General Chat

his nether regions,this won't hurt said the big nurse,then our Hero promptly passed out,in his dream like state he saw coming towards him a figure dressed in a long white robe and asked are you

Your Local Hostery where you can relax with that Big Birtha,She was,nt too bad after all considering what he,d escaped from ,so with a great shout he jumped on her, bounced back,whacked his head on the table and passed out and came to in the outpatients wondering where he was or from whence he came,they thought he had lost his memory but no, it was all a crafty way to chat up the nurses,but it backfired on him this great big male nurse come brandishing an extremely large syringe and pointed to

when the 52 bus appeared :-) [well he had been on it before] climb aboard said the conductor and \i will take you to

just pondering on the next move to free him of his troubles when

time to gather myself together and think of a plan to get out of the clutches of Big Berth ,who was slowly getting very drunk indeed,Eldrick was

Uncomfortable who was that messing with his tatties? then he shouted .leave my onions alone .i could do with some

there and back again. Our Hero has been slipped a little medicinal tot in his tea and was feeling very

Make you a very happy man she was smiling from ear to

the nearest pub, I need a drink said Big Bertha, "a nice cup of tea and cucumber sandwiches " yelled our Hero.

No she replied I nee a pint of ale or two to keep up my strength to

she set about all of them and slung Eldrick over her shoulder and carried him to

Big Bertha

Er whats she doing 'er came the cry. With that

Oy mate thats yer long lost mommy,and I,m your Dad so on your bike and get back from whence you came ,we thought we,d got rid of you years ago how did you find us again? as he started to explain there was a great rumbling and groaning from outside, Oh no they shouted its

he was enjoying a bit of rumpty pumpty until some one appeared in the door way and said

as she lumbered towards him ,help came from an unsuspected quarter,it was Nelly Dean ( she of the mill by the stream) she was a bit wet and bedraggled but she threw a bucket of water over Faggot Faced Fanny to cool her ardour ( that put the mockers on it as she had,nt washed for years) and stank like a polecat. Nelly shouted ,He,s mine and dragged him away to her Mill where she held him close to her ample bossom and the next thing was

Gather his neeps tatties and onions in,and

any sanctuary,he tried to get away but suddenly a great cloud enveloped him, it was her, smoking the biggest pipe he,d ever seen( or was it steam coming out of her nostrils ) in her great passion to get her hands on him,they were great big ones large enough to

four poster bed,Omg thought our hero Ive jumped out of the frying pan into the fire and now I'm miles away from

Blonde Bird? Heh Heh Heh, went the old geezer,that was just a`ploy to get some one here to farm for me and Faggot Faced Fanny ,she,s looking for some bloke to marry and share her

a very rich man , bye the way where's the beautiful

A grumpy looking old man opened the door can i help you ken .Eye i have come aboot a job .i am expert grower of neeps .just show me your field i will make you