General Chat

they've all been at the woad....... every single one of them has blue stripes on their faces (and they're not Rangers supporters)......... Shrieking madly, they ran after Elderick, who was shrieking even louder.......... and as he ran into the woods he saw a caravan...............

felt a resurgence of energy and he almost fell into the barn on to a pile of hay - but wait - he is not alone!!! who else is in the barn, could it be

could book in for B&B so

However Big Bertha and her ladies were starting to flag so his confidence started to return and he......

he would reach the old barn intact.

But he knew that if he stayed true to what he believed in then......

as he sped at top speed he realised his tay berries were taking a battering......

firmly held beliefs that there was no God and therefore 'Jerusalem' was 'just a good tune' and not reliable proof of a higher being ever having walked upon England's mountains green.

she would attack his

...however he carried on because Big Bertha was gaining ground and he was afraid that.....

great damage to the haggis growing there...

as fast as his ickle legs could carry him, but his sporran was bouncing up and down with every step he took and progress was difficult - the only way to dispose of it was to discard his kilt too as they were attached, so this he did with great aplomb and now, just wearing his tam o shanter he sped through the gorse causing

kilt and Tam-o-shanter.

"Bravehheart" screeched the leading WI lady as she appeared over the brow of the hill.

Eldrick began to run.....

he realised that in all the kerfuffle half his clothes were missing and now he stood there dressed just in a

....the Champions, we are the Champions." However before they got to him he......

so he ran off to see Big Bertha, the president of the Women's Institute. She's always had a soft spot for him, so he knew she would help. She contacted all the ladies in the WI, so soon there were thirty WI ladies running to his rescue, all chanting.............. "We are........

the Cumbrian county curling and country dance committee, who had plagued his life for many years in their quest to convince him of the health giving properties of the spring water which flowed through his estate and their constant requests for the bottling rights as a side line to their blackpudding and leek pie production company ....

...Thursday night. Of course he knew straight away that he was dealing with.....

the Highlanders.........."who's for a game'o bowls" cried...

something whacked him hard on the side of his head, it was a low flying ufo, or at least that's what it would have been had he not recognised it instantly ( through the pain) as a vintage curling stone of the type favoured by....