General Chat

to a far away place,were big bertha with the big red billowing knickers was the thing that dreams are made of,he woke up from his terrible nightmare, "or was it a nightmare or was it real,oh god he thought did i really do that!-----did i really eat the mushrooms and show her my onions===

Allan's bbq to see if he could get any advice on skinning and cooking the little furry things, particularly as he still had the squirrel in his sporran.

A veritable feast fit for kings when cooked with those special mushrooms that

leaflets advising the best way to cook small furry animals and road kill,after all that exercise ,the poor soul needed a good meal, he wondered towards----

the city hall where they were giving out free

this bouncing up and down is upsetting my equilibrium - so he dismounted, trying to forget what Bipper had said - so disgusting :-D - and decided to walk to

thats making me squirm , its sure not doing me onions any good
and he said to the beautiful maiden woul you slow down a bit I think

I've never come on a horse before; must be the cobble stones!

often, to which he replied

for a ride , smirks hope he has money !!


flicking her long golden hair she said to him do you come thisway

see right through you,at that moment a beautiful maiden rode up on a white horse Eldrick climb up be hind me and I will take you

be averted with the sight of

A body search ( the local council were very corrupt )
Eldrick sceamed if anyone touches me tatties I gaurentee
There eyes will

It turned out to be Liquid Parafine(Movable sort of stuff) then with a great Whoosh and a spluttering he shot out the other side of the Warren straight into the middle of a Midden(Which was Hidden) and on local Council Land where the Bailiffs were waiting for him for non payment of disposing of his old Neeps (In Loo) of that he had to perform certain tasks) which meant he had to submit to

mushy peas. Really this was not what our hero wanted nor inded ever wished for, suddenly he tripped on a kerbstone fell down a rabbit hole and found himself going underground. Boy was he in a jam now, what was a man to do? He spied a table with a bottle which said "drink me" so he did and

like nothing you had ever ever seen,poor Eldrick he had never known
such misery even the NHS couldnt save his

Continued on his way and came across a special needs hospital (Specialising in Neep and onion Transplants) or Soup Making,where he met a reformed Haggis nurse who gently told him the cost of the transplants was enormouse ( Just like his late departed neeps were) but for the amount of money he had (50p) they would be able tofix him up with a couple of Dried Peas ( Similar to dried prunes only smaller) but with time and constant soaking in water they would develope into

turned his back and headed to his ancestral home and

the virtues of the WI and Mary Whitehouse. Our Hero was trapped, a spouting Druid was bad enough, but spouting on about the WI and Mary Whitehouse was the last straw. It was too much it really was so he

BiiiiG Bertha, so he continued his travels till he came to a lake,(Thats big enough he thought) however the lady of the lake said Not on your nelly is that big bird getting in my water, (She was a Tenna Lady) Arthers Sword is in here and its sharp, you think losing your neeps was bad,If thats swung at you other things may disappear, so go and sit in the little spring nearby and renew your onions (They were springing up everywhere) then you can get rid of Big Bertha and Fagash Lil,but mind ,you may end up with Big Daddy and he,s gone all religious ( A Druid) who spouts forth on

Big taps on & Big Bertha sitting on