General Chat

So he headed for Edinburgh, to the Museum, where there's a display of Irn Bru (selected by none other than Sean Connnery - true)

:-S :-S :-S

taken more notice of his horoscope.

He remembered the last morning he had spent at home, drinking hot coffee and reading the newspaper... Madame Zalonga's prediction had said "you will travel and meet new people........" but there was something else ... scratching his wet head, Eldrick tried to think............... AHA! There was also mention of discovering something which had been hidden...........

I wish my family had given me some hints.......

Grandad used to............ AHA!

Grandad was strange for an Englishman, he drank IRN BRU!!

Still heading north, soaking wet, Eldrick wondered where Irn Bru was made.........

This was not the weather for hitch-hiking,but he plodded on through rain and wind wishing he had

put in the hard yards. On his way he passed a ten pin bowling alley and he realised that life wasn't all beer and skittles.

But the siren song of Scotland still sung in his ears, as did the trumpet voluntary: he hadn't noticed until that moment that he was using an ear trumpet.

Once more he turned north, using a bottle of John Smith's Magnet pale ale as a compass, and manfully strode on

Barrels from John Smiths,and you can get it by the yard if you are prepared to

Liquidised food , it comes in

Teeth I can get by with

although I will have lost my

A couple of Withered Neeps,but a thought came?? maybe I should exploit my problems and emigrate to Egypt where I can get a decent job as a Eunock in a Harem, with all the tips that will come I should be able to return home in style with lots of lolly and a new set of neeps and prestige of being

after all. somehow he had got back into England without a passport. In fact when he felt into his pockets the only thing he did have in them was

go and wash me mouth out,while doing so he had a great idea,why not go to the D H S and sign on for job seekers allowance others do it went dropped by a lorry so then he could

Oh gawd !! that was painful will have to

to either help me or start walking.

At that moment there was a terrible rumbling......... and Eldrick realised he had not eaten for three days!

Nothing to hand but onions, neeps & spuds. So he sank his teeth into an onion!

Blinded by tears, Eldrick said to the driver

the driver said . Sorry mate I have a puncture you will have

poor bruised neeps, his chafed thighs and tattered tatties into the cab and sank back in the set with a huge sigh of relief - "I'm on my way home at long long last" he thought and then

Going his way he lifted his

then he pulled himself together and began to try and think rationally - after all, he knew which way Scotland was - perhaps one of the many lorries coming off the ferry was going North, so he had a scout around and found one which was

well on his way to winning the national lottery/and or the bingo and

his instincts but once he gets back to Bonnie Scotland he should be