction because the doctors wont listen to you saying it doesnt agree with you, then stop taking it ..... and wait for the side effects to kick in. Its possible to drop a stone in five days, using this method.

Your dress sounds lovely, what colour is it? I am sure you will look as lovely as Catherine of Cambridge always does. I dont know how she manages to keep smiling, surely her cheek muscles must start to ache.

CC

Walking in stamping my feet and shouting I WANT the silver grey lace dress to fit me :-| how far am I prepared to go to lose weight taking aspirin or anything else that doesn't agree with me, no I don't think so (sorry to hear about your experience CC) starvation yes :-D

Oh the dress is so perfect, dusky pink hat and bag could be bought from the same shop as the lace dress I WANT shoes I haven't looked for, Auntie Petunia do you think I could wear my slippers they are very comfortable and wouldn't cause a facial grimace or a fixed smile that will make my cheek muscles ache, the photographs would be perfect if my feet weren't in view ;-)

hello Lesley it wasnt the Old Windmill in South Hanningfield, it was the Windmill Tavern in East Hanningfield, I just checked the business card I was given.

I've just been on the EssexRestaurants site, to see a mixed bag of Reviews about the Tavern. Most of the diners said the food was lovely, but one person said they had to wait so long for the food when they asked "how much longer" they got a rude response and told not to return - they said. Hmmmm .....

I have to admit, we waited nearly half an hour for our sandwiches, but the pub was busy and I allowed for that. There was only one person at the bar, and probably only one chef on duty, it being mid afternoon and not peak dining time.

I didnt leave a review ..... they wanted my email address and other details.

CC

Aaaaaaah Lesley you can want the dress to fit you, as much as you like. Dont the shop sell "the next size up"????? or couldnt they order it? Or alter the dress thats in stock ??? But the dress sounds an absolute dream, and would look lovely teamed with dusky pink accessories.

Alternatively you could ask dear Petunia to lend you one of her corsets and get Pat rish aaaah to tighten up the laces until you have a wasp waist and can barely breathe ..... no thats not a good idea either. Smelling salts smell awful.

As for shoes, as Catherine of Cambridge is very much an Icon now, you could ask her to lend you a pair of her Nude shoes, she has several pairs I believe. Such footwear can be teamed with absolutely anything. And she has been buying jewellery from a little UK firm called Heavenly Necklaces, with the result that the company ran out of stock because the world and his wife placed orders as soon as Catherine was spotted wearing a pair of ear rings from Heavenly Necklaces. They are still restocking - its a family firm and apparently they are working round the clock to make new things.

Those ear rings were lovely ... ! and looked a lot more expensive than they really were.

How is little Emilie doing now?

CC

Do you know I feel like Alice in Wonderland when she grew, shed tears, then got tiny again. I am awash in tears!

Good evening ladies. I am mopping up tears as I speak. Poor Georgianna has been 'had', hook, line and stinker! What a cad!

As you know dear Georgianna is starved of affection, and anyone who smiles at her get the 'come on'. Deary, deary me. What am I to do with her?

We will be docking at Turkey in a couple of days, and the Brothers Grimm will depart there. Thank goodness. I am sorely tempted to lock her in the suite until then. Thank Heaven all her cheques need double signatures, so the family fortune is safe for a while longer.

I must say since this debarcle, we have hardly seen Beatrice and Octavia. But they are keen Bridge fans, and have been having a rubber or two in the afternoons, and a few more in the evenings. I believe they are playing for matchsticks, so no chance their their finances going down the Swannee.

George, Francine and dear little Valentine are also keeping their own company. They push the little darling around the decks, and everyone is so enamoured of him, the stroll around the deck takes forever.

Lesley dear, let me tell you a cautionary tale. I know of a young gel who was getting married, and had the misfortune to have her sister and her sister in law to be, as bridesmaids. Both maids were particularly awkward in the first place, and insisted that the dresses be bought in a size smaller than was wearable, as they both were going to slim to fit into them. Needless to say, said bride was running around the West End on the Thursday night, trying to find bridesmaids dresses in the original sizes, as the two dratted gels had not lost any weight at all!

How is your dear little one by the way? And no..........slippers are not an option!

Cherry dear, I am at a loss as to the whereabouts of Ruby and Marmie. Perhaps they are bypassing Motie Towers altogether, and heading straight to Cheltenham. I do hope so, she is a pain at the best of times!

Ah dinner time again, I shall indeed help with my stays at this rate, I am eating enought to sink a battleship!

Toodle Pip
Auntie Petunia

Morning all,

Shoes Lesley ? I hadn't noticed the shoes :-D....

Ooh dear, aint it pain being a gal at times. Trying to get the look right sometimes means comfort plays second fiddle... I saw a photo of myself recently, was wearing my new frock, oh dear... I shall blame the photographer and next time I see him, I will kill him :-\.
I hope you find what you are looking for Lesley.. and no, slippers are not an option dear.

Tis Monday morning again, it is raining - again.... Had fun with the puppy until yesterday when she was obviously very unwell. Oh dear, I was all for ringing the 24hr vet.. Poopr pup had both ends going and wasn't the slightest bit interested in any food. That is a sure sign she was unwell - she rallied in the afternoon before her master and mistress returned...

Petunia, what a to do.. So much for a restful little holiday for you. Perhaps a slap around the chops for Georgianna ? No ?. I do wonder at your choice of 'friends' dear. Do you ?

I am orf to buy a bottle of Gin :-), not for me, for a friend's birthday gift. I can't think of anything else :-(. There are no babies at his house;-)

Toodle
Susan

Oh what a relief to hear that Georgianna's finances are safe, and that the Bros Onassiss are departing the ship. Playboys cause nothing but trouble, and I dont mean the magazine. Hmmphh.

I have often thought of assisting Paris Hylton with her finances. She has all the money in the world. I have all the financial budgetary sense. And I wouldnt charge as much as professionally trained accountants either :-D

Many moons ago when I was a young and trusting penpaller, I once received a friendship book on which was written the name and address of a Turkish gentleman, who said he collected and swapped stamps. I wrote to him about the stamps, and received a doozy of a reply on which I dined out for months, my dears. All I will say is, this Bey got the silent reply. I do hope that Petunia and her pals stay clear of the Beys, they can be treacherous!! ;-)

Bridge and rubbers ....... when I was a gel, a rubber was something I used to erase wrong answers written in pencil.

*praying that Ruby and Smarmie are driving around Spaghetti Junction*

CC

Hello Susan what happened to the puppy? Its not anything to do with the eye? I hope all is well now.

Are you going to help your friend drink the bottle of gin? There is a funny series of adverts being shown on UK TV at the moment, with Emilia Fox and Philip Glenister, where they are at a posh gathering listening to some chinless wonder talk pretentious burble, and Glenister comes out with a very inappropriate remark which causes silence to fall very loudly. The adverts are for a brand of gin, I hasten to add.

CC

Oooooooh Cherry where is is the Gentleman walker Mr Glenister. The televsion has not ben the same since Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes has gorn. Is he like Mr Gene Hunt in the advert :0)

We have been spring cleaning today, yes Ladies I know its not yet spring but I started to muck outr FTYs room and then FTE is having a massive sort out and charity bag is on the go. I have snaffled a couple of nice bags that were in the pile :0)

Orff now like a lady wot does


Teresa

Yawns................................is it morning again already?

Keeping Georgianna confined to barracks is a little tedious.

One can only play I Spy a certain amount of times.

Now............I spy with my little eye..........something beginning with.................S.



Ho hum!
Auntie Petunia

Hi Teresa, yes indeed, the "character" of the man in the gin advert is very much like Mr Gene Hunt. I think Philip Glenister has typecast himself, although I remember one of his very early outings in a Sharp story, where he was cast as Sharp's half-brother. Wot got shot.

He has an older brother Robert, who is not so typecast.

I was amused to see that Nicola Walker, actress ex Spooks, had two outings last night, at 9 pm, on both BBC and ITV.

Why wait until Spring for a spring clean, indeed. When I was younger and fitter, I used to have a clean out every three months, then it became every four months. Not only was the house clean to Kim and Aggie's standards, but I used to find things I'd forgotten I had. Now ... I can longer do this work, and have no idea what I may or may not own. Oh for a versatile 10 year old scullery maid who can wield a duster.

CC