General Chat

rendered him unconscious with an ease that astounded Eldrick just before he passed out.

Grabbing him by the hair, Big Bertha dragged him behind her as she strode down road and through a farm gate. She didn't even bother opening the gate, which exploded into splinters.

Impelled by a black fury, Big Bertha

set about making a camp fire to cook the stew on
Eldrick came to and thought

Im!! in a stew here need to get away fast .before she starts making the dumplings ouch .Big Bertha turned round &

saw him just in time as he was crawling away she grabbed him by his

neeps and threw him into the pot ( She was a Cannibal and he was in a right old stew now) hitting him on the head to make sure he was cooking all over,but suddenly he remembered what he did in Borneo when the other cannibals tried to eat him so he stood up with stewed veggies hanging from all his regions and

And frightened the living daylights out of her , she thought it was something from

The Black Lagoon. He jumped out of the pot & with bits of veg

flying in all directions he legged it,no-one was gonna eat him today or any other day! So he hid in the forest until

on his dangly bits and legged it across the field - at least he had had a wash now and felt much better for it. He headed for a wooded area where he

it seems we clashed Ann :-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D
Sat down and sorted out his dangley bits ,what a mess he

was in he really could do with a shave and hair cut but where to get it with out some one finding his

onions & neeps he was in

hiding place - when it got dark he soldiered on until he came to a small village - the pub was still open and with the few quid he had left he managed to buy a pint - nectar!!! An old chap in the corner asked him

have you come far lad only you seem a bit lost,
I'm trying to get to scotland said Eldrick only I keep getting caught by

A big lady , she keeps popping up everwhere I go and I
cant get rid of her she has cannabalistic ways ,she is

always trying to fatten me up, and keeps buying bigger and bigger pots.

" 'Tis easy, lad" said the old man slipping him a packet containing some powder.

"What is it?" asked Eldrick, "Poison?"

The old man snorted into his beer (that is, his own beer not Eldricks!)

"Nay Lad,' tis curry powder. Give her that and she'll think that you're trying to curry favour with her" and chuckling to himself he stepped outside to water the dahlias .

Although Eldrick didn't appreciate the humour, he knew from the speech that he had reached northern climes. Soon he would be in the wilds of Lancashire where the natives were rumoured to

after my neeps & onions .cant carry on .they have shrivelled up because i was in hot water .oh woe is me pain & suffering in my best crop .well it was till she

got her hands on them ,but now I seem to be in a much friendlier place so
of he went happily singing Give me sunshine until out of nowhere
appeared

An apparition , oh lor not The ogress again .No..It was the beautiful lady & shesaid