General Chat

The Loch Ness Monster so is he nearly

Oh no.. its not the land , he shudders & sreams its

penetrated them and caused further damage - on second thoughts he decided they'd be OK given time and went up on deck to see if he could fathom out where they were - he could see land in the distance, could it be

once again inspected his onions & wondered if the sea water had

eh :-S :-S

gret interpersonal skills at solving peoples' problems - mostly people with tatoos and no teeth, but all Eldrick could think of was what a couple o days it had been - he'd been all over the continent, his neeps and tatties were in poor condition - would they ever recover? would he reach dear old Blighty and make it back to the ancestral pile - would his father - the erstwhile priest at the monastery still be there - would Big Bertha still be after him and would dear old Grannie still be waiting for him? as he pondered these imponderables he

I know I'll use my onions water wings then I can

Or jump aboard that boat, so he did and sailed off into the sunset singing "Red Sails In The Sunset" but following behind on a surfboard was :-S a giant Orca in the shape of

was a large lake and no bridge what can I do now he screamed,can I steer round

Eldrick did his best to ignore them and carried on pedalling in spite of his extreme distress and pain - his onions were swinging all over the place and this was slowing his progress - however, he came to the brow of a hill and could freewheel down, but at the bottom

sprouting eyes, and looking right at him!

STOP STARING AT ME! He screamed.

His screaming caught the attention of the patrons in the pub........ who all fell about laughing at the sight of this crazy man on a bike with big neeps and staring tatties, who could hardly see where he was going for big red flags (or were they knickers?)

Hey YOU! they yelled.......... you look like you need help (and a drink)....

and this was when he realised to his horror that he not only had problems with his neeps, but now his tatties were

I am so confused .was minding my own business were has that red flag come from on my handle bars? cant see a B~~~~~y thing omg why is that big wench chasing me .not a pretty sight cant peddle any faster .neeps & onions swinging about .help

As these various sights, sounds and actions sped through his schizophrenic mind he tjought of

All who were whatching Fainted , its all to much

wearing?

PC Plod took offence at this remark (he also took a gate, but that's another story) and fumbling in his satin dress he finally pulled out his truncheon.

Waving his truncheon in the air, he shouted

(the maiden had quickly put her knickers back on as she saw the uniformed gent approaching but had unfortunately tucked her skirt into them)

Eldrick peddled away quickly whilst the officer was busy ogling the maidens shapely legs & those red bloomers.

As he peddled he tried to make sense of what had happened since he last saw her. He HAD got a blue blood, his father was a priest & just where were Fag Ash Lil & her friends?

looks like a lady in red knickers officer what areyou

Ello Ello what have we here

all hell broke loose , then Mr Plod the policeman came along & said

glimpsed the red bloomers of the lady in the grass

"Pffwwawwwww!" He said to himself... "she's a bit of alright.... might go chat her up'

The lady in the grass fluttered her eyelashes and her red bloomers and