General Chat

About 400 miles lad ,thees going in wrong direction. with that disappointment he wandered along till he came to a priory,and after much thought decided to have a look what was inside,went in and chatted to some monks,which was odd because it was a silent order,they looked at his poor neeps and told him he could rest awhile there till his neeps and onions had repaired themselves or dropped off,so the fed him and gave him somewhere to rest his body whilst plotting to make him a fully fledged monk.but they warned him against any hanky panky with their housekeeper she was rather large and there in penitence for misbehaving with her intended and he had done a runner, imagine the shock and horror when he saw her and realised that she was

far and wide for a long long time gasped Eldrick - I'm mking my way home to Scoltand but some dreadful things have occurred on my journey - too many to talk about - any idea how far Scotland is?

"Ey up then, Lad. Hast thee travelled far to these 'ere parts?"

An apparition , oh lor not The ogress again .No..It was the beautiful lady & shesaid

got her hands on them ,but now I seem to be in a much friendlier place so
of he went happily singing Give me sunshine until out of nowhere
appeared

after my neeps & onions .cant carry on .they have shrivelled up because i was in hot water .oh woe is me pain & suffering in my best crop .well it was till she

always trying to fatten me up, and keeps buying bigger and bigger pots.

" 'Tis easy, lad" said the old man slipping him a packet containing some powder.

"What is it?" asked Eldrick, "Poison?"

The old man snorted into his beer (that is, his own beer not Eldricks!)

"Nay Lad,' tis curry powder. Give her that and she'll think that you're trying to curry favour with her" and chuckling to himself he stepped outside to water the dahlias .

Although Eldrick didn't appreciate the humour, he knew from the speech that he had reached northern climes. Soon he would be in the wilds of Lancashire where the natives were rumoured to

A big lady , she keeps popping up everwhere I go and I
cant get rid of her she has cannabalistic ways ,she is

have you come far lad only you seem a bit lost,
I'm trying to get to scotland said Eldrick only I keep getting caught by

hiding place - when it got dark he soldiered on until he came to a small village - the pub was still open and with the few quid he had left he managed to buy a pint - nectar!!! An old chap in the corner asked him

onions & neeps he was in

was in he really could do with a shave and hair cut but where to get it with out some one finding his

:-D :-D :-D :-D
Sat down and sorted out his dangley bits ,what a mess he

it seems we clashed Ann :-D

on his dangly bits and legged it across the field - at least he had had a wash now and felt much better for it. He headed for a wooded area where he

flying in all directions he legged it,no-one was gonna eat him today or any other day! So he hid in the forest until

The Black Lagoon. He jumped out of the pot & with bits of veg

And frightened the living daylights out of her , she thought it was something from

neeps and threw him into the pot ( She was a Cannibal and he was in a right old stew now) hitting him on the head to make sure he was cooking all over,but suddenly he remembered what he did in Borneo when the other cannibals tried to eat him so he stood up with stewed veggies hanging from all his regions and

saw him just in time as he was crawling away she grabbed him by his